Fighting For Him

Chapter 12: Christmas

I woke up my head pounding, my eyes dry and sore and in an unfamiliar room than what I had been used too. I let out a soft groan closing my eyes. I didn't really remember what all happened but I did remember fighting with Shane then driving to Amy's, so that's where I was, I was guessing.

I turn around and see Amy lying beside me. "Amy" I whisper quietly and her eyes slowly open.

"Mitch, you're awake" She says smiling giving me a big hug.

"Yeah I am." I say giving her a small hug after wincing a little, my body ached.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess, my head really hurts, do you have any Advil?" I asked and she nodded.

"Sure" She said crawling out of her bed and heading to her bathroom. She came back with a small glass of water and an Advil. I sat up slowly and took it. I was hoping it would kick in soon.

"Amy, I remember fighting with Shane and driving here but I don't remember anything else. What happened?" I asked and she lets out a sigh sitting back beside me on her bed. Her room was familiar and thankfully I felt comfortable within it.

"You collapsed to your knees and Bryan ran out wrapping his arms around you and you just fell limp. You were unconscious for about 5 minutes but then came back around. We kept you up for about an hour before we let you go back to sleep, after we calmed you down."

"I went unconscious?" I asked a little scared.

"Yeah you did, but we just set a washcloth around your face and you were still breathing, we just think you had a panic attack but you seemed better. You probably don't remember being awake, but you seem better." She said and I smiled.

"Thank you; sorry for worrying you and just coming but I couldn't stay there." I said sighing still upset about the fight.

"It's okay you are my sister and are always welcome, my parents are happy you are joining us for the holidays." She said and I smiled weakly.

"Thank you, what time is it? Did Bryan go home?" I asked leaning against the headboard the Advil slowly starting to kick in.

"Its 6am, you have been asleep for a while we decided you needed it. Bryan is in the guest room and the girls said they would come by around 10 for a few minutes just too see you."

"You guys don't need to revolve around me, its Christmas be with your families and such." I said feeling slightly bad.

"You are a part of our family. Bryan is staying anyway, but he and I are going to his house for Christmas dinner, you are welcome to join if you want and the girls just want to make sure you are, for a lack of better words, okay." She said and I smiled.

"Thank you and everything but I will probably just stay here."

"We can decide later okay?"

"Okay, but Amy you should get some more sleep and I can just lay around or something." I said and she smiled.

"I've been sleeping almost as long as you I am fine, is there anything you want to do today, have a shower anything?" She asked and I sigh.

"I should have a shower and get dressed, I however would love to watch chick flicks and eat ice cream but I am sure Bryan would rather not." I said and she giggled.

"He will suck it up, tomorrow is about family some of today is about you, we are good and don't feel bad about it. "She said sternly. "There are towels and stuff in my bathroom, you can go ahead and have a shower"

"Okay I will be back soon and Amy I love you" I said smiling weakly.

"I love you too, now go freshen up" She said grabbing a book and started reading. I was happy I had friends like them as they would get me through the next couple of days. I really needed them as much as possible and I was so thankful for Amy letting me be here for Christmas.

It was now about 9:00 and we were sitting in the basement on the couches. I had showered and got dressed in sweats not feeling like wearing anything else. Amy got showered as well and we met Bryan down here about 20 minutes ago. He gave me a big bear hug and I was very thankful for that.

We were just talking, well Amy and Bryan where trying to include me but I didn't talk much. I wasn't myself right now and they knew that I just wanted to be alone but that was never going to happen so I took it as comfortable as I could. I knew I could cry in front of my friends and it helped to know that.

It was 10 when the other girls finally arrive with pints of ice cream and said they were ready for a few hours of girl therapy. As much as I knew he didn't want to Bryan said he would stay for a while unless he felt way to masculine to be watching them. He made me chuckle a little but it wasn't a full-hearted laugh.

We put on the movies, Bryan between me and Amy. Amy was cuddled into his side his one arm tightly wrapped around her. His other arm was casually draped across my shoulder as my head was leaning against his shoulder, he was my brother and I was happy Amy was okay with that.

It was half-way through our second movie around noon when his phone started ringing and it was like a fire-alarm it made me jump and he apologized. "Sorry this is important." He said and Amy nodded as he left the room and we continued watching the proposal which I was crying at. It was a happy and sad movie, it made you cry from laughing and from sadness and I didn't know but I was constantly crying and the girls let me, I didn't know how I still had tears, but I did and I needed them out.

