A/N: Heyyy! I know it's been a while, but real life has just been chaotic and writer's block decided to sneak up on me. But thank you guys for being so patient and for all the awesome reviews. I know I say it every time, but I also mean it every time. :)

Okay, now onto the chapter! I've been meaning to write this upcoming conversation for a long time now, and it did make me tear up myself, so... sorry in advance?

I don't own TMNT (or the song I put in here).


It's after dinner and I'm lying in bed, the supposedly soft fleece blanket tangled and scratchy around my legs. The guest room is dim and cold; I have no reason to turn on the lights. Why even bother with light when all you can see is darkness?

I don't remember much about dinner. I just remember being too drained to even eat or to pay attention to the quick glances passed at me and just picked at my food, even though Mikey's jalapeno-jelly bean pizza is supposedly so good, it's "to die for."

Ha.

Then I quickly excused myself from the table and trudged off to the guest room, probably concerning everyone, but whatever. How much more can I worry them, when I've worried them so much already?

So here I am, in bed, with my messed-up brain that's still reminding myself of how many things I've done wrong, again.

I feel bad about not eating Mikey's food, when he put so much effort into it, probably - especially - to cheer me up. I feel bad about Mikey's crestfallen face, which he tried to hide, but failed.

And then there's everything else I feel bad for. For being a failure. A screw up. A terrible son. A terrible brother.

I feel bad about hiding everything I've been going through for so long from my brothers.

But even more, I feel bad about showing my darkness all to them, dragging them into my mess I'm supposed to fix on my own. Which, for the record, is not going very well, alone or not.

I bury my face in the scratchy blanket, try to push it all away, but they won't escape me. They just keep coming back. The feelings. The emotions. The thoughts. The hurt. The pain.

They're all never going to leave me, no matter how hard I try. I'm always going to be sinking in the darkness, forever and ever and ever.

Creeeeaaak.

The door to the room is slowly sliding open, providing a cracking sliver of light into this dark room (which doesn't even compare to the darkness of my mind). I hear footsteps as a turtle enters the room, not too loudly, but not softly, either, yet with an added edge of care to them. Mikey.

I lift my face and contort my face into a pained smile, the best I can give when all I want to do is huddle in a desolate corner filled with spider webs and misery and cry.

He doesn't say anything, and neither do I as he nears the bed. He plops down next to me and reveals a worn-out radio he's been holding in his hands. He pushes the ON button, and suddenly, words filled with so much meaning and truth ring out.

I want to hide the truth
I want to shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

Salty tears are cascading down my cheeks as I feel the pain of this mystical singer. I know what he means. I know exactly what he means.

"Don't you see, Leo?" Mikey whispers. "You're not alone, bro, and you're not- you're not-" his voice cracks.

Shaking, I wipe my tears and look up, and see I'm not the only one who's crying at this song.

"You're not the only one who feels that way," Mikey finishes, the tears spilling out of his eyes, sliding streakily down his cheeks, falling clumsily onto his plastron.

And then he's hugging me, squeezing me so tight, bringing me much-needed warmth and comfort, but I don't care. The tears are still falling, my heart is still breaking, the pain is still hurting, but none of that matters, not when my brothers are here to save me from my own darkness, my own demons.

We stay glued to each other for the entirety of the song, and when the tears have (mostly) ceased, Mikey slowly pulls away and looks me in the eye, his baby blue eyes filled with so much maturity and openness than I've ever seen before.

"It's not always easy being the one you're supposed to be, Leo," he says. "I'm supposed to be Dr. Prankenstein, right? The goofball. The happy one. All. The. Time. Even when I'm not feeling it. Right?"

He stares at me with so much intensity, I have to look away. I'm not used to this from anyone, least of all my little brother.

He continues. "And when I don't feel happy at all, when I'm sadder than our enemies when we beat the shell out of them, I'm not supposed to show it. I'm still supposed to be happy, still silly little Mikey. Right? Right? Right?"

My eyes flick back towards him. My throat feels so dry. My eyes are starting to water, again. "Mikey-"

"You're not the only one who hides behind a mask, Leo," he whispers. Then it's his turn to look away as the tears build up in his eyes.

You're not the only one who hides behind a mask. When did he say those words to me, before? Was it really just a few days ago? Because it feels like so much more.

How can so much happen in so little time?

How can so much change in so little time?

You're not the only one who hides behind a mask.

Now I understand what my youngest brother means by such a seemingly simple, short sentence. He tries to always be happy, just as I try to always be fearless, perfect, anything but a failure. And when he can't be happy, he hides it all, just like me. Buries the pain away, masks himself with a masquerade of anything but the hurt he's feeling. He doesn't want anyone else to be hurt, he doesn't want anyone else to worry, he wants everyone else to think that he is okay, completely fine, because their happiness matters more than his.

Just like me.

"Mikey-" I breathe, but I can't get any more words out.

He gets it, he gets it, he really does get it.

He knows about this darkness that I'm trapped in. He knows how much it hurts, even if we hurt a little differently. He knows what I'm going through, and how it's breaking not just me, but all of us.

Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

I don't realize I'm crying again, or that he's hugging me again, or that he's crying again, too, until he lets go.

"I can help you, Leo," he's saying. "I know it's hard for you, bro, but it was hard for me too. At least you won't have to do it alone."

I stare at him, trying to understand that last sentence. Did he deal with this alone? How did he do that?

Maybe my little brother is much stronger than I - or any of my other brothers - ever thought.

Shakily, I wipe my eyes. Take a deep, shuddering breath. "Mikey- I- we- we're both going to get through this together, okay? You are never alone either, little brother."

He smiles a little, but I can see the sadness that still lies in his baby blue eyes. But maybe that's what he sees in my eyes, too.

"Okay," he finally mumbles. Then he turns back to me. "I love you, Leo. You're the best oldest brother anyone could ever ask for."

That makes me smile. "I love you too, Mikey. You're the best youngest brother-" I pause. "-and the best prankster, anyone could ever ask for."

"Really?"

I nod. "Of course."

He gives me one last bone-crushing hug before getting off the bed and turning to the door. But before he leaves, someone calls out, "Wait!"

It takes a second for my brain to realize, it's me who said that.

Mikey spins around. "What, Leo? Do you need something? Do you need some more blankets?" He spins around again. "Hang on a sec, I'll go get you some-"

"No!"

Mikey freezes.

"No," I say, more calmly this time. "I- I was wondering, do you want to sleep here tonight? By me?"

He turns around, his face breaking out into a smile. A genuine smile. "Of course, Leo!" He climbs into bed next to me and almost immediately falls asleep, his warmth radiating out to me.

It doesn't matter that his bed is meant for one human being and is already a little small for mutant turtles to begin with. My mind finally feels at peace, with my brother next to me. I'm not alone. Maybe I'm stuck in this seemingly everlasting darkness, but at least I have my brother with me, to help me. To save me.


A/N: How was that? A happy-ish ending to a chapter, for once. I think we all needed that.

I don't own "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. I remember when it was so popular a few years ago, but I hadn't heard it since until a couple days ago at work. I feel like I have a new appreciation for the song, though, now that I understand the lyrics a bit more.

Anyway. Reviews and feedback are always welcome!