AN: Ah the morning after... always a pleasure.
"Oi, Naruto."
Kakashi was crouched above a snoring Naruto.
"Naruto."
Still, Naruto seemed to be deeply engrossed in his dream. Kakshi groaned and slapped Naruto on the forehead, or so he thought. Naruto's ninja reflexes kicked in and he caught Kakashi's hand in a death grip, Kakshi half-heartedly tried to free himself from Naruto's grip. After several seconds, Kakashi sighed and gave Naruto a small electric shock… okay, more like a tazer shock, which was more than enough to wake him up.
Naruto jolted awake, the hundreds of volts coursing through his body caused his muscles to contract. Of course, Naruto let go of Kakashi's wrist, but he also leapt a hundred meters into the air, taking his tent with him. Naruto came down in a heap, the tarp wrapped around his body. Naruto pouted as he nursed a small bruise on his forehead.
"Oi! Kakashi-sensei! What was that about?"
"It's 9:00, Naruto. I let you sleep in, we have to get moving."
"Nani? Why'd you let me sleep in so late?"
"I'd figured you'd be tired. So, you and Anko?"
"How'd you know? We were far away for you to-"
"She's walking really funny and both your tents were empty this morning... Also she couldn't wake you up so she had to come get me."
Naruto's ears twitched as he looked at Kakashi suspiciously. "Who else knows?"
"Everybody except Shikamaru… and he'll probably figure it out on his own. You know… Anko-san could really help you with your girl problems."
Naruto was confused. "Girl problems? You mean the fangirls in Konoha?"
Kakashi rolled his eye "Naruto, you made Sakura faint, and Inoichi keeps talking about how he thought Ino was a lesbian until now."
Naruto stood and shook the errant bits of dirt and grass off of his body, he was about to reply, but his stomach growled. Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head.
"So uh, what about breakfast Kakashi-sensei?"
"Foodpills."
"Aw, really?
Kakshi's half lidded eye rolled as he tried to appease the teenager. "If you're still hungry after we find leads, I'll treat you to whatever you want. Let's get going."
Naruto flipped over to Kakashi and exclaimed. "Alright, let's do this 'ttebayo!"
Naruto and Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves. They reappeared in a back alley in the fishing village. Kakashi then transformed, out of the plume of smoke stepped a white-haired sailor with an eyepatch and a straw hat. Naruto looked at kakashi and thought for a second, his face lit up and he transformed into a female version of himself.
Sailor Kakashi stared at 'Naruko' for a second. "Really?"
Naruko pouted and transformed into a slim fisherman he'd seen several months ago.
"That'll work. Come on, I have an old contact here we can use."
Sasuke was walking down the street, not as himself of course, but as a merchant he saw a few years ago. Saying he didn't miss his previous life would be a total lie, Sasuke was tired of having to look over his shoulder day in and day out, be it for hunter-nin or Orochimaru himself. Sasuke was well aware of what he was walking into when he left, but he had a mission to complete, and until then, he'd kill himself before Orochimaru stole his body.
Sasuke was jarred from his thoughts as two fisherman brushed past him, the older of the two stared at him for a couple of seconds and raised his eyebrow as he left to catch up to his genin.
Sasuke, supremely suspicious, almost went for his sword, but Orochimaru would probably chew him out for causing a scene. Sasuke religiously kept his distance from the old snake for the past 2½ years unless he wanted to learn something, and he wouldn't be changing his ways any time soon. Sasuke continued to stare at the retreating ninja for a moment before turning and continuing his errand to buy some fish for the night.
After walking for a few minutes Kakashi suddenly piped up. "Orochimaru's in this village."
"Eh? How do you know?"
"I just saw Sasuke."
Naruto turned and stopped Kakashi. "… Shouldn't we follow him!?"
Kakashi cracked his neck and looked down at his 'fellow fisherman'. "I expected a more… impulsive reaction from you. So you understand that we can't risk a fight in the middle of the street?"
"I know! I'm just tired of this Sasuke business hanging over my head."
Kakashi looked at Naruto and patted him on the head. "You'll run into him when the time is right. For now, we're going to the red light district."
Naruto's eyes narrowed as he stared at his teacher. "Eh? Why?"
"If you want information, you work from the bottom up, so we start with the seedier areas of town."
Naruto looked up at his teacher. "Is that where you went when we were learning the tree climbing technique?
"Yup. I have a contact that may know something about an S-Class missing ninja staying in their village."
"I hate brothels."
"It'll be fine."
Naruto pouted. "... I doubt that."
