AUTHORS NOTE:
I'm back! I sincerely apologize to everyone who has waited for me to update this story. To make a long story short, my financial situation took a turn for the worse and then school started once more. I've been juggling a new program, working, and studying for exams all the while trying to catch up on sleep. Hasn't been easy but with my time off for the holidays, I thought I'd get some writing done.
Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel, Mele Kalikimaka, and all the other ways to say so, to everyone out there. I'm a few days late but it's the thought that counts I guess! :P I hope everyone has enjoyed their Christmas day with their friends and families and loved ones, and got great gifts and wonderful days. For those that don't celebrate Christmas; Happy Hanukkah and Happy Holidays. Hope your holidays are going well and that you are enjoying them! :)
Thanks to everyone who stuck with this story, who continued to read every update even though they are far and in between. Thank you to new readers and to all who has reviewed and favored. It is more than appreciated! :) I know that I'm not the best when it comes to updating, though I try. It's not always easy to juggle many things at once and while I wish I could update more, and it pains me to say this, it is not always a priority and at this point of my life right now, I need to start with what is a priority before what isn't. Unfortunately, it is the life and responsibilities of an adult. I wish I could go back to being a kid or a teenager, where things were a lot more easier but the time machine has unfortunately not been invented yet!
I was watching an old episode, the ending of Season 8 and thought I'd put my own spin to the ending. I apologize to everyone who doesn't like the story or the chapter, I just write what comes to mind. This chapter actually took a few days to write; I had a weird dream following that episode which included a car accident and the five stages of grief and so I went with it and this came out. Hope you enjoy this chapter! :)
DISCLAIMER: I unfortunately don't own Criminal Minds and it's characters. I simply borrow and play with them!
It was a sad day as they all stood around the hole in the ground. The latest serial killer had gone after the team and Erin Strauss had unfortunately been caught in the cross fire, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She had taken Rossi's car to work that morning and the brakes had been cut. The accident had been fatal and she had lost her life along with 4 others in the other car.
Rossi had been inconsolable without shedding a tear. He kept a straight face throughout the remaining of the case but Garcia and the team could easily see his grief. It rolled off of him in waves. He stared at the casket as it slowly made its way into the hole, tense and exhausted-looking, preferring to not speak, fearing he would be unable to do so.
Garcia had taken care of him during this hard time, making sure he ate and slept. She had forced him to live with her for a while, thinking the home they shared would hurt more than do him good. Surprisingly, he had agreed. He agreed to everything since the accident. She stood by his side during the service and drove him back to her place, remaining silent throughout the whole ordeal.
''She felt hurt that you refused her offer'' he said suddenly as she drove home. She turned to look at him, as he looked outside the window, his large sunglasses blocking his eyes. Strauss had called her a few days following Alaska offering her old job back with new perks and a raise. Garcia had refused, stating she needed more time. Every week following that phone call for the past 6 months, Garcia would receive a letter in the mail, or an email, detailing what her job would be, the new perks, the new office, the responsibilities, the budget and pay. She shredded and deleted all of them.
''I'm sorry she felt like that, Sir. I didn't feel ready to return'' she said simply, keeping her eyes on the road. She felt Rossi shift and felt his eyes bore into her.
''She knew. But she felt hurt nonetheless'' he replied. After a few minutes of silence, he opened his mouth. ''Will you be rejoining us now?'' he asked.
Garcia sighed and shrugged. While she had helped the team when she heard that Strauss had passed, she didn't feel confident in joining back with the FBI. She had found an administrating job at the hospital a few weeks after returning from Alaska, where she took appointments and directed calls. It wasn't working for the BAU, she missed her family and somewhat missed the good work she was doing for America, but she needed a down-paced job where she didn't have to look at countless gross and disturbing images.
She stopped the car at a train interception as the barrier went down. ''I receive countless job offerings every week from all the major agencies around the world. And as much as I miss the work that I did, helping all those victims, the team and all the perks of our team becoming a family, I'm not ready to return to your world. I'm not ready for those images on my screen, or hearing about those gruesome murders'' she explained. ''I'm sorry Sir, I wish that I was as hard as you guys, able to take in all those cases, switch from work to home as easily, but I'm not. I'm sensitive and I have a sensitive stomach and heart and it hurts too much to do what I did. I can't go back''.
Rossi returned to look out the window, remaining silent as he digested what she had said. Garcia continued her way to her home once the train passed, thinking of what would happen now that the funeral was over. Rossi couldn't stay with her forever, her apartment wasn't that big, and she didn't want him to return home just yet. From her time as a counselor for victims families, she knew what she had to do to help him through the stages of grief, however, Rossi was a thick-headed man who was as stubborn as it was possible, and she didn't know how she could get him to open and talk to her, let alone go through the different stages.
She knew he went through the first few stages; Denial, Anger, Bargaining. However, she feared he was stuck in the Depression stage and feared he'd take it upon himself and do something stupid such as burn his place down, repeat Gideon's move, or even commit suicide.
They arrived home and quietly made their way inside. Garcia went about her usual routine of cleaning and getting ready for the next day when she realised that Rossi had stopped in front of the door and stared at the floor, tears slowly going down his face.
She rushed to him and took him in her arms where he started to sob. He fell down to his knees, taking her down with him, but that didn't bother her. All she could think about was being there for him.
Garcia held him as he cried, trying to comfort him as much as possible, but not knowing what she could do to better help him. The apartment went from light to dark, with only the streetlamps from outside illuminating the inside. She didn't know how long they had been like that, and she didn't care. Eventually, his sobs subsided and his breath became regular. He didn't move though, he kept a firm grip on her, afraid that he'd lose her as well. After a few more hours, Garcia helped him up and brought him over to her bed and helped him lie down. She undressed him and covered him with the covers. As she was about to leave, he grabbed her hand and took a shaky breath as he brought her closer to him. She sat down on the edge and stroked his hair until he eventually fell asleep.
B y the time Garcia returned to the kitchen, it was 2100. Oddly enough, she didn't feel hungry. She reached for the vodka she kept hidden but stopped herself. She sighed loudly and sat down at the table. She was lost as to what to do. She had vowed she wouldn't get caught up with David Rossi when she returned, however, he needed someone and she knew deep in her heart that she was the only one that could help him. She didn't know how but she knew that she would do anything to help him, and she would if it was the last thing she would do.
How did I do? Whatever you feel, or think, or what to say, please say so in a review. If you don't want people to see it, then I invite you to send me a PM. I don't mind if the reviews are positive or negative, I firmly believe in constructive criticism!
There will be a next chapter, not sure when I'll get to start writing it or post it for that matter. Whatever happens, hope you will all be there to read it! :)
