Disclaimer: no own gundam boys kay
Voldyismoldy: thank you all so much for your reviews and for returning to read the last chapter after I took so long to update it. I love you all my loyal readers, Nannah, Miroseo, Lillyoda and Star Wing, thanks especially to you for liking my writing style and saying I have great ideas, and to anyone else I missed it is you who keeps me writing. Welcome too to Dragon1727 and I hope you will continue to read and review. And now on with the chapter where we get to find out what happened to Heero.
Warning: don't know but I am warning you now for everything and anything. Enjoy!
Chapter 12. To Save a Friend.
The drive to the hospital was unusually silent for the four companions each one trying to think of what could be wrong with Heero. Zechs, Noin and Dorothy knew only what Relena had told them and that was simply that Quatre had called her asking her to come to the hospital to see Heero. Relena knew little more except that he was in the hospital having been brought there that morning and that Quatre and the others would explain when they got there and they were to say nothing about it to Duo.
Only Relena was aware of the problem between Heero and Duo though even she didn't know just what that problem was and her concern for the blue eyed man had increased with this news. She had hoped that it was only a misunderstanding that day but was now convinced that it was much more and only hoped that nothing to serious had happened to the man she considered one of her closets friends. She was also glad to see that the two other women and even her brother were concerned for him as well.
Despite Heero's cold outer shell he had managed to become friends with Dorothy and Noin who were known to force him out of that shell whenever they were around. Zechs was a bit harder but the two had grown a mutual respect for each other during the war and after while working at perventers together. He had been surprised when Heero had stopped working a little over a month ago and had asked his sister if she knew what was going on so to find out now that he was in the hospital disturbed and upset him.
When they reached the hospital they found Trowa waiting for them in the lobby and with a nod of his head, seeing they were all there, he lead them down to a waiting room on the third floor. Within the room sat Merian and Quatre with Wufei pacing, the Chinese man had never been good at sitting still. They all looked worried and were relieved to see them and once the greetings were taken care of Relena sat next to Quatre looking up at the other two ex-pilots with a pleading look in her eyes.
"What has happened to Heero? Is he all right?" She asked the question all of them wanted an answer to. Quatre lowered his eyes and both Wufei and Trowa looked distressed at her words adding to her worry. "Please tell us what is going on? Why didn't you want us to contact Duo did something happen between them?"
"Heero should be all right Relena but Sally hasn't come to tell us anything yet," Trowa explained when it appeared that neither of the other two were going to answer her. She looked relieved at that but still worried as she waited to hear the rest of his answer. "Do you remember the night you called Quatre and I after seeing Heero and Duo Relena?" She nodded, of course she remembered how could she forget. "Well it seems you had reason to worry about him then and we only wish we had gotten to him sooner."
The unibanged man sighed softly and then explained everything they had found out last night and this morning. He told them of the abuse, rape, and self-inflicted starvation the former wing pilot had been suffering over the last few months. Of his obvious fear of everyone and their confrontation with Duo that morning when he had denied having any responsibility in what had happened to his lover. He even told them of how he had accused Heero of having other lovers that had abused him which from one look at their faces he knew none of them believed.
By the time he got to that morning there were tears in the three women's eyes and they looked deeply distraught over what had happened to their friend. Zechs was scowling darkly his elbows on his knees where he sat and his chin on his hands as he listened to the man. Trowa quickly explained how Heero had asked to take a nap after Duo had left and how they had left him alone for several hours on the couch while he slept. It wasn't until they tried to wake him for lunch that they realized something was wrong when he wouldn't wake up.
At first they didn't know what could have happened to him as there was nothing around and Sally had examined him quickly thinking perhaps he had passed out or something else not to serious. But during the examination Sally had discovered some faint traces of white powder on his hand and Wufei had spotted a white pill near the foot of the coffee table. It was then Quatre had told them about finding Heero with a bottle of sleeping pills the night before and fearing he had taken some and perhaps over dosed on them they had decided to take him to the hospital and called them knowing he would need as much support as he could get.
"Oh poor Heero," Relena said once he had finished and she buried her face in her hands as she cried softly for her friend. "How could Duo do that to him what is wrong with him?"