"Well, that remains to be seen."
A man was running down the street, but accidentally cornered himself when he ducked into an alleyway. Mitsuki judo-flipped him into a wall before he had time to regret his decision to turn that way.
The man squeezed his head in fear. "Alright, I'll answer your questions! Just don't kill me!"
Anko and Mitsuki were disguised as burly fishermen as they stared down at a pathetic looking shell of a man as he began to spill his guts. His name was Zori, a former swordsman for hire under the employ of the late Crime Boss, Gato. It was by sheer luck that he'd survived the uprising caused by Team 7 3 years ago. Now, reduced to begging in the street, Zori had taken up work as a lackey for the new crook in town.
Mitsuki knelt down and gripped the collar of his shirt, threatening him flatly.
"Now, I need you to tell us which types of crime this new man is involved with… otherwise…" Mitsuki looked back at Anko. "My associate here will take over, and I'll be stuck scraping you off of the walls, neither of us want that, correct?"
"What? Y-you both know what'll happen to me if I say anything! I can't tell you that!"
Anko grabbed Mitsuki's shoulder and gently moved in front of her as she released her henge.
Zori's eyes widened as he noticed the headband and… how hot this ninja chick was. "You're a leaf kunoichi! What the hell kinda business you got with him anyway?"
Anko gave Zori a good look at her cleavage through the fishnet shirt as she knealt down and straddled Zori's legs. He stopped questioning her immediately.
Anko took off her trench coat as she smirked down at Zori. "Lucky for you, I'm in a good mood today, so I don't feel like killing you right now. A good roll in the hay would make my day even better than it already is." Anko smirked at Zori while he stared back, his eyes full of lust and confusion.
Anko sliced open Zori's obi with a kunai and began to unbutton his shirt, but stopped halfway down.
"I'm on an important mission," Anko pointed to her headband. "But a little… fun on the job'd never hurt anybody. The only thing I need from you is this man's location… tell me so we can fuck."
"Really?"
Anko licked Zori's ear as she whispered in it. "Like rabbits in the spring." Anko could feel a bulge in the man's pants and smirked at him. "I don't think your friend downstairs wants to wait any longer, tell me what I want to know and we can both enjoy ourselves."
He finally caved and answered Anko. "Alright, his name is Hayamoto, he's a Yakuza Boss. Runs the drug trade, weapons smuggling, and human trafficking on the side. He owns the boat company over on the docks as a cover."
Anko smiled. "Thanks." Zori moved to take off Anko's fishnet shirt, and smirked as her breasts popped out… Anko pinned Zori to the wall, and the 'fun' began…
Meanwhile, the real Anko had never moved from her spot at the entrance to the alleyway. She stared at Zori in confusion since he seemed to be talking to himself. The two kunoichi watched as Zori acted out his lewd fantasy with his imaginary partner.
The Snake Mistress smirked. "Genjutsu... I wish I could have gotten into it, but I never had the control."
Mitsuki, holding a tiger hand-sign chuckled while she focused on the man before her. "The best part about this is, I don't even know what he's seeing. This genjutsu always shows someone their most basic desire. So... any guesses?"
Zori started humping the air. "Bend over and lemme suck your elbows!"
Anko started to laugh beneath her breath at the strange sight. "I think I have an idea..."
The two Kunoichi reactivated their disguises and exited the alley. They continued the conversation on the way to the docks.
Anko slapped her stomach in amusement. "There's no tellin' what kind of freaky shit that guy was into, come on, elbows?"
Mitsuki smirked. "Speaking of freaky things… how did it go with Uzumaki-sama last night?"
Anko smirked. "I was... pleasantly surprised."
"Strange, I'd never pick him as 'experienced'."
"Oh, he's not experienced at all, his uh… enthusiasm made up for everything else." Anko trailed off and smirked at Mitsuki. "You don't seem like you've gotten any in a while. Maybe you should give him a whirl?"
Mitsuki rolled her eyes. "I'm his bodyguard. Kakashi-taichou gave me a valuable piece of advice a few years ago. It concerned dating where you work; he summed it up rather bluntly when he said "Don't shit where you eat, Mitsuki.""
Anko grinned. "Ooooh, did he shoot you down too?"
Mitsuki turned up her nose and walked faster.
"Well, that's a yes."Anko muttered to herself as she jogged to catch up with the green-eyed former ANBU.
"Let's just focus on the mission, Anko."
"I can't believe you offered me as payment for that information!" Naruto pouted as they exited the red light district.