"Hey ladies, I am sorry but I am going to have to go but I will be back tonight okay?" he said walking over as Amy gave him a hug. I watched them exchange knowing looks as he nodded. I knew instantly it was Shane. I shook a little hugging my knees to my chest.

"We'll be okay here, call me and let me know" I heard Amy and he nodded.

"Will do and Mitch I will be back" He said kissing my forehead as I let myself cry nodding as I heard him head up the stairs.

I was worried about Shane now, my whole world revolved at him and I knew someday, somehow, soon I would have to figure out how to fix that problem, because it wouldn't be helping me.

(A/N: so this part is going to be a little back and forth between Shane and Mitchie. I am going to go to Shane and Christmas then back to Mitchie and her Christmas. We need to see Shane's part as it explains how he sees him doing this for Mitchie.)

SHANE'S Point of View

It had to be morning now as I watched the sun go and come back. I haven't left my bed since my dad helped me get there sometime yesterday as I broke down on the stairs. I don't remember coming up here but I was awake so nothing bad probably happened. I hadn't slept much just laying on my bed staring at the ceiling and out the window at random points.

My whole body hurts and I just didn't fell like doing anything. My eyes are so sore but no matter what tears don't stop falling down my face. I don't understand how it went that far, but I knew I had my reasons for it and as much as I love her loves let go and as much as I told her I blamed her I knew it wasn't just her. It was never her to begin with, I did get a girlfriend but to heal the pain just to cause her more, nothing I did seemed right to anyone else but me.

I had spent almost all night in my dad's arms and it helped. My mom took some shifts too but I just needed to cry and as childish as it was to be in my parents arms it's all that made me feel safe, the way Mitchie did once and here comes more waterworks. Would this ever end?

I heard the doorbell ring and groaned burying my head in my pillows. It was Christmas Eve one of the happiest days of the year and I was here crying because of so many things that went wrong, because of me, I was hoping I didn't ruin Christmas for my mom. That would make me feel worse. Who was here though, please no-one come see me.

My throat being dry I turned over and grabbed the bottle of water on my bedside table my eye catching her broken necklace. The one she tore of her neck. I took a deep breath taking a sip of water before a sob escaped my lips. "Please Mitchie just understand… somehow" I say to the ceiling. She didn't need to understand why I had a girlfriend but for her live her dream, for the man she fell in love with, who is still here, that I hid from her, she needed to think I didn't love her.

"He's upstairs and thank you. I didn't know anyone else that would get him to talk" I heard my mom say and I sighed and continued laying still.

It was maybe a minute later when the door opened. I didn't turn to look I just took a shaky breath. "Hey man, it's me and Bryan can we come in?" I heard Josh say and I just shrugged. My best friends meant a lot to me maybe if I could get it out they could understand why I did what I did.

"Hey" Bryan said and I soon felt the bed shift as they both sat down beside me.

"Hi…" I whispered running my hand along my cheeks. I hated showing vulnerability; Mitchie was the only person I had ever really shown. Now my best friends and my parents were seeing me at my worst, I almost felt embarrassed.

"Shane it's okay, we are your best friends, and you would be there for us if we were crying on our beds, we just want to do whatever we can to help, you can tell us what happened, if that will help, we are just worried." Bryan said comforting and I sighed. The best brothers I could ask for.

"We have all day for you man, we will do our best"

"It had to happen, but the realisation of never being in her life again hit me… and just I lost her, she's gone, forever" I say letting the tears fall. I was sure Bryan knew what happened as I knew he was staying at Amy's and I was positive Mitchie was there.

"Man I know you love her, you still do so why did you tell her otherwise" Bryan said softly.

"Shane you shouldn't have told her that, you know she still loves you, can't you try your best to work it out maybe forgiveness can happen?" Josh asked and I shook my head.

"She is going on tour and I would never stop her because I want her to go more than I should. She deserves to live her dream and I don't want to hold her back."

"You wouldn't be holding her back."

"The whole time in New York she was hurting because of us, because of me and how much she loved me. So I hid what I felt trying to let her be the dancer she is and she was amazing but I could see it was still hard. So I won't let her see the man she fell in love." I said trying not to choke. "She said she missed him and that I wasn't him. I needed her to see that."

