Couple things before I start, trying not to spoil: yes, the reactions of three certain characters to another certain character may have been a little extreme. But I WANT that. YES. Also, the accents for the same certain characters might not be completely canon, but are stereotypical accents and mispronunciations associated with said countries. Also, list of the girls for reference: Elena (sour, cold genius Canadian), Elana (happy, smart Jew), Ioana (goofy Romanian), Jarita (goofy Chinese), Gwyn (down-to-Earth Pole), and Megan and Mariah (rule-following Americans).
...Ugh, sounds so much like a story filled with crappy OCs. GAHHHHH I HATE THIS. MY NEXT STORY WILL BE HARDCORE CHARACTERS I PROMISE MY LOVEDOVES, I PROMISE DX
...ALSO! I hate this but I used the human names a lot in the chapter, because I want the audience to feel like the girls. It sounds weird when suddenly Britain instead of Mr. Kirkland, y'know? Besides, you know who they are... anyways, kind of two-part chapter! And filler-ish. K. Shutting up now.
While they were, of course, delighted by how amazing school was becoming, Elena Sima and Elana Seidenberg had become all the more suspicious by the next day, when it had been confirmed the subs had returned. Elena's businesslike solution was to call a meeting of the most affected students to try and figure out what the hell was going on.
"Okay. Chart time." Elena showed her bored but curious acquaintances a chart she had made.
"Here's what we know," Elana continued, reading from the chart. "So far, there have been twelve different subs teaching eight subjects, including lunch. The subs have been, as follows: American Coach Jones and German Herr Seitz for Gym, Canadian Mr. Williams for homeroom, Russian Mr. Braginski and Chinese Mr. Wang for Global, the Italian Srs. Vargas and Spanish Sr. Carriedo for lunch, British Mr. Kirkland for French, Japanese Honda-sensei for English, and French Monsieur Bonnefoy for Bio."
"And they've all been pretty friggin' weird." Mariah rolled her eyes.
"Right," Elana clarified. She signaled to Elena, who turned the page of her chart over.
"This shows teachers who've referenced each other in some way and their weirdness levels." Elena counted off the page. "First-Coach Jones and Mr. Williams are twins. The weirdness is-"
"I noticed that! Let me tell it!" Ioana jumped up, clapping her hands, and addressed the group with a wide grin. "Okay, so like, Coach Jones, like, didn't know Mr. Williams' name. He had to, like, read his name tag. And he didn't remember it the first time, either."
"Thank. You. Ioana." Elena hissed through gritted teeth. "Moving. On. Anyway, besides that, Coach Jones joined the game of dodgeball and gave us hamburgers."
"Which isn't bad per se," Elana hastily clarified. "Just... odd."
"The Italian guys and Señor Carriedo knew Mr. Braginski, and they seemed scared of him," Gwyn said, twisting her fingers around each other.
"So did Mr. Wang!" Jarita was quick to point out.
"Right," Elena nodded.
"And that guy was a total creeper." Ioana crossed her arms and shivered. Then she paused. "Mr. Braginski I mean. Not Mr. Wang."
"Whatever he did to Jack kept him out of school for a day, and he seemed like a goddamn psychopath," Elena continued. "I'm pretty sure whatever he did was illegal."
"Next... the Italian guys and the Spanish guy were nice, but that was one... pretty... extravagant lunch. I don't know... just seemed... weird, y'know? Plus, Mr. Carriedo... kinda like... did my homework," Ioana giggled.
"And the Italians were practically flirting with us!" Elena shook her head.
"Well... they were Italian. I mean, look at G... he's dated about half our grade," Megan pointed out.
"True." Gwyn nodded with her arms crossed.
"Moving on. Who's next?" Elena glanced at her chart.
"Mr. Kirkland!" Mariah jumped up.
"He was cool, but he was pretty trippy." Gwyn clicked her teeth. "'Flying Mint Bunny?' And for teaching French, he sure seemed to hate it."
"And he and Monsieur Bonnefoy, like, hated each other!" Mariah exclaimed.