"We don't know Miss Relena he stormed out before we could say anything more to him," Quatre told her looking close to tears himself. Even though he had already known everything Trowa had told them it still left him wanting to weep for his friend. "We are just hopping we can help Heero recover from this. I just don't understand why Heero allowed him to do all that to him. Surely he could have stopped him."
"Unless he didn't want to or was too afraid to," Zechs said quietly looking thoughtful as all eyes turned to him in surprise and curiosity. "I think out of us all that I best understand Heero's reasons for letting this happen. We are both soldiers, both consumed with the guilt of the blood on our hands, and both unable to believe that anyone could truly love us after all we have done and what we are."
"Zechs . . ." Noin said placing her hand on his with a small smile that the man returned as he looked at her.
"I was lucky Lucrezia I had you who loved me despite everything in my past but Heero . . ." he began the smile leaving his face as he went on his thoughts returning to the younger man with the uncertain fate. "He never had anyone until he met us. He was trained not to feel and so never thought that he could ever feel for anyone or that anyone would ever feel for him. So I think that when he realized he had feelings for Duo and that Duo had feelings for him and that it was all right for him to he was afraid of losing him not believing anyone else would ever care for him in that way. So he let Duo do whatever he wanted to him in order to keep him with him."
"Very astute Zechs and I think you are right, that is more than likely part of the reason why Heero allowed the abuse he suffered," Merian agreed in her professional voice, she even made a small note in the note pad she carried. Zechs gave a nod of appreciation for her words as he sat back in his seat. "However it is not the full reason and I am sure there is much more to this than that. But it is a start and with it we can help Heero with his recovery more effectively."
"But can he recover from this after everything he suffered?" Quatre asked quietly his hand clutching at the clothe above his left breast as he wiped away his tears. "What if we were to late in finding out about this to help him?"
"Don't worry little one Heero will be all right he is strong and he has us to help him," Trowa told the man sitting next to him to wrap his arm around his shoulders in a gentle squeeze. "And if we can we will help Duo too. He has a problem and as his friends we have to do what we can to make him see that and get the help he needs as well as Heero."
"It is Duo's reasons for what he did that I can't be sure of," Zechs agreed frowning slightly as he contemplated their other friend silently for a few minutes. "There is obviously something going on with him that we don't know about. None of this sounds like him yet I don't doubt that he was the one who abused Heero and I would like to know why."
"And we will find out why it will just take some time," a voice said. They turned as Sally walked into the room looking tired but satisfied and their fears and worries instantly lightened at her look. "Heero is all right. He woke up briefly but has fallen back asleep and you can see him if you want but only one or two at a time and only for a little while. He needs rest more than anything."
"Thank God," Quatre said in relief a small smile coming over his face as he looked at the woman. Relena and the three other women were smiling as well but the three other men's face's remained expressionless save for some relief that shown in their eyes. "What happened to him Sally?"
"Just as we thought he over dosed on sleeping pills. Some of the pills from last night must have fallen on the floor without either of you noticing. Heero saw them and upset over what happened with Duo decided to take them presumably hoping to take his own life," the woman explained her voice soft as sadness filled her eyes. It was reflected in the eyes of the others gathered in the room. "He only took six or seven at the most but in his weakened and malnourished state those six or seven were more than enough to cause him to overdose though it was fortunately not a fatal one and we got him here in time to save him. But the doctors want to keep him here for observation, he has sleep deprivation, is far under weight and is now considered suicidal so they don't feel comfortable sending him home with anyone right now."
"That is probably for the best," Trowa agreed ignoring Quatre's surprised and upset look knowing that the blonde man wasn't as happy about not having their friend with them. "Here he can get the care he needs and it is less likely that he will over dose again. However I hope we will be able to take him home eventually."
"Yes I am sure you will and when you do you will have to watch him at all times. He can't be left alone for any amount of time. Even in the bathroom someone will have to be with him," Sally told them. They all nodded the smiles leaving their faces to be replaced by grim acceptance. Heero might be all right for now but he still had along way to go before he was fully recovered. "You all have to understand just how delicate Heero is right now. He is obviously willing to take his own life and if anyone were to do or say the wrong thing around him it could have disastrous result's. Are you all sure that you are willing to put in the time and care it will take to help him recover?"
