Blaine sat in his chair looking at Sam, waiting for him to sing. He hears the doors shut behind him Sam bites his bottom lip and he begins to play his guitar. The heaviness of the intro's sound and Blaine instantly knows the song Sam has chosen.
(Haunted (Acoustic Version), by Taylor Swift, performed by Sam Evans)
You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
but I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake
Sam and Blaine lock eyes, as each word echoes throughout their minds. Blaine and Sam both begin to remember the night they slept together. Their lips crash into each other as their hands exploring each other's bodies.
Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't lose you again
something's made your eyes go cold
Blaine's mind flashes to his first day back at school after Sam's suicide attempt. The looks and whispers pierce his already crumbling heart as he walks to his locker. He opens the door and a note falls to the floor.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
Sam remember the sudden rush he got when the cold air hit his skin when Blaine removed his shirt while they kept their lips pressed together as their tongues danced back and forth from mouth to mouth.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted
Blaine opens the paper and reveals a sketched cartoon version of him and Sam. Their arms are over the top of each other's shoulders, looking like a pair of best friends. Under the drawing is letter in Sam's handwriting.
Blaine,
Writing this is the hardest and easiest thing I've ever done. Over the past few months you've become my best friend, but something happened along the way. I fell in love with you. I thought having feelings for a guy was a phase I went through just before I left boarding school, but I was wrong. I love you Blaine. I'm in love with you. If you don't feel the same its ok, we can still be bros. I love hanging out with you and I don't want to lose you. I don't know if I'll ever show you this letter. Maybe, when I'm ready I'll give it to you in person, but for now I'm going to just keep it in my secret hiding place.
Love,
Sam.
P.S. Sorry if the sketch sucks, I'm not that good at drawing.
Blaine slides to the ground as he holds the note and cries into his the sleeve of his shirt.
Stood there and watched you walk away
From everything we had
But I still mean every word I said to you
He would try to take away my pain
And he just might make me smile
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead
Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't see you again
something keeps me holding on to nothing
Sam's mind takes him to when he was in the hospital after Blaine had told him his true feelings and how he wished he could change how their first night together had went. Suddenly he's thinking of how he thought he had feelings for Sebastian who he saw as a clean slate for a fresh start with someone that hadn't recently lost the love of their life, but when they kissed he knew it wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't with who he wanted. However, he fears that it may be too late to change anything.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted
Blaine sits there listening as Sam finishes the song and both are holding back their tears.
I know, I know, I just know
You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
Won't finish what you started
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't go back, I'm haunted
Oh
You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
Never ever thought I'd see it break.
Never thought I'd see it...
The song ends and Sam places his guitar on the stand. He can see the tension in Blaine's body, the pain in his eyes and he knows the song isn't enough to win Blaine's heart.
"Blaine," Sam says as his body begins to shake. "I've been so lost lately. When Kurt died I was there for you, and I started to fall in love with you. Then you told me you liked Sebastian, and," he sees the scowl of irritation on Blaine's face, "…and I know I went out with him, but when we kissed at the bar that night…I thought I was dreaming again. When we got to your house I felt like every bad thing that had happened to us was meant, in some weird way, supposed to bring us together." His eyes drop to the floor as he thinks of how his first time with Blaine had gone. "No matter," his voice cracks for a second and tears well up in his eyes. "No matter how painful my first time bottoming was, I don't regret that it was with you. I just wish I had stopped us and just done what you said at the hospital…let you hold me all night long while you told me how much you loved me."
"Why didn't you then?!" Blaine says interrupting. "Do you know what people whisper behind my back when I turn a corner?" Sam knows but he doesn't say anything. "Date Rape Blaine, Scout Master, Michael Anderson, or my favorite 'The Gay-verter.'" Blaine is crying but he and Sam stay in their seats. "I'm the bad guy because we had sex and said I loved Kurt instead of you."
Sam stays still, unable to move he just listens to Blaine. "Everyone hates me now and you were drunk too." He runs his hands over his face, dragging them slowly as he presses his fingers into his skin. "I know I shouldn't have drank so much, or had sex with you … let alone let you bottom. But from the sudden rush of memory I got from that night, you looked me in the eyes and said you loved me and that I should 'go ahead' that you wanted me to do it."
"Blaine…I…." Sam stammers to speak. "I'm sorry."
Blaine scoffs and his heart aches in his chest. "Sam, I'm sorry" He says shaking his head, "but, I don't think we should be together." He sees the heartache he's causing his friend. "I'm afraid we're just going to end up hurting each other all over again." He says as he grabs his bag from the floor and heads for the exit.
"Blaine, wait," Sam says jumping to the floor and running after the man he loves.
Blaine stops and he turns to Sam with hurt-filled eyes. "Sam I can't do this right now…it…it's just too hard right now." A slight smile forms on his tearstained face. "Maybe we can still be friends." Blaine says before runs out of the room, leaving Sam alone once again.
"I'd like that." Sam lies as the second door opens to the choir room.
