Disclaimer: I don't own ER and never will
Note: Thanks again for everyone's reviews, they're much appreciated :) Here's the next installment of angst just to show that love really doesn't run smooth
"Ray, Ray, wait up." Neela had to break into a trot to catch up with the ER R3. She had barely seen him over the last couple of weeks and on the rare occasions that she did, he had been curt with her.
He didn't turn round at her voice, just kept walking. He had nothing to say to her.
Ray was forced to stop when Neela's hand grabbed his arm and spun him forcefully to face her.
"Ray what is going on? You keep avoiding me and when you can't, you barely say three words. I don't get it." Her smooth brow was knitted in a frustrated frown, confusion in her eyes.
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He winced when she grabbed him and tried to control his growing anger. How could she pretend not to know what the problem was? Did she think that he wouldn't find out? More games even when she had promised she had gotten things straight and like a fool, he had believed her. Again. Ray hadn't been able to bring himself to speak to her since the night he had walked out of Ike's, couldn't let himself be hurt again, couldn't risk being taken in by false promises again. Therefore, the best plan was to simply not see her.
"What do you want Neela?" No small talk, no greeting, waves of unmistakable coldness emanating from him.
"I want to know what's wrong."
"You don't know? Why doesn't that surprise me, you never seem to know what's wrong. Things just happen to you don't they?"
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Neela was taken aback by how distant Ray was being, it was as if he was a stranger. "What's that supposed to mean?" She felt her hackles rise.
"You and Gates." Ray practically spat out the words.
"I'm not following." Her tone matched his.
"How about I fill you in? You looked pretty cosy in Ike's." His arms were folded, defensive.
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Oh no, that's what was wrong. She hadn't even thought, hadn't considered it to be an issue. It had been so innocent.
"Ray, why didn't you come over, you would have seen it wasn't what you thought." Neela couldn't believe that they were arguing over Gates again, that was meant to be past now.
"I saw enough." He looked away briefly. "Why were you with him?" His voice was tight.
"Because he's still a friend, despite what you might think." Neela was getting angry now. Nobody was going to dictate who she could see, especially not Ray. "You don't trust me." It was a statement, not a question, her tone accusing.
"It's Gates I don't trust." Ray was weary. Why was it always so complicated with her?
Brown eyes clouded with sadness. "No, Ray, you don't trust me. You think I'm that easy I would rush back to him." She suddenly felt drained, too tired to keep fighting. They had been skirting round each other for so long and it was one set-back after another. Everything was telling her that it just wasn't meant to be. Slim shoulders slumped and turning in defeat, Neela walked away.
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No, no, no! His brain was screaming at him. This wasn't supposed to happen, she wasn't supposed to walk away, he wasn't supposed to let her walk away. Was she right? Did he really mistrust her? She's wrong. I'm just afraid of losing her. Maybe I've lost her before I even got her. He had seen the resignation in her eyes and felt icy fear close around his heart.
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Katey watched the altercation from behind a curtain and gave a satisfied smile. As Ray headed in her direction, she stepped out, head bent over a chart.
"Hey, how you doing?" Her lips were curved in a warm smile.
"Katey, hi." At least she was pleased to see him.
"I was thinking, I got a spare ticket for that new band you were talking about. Wanna come? They're playing tonight" Say 'yes', Ray.
"Ah, I dunno, it's been a long week and I'm not feeling up to it."
Shit, be cool. "No problem, I just thought you'd have enjoyed it. Never mind, I'll catch you later." She glided casually away.
Katey smirked to herself when a few moments later, Ray' voice said, "On second thought, I'll take you up on that gig."
He needed a friendly face to take away the bitterness of his fight argument with Neela.
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"You ok?" Gates had seen Neela enter the doctors' lounge and seeing an opportunity, he had been quick to follow.
"Do you ever wish that your life was already mapped out for you and you didn't need to worry about where you were going?"
He chuckled. "Now where would be the fun in that?" Gates eyed her carefully and in a measured tone said, "Nobody said it would be easy. It's all part of the ride."
Neela pursed her lips ruefully. "When did you become such a philosopher?"
"Call it experience." He flashed his pearly whites. "What do you say to coming to dinner with a wise old sage?"
Neela hesitated, she could sense danger but she reminded herself that their last meeting had gone well and at the end of the day, she wasn't with Ray and it seemed that she never would be.
"Sounds good, share some of that wisdom." What did she have to lose? She answered herself. Ray.
Ahh, poor reela, i think it will be a little while before they sort this one out.
