When I woke, hours later, I could still hear my father's laughter coming faintly from the darkest corners of my tent. Despite the blankets covering me, I shivered; my skin pricking with goosebumps. A sharp pain made me gasp and I looked down at my hand. Someone had hastily wrapped a bandage around my palm. I closed my hand into a fist, the pain searing down my arm and throbbing in my elbow.

I had to get out. His laughter was beginning to drive me mad. What a thought, being driven to madness by your own madness. I laughed a loud barking sound that seemed out of place when before the only sound was my father's rasping chuckles.

The sun beat aggressively into my eyes as my pupils dilated, reacting to the change of light. I was relieved to find the picnic area completely deserted; I wanted to be alone with my full heart and my crazy head.

The wood creaked as I eased myself into the bench, using it as a stepping stool so that I could sit on the top. Cradling my hand in my lap, I undid the bandage with shaking fingers. I winced as the bandage stuck a little to the open wound and I had to yank to get it free. As I looked at the angry red gash on my hand the memory came back to me in bits and pieces. I hadn't woken up on my own accord; My father had me pressed into the mattress, his full weight crushing me, his hand over my mouth and nose. His face inches from mine, his cloudy eyes stared into my soul, and he laughed.

"You're… weeeaaaaak." He creaked between his fits of horrible laughter, as I struggled against him, "Just like her… You…even look…like her."

I closed my eyes at the memory, trying to bring back what happened next. I don't know how long I sat like that; ten minutes? An hour? I was startled back into the real world by the sound of advancing footsteps. Startled, I turned around to find Jimmy crossing the field toward me. He had the strangest look on his face and he was walking quickly and determined in my direction.

"Jimmy!" I jumped up, his face was a mask of anguish, desperation, and … fear? "Jimmy, what ha-"

He crossed the space between us in seconds. Without a word Jimmy grasped the back of my head with one hand and slipped the other around my waist. He silenced me by pressing his lips to mine. A fire erupted in my belly when his lips met mine, and if he hadn't been holding me around the waist I would have hit the ground.

Jimmy was holding me gently, but firmly enough that I was reminded of all those nights, all those strange men coming into my room after dark. I whimpered, but Jimmy didn't react, he was like a man possessed. I bit his lip, hard.

"Ow!" He gasped and released his grip. When he did I stepped back, trying to process what had just happened. I stared at him, and he back at me. He raised one of his claws to wipe at his lips. A small trail of blood left a visible path where he had wiped. We were both breathing heavily as though we had just run for miles.

I could still feel where Jimmy's hand had held fast to my waist. I wanted the words, I wanted to tell him that it wasn't him that caused me to retreat, but I couldn't. We just stared at one another.

Every bone in my body wanted me to run, to turn around and run into the line of trees and never come back to Jupiter Florida, but there was something behind Jimmy's eyes that rooted me to the spot.

Slowly, Jimmy took a step forward, like I was a deer he didn't want to startle. In a way that is exactly what I felt like; a deer in the headlights moments before it's crushed to death and left on the side of the road.

His eyes never left my face. He looked so sad as he reached out one of his strange hands and ran his fingertips down my cheek. I had never been touched like that in my life. I had never been touched by a man in a way that didn't hurt. Not since I was a real girl anyway. I closed my eyes at his touch, and slowly raised my hand to cover his with my own; I noticed my fingers were shaking. When I opened my eyes Jimmy was looking at my lips, something like fear coloring the sadness in his eyes.

I closed the gap between us and tipped my face to his, like a daisy greeting the sun after a storm. I heard Jimmy take a shaky breath and raised my other hand to his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I felt like a bomb; fragile and dangerous.

This time when our lips met, I was ready for it. He started slowly, as though waiting for me to pull away. When I didn't he got bolder, the question left his kiss and was replaced with only need - from both of us. Without breaking the kiss Jimmy lifted me off of my feet and set me on the top of the table again. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him around me like a shell.

I let his warmth seep into my skin and chase away the chill that seemed to have settled in after I arrived at camp and was never able to shake. He smelled like sweat and cigarettes.

His strange hands lifted the hem of my dress and he ran his fingers along the smooth flesh of my thighs, causing goosebumps to rise along my arms. I could feel his breath on my ear and his desperate want of me radiating off of him in waves.

For the first time since my mother's suicide, I felt beautiful, wanted and loved. For the first time since I could remember I felt safe.