Finn walks inside and sees the tears that are about to fall from Sam's eyes. He grabs Sam and pulls him in for a long hug, squeezing him tightly. He shushes him as he speaks, "It's gonna be OK, little brother. I'm here."
Sam hugs Finn back before they separate. He wipes his eyes dry as he calms down and Finn grabs an extra chair for the two of them to sit and talk. "Thanks for helping me Finn. Even though it didn't work, I'm glad I've got my brother from another mother back at least."
"Anytime, dude. Bros before…uh I'm not sure I can call Blaine a ho, I mean he's a bro too, so…." Finn says confusing himself.
Sam laughs, "it's cool, man. I know what you mean. Just promise me one thing."
"What's that?" Finn asks as he jolts to attention.
"No more getting drunk and beating yourself up. I don't like seeing you in pain either." Sam says holding out his hand to shake on the agreement.
Finn shakes his hand. "I promise no more drinking, but the guilt's going to take a little more time, Sam."
Sam nods understanding how badly Finn feels for the things he's done.
….
Blaine is hiding in the back of the library during his free period reading Sam's note all over again. He hadn't notice that Rachel had found him and is standing directly behind him. Her eyes go wide when she sees what Blaine is reading. "Where did you get that?!" She says loudly.
Blaine nearly jumps out of his skin. "What the hell Rachel? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!"
Rachel walks around Blaine's chair and snatches the note from him. "Hey that's mine!" He wines.
She takes the seat across from his. "Where did you get this, because I know for a fact Sam didn't give it to you!" She says in a hushed yet demanding tone.
"It was in my locker when I came back to school after Sam's…" He can't bring himself to say the words.
"Well it was in a box under his bed at Finn's house when he got kicked out and he left it there because Finn barely gave him time to grab his clothes, let alone his personal effects." She says as her mind wraps itself around the situation in front of her.
Blaine feels confused but he looks at the facts and tries to be logical. "If Sam didn't put it in my locker then either you or Finn had to have done it, and judging by the way you're reacting to me having that tells me it was Finn."
Rachel is shocked at the accusation, no matter how much sense it made. "Finn would never do that to Sam! Even though he was mad at him for sleeping in Kurt's bed, he … he would never tell you how Sam felt about you, without Sam's permission."
"Well," Blaine says cautiously, "who else could it have been?"
She shakes her head. "I don't know, but there's something else I want to talk to you about. It has to do with this weeks assignment." She says making Blaine feel intrigued
…
The day has ended and Will and Emma are sitting down to dinner. Will pushes around his peas until they get stuck in his mashed potatoes. He has barely touched his dinner and Emma has taken notice. She slightly tilts her head up from her plate and looks at the vacant stare on her boyfriend's face. "Thinking about Sam?" She asks knowing the answer.
Will drops his fork, picks up his plate and goes into the kitchen. Emma hears the sound of the plate hitting the floor and shattering. She gets up and sees Will on his knees trying to pick up the pieces. "Here, let me get that." She says lowering herself to eye level.
He stops her when she tries to pick up one of the broken shards. "I've got this," he says as he snatches it up. He winces when he feels the sharp edge cut across the palm of his hand. "Ahhh!" He groans as he squeezes his wrist, opening his hand while blood begins to pull in his palm.
Emma gets up and turns on the faucet and leads Will to it as she helps him wash the wound. She grabs a rag and has him press it to his cut while she runs and gets the medical kit from the bathroom. When she returns she cleans and dresses it the best she can. "I think we need to get you to a doctor, it looks like you might need stitches Will."
"I'm a terrible person," he says staring off at nothing. His eyes are glazed over and his mind has wandered off into another place.
Emma now feels concern for her love. "Will, why …why would you say something like that?" She asks slowly and hesitantly.
"Because it's true," He says in a hollow turn, not changing the direction of his stare. "I should've told Sam the truth a long time ago. I should've checked on Mary after she lied and said she'd had an abortion. I should've been his father."
Emma stays silent as she watches Will's eyes fill with regret and pain. She wraps her arms around him. "You can't change the past Will, if you could then you wouldn't have the life you have today, which is pretty spectacular if you ask my opinion." He turns and looks at her and she can see he doesn't believe her. "Think about it for a second. If you had done all of what you think you should have done, then you and Terri probably wouldn't have gotten married."
"And that's a bad thing?" He asks interrupting her.
She scowls for a moment being irritated by his interruption. "Well if you hadn't married her, you might not have come back to teach at McKinley if you were off with Mary and Sam. Then we never would have met. Mary wouldn't have married Dwight, therefore Stevie and Stacy never would have been born and so Sam never would've been the amazing big brother he was to them. And the glee club would never have happened and so many lives would be in shambles right now had you done all of those things."
Will sighs, "I know you're right, but I would've had Sam."
"Will, as much as we want to change our mistakes we can't. If we could we'd lose the lessons we learn along with them." She gently kisses Will on his cheek and takes him by the hand. As much as he hated to admit it, Emma was right. "Come on, let's get you to the emergency room so they can stitch that hand up."
