Chapter 12: Hogsmeade
Draco woke up dreading today like he has been ever since he looked like that Harry Potter.
He gathered Mr. Feather and all the clothes he was going to wear for the trip to Hogsmade. When he got
into the bathroom, he didn't look at his reflection on his way to the shower. He just put his belongings
on a little shelf, and started to wash his hair. 'Time for our first Hogsmade trip. Teasing that Potter isn't fun,
when you look like him! I swear whoever did this to me will pay!' he thought bitterly.
When he got out he started to brush his teeth, he noticed his hair, it was blonde again! He nearly
choked on his toothbrush when he saw it. 'Bloody Hell! I wonder who did this… Oh well! My hair is
beautiful again, and that's all that matters, and the scar…wait… YES THAT STUPID SCAR IS GONE
TOO! Life is good!' Draco thought happily. When he walked out of the bathroom, he was a new man.
Jade woke up bright and early to prepare her outfit. She was excited to show everyone the clothes
she bought the previous summer from America. 'I'll wear this after breakfast,' she touched the fabric one last
time and headed to Breakfast.
She saw that Ruby was also in her robes. "What are you going to wear?'' asked her Gryffindor twin.
"Surprise me and I'll surprise you," was the reply from the green-haired Slytherin.
The sisters settled down at the Gryffindor table - no one minded Jade there anymore - and their mouths
watered at the thought of pancakes swimming in honey...
Jade noticed Draco practically shooting beams of glee everywhere he went because of his hair.
'Shallow idiot, overjoyed just because of his hair,' she thought. Yet she couldn't help smiling at his
happiness.
"I'M HERE!!!" a musical voice announced. All heads turned to find the source that interrupted their
Breakfast time. A young blonde woman with long, wavy locks and a far-off expression on her fair face stumbled
toward where the teachers sat.
"Sorry I'm a little late! So what time to I start teaching? Noon? Oh wait, what class do I teach again?''
Snape looked furious. He obviously thought that this woman was not fit enough to teach the class that he wanted
the most. "You are more than a little late," he began, "Classes started a week ago and you-"
Dumbledore raised a hand to cease Snape's berating. Ruby sighed, ''Even when he's angry, his voice is beautiful."
Her eyes lingered on her favorite professor a little longer before examining the new Defense Against the Dark Arts
teacher.
"I've met her!" she gasped. "I bumped into her when rushing to Breakfast." Ruby shook her head.
"You should've seen how calm she reacted. Eerie, kinda. She's weird - even for us."
"Well, I think she's pretty!" Ron's opinion earned him a glare from Hermione.
With everyone staring at the new arrival, Jade found her golden opportunity to cast the training spell on
Harry. But if she did, the pancakes would turn cold. 'What to do? Pancakes or training? Pancakes or training?' her
minded raced. 'Both,' she finally decided, and stuffed a pancake in her mouth.
"Suidae sos Scrofa!" Jade's wand pointed directly at Harry from underneath the table.
Harry's interest in the new DADA professor suddenly vanished. He felt himself crave for a certain food - roast
pork. Sure enough, he spotted it right before him. It looked like it had expired so long ago that even flies would
not want to go near it. Yet Harry started to indulge himself with this nasty dish. His fellow Gryffindors' noses wrinkled in disgust.
"Ewww... Harry! What are you doing?!" they cried.
When the twins turned around, they saw Harry with a fork full of the pig dish, and looked shocked. Ruby was
totally disgusted, along with Jade, and to their dismay they could not interfere.
"HARRY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THAT COULD MAKE YOU SICK FOR MONTHS!" Hermione
shrieked.
Harry looked down at the fork that he was holding to his mouth. It held age-old pork, with mold growing all
over it, and the gravy was had the same texture as cottage cheese. Suddenly he felt ashamed, and pushed the
food away no matter how bad he craved it. He looked at the two Chinese twins, who looked happier than his
archrival.
"this is your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Heartly. I know that you will give her a
proper welcome!" Dumbledore said loudly with the ususal twinkle in his eye.
Ruby pushed a plate of pancakes over to Harry, and smiled at him. Jade smirked, as she tried to get some more
pancakes from Seamus Finnigan who shook his head at first, but soon changed his mind. Shortly after he gave
Jade his pancakes he asked her out for some butterbeer.
"Nope… I know a better drink, Lemon Puncher. Those are the best to drink!" Jade said examining her nails, "but
I will try to find you in Hogsmeade… wait, Ruby we have to get ready!" grabbing Ruby's arm and pulling her
away from the interesting conversation about all of Ron's brothers; they left to their different common rooms.
Jade walked into her room to find her roommate, Pansy Parkinson in the nude! This was WAY too much for
Jade's system handle, she ran to the bath room and made loud, and very fake gagging noises.