"Of course we are Heero is our friend we will do anything it takes to help him," Wufei replied sounding affronted by the very question as the other's nodded in agreement. "Don't ask stupid questions Onna."
"Sorry Wufei what was I thinking," the woman said with a smile. Wufei huffed and Merian stood to give him a smack on the back of his head for his comment making him scowl. "So who is going to go in to see him first?"
It was decided that Relena and Dorothy would see him first and Zechs and Noin followed by Wufei and Merian and then finally Trowa and Quatre. Relena and Dorothy followed the other woman down the hall to the room Heero had been put in. She held the door open for them and they went inside. What they saw within the room brought tears to their eyes and Relena clutched the young man's hand in her own.
Never had they seen Heero like this, not even after he had been severally hurt during the Marimeia uprising a few years ago. He was laying in the bed with tubes attached to his body feeding him medicine, monitoring his heart beat and vital signs, and a million other things. He was incredibly pale and thin, speckled with bruises and old scars, and despite everything they had been told it hadn't prepared them for actually seeing him like this. For the first time they were seeing the boy and not the soldier he had hidden behind for so long.
While Relena held his hand Dorothy stood by his head running her hand through his messy brown locks that had lost their shine. They spoke to him even though he never woke and told him how they would be there for him and help him through this. That they were sorry they hadn't known sooner and that he deserved better than to be raped and abused. He never spoke or stirred, his breathing soft and shallow, but they still hoped that he heard them somehow.
They were only allowed to stay for a few minutes and then Sally returned for them and Zechs and Noin took their place. Noin did the same as Dorothy and made the same promises and regrets but the blonde haired man didn't speak. He didn't know what to say never having been in this situation before and unnerved by the weakness of his once rival and now friend. But he would do what he could to help his comrade and only wished he had paid more attention to the two men and found out about this sooner.
They had been to good at hiding it though and really they had been the last people Zechs would ever have expected of having an abusive or problematic relationship. Yet perhaps he should have suspected it with their pasts and personalities. He should have kept an eye on them and talked to them, seen if they needed any advice or anything. It was true the older man didn't have much experience with relationships himself but he had more than they did, anyone had more than Heero did, and they should have known that his complete lack of experience could lead to problems.
But none of them had even thought of it and had essentially abandoned Heero when he needed them most. He could imagine how alone and confused the blue eyed man had felt during that time and how easy it had been for Duo to take advantage of him. He had known some people who had been in abusive relationships before, it wasn't entirely uncommon among soldiers who had been trained and lived in violence most of their lives (I mean no offense to any soldiers I know many who are great men who would never abuse their partners so please don't take offense to this if there are any out there), to use violence on their partners without meaning to.
He and the others should have thought of that when the two men got together but Quatre and Trowa had done so well together as had Wufei and Merian that they had truly believed Duo and Heero wouldn't have any problems either. After all Trowa had been trained as a soldier since he was a child as well and had the same problems showing his emotions that Heero did but he had managed to over come that with the blonde boys help. Even if they had though they would probably never have suspected Duo of being the abusive one when Heero was more prone to anger and violence in the past and yet out of the five of them Heero was probably the most fragile and less likely to hurt someone unless he had to.
"I'm sorry Heero we failed you badly but we know now and we will do what we can to help you," He told the sleeping figure as Noin smiled at him and nodded in agreement. Zechs had come a long way from the guilt ridden soldier he once was and she was pleased with how much he had changed in these years of peace. "We won't let Duo hurt you ever again, you deserve much better than that and we will make sure you know that now."
They stayed with Heero for a bit longer and then left to give Wufei and Merian their turn. Though the young Asian woman went right to the bed the man hung back staring at his friend and fellow former pilot with a deep sadness. The young Chinese man was used to seeing his comrades injured during the war and on missions but never like this and for once he couldn't hide his emotions. The cold mask of honor and anger had slipped from his face as he stared at the man not knowing what to do. In some ways he was as bad as Zechs when it came to relationships despite the fairly normal childhood he had and thought he didn't like to admit it he was one of the most sensitive of the five pilots.
