Thank you Kouw for being absolutely amazing!


The day passed in a flurry of activity for both of them. In church they had sat next to each other as they had done countless times before – but this time he had covertly reached for her hand when the vows were exchanged, had delighted in the small blush that had spread over her cheeks, in the way she had gently squeezed his hand in return.

He had been able to work his magic upstairs because he knew that she kept things running smoothly downstairs (preventing Mrs. Patmore from braining the additionally hired kitchen help for nearly ruining the cake; already having an extra set of champagne flutes at the ready when one of the footmen dropped his tray on the stairs).

When bride and groom left the reception (to head towards their honeymoon in Southern Italy), so did he. Charles didn't inform the family, simply handed the reigns over to Mr. Barrow before making his way downstairs. If his wife was surprised to find him waiting in her sitting room with her coat in his hands, she didn't show it. He wordlessly helped her into it before both said a brief goodbye to Anna and Mrs. Patmore (a quick promise made between the women to sit down for tea soon, to discuss the gentle touches that he had bestowed upon her all day).

Only the faintest glimmer of sunlight still touched the horizon as they made their way back to the cottage arm in arm. When they arrived, Elsie was shivering slightly. In her haste in the morning she had picked her light summer coat, forgetting that the evenings still tended to cool considerably.

She smiled softly when Charles put his hands on her shoulders from behind after he had gone to hang up their coats. "You should take a hot bath," he suggested tenderly. She leant back against his chest, enjoying his warm body close to hers before she nodded in agreement. "That would be nice."


When she returned from the bath thirty minutes later, she was dressed only in her shift, her thick terry cloth dressing gown tied over it. She padded into the bedroom and smiled softly upon noticing the small fire burning in the fireplace, the room already enveloped in comfortable warmth. She went over to the cupboard, carefully hanging up her evening dress when she heard Charles enter their bedroom. She turned around, her eyebrows lifting in surprise as she noticed that he had already changed into his pyjamas. His smile became sheepish when he noticed her reaction. He dropped his eyes to the tray he was carrying.

"I made dinner. I thought we could enjoy it in bed," he gave a little self-deprecating chuckle, "I'm sorry, it was a silly idea. I'll bring it back downstairs and then we can eat properly." He began to leave again but she held him back.

"Charles, I've told you before. We can afford to live a little," she smiled gently before moving towards their bed. She made sure that the bedspread completely covered the sheets before sitting down gingerly. Her husband put the tray on her little bedside table before presenting his choices for dinner to her.

"Would you prefer the cold chicken sandwich or the ham and cheese one?" he asked in his best butler voice as he bowed slightly before her. She barely suppressed a very unladylike giggle as she pretended to magnanimously study the alternatives. "I think I'd prefer the chicken one."

"Very well, Milady," he passed the plate to her and she settled it on her lap. "Would you care for some Pinot Noir with your meal?" This time a little laugh escaped her before she nodded her agreement to his choice of wine. When he was done serving her, he settled down on the bed next to her and they enjoyed their quiet picnic in bed. Once they had finished, Elsie quickly got off the bed and insisted on bringing the dirty dishes downstairs.

When she returned, Charles had settled back against the headboard. He hadn't pulled the bedspread off, which confused her a little but then she noticed the way he was positioned awkwardly, almost insecurely in the middle of the bed. If she wanted to join him, she'd have to lie against him. She hesitated for only a second before making her way to the bed – fighting the ridiculous urge to pull the dressing gown tighter around herself – and settling down next to him. He immediately put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer against his side. He waited patiently as she gradually relaxed against him. Her racing heart slowed down at the realization of how comfortable being snuggled against him made her feel. Finally, she leant against him fully, allowing her hand to reach out and lightly pet his chest. His hand almost instantaneously came up and covered hers tenderly, a content sigh escaping his lips.

"We didn't get to finish what we began last night," he spoke softly and instantly cursed his choice of words when he felt her tense again. "I would like us to continue our talk if you don't mind." She relaxed once more, her fingers playing with the fabric of his pyjama top even as his large hand lay over hers. Elsie's eyes were focused on their hands as she nodded in agreement, not quite sure what to say, waiting for him to start the conversation.

"Won't you tell me what made you so unhappy?" he inquired softly, lightly caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. She took a deep breath as she mulled her possible answers over in her mind.