Kakashi eye smiled at his student. "Naruto, how many men can say that prostitutes will service them for free?"
"That's not the point!"
"So, what'd you two do anyway?"
"Nothing. We just talked."
Kakashi squinted at Naruto. "Really now?"
"Yeah. She was real down about her situation in life, so I convinced her to go out and chase her dreams. She wanted to join a traveling theatre troupe."
The Jonin started to chuckle. "Of course you'd do that."
Naruto pouted even more, unable to see what was so funny. "Did you at least get some worthwhile information for selling me out as a stud? Like Orochimaru's location, or a decent place to eat?"
Kakashi patted Naruto on the head. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten my promise, you can pick where we eat now. She gave me a list of all the unregistered buildings used for the drug trade and human trafficking. If Shikamaru can narrow this list down for us, we can probably find out where Orochimaru is hiding."
Naruto grinned. "So it was worth it!"
They found a nearby food ramen stand and walked through the curtain. Looking through the menu, Naruto's stomach rumbled. This particular ramen stand had a bunch of flavors he'd never even heard of. "Let's eat!"
Kakashi peered into his wallet and sighed, he'd have to make a trip to the bank when they got back. Meanwhile, Naruto looked up at Kakashi from his menu. 'I wish he'd undo that henge so I could see his fa-.'
Naruto's thoughts were cut short when he observed the general shape of Kakashi's 'face'. Naruto would have been excited, but the ridiculous facial hair obscured his teacher's features. His brain continued to rattle around due to the fact that since Kakashi was under henge, the visage in front of him likely wasn't even Kakashi's real face anyway.
Naruto shrugged and decided to wait for a more opportune time to see his teacher's face. Grinning, he relayed his excessively long order to the gawking waitress.
Shikamaru was lazily staring at the clouds when Jiraiya appeared in a swirl of leaves.
"Oh, hey Jiraiya-sama. Report?"
"The Mizukage is willing to cooperate with us, she's also beefing up security in the village."
Shikamaru scratched his head in confusion. "She? I swear, it's like they have a different Mizukage every week."
Blood started to stream from Jiraiya's nose. "This one's a real stunner too!"
Shikamaru cut Jiraiya off. "Don't get attached, she probably won't last either. So, what do you have for me?"
Jiriaya's demeanor did a total 180 as he was suddenly rattling off his accomplishments. "My contacts gave me several leads and I pursued them. All of them except one lead to dead ends, has the name, 'Hayamoto' come up yet? He's got control of the drug trade, and has some 'off the books' real-estate going. I have copies of communications between Otogakure and this Hayamoto guy."
Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't know, but I scheduled a mandatory report-in just half an hour from now. You're early, so there's no need to feel alarmed yet."
Shikamaru jumped up and sauntered into the big tent. He sat down and funneled some chakra into the radio as he flipped it to the right frequency.
Shikamaru grabbed the mic and hit the talk button.
"If you can hear this, hit the all clear button."
Shikamaru looked at a panel on the receiver. Only two of the lights came on.
"Anko, Mitsuki. Respond."
Some static came in and the sounds of breaking glass could be heard in the background as Anko's voice came through. "Sorry! Can't talk right now! In a fight!"
Shikamaru hit the call button for Naruto and Kakashi. "Naruto, Kakashi. Can you move to support them?"
"Affirmative."
"Uh. Yeah!"
Right then, Mitsuki's voice came through. "We're fine, we've… procured some intel that you'd probably like to see."
Shikamaru hit Anko's call button. "You didn't make a mess did you?"
Anko's laughter blared on the radio. "You must not have read my file very well."
Shikamaru squeezed the bridge of his nose. "Mataku... Will anyone notice it?"
The snake woman's grin was almost audible through the mic. "That's what Mitsuki's here for! She can make anything disappear."
Kakashi piped in on the closed channel. "You want us to report in early?"
Shikamaru took a sip from his canteen. "Jiraiya-sama's back, and he has leads. I'd like to run them against your findings."
"Awesome! I'm tired of sneaking around –dattebayo-!"
Shikamaru smirked. "Bad news, Uzumaki. You're not done yet." Shikamaru's quick thinking and reflexes lead him to flip the off switch on the radio. Knowing Naruto, he was probably yelling his frustrations over the radio. Shikamaru waited a few seconds and flipped the radio back on… there was silence, and then a string of unintelligibly loud ranting.
Naruto really had changed, he was sharp enough to wait for Shikamaru to turn the radio back on.