"I don't understand why you wanted her to see that"

"To not hold her back well she is on tour. To have fun and be Mitchie Torres the amazing woman I fell in love with because she is still her. She never hides and I knew she wouldn't. She needs to think I don't care so she won't want to miss me, because I'm not the man she loves, and it's hurting her I understand, and you both see how I am but in the long run for her its better. Me, I will do what I can, I will never forget but for her, I will do my best to live my dream, because who I am hiding promised her that, just it's the hardest thing I have done and to see the look on her face, I died inside." I said tears falling down and I covered my face with my hands as sobs started escaping me.

By the silence I knew they understood where I was coming from. I was doing what I could to help her live her dream without having me there, in the back of her mind. She didn't deserve that, nothing should hold her back or always be there, especially me, I wasn't worthy of her missing me anyway, not after what I did, I knew it was wrong but for her it was so much better, I knew that, full heartily.

"Shane we are here to help however we can, with your dream and baseball and if ever you need to talk about this, about her don't be afraid to show us okay, we are your best friends and we are here if you ever need us." Josh spoke and I nodded.

"Thanks" I said nodding finally removing my hands from my face. It was okay having them here but I needed to try to get some sleep for tomorrow it was Christmas and they had to be with their families. I wanted to be alone for a few hours, I just needed the space. I was happy they came, though. "I am thankful you guys came and thanks for letting me explain and I hope in some way you can understand why I did what I did. If you both don't mind though I want to get some sleep, you both go and be with your families for Christmas and I will text you I promise, I just need a little while."

"Okay if you need anything don't think twice about calling either of us." Bryan said and Josh agreed.

"I could use one thing, the peace of mind… Bryan?" I asked and he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"She is there and she will be okay we will make sure of it, just as you will be okay" He said and I nodded.

"Thank you for looking after her, and me" I said and Bryan nodded.

"Always Shane, get some rest okay?"

"Yeah you need some sleep" Josh said and I nodded.

"I will do my best, thanks guys, I will talk to you later" I said and they both nodded. I watched as they left my room and closed the door.

Tears were still pouring from my eyes and I would be crying myself to sleep but I didn't know if I could sleep. It pained me to know what I would need to do to help me try to fall asleep. I got out my iPod and placed it on my dock. I turned it on, the volume quiet, and pressed play on our playlist.

Sparks Fly, Worldwide and the newest song I added, all your life, showing just how much of an idiot I was, how she once thought of me and I couldn't let her anymore, ran through my ears before I felt my body slip into a restless sleep.

I woke up and looked at my bedside clock seeing it was 5:30am. It was Christmas. I heard rain falling on the roof and it was the closest we got to snow around this time of year. If you couldn't have a white Christmas, wet was the second best, in California anyway.

My head hurt and I knew I was finally running out of sugar in my body. I took my time standing up and walking to my bathroom. I wanted to cheer up and put on a front for my parents today and I would do my best. I turned on the hot water and stripped off my two-day old clothes and stepped into the water letting it run down my body.

I showered got dressed and just sat on my bed watching the rain fall having a little meltdown remembering how much the rain had once met to me but calmed down. I just came downstairs and it was 7:00.

I smelt the coffee and knew my parents were up. We always had a cup of coffee or whatever else we wanted to drink in the morning of Christmas, opened are gifts and then we had a big breakfast and I did the dishes as my mom started diner, and that would be no different today, I would not let Christmas be different because of what I was going through.

I got a mug of coffee hoping it would help saying good morning to my parents as they smiled whishing me a merry Christmas and I smile saying it back. We made our way to the couches and my mom turned on the Christmas tree lights. Soon we started opening the stockings then we would start of the presents.

I had thought we had been all done when my dad pulled out one more box from the tree. There were others but they were for Mitchie. It hurt looking at them but my dad passed me the box. I looked at the tag and it was from Mitchie. I took a deep breath and started unwrapping it. My dad and my mom had got amazing gifts from Mitchie and I was hoping she didn't give me a lot, I got her a nice gift but I didn't deserve one.

I opened it to see a thick somewhat flat white box. I undid the tape and opened it putting the lid aside a gasp escaping my lips. At first glance it was a Yankee jersey with signatures then paper caught my eyes. I picked it up and read it. It was certificates of authenticity. It was a game worn Jersey of my favorite player from last season. It had a visible grass stain on the sleeve but was guaranteed it had been cleaned, but the stain wouldn't come out, it made it even better thought. It was hand signed by the whole team and my heart swelled with even more love for her as tears came to my eyes. It was the most incredible gift I have probably ever received and I didn't deserve it, not one bit and that's what hurt the most.

