A/N: OK, as I said in the last chapter, I wasn't going to be able to wait to give you guys this chapter. I will be traveling next week, and didn't want to miss posting this chapter and probably the next three. You will probably get a few additional chapters this week, but because I will be missing for a couple weeks afterwards.
Thank you all for the reviews, they help spur me on! Thanks to torisurfergirl for her extraordinary help with this story.
Enjoy!
Uncomfortable
"Happy birthday, Elizabeth!" the huge group assembled at my house shouted, as Elizabeth came into the living room.
It was her double digit birthday party, just after Christmas, and the whole family was there. Mike had come over with Sierra but was keeping his distance from both Elizabeth and me. Every now and then he would awkwardly glance my way. I was used to that at this point, since our disaster of a date.
Fueled by anger at Edward, I had accepted the date offer from Mike, and he and I had gone out for an evening between Christmas and New Year's Eve. It took both Alice and me to convince Elizabeth that just because I was going out on one date didn't mean I would marry him, so she begrudgingly allowed the date. She was bitter about it when I left, and the next morning was still very quiet.
Alice said that she had barely spoken while I was gone, only asking if she could call Edward. I was fairly certain that he knew about the date at that point, but I shrugged it off. I was still angry and bitter about our last conversation, so I decided to ignore the hurt because of the argument and tried to move past it.
The date had been less than successful. Mike and I started out talking like normal but got increasingly quieter as the night went on. He had started a conversation about his ex-wife, which had been extremely uncomfortable as he got increasingly snide with his comments toward her. We had eaten dinner in silence from that point on, and walked around the park near my house with only saying one or two words to each other. At the end of the date, we concluded that it wasn't meant to be and he left me at home driving off quickly.
After that, he had brought Sierra over to visit Elizabeth but never lingered. He just dropped her off, waited for her to get inside and then took off. I would sigh, glance up at him and walk back into the house. I wasn't really upset at him, or that it hadn't worked out, but I had thought that I'd finally made a friend.
Elizabeth had been quite relieved when we didn't go out on more dates. She continued to ask to call Edward, but more frequently than before. I never spoke to him, and he never asked to talk to me as far as I knew. If I'm completely honest with myself, it hurt that he hadn't talked to me in a while. But, being even more honest, I was the one that had caused our not speaking.
The party was going great. A lot of Elizabeth's friends from school were able to come, and she appeared to be having a blast. My little house was jam-packed full, and since it was January, we all had to stay inside.
"Are you OK?" Alice asked me. She had come up behind me, but I hadn't heard her, putting her arms around me in a comforting manner.
"I suppose so." I laughed as I watched Emmett pick Elizabeth up and attempt to swing her around. Elizabeth giggled and begged to be put down.
"What's eating at you? It's Liz's birthday, your whole family is here, all of her friends…"
"It's nothing."
"Tell me."
Rolling my eyes, I glanced down at my stubborn friend. "Anyone ever tell you that you can be really annoying?"
Alice laughed and hugged me tighter. "Only when I'm right." She studied me for a minute, and then said, "You're missing Edward." It wasn't a question.
I shrugged, trying to not let her know exactly how I felt. Unfortunately, I had almost forgotten about Alice's ability to read me like a book. She grabbed me and forced me into the kitchen, where the party hadn't quite reached yet. She started putting the candles on the cake.
"Why don't you just call him? Tell him how you feel?" she suggested, still not looking at me.
"I want to, but I'm sure that I've ruined everything." I leaned against the counter close to her. "Elizabeth's reaction to me going out on a date with Mike made me realize that even if I'm ready for another relationship, she isn't."
Alice rolled her eyes and looked up at me. "She didn't want you dating Mike. That doesn't mean that she would be upset about you dating Edward. Have you talked to her about it?"
"No! Why would I talk to her about something like this?"
"Because she's your daughter, and she loves you. But, she also loves Edward, and maybe she would want to see you two together."
I studied my friend for a moment, trying to read behind her passive eyes. "What do you know?"
"I don't know what you mean," she stated innocently.
"Alice…" I warned.
"Elizabeth might talk to me now and then…" She was silent for a moment, but I waited patiently. "Edward, too."
"What?!" I exclaimed, before covering my mouth to keep the sound back. Lowering my voice, I leaned closer to her. "You've been talking to Edward behind my back?"