"HEY PARKINSON! BE DECENT AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! AND NEVER UNDRESS IN THE
ROOM, EVER HEARD OF A BATHROOM?" Jade yelled, before she began gagging again at the image of the
pug-faced girl with out clothes.
Pansy walked to the bathroom door, and cleared her throat loudly to make the other Slytherin look up. The
blonde was wearing the most trashy outfit that Jade could possibly imagine! She was wearing a thin white shirt,
with a black bra showing, and mint green hot shorts, with a bright green thong showing.
Jade burst into laughter at the sight of the white, trashy pug-faced girl.
Pansy's grip on her SexxiAussie Hair-Spray tightened so much that she nearly exploded the can. "Well... uhhh...
you..." she was seething with anger.
Jade raised an eyebrow, higher than usual to insult her least favorite roomate. "Well what? I don't have time for this,
I need to get ready. Got places to go." With that, the twin walked out.
As she walked down the stairs, she heard Pansy's long-awaited comeback. "Well... you're FAT!"
Ruby waited for Jade by carriages with Seamus, who was counting his Sickles. Ruby spotted Jade and
shouted hello. "Nice outfit," she told her younger sister, who was wearing camoflauge tank top that said in white
"Haha, Now You Can't See Me." Black jeans, torn in many places, had two belts that criss-crossed in the front and
back so they made two X's. Jade smiled gratefully. She knew that her sister had taste, even though once in a while
she would wear something totally ugly (and tacky). "Same to you," Jade finally said.
Ruby wore a white dress with red polka dots all over the silk material. Her hair was pulled back into a bun with
matching chopsticks. It made it obvious who was who with these two outfits. Jade and Ruby weren't in the mood
to trick people just yet.
"Hey, he waited for you," Ruby pointed to Seamus, who looked at Jade's outfit questionably.
"It's from America, right?" he guessed. Jade nodded in surprise.
"Yeah, I have a cousin from there who wears this stuff all the time. He's pretty famous- and weird.Bono, lead singer of
U2, have you heard of him?"
Both Jade and Ruby's mouths gaped wide open. "You're kidding!"
"I love his music!" Ruby pulled Seamus's hand. "You think I could meet him?! Pleaaaaase?"
"Let's not kill Seamus on the first day, Ruby." Jade said. "Besides, he's buying us drinks."
Seamus gulped, hoping that Jade was kidding and that he could survive this day.
The three of them joined Neville in a carriage. Feeling sorry for the Longbottom boy, Ruby sat with him and
started a conversation. When they arrive to Hosgmeade, Neville agreed to go to The Three Broomsticks with her.
"Lemon Punchers!" the two twins yelled to Madame Rosetta, who was busy serving drinks to other Hogwarts students.
"A Slytherin with a Gryffindor?" Pansy sneered as she walked past Jade and Seamus with Draco's arm within
her grasp, "I knew you weren't a true Slytherin."
"If being a Slytherin means dressing up like a whore - and a trashy one at that, then you're right." retorted Jade with a
casual wave of her hand.
Pansy stomped off to the barstools, pulling Draco with her. Crabbe and Goyle were behind them, ogling at her
visible thong and pointing rudely at it. Seamus looked impressed at how Jade handled Pansy and Ruby looked
shocked at the blonde Slytherin's undergarments.
"If she going to wear one, she needs to wear one right. Hey, I saw a hooker in Thailand with the exact same outfit!" Ruby
exclaimed loudly.
"Did we do this to her?" Jade asked as she walked toward Pansy. "Excuse me," she passed by Crabbe and
Goyle. SNAP! Jade pulled Pansy's thong up to her armpits and let go fast. Then she ran away before Pansy's
"DIE" mode kicked in.
"Why don't we go to Zonko's now?" Jade suggested as she hid behind a laughing Seamus.
The four of them sped off to the joke shop to avoid Pansy's wrath. They needn't worry about Draco or his goons - for the
three of them had fallen on the floor laughing.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were already in there examining different prank products. Ron held up a rubber rat that bit people.
"This looks like Scabbers," he said sadly.
"Who's that?" Ruby asked her fellow redhead. "My old pet rat. REALLY old; my brother Percy used to own him."
Ron went into detail on his many brothers; Fred and George in particular caught her attention. "Can I meet' em?"
Ruby gave Ron a hug.
"S-sure. I'll invite them here next time we come to Hogsmeade." Ron's ears began to turn red.
Ruby thanked Ron and went to find Jade to tell her the good news. "They're twins like us." Ruby reported excitedly.
''I've heard of them. They were supposed to have created a lot of chaos." Jade said, smiling. "But we can do better, can't
we?"
The twins grinned and climbed onto a pile of treasure chests that contained fake Zonko jewels.
"WE ARE THE GODDESSES OF CHAOS! WORHIP US AND HAPPINESS WILL COME TO YOU!" they
cried to the shoppers as they did Sailor Moon-like poses.