My parents started picking up the wrapping paper tossing it into the garbage bag giving me a minute. I put the box aside then helped clean up. We were just heading to the kitchen when I saw my mom look at the tree. A small pile of presents there that belongs to Mitchie, she should've been here, my parents wanted her and I felt bad for being the reason why she left, I should've at least waited until after Christmas and maybe have found a better way to do so.

"Mom" I said quietly "I am sorry she's not here" I said walking over to my mom and we shared a hug.

"Shane it's okay. I have my family here it's all the matters. I know why what happened, happened and its okay I will make sure she gets them but let's have a good rest of Christmas okay, us three as our family." She said putting a smile on her face and I nodded.

"Okay, sounds like a plan" I said putting a somewhat genuine smile on my face and us with my dad made our way to the kitchen to continue our Christmas breakfast then the rest of the day.

It was soon night time and I had just sat down with my parents for dinner. We said grace as we always did for Christmas and Easter as well. We had friendly Christmas chatter well we enjoyed the amazing turkey dinner my mom had prepared for us.

It was absolutely delicious then we had homemade cherry cheesecake and fruit cake for dessert which was also fully delicious and I ate lots of it. I was so full by the end of it, full and completely worn out from the day. I was ready to crawl into bed and get some sleep that I knew my body was asking for.

I collected my gifts and brought them up into my room. I placed my box with the Jersey carefully in my closet on a shelf. I would need to do something with it soon, maybe display it in my room. It would look amazing on my wall. I wouldn't take it to school it was too priceless for that, and showed how much Mitchie knew me.

I changed into plaid pyjama pants then made my way downstairs. I got a glass of water and went to the living room where my parents were cuddling on the couch and watching Christmas specials, which they usually did Christmas night.

"Mom, dad I am tired and going to head to bed but I will see you both in the morning" I said and they nodded.

"Merry Christmas sweetie, goodnight" My mom said and I smiled.

"Good night mom, Merry Christmas.

"Get some sleep Shane, merry Christmas" My dad said and I nodded.

"I will merry Christmas dad" I said smiling then made my way back upstairs and into my bed.

A few short months ago, if it was Christmas it would've been my first with Mitchie and yet that never happened. I was happy we still had the chance to exchange presents well sort of she would get hers, my mom would make sure of it. I let the tears start to fall as I closed my eyes and let myself once again think of her and trying to convince myself I did the best I could for her as my body drifted into a sleep, I was hoping would let me feel rested.

It was the next day and I just finished making something on my computer. I made a CD video I had started on Christmas Eve after a phone call and finally finished it. I looked horrible but I didn't care. I quickly burnt it and popped it into the CD case.

I ran downstairs just to see my mom placing all of Mitchie's presents into a box, perfect timing.

"Hi mom" I said and she smiled.

"Hi Shane, do you mind if I just bring these gifts to Mitchie, I will be back in an hour I just believe she still deserves these" She said and I nodded.

"I don't mind at all mom, I actually have one more thing for her" I said holding up the CD case and a card I had typed up and signed.

"Okay" She said smiling and I walked over placing them inside of the big gift bag I had placed her gift inside.

"There, thank you mom" I said and she nodded.

"Anytime dear" She said and I smile kissing her cheek as she gave me a quick hug then left the house carrying the box with Mitchie's gifts. I hope she would watch the video, she needed to see it, and it was the final thing I needed to say.

(A/N) Back to Mitchie and Christmas Eve now)

It was just after six when I was gently shaken awake Amy. I had fallen asleep on the couch watching movies. She told me dinner was ready and I joined her, Bryan and her parents for dinner. They were having a Christmas dinner as Amy and Bryan wouldn't be there tomorrow night. Bryan had invited me but I think I was just going to stay here and maybe call my parents or just have time to myself. I had lots of time to cry with my friends today and will be with them for most of the day tomorrow, I needed the time to let it out alone and even though I shouldn't on Christmas I knew either way it would happen by the end of tomorrow.

The dinner was amazing, Turkey with all the fixings and it tasted absolutely incredible. I hadn't had a dinner like this, well since thanksgiving, but at Christmas time, in probably 2 years. Thanksgiving just made me think of Shane and Anna and Paul and I didn't want to revisit those thoughts right now.

