DEAR EVERYBODY thanks for waiting for me
Sincerely Kota
Don't own
To Mrs. Agget I love your stories
My stomach churned at the idea of Charlie finding me. It sickened me, frightened me, and some sickly way excited me. He had the epitome of my desires; the cream to my coffee, the cake to my frosting….I was an addict. I wanted to be clean and perfect for Jasper but for some reason, my brain was a mother fucking traitor.
"Baby…you're drooling." Jasper whispered wiping the corners of my mouth. "What's going on in that brain of yours love?" He asked running his thumb over my lips gently, soothingly, lovingly.
"I just….I just really want heroin…" I whimpered, casting my eyes downward toward the sheets. "It's like this craving that just won't go away today." I muttered pushing the tips of my fingers together in pure uncertainty.
His hand ran against the small of my back trying to make me feel wanted. Loved. Needed. "You are too strong. You can overcome this I know deep in my heart, Edward that we can get past this." He whispered, his breath running over my neck. "You astound me with all of your passion to get through this. I just know you can do this." I nodded dumbly in response. I didn't think I could ever be the man he wanted. Desired. Needed. "You don't believe me do you?" I nodded once again his fingers delicately pushed up my face. My eyes meeting his. "You can do this."
"I can?" I asked looking into his beautiful blue orbs. "I just don't think I could stand disappointing you. If I do I think it's going to break me…I can't take it." He just nodded and let me start to vent. "I mean what if Charlie finds me….its not like he is going to let me stay here in my happy bubble and live the rest of my life in happiness…..no he'll take me back out on to the streets and treat like the drug whore I actually am!" My hands ripped at my hair. His fingers coiled around mine bringing me out of my pity party.
"You are not a whore…I will not let you call yourself that…being a victim which you are does not make you any less of a man Edward." He said, letting his lips gently cover mine. A sigh of relief escaped me , I felt safe. Protected. Loved. "I love you. And nothing will change that, do you understand?" I nodded and a beautiful smile graced his lips. "I'm glad."
"BOYS! WE HAVE COMPANY GET DOWN HERE!" Esme yelled from the bottom of the stairs knocking me out of my alone time with Jasper. I stumbled out of the sheets and onto the floor, Jasper giggled as I shuffled around in the sheets.
"Help?" I asked now completely cocooned in sheets. He scurried over to me, pulling the sheets away from my frame, giggling all the while. He pulled me from the floor but did not release my hand. I smiled at him, and we started down the stairs, to meet this mysterious company.
We walked hand in hand into the living room, but what sat on the couch shocked me to no end. Bella strolled over to us with a brilliant smile. Totting the man on her arm I would always be afraid of.
"Jacob, this is my girlfriend's brother Jasper and his boyfriend Edward." He turned around and I could have has a heart attack right there. He was back….I was going to get punished, his sickly sweet smile that fooled everyone into believing he was innocent…god were they wrong.
"Hello Jasper." His tanned hand gripped my boyfriends and I wanted to hurl. His bony fingers ran over his knuckles, like he was appraising the value. "And Edward…was it?" His eyes darkened with that deathly rage I had always seen..his teeth gleamed in the lighting…they almost dazzled me.
"Yes." I squeaked, Jasper raised his eyebrow at me. His eyes scanning over me waiting for me to collapse or worse die on spot. I clenched around Jasper's hand, trying to keep my head 300 steps ahead of his.
"Well, Edward you are hot." I gagged, but kept everything down, he was pressuring me trying to make me break before him, like he had done so many times before. Jasper's eyes glared at him as he looked me up and down like a piece of meat. To him I was always that, a piece of meat. "I must say Jasper you are a lucky man." I shook under his penetrating gaze, looking around the room I could see on all the family's faces that they didn't know what to do.
For fuck sakes, Edward. RUN! GET AWAY! Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist trying to sooth me to ease my troubles and push my worries away. This was easier said than done. "Excuse me, Jacob was it? You can quit checking out my boyfriend at any time." Jacob looked stunned that someone would talk back to him. I never would have, when I tried things happened that I wish could get out of my head.
"Well Jasper. I'll stop." He huffed and walked over to the couch and sat down next to Bella who were now gossiping over the next years fashion and other unimportant things. Jasper pulled me over into the arm chair, and positioned me in his lap. I placed my forehead against his shoulder as he ran his hand up and down my back.
"Just relax baby." He muttered. I almost wanted to say how can I relax with my rapist ex-boyfriend sitting on the couch. I nodded still continuing to shake it was awkward it was almost as if I could feel Jacob's eyes burrowing into my back….I swear I could feel his breath washing over my neck…feel his dull nails run over my spin. I shook harder in my lover's embrace. This was awful, I thought that maybe maybe here. He wouldn't find me.
"I'm going to go grab some hot chocolate. You lovely young people stay here." Esme smiled and dragged Carlisle into the kitchen with her. Everyone giggled at the term young people, they were young. I felt like I was a million. I've been through so much shit that I could easily have been a million.
The room was filled with mindless talking and chatter. Trying to fill that pollution known as silence. "So Edward how long have you and Jasper been together?" Jacob asked making everything drop to silence. That fucking pollution!
"We have been together for a month, Jacob." Jasper said with authority. Kissing my temple, his calloused hands ran up and down my back. The sounds of mugs clinking together. Brought me out of my pity party, Esme gently placed the try on the table smiling as she did so.
"Drink up everybody, Carlisle and I are going to go get a few things for dinner. See you lovely young people in a few." She smiled and once again took Carlisle's hand and took him from the living room and out the front door. Once again I was left with this man without adult supervision. I grabbed a cup from the table and my hands quacked with fear. Before I even knew it the cup slipped and spilled the hot comtents into my lap along with smashing into pieces and slicing my fingers.
"Fuck." I whimpered as I crawled from his lap, running into the kitchen I grabbed a cloth and tried to wipe the hot chocolate from my body. Jasper strode into the kitchen to make sure I was ok. Tears had already broke over…so much for being strong.
"Baby. Shhhhh." He said placing paper towel onto my fingers to stop the blood trickling down my forearm. "What has you so shaken up baby?" He asked wiping the tears from under my eyes with his thumb. I took in a shaky breath…I won't lie to him.
"You know Jacob…right?" I whispered and he kneaded my neck. He nodded signaling he was ready for the answer. "Well….that's….uh…that's…uh…he's…my ex-boyfriend. The rapist one." I whimpered, when Jasper's hand stilled on my neck.
"Are you serious?" He asked gently. I nodded and looked up at him his eyes were full of rage and anger. And he did something I did not expect. He booked it out of the room screaming. "YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!" He lunged at Jacob and wrapped his hands around his neck!
"NO!" I yelled. Running after them it was going to be a long night.
I love you guys
Merry Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanza…if I missed yours happy that also
Love you all so much
Kota
REVIEW PLEASE!