"Monsieur Bonnefoy..." Megan shuddered, glancing uneasily at Jarita, Elana, and Mariah.
"Yeah. Him. Just... him," Elana gave a nervous laugh. "Everything about him.
"Then we have Herr Seitz..." Elana tapped her chin. "He would be pretty normal, I guess. But with the circumstances... he was just a little weird. Also, the weird thing he said to G and I."
"Right..." Mariah and Megan shared a look.
"Then we have Mr. Wang..." Elana tapped her chin again, staring at the ceiling.
"He was a little weird too," Jarita confessed. "Eating in class... super patriotic..."
"And Honda-sensei... watching weird crap and bringing an effing sword into school..." Megan added. "And my incredibly-awesome-and-incredibly-weird math teacher, who I still don't know the name of. He knew Herr Seitz."
Elana held out her hands. "What's your guys' take? Open to suggestions here."
The other six girls thought for a while.
"I honestly don't know." Elena looked at the ground. "It's definitely something not normal, but I don't know what it could-"
"Hey! Wait a second!" Ioana's eyes widened. "I heard there were foreign exchange students coming today! We could glean something out of them!"
As the girls got up to test Ioana's idea, Elana voiced hers. "I think it's definitely... something about countries. They were all from different countries and all really like whatever their country was." The other girls nodded and murmured in agreement. "That's the biggest similarity between all of them."
"I bet the government's involved, too," Elena mumbled.
Little did they know how incredibly spot-on they were.
...
The girls eventually came across a nervous-looking, unfamiliar boy sitting alone in the school lobby.
"Foreign. Get him," Elena ordered, pointing.
The girls needed no urging. The boy seemed not only vulnerable and approachable, but pretty hot. He had light brown hair just touching his shoulders and was dressed preppily in a button-down shirt and a green tie paired with khakis. As the girls got closer and he looked up, they could see he had tired, wide blue eyes.
Ioana, the social butterfly, plopped down next to him. He inched away with a jerky movement, giving her a nervous smile.
"He-hello," he said carefully. The girls couldn't detect an accent yet.
"Heyy." Ioana winked. "So what's your name? Where are you from?"
"M-me? My name, it is... Toris Laurinaitis." His blue eyes darted from girl to girl, suspicious and frightened.
"Whew! That's one hell of a name. What is it? Like, where's it from?" Ioana sidled up a little closer to him. Elena began to worry that he might have a panic attack.
"It's, ah, Lithuanian. I being from Lithuania."
"Lithuania, huh? Coolio!"
Something clicked in Elena's history-buff mind, almost exactly like when Jimmy Neutron had his mind-blast things. It went somewhat like this:
Lithuania controlled by Russia for long time. Mr. Braginski scary Russian. Lithuanian guy really scared. Must know each other!
"So... Lithuania? That's pretty close to Russia, right?" Elena planned her words, carefully gauging his reaction. Gwyn, Megan and Elana shot her looks of understanding.
The boy gulped and licked his lips, twisting his fingers like Gwyn often did. "Y-yes. I-I... I spent a vhile in Russia. A long vhile." He laughed once without humor. "Not being very nice over zhere."
"Wow, really? It's funny-ah-strange, I mean, because I know a Russian guy."
"O-oh, really?" He tried to smile, but the terrified eyes gave it away. "Vhat is his name being?"
"Ivan... Braginski," Elena replied with a perfect amount of suspense.
The reaction was instantaneous for the poor boy. His eyes bugged out and squeaking sounds came out of his mouth. Ioana patted his shoulder to little effect.
"You know him?" Elena asked knowingly.
"Russia... he... you are knowing him?" He whispered. Then, out of nowhere, he grabbed Elena's hands. "Vhat has he done to you?"
"Not to me. Our friend," Gwyn told him, sighing. "He doesn't scare me."
His eyes darted to Gwyn. "Vhat is your name?"
Gwyn looked taken aback. "Uh, Gwyn. Gwyn Sovaka."
The Lithuanian nodded. "Polish. I knew it."
"Wait, what? How?" Ioana asked him.