After dinner Amy, Bryan and I did the dishes since her parents had made the dinner, it was just fair. After we all made our way back downstairs and put on How the Grinch stole Christmas and watched it. It was the one with Jim Carrey and I was actually happy and laughing at the hilarity which was the movie.

When it was over we all made our way upstairs and got ready for bed. I went into the guest room as I knew Amy and Bryan wanted to be together and I didn't want to take up Amy's bed when Bryan was the other option. She thanked me and I nodded happily. I crawled into the bed laying my head against the pillow.

I was excited for tomorrow and I had brought all the presents for my friends here and all but Bryan and Amy had taken them home earlier. I had bought things for her parents as well so I was happy about that. I turn off the bed side lamp and stare at the ceiling. I finally closed my eyes and willed myself to think of happy Christmas thoughts as I drifted to sleep.

I woke up to Christmas music coming from my phone. I had set it up as an alarm on Christmas day for 7:30. It wasn't too early or too late. I was hoping Amy and Bryan had a good night last night sharing her bed, I was glad they didn't mind me being here.

I stayed in my pyjama pants but slipped on a bra under my tank to make me more presentable. I felt more comfortable around others with a bra on, I think that makes sense. I brushed out my messy hair then tied it up. I washed my face then made my way downstairs into the living room where there tree was gorgeous with a pile of presents.

Amy's parents were curled up together on a couch the tree lit up and it was an amazing Christmas outside. The window showed the pattern of rain that splashed across it falling from the sky. The closest to a white Christmas we got, I would take it, plus no matter what, I did truly love the rain.

Soon Bryan came down in plaid pyjama pants and a white wife beater. He smiled and sat beside me giving me a hug. "Hey sis" He said smiling and I smiled.

"Merry Christmas bro, will Amy be joining us?" I said questionably and he laughed.

"Yeah, she wanted a quick shower she should be down soon then we can let the Christmas festivities begin!" He said in a loud little kid voice and I laughed.

"You are such a little kid on Christmas I love it" I said and he smiled

"Joan do you have any coffee ready or I can make a pot maybe?" he asked Amy's mom and she smiled. Bryan was perfect for this family and I was so glad he got with Amy. I could see them having a happily ever after.

"I haven't made one but that would be great, if you don't mind Bryan." She said smiling.

"Not at all, everyone want one?" He asked.

"Definitely" I said smiling and he nodded as her mom and dad agreed as he made his way to the kitchen to put on the coffee.

It was 10 minutes later Amy and Bryan had joined me back on the second couch and we all had a mug of coffee we were sipping, quickly waking us up as we start handing out and opening presents, one of the best parts of Christmas, other than being with your loved ones.

I had got Amy's parents gift certificates to go for dinner and it wasn't a lot but they thanked me for it anyway and I was happy they would enjoy a nice dinner out at the two restaurants I chose. I had got Bryan and Amy a gift card for the movies and dinner. I then got Bryan some American eagle boxers and a sweater that Amy said he needed badly which made me laugh at her but he did like them and gave me a big hug for it. For Amy I got her a pair of the dance pants I got from my favorite dance store here in Anaheim, she had always wanted one but had never bought one herself, so now she had one. I made her a photo album of photos from New York and the summer as I had for all the girls. I then bought her two cross trainer sport bras in her favorite colours from Under Armour, I always believed in very useful gifts, and hoped they understood the thought. She smiled giving me a hug and smiled looking through the book.

I was surprised to have five gifts under the tree. I didn't expect that at all. The first gift was from the parents and it was my favorite perfume that I knew they got the name of from Amy. It was Wonderstruck by Taylor Swift and perfect timing because I needed a new bottle so I could have it for tour. I then opened a gift from Josh and Mandy who went away with Mandy's parents for the holidays so we wouldn't get to see them. I was happy it was here for sure. They had got me iTunes gift cards which were always helpful as I could never have too much music it was an addiction, for sure, being a dancer and all. I then opened up a small box and I saw a gorgeous pair of earrings that had a pair of dance shoes hanging from them and they were gorgeous, I would definitely be wearing them, they were perfect.

I then opened up a gift from Bryan and it was gift card to Jimmy Cho shoes that would definitely be used. He then put together a small basket full of my favorite chocolates and candy and stuff, a care package for Los Angeles and it was amazing, it was just what I needed and I gave him a huge hug thanking him. The next gift was a small one from Amy which opened that held a charm bracelet. It had 4 charms on it. There was three letters, A, L and K for my girls and then a music note.