I ran my fingers along his jaw bone and up into his hair. I could feel Jimmy shiver under my touch. I smiled into his kiss and could feel a smile stretching across his own mouth.

"I didn't know how badly I wanted this until now." He whispered his mouth close to my ear. I closed my eyes tight. I didn't want to hear him talk about this. I pressed my lips to Jimmy's again to silence him and to silence my own racing mind.

In one fluid movement Jimmy lifted me off of the picnic table and cradled me in his arms. In that moment I let myself be weightless and lost myself in the curve of Jimmy's jawbone as he carried me into his trailer.

After he laid me down on the bed, he took his time undressing me, letting his fingers trace the topography of each tattoo that he discovered.

I realized how much I loved how the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled, and also how rarely I had seen it until now.

"Why do you look so sad?" Jimmy asked in a voice that was barely a whisper. His face was a gentle mask of concern as he reached out and wiped a tear that hadn't realized had fallen.

I opened my mouth and I almost told him. I almost told him everything; every awful secret, every deep seeded fear. In the end, though, I couldn't do it. I just kept opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. Jimmy took my silence as its own answer and tucked his head into the crook between my neck and my shoulder, tracing tiny kisses along my neck and up to my jaw. He placed his mouth on mine and swallowed my moan of pleasure as he opened my legs.

/

The sunlight streaming through Jimmy's bedroom window beating against my closed eyelids woke me the next morning. Frozen, I listened to the clock on the wall as it clicked seconds away. I turned slowly toward Jimmy's sleeping form; he was on his stomach, one arm under the pillow the other next to him. The blanket covered his lower half, leaving his upper body beautifully exposed in the sunlight. His hair was tousled and his face was relaxed. My heart twisted painfully. I reached up to rub my eyes and pulled my fingertips back wet.

Every muscle in my body screamed at me to lie back down, curl my body around Jimmy's and stay there forever. But I knew that wasn't in the cards for me. My limbs felt wooden, heavy, as I stood slowly; being careful not to wake Jimmy. I was a horrible, selfish girl for doing what I did. Jimmy deserved so much better than me; a liar, a whore, a murderer.

My father's voice growled at me in my head, "Remember all those nights, all those men. What you just did wasn't special, it was disgusting! You gave him what my friends already got."

Through blurry eyes I located my dress, long cast away on the floor. I let myself out through the torn screen door, thankful for the early hours. Everyone else was in their tents, sleeping off the effects of a night spent drinking. No one could see me unraveling.

I had a chance last night to do the right thing, but I was weak and I took what didn't belong to me. I didn't know what it was about Jimmy that made me want to show him all of my broken pieces, but I had to kill that part of me. Jimmy deserved a chance at a real life with a real girl.

I stepped into my tent, my father's laughter echoing in the early morning light. My mirror still lay on its side spider webs of splinters creating multiple reflections of my face.

I pressed my fingertips into my cheek bones. I bet if I rammed my face into the hard ground below my feet I could fracture every bone in my face. I pictured rearranging my features like a jigsaw puzzle and making myself someone new; not Elizabeth, not Bridget, someone Jimmy deserved. My fingers drifted down my pointed chin to the hollow at the base of my throat. I reached out blindly for the piece of glass that I had used to shred my mother's white dress. My blood was still dried on the edges. I pressed the point of it into that hollow at the base of my throat and pushed. I tiny trickle of blood dripped down my neck.

I screamed and threw the glass shard across my tent. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to be my mother, but I didn't want to be me either. And who was I, anyway if not Elizabeth Cooley or Bridget Cooper.

When my father skulked out of the shadows and curled himself around my back laughing his rotten breath into my face he didn't bring up what did or didn't happen that night with the fire, and neither did I.

A/N:

WOAH! Hi there! Yes! I finally updated! I don't even have an excuse other than that the show ended and left me kind of reeling and without inspiration. I mean WHAT EVEN WAS THAT FINALE!
In light of that, this story is kind of hanging in the balance. I haven't decided if I am going to follow their story or go off on my own a little more. I am also considering re-writes of all my previous chapters for Red Letter Day, so…if anyone is or knows a Beta Reader I am in the market *Wink Wink Nudge Nudge*

Anyway! I hope you all liked the new chapter!

Please review/follow/fave and have a lovely day!

xoxoxo