After reconvening, the team handed in their intel. Anko and Mitsuki went directly to Hayamoto and forced him to give them a copy of his business transactions and bank account records over the past week. Kakashi and Naruto got a manifest of all the unlisted buildings in the entire village with descriptions of their uses and their unofficial owners. Lastly, Jiraiya had gotten proof that it was Hayamoto who was dealing with Orochimaru.
Shikamaru dispersed the team to patrol the village for suspicious activity while he tried to piece together the clues.
With this information, Shikamaru was able to strike 75% of the buildings on Kakashi and Naruto's list. He then used the corresponding dates in Hayamoto's bank and business transactions to find when and where Orochimaru could have likely purchased a temporary hideout.
However, the final list of possible locations would not be completed until the next mvorning, leaving room for things to go awry.
Naruto was walking on a familiar forest path beneath the starlit sky. He looked up and smiled as a gust of wind brushed through his hair. Naruto could feel the waves of nostalgia as he passed through the very clearing where he met Haku. He saw the tree with the fist indentation and walked over to it.
He jumped up to the nearest branch he could see and plucked one of the fruits off of it. He stared in mild annoyance at the fruit, he took a bite and held it on his tongue.
It tasted terrible. Naruto spat the disgustingly sour fruit out and realized how hungry he was at that very moment.
'You smell that?'
'Yup, salmon. Someone must be cooking.'
'Who?'
'Tazuna's family, maybe? I'm gonna pay them a visit!'
Naruto walked down the path and was about to turn to go to Tazuna's house, but he'd decided to pay Haku's grave a visit first since it was close by.
Naruto reached that all too familiar hill and walked past the spot where he would place the Hiraishin Kunai when before they went back to Konoha. He walked over to her grave and knelt down. He thought about the time they shared, and just how much she changed him. Naruto looked out onto the water as it beautifully reflected the night sky, his thoughts shifting to his promise to Sakura. Knowing Sasuke was somewhere nearby made him anxious to end this quest once and for all, but deep down, Naruto knew that anything worth doing was never really easy.
'I still love Sakura, more than anything in the world, but I know that my place isn't at her side. The only thing I want, is for her to be happy, so if I run into Sasuke, I'm bringing him back to her. Just to see Sakura smile like she used to means more to me than she'll ever understand...'
'... How can I become Hokage if I can't even save one person?'
"I've stayed long enough Haku-chan. I'll see you lat-…"
'Hey, you listening? Something seems off about this patch of grass. It's not reflecting any light.'
'I'm the last being you should consult on genjutsu if that's what you're asking me. Have the green-eyed female take a look at it before you leave.'
'We'll deal with this later.'
"Until next time, Haku."
Naruto approached Tazuna's house with a big grin on his face. The house had been expanded since he last visited. Naruto knocked on the door, and after a long pause, it opened.
It was Inari, he'd grown several inches taller, but the most striking thing about him was the Kirigakure headband on his forehead.
"Naruto?"
"In the flesh!"
Inari squeezed Naruto into a bear hug as he questioned the long absence.
Naruto grinned and scratched his head. "Sorry, I was traveling with my master and we spent most of our time in the wilderness. I didn't have any way to send messages or anything!"
Inari pulled Naruto through the door, it was surprising how strong the boy was for his size.
"I see you're a ninja now. Tazuna-ojii-san probably wasn't too happy about that."
Inari stopped pulling Naruto. "Meh, he got over it. I'm on vacation right now, so it's a coincidence all of you stopped through at the same time."
"All of us? Did Kakashi-sensei come through here?"
"No! Sasuke's here!"
"... What?"
Naruto slowly creeped into the dining room, and there he was, sitting at the table passing fish around like it was just another day.
Naruto's eye twitched as he waited for Sasuke, Tsunami, and Tazuna to notice him. Sasuke looked up after a couple of seconds and nearly choked on his food. The two adults moved to help him but he was able to swallow the salmon before they stood up.
Inari waltzed into the room. "Hey! Look who dropped by. It's Naruto."
Naruto locked eyes with Sasuke, who's unreadable expression was completely priceless. Sasuke continued to chew his food in mild disgust.
Naruto cracked his knuckles and bared his fangs as his eyes went red. "So... How've you been, teme?"
Sasuke's Sharingan spun into view as he stared Naruto down, that all too familiar tone, laden with sarcasm was almost nostalgic.
"I've been doing fine... Would you like something to eat?"
Aaaaannnd, shit just got real.
Can Naruto and Sasuke sit down and have a civilized meal? SPOILER... they won't
THIS should have happened in the show.
~ Breath of the Wiz
