A/N: I apologize that this is a short one, but I wanted to keep my promise to get another update out tonight, and ease some suffering over the fates of Pam, Bill and crew. The next chapter will be a long one, and something I think everyone has been waiting for. So, please forgive me if it takes a bit longer, but know your patience will be rewarded!
As always, my humble gratitude to all of you for the words of encouragement and for keeping me on my toes and working hard!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or stories from The Southern Vampire series. I can only hope that Ms. Harris does not mind me taking them out to play with.
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The first thing I felt was a warm hand gently stroking my hair. I didn't want to open my eyes, though I gradually became aware that it was daylight. Maybe it had all been just a bad dream...
"Sookie..." I heard Sam's soft voice, and murmured a bit, the only response I was yet ready to give.
"You gave us quite the scare," he said, and I felt his lips gently brush my forehead.
I slowly blinked my eyes open, squinting at the sunlight that was pouring in. Sam quickly flicked the blinds closed, and I was better able to focus on my surroundings. I was in a hospital, yet again... it hadn't been a dream. I shifted agonizingly onto my back, my body feeling like it had gone through a car wash without the car.
"Sookie, don't try to move too much, you're pretty banged up," Sam said as he tried to still my movement. My right leg felt heavy, and I realized it was in a cast. I fought the urge to thank Sam for stating the obvious, catching his eyes with a question I was almost afraid to ask.
"Eric...?" I whispered.
Sam reached forward to brush the hair from my eyes, "He's fine, Sookie. He's gone to ground with Pam..." he hesitated a moment. "She lost part of her arm in the fight."
I winced, knowing the pain she was going to go through to grow back the missing limb, and I recalled her scream.
"Eric's been coming to check on you every night, I'm sure he will again this evening after the sun goes down," Sam continued.
"Every night? How long have I been out?"
"Nearly four days," he answered. "You lost a lot of blood, your body needed the time to heal."
I pushed hard at the thoughts of how that blood loss had occurred to keep them at bay. There were still too many questions I needed answers to.
"Bill?" I asked nervously, recalling my last memories of seeing him.
Sam sighed a bit, "He's in pretty bad shape, but he'll recover. Octavia and I buried him under his house to give him the safety and time to heal. She put up some wards and is checking on him regularly."
I allowed myself to relax a bit, having now confirmed that two more of my closest friends were alright. Before I could start asking about others, Sam was already answering.
"Alcide lost four from his pack... he made it through with only minor injuries," he paused again, and I sensed this was the end of the somewhat good news part to the story.
"Calvin Norris didn't make it, but he put up a hell of a fight. I understand he took down three vampires on his own, no small feat for a werepanther. Two others from the Hotshot pack were lost as well."
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, but Sam wasn't finished.
"Tray Dawson is just down the hall... he's in a coma. The doctors aren't sure if he'll make it or not. Amelia hasn't left his side except to come check on you."
"Oh, God, Sam..." I croaked through my tears.
He tenderly caressed my cheek, "Shh, Sookie. Their deaths were honorable... I know it's hard for you to understand, but there is no greater honor or wish for a pack member than to die in defense of one of their own. As a friend of the pack, that includes you."
I tried to take comfort in Sam's words, but I thought it would be a long time, if ever, before my guilt stopped eating at me. I could tell by the look on Sam's face it still wasn't over, "Tell me the rest."
He nodded wearily, "Russell lost a few of his crew, as did Eric. I believe the count was five from Fangtasia, though I'm not sure of their names..." he took a deep breath then. "And... we haven't been able to find Quinn."
I gasped, my hand flying up to my mouth.
"After he saw us out to my truck, he turned back for the hotel. That's the last I saw him. Eric remembers him returning to the battle, but no one has heard from him, nor could they locate him afterward."
I buried my face in my hands, no longer able to hold back the torrent of tears. Sam reached his arms around me, drawing me in to his embrace, allowing me to release the flood of emotion that had been trapped inside since the moment I arrived at the Bossier hotel. I cried for what seemed like hours, but was in reality probably no more than fifteen minutes.
I wept for my fallen friends... I wept for Quinn and Pam and Bill... I wept for the friends Alcide had lost, and the Hotshot panthers... for Calvin and for Tray... I wept for them all.
The only person I would not cry for, was myself. I had survived, and they had bled and died so that I could. It didn't matter what I had endured to get here, it was nothing by comparison. I would not belittle their sacrifice for one moment by thinking I deserved any tears or sympathy.
"Jason has been here a few times... he wants to see you, if and when you're ready," Sam whispered as he continued to hold me.
I nodded quietly, "I will, just... not yet."
Just then a nurse came in, bustling and far too cheerful for my mood. "Ohhhh, well look who's awake! How ya feelin', sug?" she bubbled.
Sam released me from his arms, helping me lay back gently onto the pillow.
"I've been better," I muttered.
"Aww, well, a few more days and you'll be feelin' right as rain!" she said as she swapped out my IV bag.
She checked a couple of monitors, and then headed back toward the door, "Now, Mr. Merlotte, don't you get her too riled up, she needs her rest." Then turned to me with a wink on her way out the door, "That man has barely left your side since you got here. You are one lucky girl, sug."
There were a few moments of awkward silence, and Sam was turning beet red.
"I... she's right. I should let you get some sleep," he stammered.
"Sam..." I whispered, squeezing his hand.
He silenced me from embarrassing him any further with a tender kiss, and then smiled into my eyes, "I told you, can't lose my best waitress."
My heart ached as I watched him leave the room, and I hoped he didn't come to resent me someday because I couldn't love him the way he loved me. He had given me so much... he was my best friend. If someone made a list of all the reasons Sam was perfect for me, I wouldn't have been able to argue. He could give me the life I'd always dreamed of having, and would love me and cherish me always.
But I had learned a lot in the last few days. Those little girl dreams, the ones of white picket fences and children and family vacations, they were just that... the wishes of a child who only wanted to be 'normal'. Well, the reality is that I am anything but normal... and I'm starting to believe that isn't so terrible.
The reason I had wanted all those things came mostly from my need to belong. Having always felt like the freak outsider, all I craved was a place to fit in... somewhere to call my own. I thought it was my 'disability' that was preventing all that, but perhaps I was just looking in the wrong places. My 'gift', as Bill always called it and I was beginning to believe, had led me to something so much more than I ever could have dreamed...
I continued letting all these thoughts roll through my mind, and in more than just fleeting ways. There was a question looming at the end of them... one that was almost knocking on my brain, waiting for me to recognize its presence... if I could just sit with these thoughts...
But sleep pulled me under before I could give voice to the nagging question buried deep in my mind.
TBC