Before it had been easy to hide what he was feeling and keep the other pilots at arms length with the war and his need for justice and vengeance for his fallen clan. But now there was nothing to hide behind or a reason to and his emotions showed clearly on his face. He was afraid to touch the other man or get to close to him not wanting to hurt him by accident. However when he began to stir and his eyes flickered open he moved over to the bed instinctively wanting the man to know he was there.
"Heero," He said softly as the man awakened his blue eyes still blurry with sleep turning to focus on him. "How do you feel my friend?"
"Wufei," Heero began pausing to lick his dry lips before speaking again his voice soft and hoarse from the stomach pumping he had endured earlier. "Sorry."
"For what?" Wufei asked startled by his apology as he moved up to the side of the bed next to his girlfriend.
"Sorry for being weak," the other man explained his eyes lowering away from him in what could only have been shame. "You must hate me now."
"No my friend I don't hate you and you are not weak," The Chinese man replied knowing it was his fault the man felt this way with all his rants on justice and being weak during the war. "I just want to see you get better and promise me you won't do this again."
"I'll try," Heero told him and Wufei reluctantly nodded knowing that was the best he would get from him right now. "Thank you."
"Your welcome, now we better go Quatre and Trowa are waiting to see you too," He told him. Merian nodded and gave him a pat on the hand before standing up to follow him out of the room. "You should know that Relena, Dorothy, Noin and Zechs are here to and came into see you earlier. Lady Une said she would come see you when she could and hopes you will get well soon."
Heero looked at him in surprise and then a small smile formed on his face, one of the first Wufei had ever seen there. He felt a small smile form on his own face in response to it as he and the woman left the room to get the last two members of their group. Heero watched them leave pleased that they had been there and unable to believe that they had all come just to see him. Duo had told him that their friends would hate him if they knew about what happened but it seemed he had been wrong because they were all here concerned for him even after he had tried to take his own life.
He didn't understand why they still cared about him after what he had done and what had been done to him. Why they didn't hate him or think he was worthless and dirty as he did now, couldn't they see the filth on him, he felt like he was covered in it and would never be clean again. Yet they had chosen to stand by him instead of Duo even though he didn't know why. Why would anyone choose him over the cheerful, energetic, braided man they had all loved during the war? The one that made things bearable and allowed them to laugh and forget for a little while all of the terrible things they had done and would do.
Heero had never done that, he had always been cold and unapproachable to the other pilots during the war. He hadn't known how to be any other way or how to be friends with them without them getting in the way of his mission as he had thought they would. And even now in this time of peace he found it hard to be friendly with anyone even them, to smile and laugh, it just wasn't easy for him to do as it was for Duo. So why would they choose to side with him, to risk their friendship with the other man just to support someone who wasn't worth it?
"Heero?" The voice was soft and questioning and as he turned toward it Quatre smiled entering the room and followed by Trowa. "You're awake that's good. We were worried about you."
"Sorry," Heero told him feeling immediately ashamed of what he had done. He hadn't wanted to worry anyone and had honestly thought they would be happier with him gone. "I was just so tired and I don't really sleep anymore. I can't."
"It's ok Heero I understand just try to keep that promise you made Wufei all right," Quatre told him sitting on the side of his bed while Trowa stood next to him. He wasn't smiling but Heero knew he was happy to see him to, they understood each other well enough for him to know that without him showing it. "Dr. Fendrick wants to keep you in the hospital for a while for observation, he's concerned that if he releases you to us you may try to do something like this again and he is worried about your weight and lack of sleep as well."
"I don't like being in hospitals," He replied frowning slightly. He knew he had no real choice though and that even thought his friends understood, both of them feeling the same way, they would do nothing to get him out they were to concerned about his health to do so. "But I guess I have no choice do I?"
"No you don't, but you know its just so you can get better," Trowa agreed a slight look of amusement in his one visible eye as their friend sighed in defeat. "As soon as the doctor thinks you are stable enough you will come stay with me and Quatre again until you are well enough to be on your own again."
"So what do I have to do for them to decide I am well enough to leave?" Heero asked though he was already sure he knew what the answer would be that it would not be as easy as he would hope it would be.
