Kyoko examined herself in the mirror and sighed for the fifteenth time.
She tried to put her hair up in a ponytail.
"No."
She tried a bun, then pigtails.
"Hm, no."
She tried to curl a few chunks of her hair.
"Eh."
Kyoko sighed; it was just one of those days where no matter how she looked at herself, she just didn't look right.
Shizuo was glancing up from where he was dozing off on his bed. "Kyoko? You alright?"
"Uh, yeah." Kyoko smiled; she didn't think Shizuo would understand how she was feeling. Besides, he'd probably think she was being fickle.
"Am I your boyfriend or not?" Shizuo grunted. "Tell me what's wrong."
Kyoko shrugged. "I just feel a bit...off today."
"What?" Shizuo bolted up. "Are you sick? Do you feel queasy? Was I too rough earlier?"
"Shizuo calm down!" Kyoko said with a light blush. "That's not what I meant, I just...well, it's silly really." she trailed off.
Shizuo looked at her curiously and made himself calm down. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I guess I just see myself in the mirror and don't think I look good today." Kyoko said awkwardly. "I just feel like I look really plain, you know?"
"Yeah, you are." Shizuo said.
Kyoko narrowed her eyes at him. "Huh?! Geez, you're suppose to say I'm cute or something."
Shizuo looked surprised. "You are cute."
"You just said I was plain." Kyoko reminded him with a slight frown.
"That's why you're attractive." Shizuo said; he went over and picked Kyoko up, setting her down gently on the bed. "You're not flashy or anything. You're down to earth, simple, and mild. You cook good food."
Shizuo trailed a hand up and down her arm. "I feel relaxed around you. You're everything I want to be. You make me feel...normal."
He buried his face in her hair with a contented sigh. "If that's what plain means, then you're pretty damn plain."
"Shizuo." Kyoko smiled and pecked his cheeks. "That's why I love you."
"Huh?" Shizuo said confused. "I'm not normal."
Kyoko giggled. "Well, not completely, but you're a pretty mild sort of guy. You'd be the kind of guy a girl wouldn't be worried to meet her family."
"If I didn't accidentally smash anything." Shizuo muttered. "I barely have any self control."
"That's only a part of who you are though." Kyoko said. "I'm not perfect. I jump to conclusions, I don't think things through, I can be insensitive and end up missing important stuff. I'm an airhead and I can be stubborn."
"You're not weak willed." Shizuo said with a slight grin. "You're stronger than me emotionally."
He held her tightly. "I don't know what I'd do if you left me."
Kyoko looked at him in surprise. "What? Shizuo, where'd this come from?"
"It's nothing." Shizuo petted her head soothingly with a soft smile. "Don't worry about it. I won't let you go without a fight anyway."
Kyoko smiled. "Okay."
"Shizuo's been acting...kinda weird lately." Kyoko thought absently. She couldn't understand how though; Shizuo was the same as he always was, quiet, unassuming, and temperamental, but quick to calm down. He was considerate and gentle with her, almost painfully so, and Kyoko had no real complaints, other than Shizuo's lack of tact.
Kyoko studied Shizuo as he slept; he was a heavy sleeper for sure and she enjoyed seeing him so at peace.
"What is it?" Kyoko wondered as she watched Shizuo snort in his sleep; he grumbled something and then fell silent. "I just feel like he's hiding something."
What could it be? Was something happening at work? No, Shizuo always vented to her about that kind of stuff anyway; if anything was happening, she'd have known already. Was he depressed? No, he wasn't sulking or mopey.
"Is he actually worried I might leave?" Kyoko asked herself. "Nah, that's ridiculous. He knows I'm happy; maybe it's just my imagination. Shizuo wouldn't worry about something like that."
Shizuo frowned slightly and grunted in his sleep; Kyoko soothed her fingers lightly over his forehead and his frown went to a small smile.
"Hm, like a little kid." Kyoko smiled and resisted the urge to kiss him.
That one thought, that one nonchalant comment, that little inkling of an idea, made her think.
Shizuo could be very single minded, like a kid.
He could be oddly possessive and overprotective, even borderline paranoid; if Kyoko was talking with another male, Shizuo would move closer to her, looming over her as she talked. Like a menacing guard dog.
He frequently checked up on her throughout the day, which was nice, but it made Kyoko wonder if he was doing it because he loved her or because he wanted to monitor her.
"No, that can't be right." Kyoko admonished herself. "Shizuo isn't like that at all..."
Still, he made off sounding comments; like earlier, when he said he'd fight for her. It sounded romantic, but Kyoko couldn't help feel like he was really saying something else; his tone was firm, almost like what he really meant was that he wouldn't let her go.
"I guess I can't say this is the first time I've noticed this." Kyoko admitted to herself. "But what should I do?"
"Kyoko?"
Shizuo blinked bleary eyes, voice groggy and soft; Kyoko smiled down at him slightly.
"Yeah?"
"Can you get me some warm milk? I'm thirsty." he mumbled as he nuzzled her hand.
Kyoko smiled; he could be so cute. "Sure thing."
"Thanks babe." Shizuo yawned and rolled over so she could get up.
Kyoko went to her kitchen and began heating up some milk; as an afterthought, she cut a slice of the cake she had bought the other day.
Shizuo woke up fully seeing the cake and milk.
"Thanks!" he dug right in and sipped his warm milk carefully; Kyoko watched him, deep in thought.
"Is everything okay?" Shizuo asked suddenly.
"Shizuo…" Kyoko began; she wasn't sure how she wanted to say it.
"I was thinking...maybe we need some space from each other."
"...what?"
"This is all happening so fast." Kyoko said carefully. "I mean, we've only known each other for a year, and for most of that time we were friends. I feel like our relationship is speeding up too rapidly." she chuckled nervously. "We might as well be married already."
"Why aren't we?"
It was Kyoko's turn to stare at him in shock. "What? Shizuo, I already told you, it's way too soon-"
"Well, why not?" Shizuo asked, his brow furrowing as he took her hand in his. "We love each other, why don't we get married? Are you ever going to say yes?"
Kyoko frowned sadly. "Shizuo, I don't know how long it'll be until I'm ready for that kind of commitment."
"Well, what about kids?" Shizuo's tone grew harsher; he couldn't understand why she was being like this all of a sudden. "Don't you want any? Don't you see any future for us? Don't you love me?!"
"Shizuo," Kyoko's lips trembled. "You're hurting me."
Shizuo pulled his hand away as if he was touching hot iron.
"I'm sorry, Kyoko, I didn't even realize-"
"Shizuo, I know, it's okay. You'd never hurt me on purpose." Kyoko said softly.
Shizuo looked down at his hand unseeing.
"Don't beat up yourself, I'm okay." Kyoko tried to smile; she sighed lightly. "I think it'd be best if we took a break. I'm just really confused, and I think you might be too."
"I'm not confused." Shizuo said firmly.
"I think we might want different things from each other. I love you, but I need some time to think."
Kyoko squeezed Shizuo's hand and slowly walked out of the room and out of his apartment.
"I have to think carefully about this." Kyoko thought as she walked home. "Shizuo deserves someone who knows what they want. I need to figure out whether we should keep going on like this. I feel like he's too attached. Or am I not attached enough?"
As Kyoko tried to straighten out her feelings, Shizuo was still sitting in the bed; he slowly laid back down, staring at the milk and cake on his night stand.
"Kyoko...dammit." he rolled over to the side she usually slept and buried his face into the pillow.
Shizuo bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood; he pulled out his cigarettes with shaky fingers.
"I screwed up…"