"I love you." He says with a low, almost whispered voice.
"I love you, too." She says smiling.
…
Sam is sitting on a stool on the auditorium stage. The whole glee club, save for Rachel, is all sitting in the audience for the number he prepared with Rachel for the heartbreak lesson. The music plays, Sam takes a deep breath a looks right at Blaine just as he begins to sing.
(Why Don't You Love Me, by Hot Chelle Rae performed by Sam Evans)
See I can't wake up I'm living a nightmare
That keeps playing over again
Locked in a room so hung up on you
And you're cool with just being friends
Sam's mind plays the moments he and Blaine have spent together and he wants nothing more than to take back the things he has done that have caused pain to the people he loves, Blaine especially.
Left on the sidelines
Stuck at a red light
Waiting for my time
And I can't see
Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
He thinks of how perfect Blaine looks, but the expression on his face is something he can't describe. He cannot tell if the man he loves is enjoying the song or utterly hating it from the uncomfortable feeling Sam can only assume he's causing him. That is until Rachel misses her cue and doesn't walk onto the stage to sing the Demi Lovato part. Instead Blaine opens his mouth and begins to sing from his seat in the third row.
BLAINE: See I'm just too scared to tell you the truth
Cause my heart ache can't take anymore
Broken and bruised longing for you
And I don't know what I'm waiting for
Blaine stands up as he finishes the first part and begins to walk towards the stage, never taking his eyes off of Sam's.
Left on the sidelines
Stuck at a red light
Waiting for my time
So just tell me
He walks over to the stage's side steps and makes his way to the second stool next to Sam as the spotlight shows only the two of them. Rachel enters the auditorium and takes a seat next to Finn who squeezes her hand before planting a kiss on her cheek. Sam's eyes break from Blaine's long enough to give her a look of confused gratitude. She smiles as she remembers how she set all of this up.
"What do you want from me Rachel?" Blaine asked her as they sat in the library.
She scoots forward in her chair. "I want you and Sam to get your happy ending by binge together, because I know how badly the two of you want to be together." She explains that Finn had told her everything that had happened in the choir room.
"Rachel, I honestly don't think it's meant to be. Too much has happened for us to even have the remotest of possibilities of ending up together." He can see the frustration on her face. "I know he loves me, but when I tried to tell him how I felt he ignored me! He refused to let me see him so I snuck in one day during school when I knew no one else would be there and he pretended to be asleep."
Rachel grabs both of Blaine's hands. "I know about that. What you don't know is that after you left is that he cried for hours wishing he was strong enough to tell you that he still wanted to be with you, but he was too afraid after the whole hate crime incident and he also thought you weren't over Kurt. Do you really blame him for being scared of getting hurt again?" He remains silent. "He tried to give you his heart all over again today and you let it fall to the floor like a dirty tissue."
"I didn't want to hurt him, but I'm hurting too! I am tired of being painted as the bad guy in all of this!" He says trying to not yell at his friend.
Rachel sighs, but then looks at Blaine with great conviction in her eyes. "None of your friends see you as the bad guy anymore. They did at first because of how scared they were for Sam's life and they wanted to blame you; and Finn; and Mr. Schuester, but all of the people that matter in your life have let it go and realized none of this was your fault. You and Sam had drunken sex that was consensual on both of your parts. You saying Kurt's name was probably just some residual grief." She can see she's getting through to him.
"What if we don't make it? I don't want to lose him again." He says softly.
She smiles sweetly and hugs him quickly. "The only way you will lose him, is if you don't try and make it work. He loves you, Blaine. He doesn't want Sebastian or Quinn, or Mercedes, his heart belongs to you. The question is do you want him?"
"Of course I do." He says without even needing time to think.
Rachel giggles with excitement, but quickly contains it. "Good then you're going to take my place in the duet I'm supposed to perform with Sam.
Rachel's mind returns to what is happening on stage. Blaine and Sam are both standing, gazing into each other's eyes as they sing.
SAM: Why don't you give me a reason? [BLAINE: (give me a reason)]
SAM: Please tell me the truth [BLAINE: (Please tell me the truth)]
SAM: You know that I'll keep believing [BLAINE: (I'll keep believing)]
TOGETHER: Till I'm with you
Why don't you love me?
Kiss me, I can feel your heart tonight
It's killing me so
Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
The song ends and Blaine wraps his arms around Sam, pulling him in for their first real kiss. Their friends all stand up and cheer for them. Will stands behind his desk in the back and smiles proudly at his son, feeling happy that he is now with the one he loves and in that moment he promises to protect him from anyone that might threaten that happiness.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK YOU GUYS. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS AGAIN. THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. NYC WAS A BLAST, BUT I AM GLAD TO BE BACK AND WRITING. I HOPE THIS CHAPTER WAS WORTH THE WAIT FOR YOU GUYS. AGAIN THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS.