"We all have one with corresponding letters, well they will when the open them and I want you to get charms from the different places you travel too whenever you can" She said and I smiled promising her giving her a huge hug.

"I promise for sure" She said smiling then Bryan handed me one more slightly heavier box.

"What is this?" I said curious.

"This if from me, the girls, and Alex" Amy said and I nodded opening gasping a little. It was a high up model portable camcorder.

"Guys really, you didn't have to." I said in awe.

"Don't be silly, we want you to capture your experience, and weekly video uploads and pictures, promise that and it is all yours, well I would let you keep it anyway" She said and I laughed giving her another quick hug.

"It is perfect and I promise I will keep in touch, thank you so much" I said happily, this was insane my friends were definitely way too good to me.

We then had an amazing breakfast and Amy and Bryan soon headed to his house for their Christmas and I was happy to stay here and have a bit of alone time to myself, I needed it. I left around 4:30 and drove downtown Anaheim finding a pizza place open and picking one up to have. I felt ridiculous but it's what I was craving. Lame Christmas dinner but I had an amazing one yesterday.

It is 8:00 and I am in bed watching movies on my iPhone letting my tears fall. The pizza was amazing and so was the ice cream that I indulged in after the fact. I called my parents and had a really good talk with my dad. Surprisingly I even had a civil conversation with my mom. I was happy I got to talk to them on Christmas.

I lay here watching a Cinderella story letting all the cute and sad moments touch me as I let myself be surrounded by the darkness of the room letting myself cry, have my time alone, I could do nothing else and right now it was the best I could do to let it out and even though I probably seemed like a wreck I felt better as my tears fell down my cheeks.

It is 9:00 and I just got downstairs at Amy's place. Her and Bryan weren't coming back until later so I was just going to hang around today. It was the day after Christmas. I was feeling okay, I was not going to be 100% for a while but it was better and I was really enjoying what I could of the holidays.

I just sat down on the couch with a glass of orange juice when the doorbell rang. I believe Amy's parents are still asleep so I get up and walk over to the door answering it. I am immediately in awe and have tears coming to my eyes with a huge smile.

"Anna oh my god" I said immediately inviting her in. She sets down this huge box and I give her a huge hug. "I am so glad you stopped by" I said and she smiled.

"I had to drop off your gifts and I missed you last night I am sorry you weren't there" She said and I nodded.

"Me too, I really wanted to but it was just better I wasn't. I am really sorry but I hope you can understand. It's too hard and just it's better this way." I said and she nodded.

"I understand Mitchie you don't have to explain it's okay. I just wanted to drop off your gifts and tell you that me and Paul will be waiting for those tickets in the mail" She said smiling teasingly and I smile laughing.

"For sure you will get them don't you worry. Thank you for the gifts." She said smiling.

"Come on how about I come in and we can see what you got" She said and I smiled. I was sure Amy's parents wouldn't mind.

"Of course come on in, I'd love to" I said and I helped her with the box and the other parcel she grabbed quickly and walked into the living room. What did they get me that was so big? I didn't care it was always the thought but it looked amazing. "I don't know which one first" I said giggling.

"Open this one" She said pointing to the separate parcel and I nodded opening it revealing a brand new big suitcase which would be perfect for tour. It was really big and would hold a lot. It was perfect and it meant a lot coming from someone who was like my mother. "I was going to get you a classic black one but a figured this would be more fun and easy to tell apart if you fly anyway or such" She said and I smiled.

It was covered in coloured bubbles and it looked so cool. I was in love with it. It was funny how excited I could get over luggage, but still the thought was amazing and it being covered in bubble fit my usual bubbly personality. I was hoping it would be back eventually.

"Thank you Anna this is incredible you really didn't have to." I said hugging her and she smiled.

"Don't be silly me and Paul know you deserve it. Now open the other few that aren't in the big bag." She said and I nodded.

I opened up the few packages. There were gift cards for Gucci and coach and then iTunes and some other clothing stores I could get new clothes at. There was a gorgeous pair of Versage sunglasses that I would treasure. She put me together a care package with some travel size beauty products, razor, and feminine products, those were always handy. I was taken away, they spoiled me and I was happy.

"Anna this is way too much. I am so grateful for everything you and Paul have done, I can't believe it. I cannot thank you enough." I said hugging her some tears in my eyes. She hugged me back.