"Polish... zhey are not scared of him. Not scared of Russia..." he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. "Russia... is terrible."
"And you know Ivan Braginski?" Elena pushed.
"Know him?" He laughed again. Then his expression turned serious, dark, and cold. "He is making my life living hell for very. Very. Long time."
"Right. Sorry to hear that." Elena glanced at the group of girls with a smug grin.
"I am so glad to being in America now." He reverted to his nervous, sweet demeanor. "America treat me vell, very vell."
"Do you know someone by the name of, oh, Alfred Jones?" Elena asked, examining her nails.
His eyes lit up. "Oh, yes! Very good knowing him! Very good man, he is kind to me."
"I see." Elena made a note on her chart.
"Why don't you come with us?" Elana took his hand. "Come on, we'll show you around."
"Zank you, you are very kind girl. But can my friends come?"
"Of course!" Ioana exclaimed, scaring him once again.
"R-right... oi, Raivis! Eduard!"
Two other boys materialized instantly at his side, one about his height and one much shorter. The one closer in height seemed much calmer than Toris, and had Swedish-cut ash blond hair, square glasses, and curious dark blue eyes. The much shorter one seemed even more nervous than the Lithuanian, and had ruffled blond hair and scared blue eyes.
"Zhese are my good friends... Eduard from Estonia..." the one with glasses smiled. "...and Raivis from Latvia." The little one gave a weak grin.
"I don't even know what those are!" Ioana said brightly. Everyone else glared at her.
"Zhey are countries near Russia, bordering ze Baltic Sea," Eduard explained patiently, adjusting his glasses. "It's okay. I don't expecting many Americans to know about zhem."
"So, do you two know this Braginski person too?" Elena cut straight to the point.
Raivis and Eduard looked at each other, confused. Then Raivis's eyes widened, and he gaped at the girls with terror-filled eyes.
"You mean... Russia...?"
"Why are you calling him Russia?" Jarita asked, hands on her hips.
"Russian... not good..." He leaned against Toris's side. Elena worried that he actually was having a panic attack. Megan seemed to worry too.
"Um... is he okay?" Megan asked.
Eduard nodded with a smile, patting his smaller friend on the head. "Of course. Just bad memories is all."
"He stretched me...!" Raivis shook his head frm side to side, hugging Toris's waist. "Ahhh..."
"Wait..." Elana said slowly.
"WHAT? He stretched you too?! Tell us more!" Elena shook the tiny nation by his shoulders.
"Yes, every day almost! Very terrible times... I speaking too much alvays..."
"We can get this guy arrested!" Mariah smacked her palm with her fist.
All three of the trembling trio had the same instantaneous reaction: gasping, eyes bugging out, holding their hands out in front of them, and pleading nononononononono.
"Please, no! Do not going to police!" Toris begged.
"Zhey cannot doing anysing!" Raivis wrung his shaking hands.
"Diplomatic immunity," Eduard groaned, running his hand through his hair.
All the girls shared concerned looks. Elana and Gwyn tried to calm them down, but to no avail.
"Um..." Elena debated uneasily. "Come with us. I guess."
...
"Okay. Foreign exchange students are definitely tied in with subs," Elena whispered to Elana as the trembling boys trailed behind.
The latter nodded. "And Mr. Braginski's as bad as we thought."
"Let's ask if they know anyone else," Mariah hissed. They turned around to face the trio, who looked up nervously.
"You guys do know that Mr. Braginski is teaching here, right?"
They nodded glumly. "Yes, he is teaching Global, correct?" Toris looked at the ground.
"But the other Global teacher is nice... Yao Wang? D'you know him?" Jarita questioned.
The three looked at each other and shrugged. "Yes," Toris answered. "Not vell."
"But you do know him?" Elena pressed.
They nodded in unison.
"How about a German albino-looking guy?" Megan butted in.
The three laughed, which made the girls feel a little better. It was getting depressing being around what seemed like the stereotypical characters in Soviet-oppressed Latvian jokes. "Yes, of course!" Toris said with a true grin. "He is very funny man."