"B, listen to me. He and I became friends when he came out to visit you last August—"
"Since last August!"
"—Really, he just wanted someone to talk to about this situation. He talked to Jazz, too. And probably Emmett, although I don't know for sure," she continued as if I hadn't spoken. "I swear, B, I never revealed anything you told me in confidence. I mostly just listened to him and offered general advice."
My mind was reeling at this information. My best friend and my—what? Love?—have been talking behind my back for months. Knowing Alice as I do, I was fairly confident that she wasn't going to tell him anything I told her in private, but the knowledge that they were talking made me very nervous…and extremely curious.
"What did he say about me?" I asked in a small voice.
Alice smiled and shook her head. "Oh, no, missy. This is a two-way street. I don't tell him anything you and I discussed, and I won't tell you what he and I discussed."
I groaned, placing my hands over my eyes. "You're supposed to be my best friend, Alice!"
Alice didn't get mad that often and rarely ever yelled. But, the feel of the kitchen changed indicating to me that her hackles had risen. "Now, you listen to me. I am your best friend, B, you know that! Which is why I keep telling you to call him. Be honest with him for once! If you are honest with him about how you feel, then I have a feeling that this whole thing gets better. Please, try to remember I love you and want what's best. I wouldn't steer you in the wrong way."
Our conversation got cut short by Elizabeth walking in the kitchen. "Is it time for cake?"
"Yes, honey. Alice was just getting it ready to bring out."
"Good," she said, then looked up at me. "I wish Edward could have come out."
"Yeah, honey, me too."
The rest of the birthday party actually went well. Alice and I didn't have another opportunity to speak, but I had a feeling that she felt the conversation was done anyway. She had told me what she thought I should do, and although part of me agreed with her, I was still nervous about doing anything about it.
By the time the guests left, Elizabeth and I were both exhausted. She told me that she had promised to call Edward after the party was over, so I handed her my phone. After she got up from the couch, I asked, "Hey, can I talk to him when you are done?"
She smiled and nodded, before turning and walking to her room. I sat nervously in the living room, fidgeting and waiting. How do I start this conversation? I haven't spoken to him in weeks…
Before I was ready—like I could have ever been ready—Elizabeth came in the living room, silently handing me the phone. She then swiftly walked back into her room.
"Hello, Edward," I breathed into the phone, still overwhelmingly nervous.
"Hello, Bella. How have you been?" his sweet voice asked.
"Well, thank you. And yourself?"
"Good, I suppose. So, Liz said you wanted to talk to me about something. What's up?" I could tell that he was keeping his emotions guarded, and I cringed. I had made him like that.
"Liz was telling me that she wished you had been here for her birthday."
"Yeah, I told her that I couldn't come out because of work, but we both know that's not the reason, right Bella?"
Tears welled up in my eyes as his words hit me directly in my chest. That hole that began forming when he left last August had just gotten ripped open again. "Edward, I'm so sorry about keeping you and her apart. Please don't let me dictate anything between you two. She relies on you and she needs you. She loves you so much." I just couldn't tell him how I felt, but if I had substituted 'I' for 'she' in the last couple sentences, then that was exactly how I felt. I wished that he knew it, though.
Edward was silent for a moment before speaking. "Bella, you aren't keeping me away from her. I still talk to her all the time. But, if I were to come out to visit her then you would be uncomfortable and I don't want that."
"I guess things aren't as simple as when we were kids, huh? Life isn't black and white…there's a lot of gray."
"Yeah, which is why it's nice to talk to Liz. Things are so black and white for her, and she doesn't understand why things can't just be perfect all the time." He sighed. "It's getting late, Bella. What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Um, I just wanted to thank you for being there for Elizabeth. She really relies on you, and you haven't let her down. I think that's amazing, and I wanted you to know that." You are a stupid, stupid woman, Bella.
"I love her a lot, Bella. I'd do anything for her." Even though he was talking about Elizabeth, I had hoped that he was talking about me.
"Well, like you said it's late. I'll talk to you later?"
"Will you?"
"Um, if that's OK…"
Edward sighed again, and I wondered if he was getting angry with me. "I would really like that. I've missed talking to you."
"Me, too." Smiling slightly, I hung up the phone. I would have to come up with something so that I could fix our relationship. I couldn't lose him again.
A/N: One step closer…one step closer…stay tuned, next chapter coming up IMMEDIATELY after this…