"You never have to thank us for this. Mitchie you have been a daughter I've never had and I know it didn't work with you and Shane but that would never change how we feel about you, he knows that and you deserve all this. We are so proud of you as if you were our own so don't ever feel the need to thank us, just make us proud, as you already have and you will forever be with us." She said us both crying. She was amazing, I know she was Shane's mom and it was true when I told him he had brought me the best family I could ever think off, some of the best families, as proven aren't the blood related ones.

"Always" I said smiling as we hugged for a few more minutes. I wiped my face then reached for the huge bag that was sitting in the box. It was huge what was it? Anna's hand gently caught my wrist.

"Mitchie, I think you should open that in private when you are alone, just in case" She said and I nodded silently. I knew instantly it was Shane's. "Just open the card first" She said and I nodded.

"Okay I will and thank you again for coming, this made Christmas that much better." I said smiling.

"I should get going back but you are very welcome and everything will be okay and get better I promise" She said and I fully believed her.

"Yeah Amy and Bryan will be back soon, again thank you." I said as we walked to the door.

"You can stop saying thank you." She said laughing and I smiled again. "Have an amazing time congratulations Mitchie."

"I will thanks" I said and she smiled as we both let out a soft laugh hugging each other one more time. I watched as she got into car her and left. The day was still cloudy but it looked like the sun was starting to come out and in my life it felt like my good mood was pushing its way out as well.

It's 9:00 at night and I just locked myself into the bedroom. I was going to open Shane's present and I took Anna's advice and I would be alone. I was curious what he got me but I had a feeling I was going to cry. I curled up in bed the present beside me and took out the card opening it.

Mitch,

This is for you and I hope you open and enjoy the contents. There is a video on a cd in there and please watch it, but please do so last. I am so proud of you always; you don't need it but good luck and congratulations on the tour.

Love the man you fell in love with AND

Shane Gray

I closed the card lying in on the bed tears already in my eyes from everything he said and the familiarity of his sloppy adorable hand writing, it made me smile sadly. I took a deep breath and removed the tissue paper pulling out my gift. It was a duffle bag that I could use for dance clothes and such. I needed a new one. It had the word DANCER in graffiti letter all over it in red and it was positively gorgeous. It was obvious there was stuff in it and I unzipped it slowly not knowing what to expect.

I pulled out a package of the only hair elastics I would use, he had remembered and I had needed more. He had typed up and laminated a copy of our valedictorian speech that we came up with together and tears streamed down my cheeks as I loved it. All these amazing memories and as sad as it was it's what I needed and I would hold them dearly. I pulled out a teddy bear with a Julliard sweater on it and it was adorable. There was one more thing and I pulled it out. It was a hat. It was the white ones with the flat front and the black mesh like my party rock one that I gave to Shane. It had M on the one side and T on the other with a star and heart as the other one but in purples, red, and blues. It was the word on the front that really got to me. It was UNBROKEN and I sat there holding it crying for a few minutes. God this was incredible and amazing and it would all be on tour with me but if possible it might have made me miss him more. I put everything to the side and remembered there was a CD. I looked in the bag and it was sitting at the bottom. I got it and placed the bag on the floor pulling my laptop onto the bed and opening it up.

I placed the cd in my disk drive and took a deep breath pushing it back in and pressing play. The first think came up and I wanted to cry. There sat Shane on his bed looking defeated and tortured it was so hard. I don't know what it was but he was the most gorgeous guy in the world and for some reason him looking destroyed, defeated and tortured made him that much more attractive and so hot, my heart melted.

I hugged my knees to my chest and looked at the screen with tears filling up my eyes watching the tortured gorgeous man as soon his honey voice filled the room.

