Chapter 12: Breaking Down

Bella sighed as she sat in the living room watching as Alice walked in with baby Cynthia. "Tada here she is!" she announced grinning from ear to ear. Cynthia was dressed in white socks with pink flowers and a pink flower printed dress with a white bonnet on her head.

"Alice she has grown since I last saw her," Esme commented smiling as she looked at her granddaughter.

"Bella do you want to hold her? You didn't get much of a chance at the hospital," Alice commented.

"Um…I don't…" Bella started before Cynthia was place in her arms.

The infant was fast asleep with her pacifier in her mouth, her tiny hands curled into fists. Bella stared at the baby in her arms, feeling sick to her stomach all of a sudden. "Um…an you take her? I need to use the bathroom," she insisted. Alice took Cynthia back into her arms before Bella got up and dashed into the nearest bathroom.

Closing and locking the door, Bella leaned against the bathroom counter with a sob. Covering her mouth to muffle the sound, she slid down to the tile floor with tears falling down her face. Just when she felt her life was starting to get back on track little by little, this had to happen. All she wanted was for Edward to pick her up now, she didn't want to face his family with the problem yet. It was too difficult especially with two babies around the house.

Walking out of the bathroom, Bella saw the girls standing there. "Bella…are you okay sweetheart?" Esme asked.

"No…I'm not," she answered through clenched teeth.

She dragged her fingers through her hair. "I'm not okay! Everything's not okay! Everything hasn't been okay for a long time! I'm far from okay!" she exclaimed. She looked over at Alice. "I didn't want to hold her! Didn't you see I didn't want to hold her?!" she spat at Alice. Alice stood there with a shocked expression on her face, not sure what to say to her.

Bella looked over at Rosalie. "I'm so glad that you and Emmett finally have that baby you've been wanting! But you don't need to flaunt it around wherever you go!" she snapped. She started looking around the room. "I am sick and tired of everyone asking if I'm okay! Do I look okay?! Do I sound okay!? Is there any evidence that shows that I'm doing perfectly fine!" she exclaimed.

"Bella…" Esme started holding onto the young woman's arms.

"Don't touch me! Everybody stop touching me! I don't want to be touched!" she exclaimed yanking her arms away.

She let out a sob. "Everything's all messed up and it's all my fault! I'm losing Edward and it's all my fault!" she sobbed.

"What do you mean you're losing Edward? Bella what's happening?" Esme asked concern showing on her face.

"I'm not good for him anymore! I'm nothing! I'm only a regular old human and he used to be a beautiful immortal being! I'm not good for him! I will never be good for him," she sobbed.

"Bella did he hurt you?" Alice asked concern showing on her own face.

"I'm hurting him," Bella sobbed falling to her knees.

Esme kneeled in front of her. "Bella what's going on?" she asked.

"I'm so pathetic I couldn't even carry our baby to term," Bella sobbed.

The entire room was silent except for Bella's sobs. "I lost our baby, I lost it, it just proves how I'm not good for him," she insisted.

"Bella, sweetie," Esme whispered wiping the tears from her daughter-in-law's cheeks.

Bella looked at her crying. "Sweetheart, you miscarried?" she asked.

"Yes," Bella replied lowering her head with a sob.

"Oh Bella sweetie," Esme said quietly hugging her tight.

Holding onto the young woman, Esme rubbed her back gently. "Bella why didn't you tell us?" she asked.

"I didn't want to take the attention from Alice because she deserved it more than me," Bella replied as the tears kept falling.

Alice kneeled down on Bella's right, hugging her best friend tight with tears in her eyes. "Bella if I knew I wouldn't have been shoving Cynthia in your face every five seconds," she told her. Rosalie was on Bella's left hugging her as well.

"Bella we are so sorry," she put in.

Esme hushed the sobbing young woman, stroking her hair. "I'm losing my husband," Bella told them.

"You won't lose him," Rosalie answered.

"I am, I see it everyday. He drifts further and further from me. He comforts me, but it doesn't feel like he loves me as much as he used to. That's all my doing," she sobbed.

All three girls looked at each other, unsure of what to say. "You're not losing Edward, he loves you too much," Rosalie answered.

"I don't know how true that is," she sobbed.

Esme hushed her. "Bella when was the last time you slept sweetheart?" she asked.

"I don't remember," Bella replied.

"Alice…" Esme started.