"Well not trying to kill yourself again would be a start," The banged man told him half serious and half amused. Heero actually chuckled a little and nodded that would probably be a good thing. "You need to gain weight as well and start sleeping again. Dr. Fendrick wanted you to meet with the hospital psychiatrist but we convinced him to let you meet with Merian instead knowing you would be more comfortable talking to her instead."
"Thanks I would prefer her," the blue eyed man said gratefully though he really had no intention of talking to her either. He didn't think he could bring himself to talk about what Duo and his friends had done to him, especially what his friends had done, he didn't want anyone to know about that. "Did the others leave?"
"Yes but they will be coming to see you again soon and they all want you to know that they are here for you, to help you when you need it," Quatre told him. Heero nodded wishing he could show how much it meant to him that they cared about him but the smile didn't come somehow though he thought they understood anyway, maybe they knew him well enough to. "We have to go soon too, Sally said you need your rest so we could all only see you for a few minutes each."
"Thank you for coming you didn't have too," Heero replied his eyelids drooping slightly as he sunk back into the pillow of his bed. The amusement left both of their faces at his words as they frowned. "Does Duo know?"
"No we didn't tell him," Trowa replied upset by the faint look of a mixture of fear and hope in the other man's eyes. It was obvious that despite what he had done to him Heero still cared a great deal for Duo. "You should get some sleep now if you can we have to go anyway but we will be back soon all right?"
"Ok," The blue eyed man agreed surprised when Quatre stood to give him a hug and Trowa gave him a small smile before they turned to leave the room.
Trowa paused at the door glancing back at the messy brown haired man to find he was already asleep again. For once he was able to sleep it seemed and he hoped it would continue this way he knew however that Heero was just exhausted from everything that had happened the day before and today and that was the only reason he was able to fall asleep so easily now. Still it was good to see him like that and Quatre smiled at him when he glanced back as well to see their friend in a deep sleep.
The two left the hospital together alone. Sally had gone to check on some other patients and would be staying at the hospital for a few more hours and Zechs and Noin had returned to work to tell Lady Une how Heero was doing and see what Duo was doing. Relena and Dorothy had also left the young minister having a meeting she couldn't miss and as her assistant Dorothy had to go with her. Wufei had left to take Merian home and put himself off active duty for a while at Perventers so that he would be around to help Heero recover from what had happened to him.
Quatre intended to put a hold on most of his work as well as soon as he returned home. He would go to no out of town meetings and most of his paperwork would be taken care of by others in the company while he took care of Heero with Trowa while he was in the hospital and once he was out. His sisters could see to most of the companies needs while he helped his friends and he would still be available to take care of anything that really needed his attention.
Trowa as his personal assistant and bodyguard would of course have time off as well though he would still protect Quatre while he helped Heero. Together the three of them would do what they could to help their fellow former pilot to recover from what their fith member had done to him. Merian would help as well and Sally would keep him medically healthy and along with the others they were confident that they could make things better for their friend. At least they hoped they could though none of them knew just how long a road they would now be traveling or how much they would have to endure for the sake of their friends.
A/N: Ta da another chapter and much faster this time just like I promised. I hope you liked and I know not much happened in this chapter but it was important for the stories progress and now everyone else has been brought in. I wasn't to sure about having Zechs and Noin in this story but one of my most loyal reviewers wanted them to be so I decided why not and I am glad I did. In the series it always seemed like Zechs understood Heero more than the others did both hardened soldiers who don't really know how to deal with their guilt so that was why I decided that Zechs would understand more than the others about what was going on in Heero's head during all this.
I think it fit and I hope everything made sense and I apologize for the oocness that I am sure abounded in this chapter but oh well they were how I wanted them for this chapter and wasn't Wufei sweet? Ok so I have one major question to ask all of my lovely reviewers, most people seem to want Duo redemption still but some others want Heero to be with a different pilot and I got an interesting suggestion from Lillyoda that I want your opinion on.
They suggested that I have Heero with Trowa instead of Duo however I don't want to break up him and Quatre cause they are just cute together so my question is should I put Heero in a threesome with Quatre and Trowa and leave Duo with Josh or should I have Duo realize his mistake (which he will do either way) and have Heero go back to him. Its your choice so let me know and I will make it work.