"Hey Mitchie, I hope you will listen and watch this. I hope you like your gift as I know you can always use the bag and the elastics and I know you love teddy bears and will remind you of Julliard, your time there and all your friends still there, you will forever be cheering you on as well as the ones here." His voice sounded and it was sad and I could tell he was a little choked up. "Now the hat, I hope you like it. I know how much you loved your party rock one which I still have and is my favorite one I own and will be forever. You are the strongest person I know" He said and tears start down his cheeks. "I know you might feel broken but will fight and I know no matter what you will become unbroken and be the strongest person I knew and even more so. Also you are on the unbroken tour so I thought it would work. The speech was something I never would have thought of alone and I was so happy we wrote it together. It held a lot of memories and I have a copy so it can be the one thing we will always have together." He said pausing a moment as he took a shaky breath tears falling down his face. "Thank you so much for the jersey it was the most amazing gift I could ever think off receiving. Thank you for caring so much about me and my passion you have no idea how touched I was when I opened it. I know it's hard and one day I hope you understand why it came out this way. I have a message from the guy you fell in love with. The necklace, if you are ever ready and willing to wear it again, it will always be yours, yours will be the only neck it belongs on, forever." He said and I watch him as he lets out a sob completely destroyed, how I was feeling now. "We always said we lived for the moments, and we still do, and I want you to live your moments. The moments I am about to show you, and the many more you will have. We lived many together but now it's your turn to live them alone. Live for the moments Mitchie, for no-one else, just you. I am so proud to have known you and got to love you and how you are amazing at your craft and forever will be. Congratulations on your tour, you deserve it more than anyone and you will own it. I will never forget the time and Smitchie moments we shared but it times to go on our own ways now. Dance and baseball our worlds, you don't need it but good luck. We have said it before and it's not any easier, but this has to be the final time, so Mitchie for the final time, I love you and goodbye." He said and I broke into sobs as did he before the screen went black and the song moments came on for about 30 seconds as I tried to settle down before watching the rest.

I slowly took a deep breath and started watching. He put together a video of footage from my dances and music videos and I couldn't believe how much work he had put into this, all the shinning and breath taking moments playing on the screen in front of me. He said good bye, he doesn't love me anymore, and he also confuses me and told me to live for my moments.

I watch all the moments play through the video taking my breath away. I sigh rewinding it and playing it all over again. Countless times as I cried hugging my knees tightly to my chest my laptop still on my bed tears falling in steady streams but I couldn't stop watching. I knew he was right. He didn't want me to miss him so I can't I shouldn't and now I won't. I was going to live each moment, in each day, to the fullest. I was leaving all this behind and starting tomorrow there was no Shane with me, it is for me, for my moments, and the life I was meant to have. I spent my time crying and I will tonight and then tomorrow it all starts over. He will always have a place in my heart, but now it's time to lock it up, throw away the key and not miss him and I will do it, because that's what he wants and I will grant his last wish of me. I look at the screen as it still plays, for you Shane I am moving on. I whisper curling into a ball pulling my laptop within my sight and watch it letting the final tears shed for what, beginning tomorrow, will be forgotten. It will never truly be gone, but forgotten and locked away, just how I knew it now had to be.

A/N: So as heartbreaking as it was that is the end of Christmas. Is Mitchie making a good decision letting Shane have his goodbye? It is what he truly wants, because I think he his hiding something. The tour is coming up soon, a lot of twitter fun and jealousy from Shane, but he wanted her to move on. The presents were amazing and this was the saddest Christmas ever, but it had to happen and I write everything for a reason.

THE INDIE CAMP ROCK AWARDS ARE BACK. Every summer readers and writers nominate their favorites for awards, to recognize their writing. I fully support it as I have been nominated it is amazing and I nominate my favorites as well. I won last year for JASON/OC for alone at 18 and HONORARY BEST ALL TIME AUTHOR. It is an amazing feeling so make sure to follow them on twitter or visit their fan fiction, both indiecrawards. Nominate your favorites and keep updated on voting. Nominations go until June 8th. Support and nominate for your favorites!

I happy to announce that on Friday I will be posting a new story I have been co-writing with the ever amazing NverSayNver and so far I am really enjoying it. It is something we both never really have done before. It is rated TEEN and you know what you are comfortable reading so you have been warned. If you have read my stories and it's not much different to that, but ratings are there for a reason. So without more rambling here is the summary for the story coming on Friday that will be updated every Friday, here is AGELESS LOVE.

Mitchie a 18 year old, not-so-innocent farmer's daughter is wanting more than the farm for the summer gets a live-in nanny job. Shane, a 27 year old single dad and owner of a high tech firm hires Mitchie. Their attraction to each other is immediate but the age difference is unacceptable in their community and highly frowned upon. With a boyfriend she loves does she choose that or give into the lust for Shane, hoping that it can turn into more?

There it is and I hope you will read it, enjoy it, and please review. Let me know what you think about this chapter of fighting for him. Any ideas on what's coming up on tour for Mitchie and Shane, what happens with him? Thanks again for the support and I hope you can show the new story much love. Please read and review, Enjoy!

~Kim