Disclaimer: I don't own it

My dad made it out of surgery just fine but they had to cut him a little more than they said they would so I spent fourteen hours in the surgery waiting room without internet because the nurse wouldn't give me the pass code. I didn't get anything done because I was running on three hours of sleep. I'm still zombiefied today but I got coffee and the addicts are in a Christmas mood.

If you read the summary and that's what hooked you into this story then this is the moment you've all been waiting for. Since I was gone for a day or two I'm going to update tomorrow.

A couple of people have asked if they know each others names yet and I haven't had any time to reply to reviews. No they don't, that's part of the beauty of this dysfunctional duo. It will come up much later.

Enjoy

Chapter Twelve

Brown Eyes POV

My poor pitiful Stalkerboy

He stomps around the front of his car and gets in without saying a word. I watch him fumble with his keys because his fingers are probably numb from the cold. I feel badly for him, but the idiot could have gotten in the damn car to wait.

It means a lot that he waited for me. I practically ran the half a mile here because Uncle Charlie was sauced on the weird ass moonshine he makes out back that I'm not even sure is supposed to be consumable. It didn't stop me from taking a shot before I took off down the street and I'm not dead yet, so I guess we're good.

I'd expected to arrive at the coffee shop and find it vacant, but there he was, sitting on the stoop destroying what was once a really beautiful bouquet of flowers and muttering to himself like a crazed lunatic. I expected him to give me a hard time, but I can't stand the woe-is-me attitude, so I nipped that shit in the bud quickly.

He doesn't know that I heard him mumble something about me blowing him.

Silly Stalkerboy. That's a fifth date occurrence.

"Are you too warm?" he asks nervously, taking a look at my face. "You look flushed."

"Oh no. I'm good." I hold my hands in front of the vent. "So where are we going?"

"We don't really have much to choose from," he mutters.

"Well even if I was on time, we wouldn't have been able to eat at the pier because, again, I'm allergic to shellfish." I let out a sigh before I see something promising. I point in its direction. "Pull in here."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh, but I am, Stalkerboy. This is where I want to go."

"But-" He scowls at the establishment as he parks out front.

"What? Do you have a problem with this place?"

He shakes his head and gets out.

He doesn't open my door for me because I'm not into that shit. Chivalry is cool and all, but women have hands and feet; they can do that shit themselves. I take his hand in mine because he doesn't have gloves and he seems to thaw out a little.

"I've never been here for a date," he chuckles bitterly.

"It's my favorite place in the entire world," I smile and reach for the door before he can.

We stand outside for a second arguing about who will go first because he's trying to be a gentleman and I'm trying to give him a hard time. We pass under the Golden Arches and make it to a cash register where a very bored soul is sitting on a stool.

"Welcome to McDonalds. What can I get for you?" he asks in between yawns.

Stalkerboy looks up at the menu with a frown and gestures for me to go ahead.

"I'll have a number one, extra sauce. Make it a large, no salt on the fries and instead of a soda, can I get a chocolate milkshake?"

The guy nods.

"And one of those cinnamon bun bowl things. Yeah," I add.

Stalkerboy chuckles. "You're going to eat all of that?"

"Hell yes," I nod. "What are you going to get?"

"A hot chocolate." He looks back up at the menu. "I don't really know what I want."

"Don't you come to McDonalds?" He shakes his head. "Not even as a kid?" Another shake. "Holy shit."

"What? This food isn't very healthy. I saw this documentary on a happy meal that this dude kept in his kitchen for like months or years and it looked the same as-"

"Stop right there," I cut him off. "I've heard these myths and I don't believe them."

I turn to the poor guy behind the counter that's watching our interaction with mild interest. "Just give him the same thing."

"That will be $19.01."

"That's it?" Stalkerboy asks in weird fascination as he pulls his wallet out.

The guy nods while I suppress a giggle.

Our food is ready in less than five minutes and we find a secluded table between the bathrooms and the ball pit because I don't want to be anywhere near either. I divvy the food up and watch Stalkerboy pick up a French fry between two fingers.

"So much grease," he puckers his face.

"Here... put some corn syrup on it," I chuckle, setting one of ten little cups of ketchup in front of him.

He dips the tip and takes the tiniest bite out of the fry.

"Good?" I ask as I pile French fries onto a layer of my Big Mac.

"It's okay," he shrugs before grabbing three fries and shoving them into his mouth.

"Liar." I bump him with my shoulder. "You can admit that you like it. It won't hurt."

"Alright. I like it."

"Now let's try the Big Mac."

He practically inhales his Big Mac and fries before turning to the cinnamon bowl.

To an onlooker he looks like a guy with a serious case of the munchies.

"Why are you laughing?" he asks, spooning chocolate milkshake into his mouth because he couldn't get any using a straw.

"Because you're cute. That's all."

"Cute," he mumbles. "That's not what I was going for."

"Oh shut up!" I slap his shoulder. "If you need an ego boost, you picked the wrong girl."

"I did, huh?" I nod. "Okay."

"So. You asked me out on this date and so far I've broken your McDonald's virginity. Which in this day and age is blasphemy," I snort. "What was your motive?"

"Who said I had a motive?" he asks.

"Why'd you ask me out, Stalkerboy?"

"That's simple," he shrugs turning to me. "I wanted to get into your pants."

I don't think before I act. I punch the fucker in his mouth. And he has the gall to look surprised when I pull my arm back.

How dare he?

So yes I did edit the wording a little bit from the summary to the actual story but that's only because people are still reporting people like the douches they are and I wanted to slide in under the radar. I happen to like the story more than the summary.. it seems more fitting for Brown Eyes

Million cool points to the people that can spot the Twilight shout out somewhere in there. I've never had a big mac with meat but I LOVE a meatless big mac piled high with unsalted fries. Don't knock it till you try it. great now I'm hungry. *insert sad face* What's your favorite menu item from Mcdonalds? mine is the shamrock shake they have around St. Patrick's day. Yum.

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