"It was a combination of many small things, I think," she began slowly. "I wasn't used to having so much time to myself and I certainly wasn't used to not knowing what to do with myself. And you… you adapted so very well to your new life." His thumb stopped its caresses at her perceived reproach and she quickly closed her fingers around his hand and looked up at him. "Don't misunderstand me; I didn't begrudge you your easy transition. I was a little proud to be honest. I was just… a little jealous as well." She lowered her eyes again and now smoothed her thumb over his knuckles. "For all my life I had known where I was headed, what I was doing. Retirement took that away. I didn't know how to be a lady of leisure. I didn't know how to be a wife. I didn't even know if you really wanted a marriage in the true sense." He brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

"You must have known that nothing would change between us. We were practically married when we worked together," he replied gently.

"You know that is not true. We were never free to meet when we wanted, we were never undisturbed for too long. We never discussed anything in depth. We may have shared what we were feeling – sometimes – but we were neither able nor allowed to venture deeper. We never managed to break down those societal barriers between us. So I was very much hoping for some change between us when we married. I wanted us to be able to talk freely."

"But we weren't really able to talk once we were married," he interjected softly, drawing her a little closer to him.

"No, we weren't," she briefly worried her lower lip, "I wasn't sure… that is to say… I didn't know how you felt and then you were never home so I just assumed you wanted someone to keep you company, not necessarily a wife."

He began chuckling and she nearly pulled away from him in vexation, but he tightened his hold on her. "And I always thought that I was being uncomfortably obvious about my feelings. I bought you an electric hair-dryer for Heaven's sake. The sound that demonic contraption makes alone should have been enough to make me run out of the house in a blind panic – but I stayed, I bought it for you, because I love you," he rumbled softly and she melted back against him.

"As much as I enjoy the little gestures, it might be better if we were to be a bit more honest with each other from now," she remarked quietly. He simply pressed a kiss to her forehead in agreement.

"What about you?" she asked softly. "You can't have been happy with the way things were going."

"I wasn't unhappy as such," Charles mused quietly. "I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't think too closely about our marriage before it happened. I was more concerned about the end of my life at Downton. I knew you were my closest, most trusted friend so I didn't see any great problems about us living together." He paused for a moment, reflecting on how blind, how naive he had been. She squeezed his hand gently and he looked down to find her smiling benevolently, almost forgivingly. "You must think me a great simpleton for assuming that nothing would change between us, that spending day and night together wouldn't alter everything between us." She shook her head softly but didn't speak so Charles decided to continue. "I have always been in control of everything at Downton, hardly anything caught me unprepared but being married to you… I don't know why I expected any different when I had no control over your reactions in the past twenty years, not even when I might have, but being this close to you and suddenly not being able to read you anymore, it unsettled me." She had grown very still in his arms and he was afraid that he wasn't explaining himself very well. Still, she had demanded honesty and honesty she would get. "I was afraid, Elsie. I've always been a bit of a coward but when you withdrew from me… I didn't know what to do so I stayed away. I thought you might not want me here, I thought you might have realized that retiring with me had been a mistake." He broke off, not capable of exposing himself even more. She still hadn't reacted to his words and it was beginning to worry him in earnest now. He pulled back slightly and was stunned by the tears that were silently trickling down his wife's face.

"Hey now, what's this?" he asked softly as he tenderly wiped at her tears with his left hand, his right arm still cradling her close protectively.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, pressing her face into his side. He put his left arm around her as well as he gently pulled her close, rubbing soothing circles over her back.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, my love. At least nothing that I shouldn't be apologizing for as well. I was too obtuse and too frightened to address our problems and you were too insecure to force me. So either we are both to blame here or no one is." He felt her nod against his shoulder. He continued to hold her until she finally lifted her head again, fixing him with her blue eyes.

"I want you here," she insisted. "I need you here."

He captured her lips in a gentle kiss that was meant to express all those things he couldn't put into words at that moment. When the kiss ended, she put her head onto his chest with a contented sigh, the steady beating of his heart slowly but surely luring her to sleep.

He tugged her head under his chin as he enjoyed the feeling of her warm body in his arms. There was one more topic he knew they needed to address. He needed to take away her fear of what he might expect of her in the bedroom. He wasn't quite sure what it was that had her so apprehensive but he knew that he needed to help her overcome her fears if their marriage was to ever become comfortable.

But not tonight, not when she was nestled against him so snuggly, when her body was already heavy with sleep and when he himself could barely keep his eyes open. He briefly debated whether he should wake her again so they could get under the covers, but then decided against it. He, himself, would make sure that she felt warm and secure and loved.


Your reactions to the last chapter were overwhelmingly lovely once again. I'm truly humbled by your generous and wonderful reviews. I can't tell you how much they mean to me!

That's why I can't wait to hear from you again. Please consider leaving a review if you have the time! Happy Downton Day to those able to "celebrate" it.