Neville and Seamus leaned on each other for support as they laughed. Neville collapsed, bringing down his friend
with him.
"They're crazy," Ron muttered to Harry, who nodded in agreement.
"I know we are! Isn't it grand?" Ruby said as she was helped down by Neville, who was extra carful not to let her
fall.
"Yes it is grand! Grand, grand, grand, grand, grand!" Jade said happier than usual (after all the things she did to
pansy who wouldnt?), as Seamus helped her off the false chests.
"Where do you want to go to next, M'lady?" Seamus asked as the group left the store.
The only Slytherin of the group ran a head of the Gryffindors and shouted "HONEYDUKES, AWAY!"
The seven walked down the street, to a big, brightly colored building. Ruby was about to open the door, when it opened, and their new DADA teacher walked out holding a bulging sack of candy, And some kind of 70's clothes. When she looked down at the other students, she smiled and said in a far out voice, "Hey, what's shakin little dudes? That candy shop is like gravy, man. It is so solid. Hold the phone. You my man are Harry Potter. Right? I heard about you a few times. Well… not a few, but you catch my drift. How's fame treating ya? Well gotta meet some other teachers, and that mucho big guy, Hagrid. Check ya later!" and the psycadellic blonde walked over to the Three Broomsticks.
"Well… err… she is… how should I say… different than our other DADA teachers." Harry said, as he watched the retreating blonde stroll to the Three Broomsticks.
"Told you she was weird!" Ruby said crossing her arms.
"I think she was far out." Jade said, with a smirk.
"Oh yeah! Wanna settle this out side?!" Ruby was pulling out her wand.
"Duh! We are outside, stupid! And bring it!" Jade said as she reached for her wand.
"You dissin my face?" Ruby said, as she put a hand on her hip, and her wand pointed at her Slytherin twin.
"Im dissin all your faces! And you know what? Im dissin your professor! Greasy teacher lover!" Jade yelled as she put her wand pointed at her Griffindor twin.
The two girls where about to say the first word of one of their curses, when a voice spoke up, and distracted them, "I don't hope I interrupted anything. But I think you should move. We are in front of a candy store." Hermione said loudly.
Ruby and Jade immediately stopped squabbling and ran into Honeydukes. Not looking back to see if the rest followed, the twins
started on a quest to find a thank-you gift for Professor Dumbledore. They inferred from his password and his speech that he liked
candy.
"Hmm... how about live sour worms? I see some nice squirmy ones."
"Nah... pollen candy flower? They become chewy bees in your mouth."
Ruby's brows furrowed in deep thought as she looked around the candy store. Her eyes looked past excited third years and saw the
perfect gift.
"Oh wow! Jade come see!" Ruby threw one of them toward her sister.
Jade caught it perfectly, but to her it didn't seem to be the perfect gift - at first.
"It's red. It beats. It's... a heart. It's a chocolate heart." her voice was full of uncertainty.
"Yes. exactly! Have a sample." Ruby's mouth was stuffed with free samples of the chocolate muscle organ.
In less than 30 seconds, a load of chocolate hearts, a giant one for Dumbledore, was in a gift basket that was charmed to hold more
than it normally could.
Seamus was the first to comment on their purchase. "What are those?" his question was bombarded with indignant responses.
"A chocolate heart. It's delicious and you'd wish you could have one," Jade stuck her tongue out at Seamsus' disgusted face.
"Aww.. you look so cute when you're disgusted." she added sarcastically.
Neville looked at it curiously and quipped, "Looks like something we'd use in Potions, or something that Snape would eat for breakfast."
Ruby gasped. "Don't make fun of my future husband!"
Ron, along with everyone else, looked at her strangely. "You're joking, right?"
"Yes, she is." Jade said unconvincingly. Ruby cast her the same look. "OK, just a PHASE then. Now let's go visit the Shrieking Shack."
The group walked to a secluded area and found Snape there, brooding and looking scornfully at the allegedly haunted building.
Ruby put a finger on her lips to silent the group. Then walking unnoticed toward Snape, she stopped beside him without him realizing it. Both figures stood there awhile before she sighed, "Isn't it romantic?"
Snape jumped as if a wet fish was in his pants. "Ms. Zhang! How... nice to see you here!" Snape's left eye twitched a little as he grimaced.
"I know. It's so nice to see you here to, Snapey-poo!" Ruby gushed. Her eyes were lit up with joy.
"Please don't call me that," Snape's frown told Harry that this was the sort of nickname that his father's friends probably call him.
Hermione checked her Swiss cheese watch. "It's time to go," she announced, rather loudly at Ruby.
The redhead girl waved to the group, shouting, "I'll catch up!"
"Should we really let her stay and torture Snape? She'd probably smother him or something," Jade said worriedly.
"I wouldn't mind." Neville grinned.
Everyone laughed (except for Ruby and Snape, who didn't hear) and went into the carriages.