Alice already had her up off the floor and was leading her upstairs to rest.

At Rosalie and Emmett's house, Edward and Emmett were sparring in the workout room Emmett had built. Carlisle was sitting off to the side talking to Jasper while Emmett and Edward were fighting each other. Edward grabbed a hold of Emmett's arm, throwing him down on the mat. "Hey you're still fighting unfair!" Emmett exclaimed getting back up.

"Shut up and just fight," Edward answered irritably.

Emmett tried to attack Edward around the middle, but he dodged Emmett's attack, punching him in the back. "What's with all the unfair blows here dude?" Emmett demanded holding his side.

"I'm not throwing unfair blows," Edward answered.

Emmett rolled his eyes before they both ended up on the mat. Emmett started getting the upper hand, putting Edward in a chokehold but Edward easily got out of it and kicked him onto his back. "Edward it's just friendly sparring here," Jasper commented getting up when the fight actually started getting out of hand. Emmett let out a growl as he got up off the ground and the friendly fight actually started turning real.

Emmett grabbed a hold of Edward's arm, throwing him onto his back. "Hey guys stop!" Jasper called when Edward wrapped his hands around Emmett's neck. Jasper ran over, pulling Edward off him while Emmett got off the mat coughing.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Emmett exclaimed holding his throat.

Carlisle walked over to check on both boys. "Edward…" Jasper started.

"Get off!" Edward snapped pushing his brother off him.

Realizing that he had just about lost control and nearly strangled Emmett, he left the room.

Carlisle walked out of the workout room to find his son sitting on the ground pulling at the grass. "Edward," he murmured walking over to his son.

"I nearly killed Emmett," Edward answered.

"Emmett's strong, I think you more stunned him than hurt him," Carlisle answered.

Edward twisted his wedding ring around on his finger. "Son what's going on? You have been acting strange since you arrived in Texas," Carlisle commented.

"Its nothing," Edward answered.

"The hell it isn't," Carlisle told him.

Closing his eyes, the newly reformed human let out a deep breath. "Bella and I…have been going through something…horrible," he started.

"What is it son?" his father asked concerned.

"Bella…and I…we lost a baby about…seven months ago," Edward replied.

Carlisle stared at Edward in disbelief. "How could you not say anything?" he asked in shock.

"Bella asked me not to, she didn't want the attention to be taken away from Alice," he replied.

"Edward this is serious, something very serious, you could always come to me no matter what. I thought even after over hundred years you would know that by now," Carlisle commented.

Edward sighed. "I'm losing her, father, I'm losing my wife. I know I am, slowly but surely, she isn't the same woman I fell in love with," he explained. Carlisle shook his head slowly.

"How bad is it Edward?" he asked.

"She cries…all the time. She won't let me touch her anymore than just a hug or a kiss on the forehead. I feel like I try anymore she'll push me away," Edward explained.

"Have you talked about it?" Carlisle asked.

"What is there to talk about? Especially since the miscarriage is my fault," Edward replied.

Staring at his son incredulously, Carlisle made Edward look at him. "How is this your fault?" he asked.

"My genetics are all messed up from being a vampire," he replied.

"No Edward, this isn't your fault," Carlisle insisted.

"It has to be. She's a healthy young woman she should've been able to carry that baby to term. She only couldn't because of me," Edward answered.

"It wasn't your fault," Carlisle persisted.

Edward put his head in his hands. "She lost the baby because of me and I'm losing her," he answered.

"And Edward, she might feel she's losing you too," Jasper put in walking over.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Edward answered standing up.

Jasper sighed looking at Carlisle. "Esme called…Bella broke down sobbing when she saw Cynthia," he informed. Edward felt his heart stop.

"Is she okay?" he asked worriedly.

"She's asleep now," Jasper replied.

Edward closed his eyes. "I have to go to her," he murmured hurrying over to the house.

Running inside, he saw the girls standing there. "Not right now where is she?" he demanded.

"She's up in the guest bedroom…" Alice started.

Edward ran up the stairs and into the guest bedroom.

Walking into the room, he found his wife fast asleep with tears on her face. Crawling into the bed, he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered. Burying his face into her hair, he breathed in her scent as sleep took over him.

Esme walked over to them while they slept and covered them with a quilt. "Carlisle what do we do?" she asked tearfully. Carlisle wrapped his arms around his wife.

"We be there for them as parents should," he replied quietly.