"So that's three subs you know?" Elena questioned.
"Yes," Raivis confirmed. "Oh! And ve also knowing Mr. Kirkland, and ze Japa-"
"Raivis? Vot are you saying?"
The three tensed up instantly and began whimpering. The girls turned and were shocked to see none other than Mr. Braginski appear out of nowhere from a side corridor, complete with infamous scarf and smile. With a slow, methodical gait, he began walking towards the three frozen Baltics.
The girls began to sense that something terrible was about to happen. Elana felt sick and Elena felt a little angry. What had Mr. Braginski done to the poor boys?
"Vot are ve saying here, you tree?" Mr. Braginski put a black-gloved hand on Raivis's head, which was about two feet lower than his own. Toris and Eduard cowered and whimpered.
Mr. Braginski laughed his creepy laugh, chilling as a Russian winter. "Silly little Latvian, ve can't be telling dese girls everyting ve know!" He pressed down harder on Raivis's head, who looked like he was about to cry.
Eduard licked his lips, his eyes darting behind his glasses. "I-I... I sink I am going to be sick..." Toris let out a cry, but Eduard had already dashed off.
The Russian "tsked" with his tongue. "Latvian vill need lesson after dis... vill Lituanian come too...?"
Toris gulped, pulling at his collar.
"You stop it, you big bully!" Gwyn stepped forward and roughly slapped Russia's hand away from Latvia's head. "Stop it! You're nothing but a bully, that's what you are! You have no right to treat these boys like that! Why don't you just leave them alone?!"
Toris's eyes and mouth opened wide. Raivis gave out a short cry. Mr. Braginski turned his head towards Gwyn very slowly. Gwyn held her ground.
"Does Miss Gvyn need a lesson as vell?" The Russian asked quietly.
"I don't think I do," she replied firmly.
The world stood still in that one moment. The tension was so thick you could cut it with an iron water pipe.
"Miss Gvyn should not disrespect a teacher..."
"Aaaaaand ze teacher shouldn't, like, disrespect a student."
The voice that threw the comeback had the strangest accent yet. It was an eclectic mix of male Eastern European and... valley-girl?
With a stride that matched the sniggering, very oddly mixed voice, a young man with perfectly parted, shoulder-length blonde hair held back with sparkly pink clips, devilish green eyes, and a preppy vest-and-button-down combo swaggered up to Mr. Braginski from behind the girls and put an arm around the Russian's tall, broad shoulders.
"Ease up, Vanya. Zhey're gonna be late to class if you keep up zis shiz." He made shoo-shoo motions with his hands, then leaned back with his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised.
Mr. Braginski glared at the boy for a tense second before composing himself. "Alright ten... good-bye."
"Zank you, Feliks," Lithuania gasped as soon as Russia was out of earshot.
The weird-but-cool blonde guy grinned, throwing his arm around his friend. "No problem, broski." He gestured to the girls with a jerk of his head. "Who're zese cute ladies?"
"You're not gay?!" Elena blurted out. The rest of the girls hissed at her in shock.
"Oh my God, sveetie, like, no." Feliks laughed. "Love me some titt-ays! But anyvay, Toris, bro, ve have to, like, get to class. You too, little-bro." He pointed to Raivis, who nodded, relieved. He waved to the girls as the three left. "See ya!"
...
"...The hell was that?" Gwyn asked after a few seconds.
"How is he not gay?" Elena was completely baffled. "He had sparkly pink clips in his hair...!"
"How was he not scared?" Mariah, who was still shaking, asked.
"I guess... he was Polish... not... scared..."
And then Elena had the biggest brain-blast of all.
Could it be...?
No, that was insane.
The crazy-yet-somehow-sensible thought was interrupted by the bell. Elena dropped a loud F-bomb.
"Meet me at lunch!" She ordered. "I... it's crazy, but I think I know what's up!"
And as she and Ioana rushed to class, all she could think of was how much more and more sense the ridiculous idea was making.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abrupt chapter ending.
Abrupt chapter ending who?
