((Sorry for the wait. College classes are crashing down on me, making me slack off in my writing joys. Anyway, everyone keeps inquiring to other characters in the story besides Hermione. I hope this will show you a little into the minds of everyone else. I hope you like, please review!))
Chapter 12:
Seen Through the Eyes of Others
"How are things progressing, Miss Granger?"
Hearing Dumbledore call her by her real name startled her slightly. She'd almost forgotten who she was in all the silliness. "Things are progressing well, Headmaster. I've made good grounds with Draco Malfoy."
The old man looked at her over his half moon spectacles knowingly. "As I've seen, Miss Granger. According to the other students, you two are inseparable; in love."
Hermione felt her cheeks flush. She had been trying to make her and Draco seem to be just another couple. She had no intention of the school discovering how close they have gotten. Apparently, she had failed terribly. It was just so difficult to not show the feelings that filled her with butterflies every time she was near Draco.
"That's how I've made it seem, Professor. Draco has admitted his feelings for me have sharpened, gone deeper. I would agree that love would be a good word for it." She sounded calm, all business.
Thank Merlin.
He chuckled. "That is not all that I've been hearing, Miss Granger," He stood up from behind his desk and walked to stand to her, "I've heard from several professors that you, too, have been bitten by love's sting. Is this true?"
Hermione was at a loss for words. The ball was in six hours and she had plans to be getting ready with Pansy. So, it's safe to say that she was shocked when she was summoned up to the Headmaster's office for 'disciplinary reasons' via a first year. At first she was actually assuming that she was in trouble for something. Perhaps it had to do with the first years she and Pansy frightened? But, never did she imagine that Dumbledore wanted an update. They weren't scheduled again to meet until early November. Now, she understood why she was summoned. He had heard of her falling for a certain platinum blonde and was concerned about it.
Not good. "I don't know what you mean, Professor." Her voice barely waivered.
He gave her a sad smile. "From the look in your eyes, Miss Granger, yes, you do."
She looked at her feet, suddenly becoming very interested with a worn part of her boot. Honestly, she wasn't avoiding his eyes; she was just very concerned about her boots. They were her favorite pair, you know. Sure, every part of her was shivering in fear of being caught doing the one thing she was forbidden to do. And sure, he was looking at her with concern. None of that mattered, though. She just really loved her boots.
"Hermione, look up at me." Dumbledore's voice was quiet and caring.
She did as he asked and looked him in the eye. Every denial that she was coming up with in her mind faltered at his caring gaze and she found herself unable to lie to the man who has become somewhat of a grandfather. "I've failed, haven't I?"
Dumbledore gave a small smile. "Falling in love is in no way failing, Hermione. The question that I have here is; are you still strong enough to do what needs to be done in this task?"
That would be the million dollar question. One that Hermione has thought over millions of times over the past two weeks. Falling in love was great once you looked at it for what it was. However, the moment you looked at it logically, in this situation, it was just downright unacceptable.
As for whether or not she was strong enough to do what needed to be done, she was certain she was. It wasn't really a matter of strength—it was a matter of will power. What Dumbledore should've been asking was whether or not she would be willing to do what needs to be done. She had pondered and pondered over that question and tried to avoid the answer she would undoubtedly decide upon. Now, with Dumbledore staring at her over his half moon spectacles, she had to face that decision head on.
"Yes. I understand with every fiber of my being that I fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. However, I am not willing to let that jeopardize our mission. In the end, once we've made it to the final battle, I will what needs to be done. I will not fail you or the Order." It was almost physically painful for her to say.
The old Headmaster must have noticed her pain, but chose to not say anything about it. "I'm glad you still have your mind set," he sat back down behind his desk. "Thank you for the update, my dear. I shall see you in a few weeks time."
She turned quickly, anxious to get out the door as soon as possible—the escape before the tears fell. She was barely out the door when Dumbledore's low voice trailed to her ears. "Hermione?"
She turned and looked at him, not saying anything as she was biting her tongue to avoid the tears. He gave her a very sad smile. "I, too, know what it is like to fall for the wrong person at the wrong time. In the end, I had to betray their trust as well. I want you to know it will be painful; you will not forget or get over it. The most you can do is go on."
She was baffled by what he said, but left the room in a hurry anyway. If there was one thing she definitely did not need to talk about right now, it was love. She was knees deep in true love and knew it wasn't going to last—knew it was going to destroy her when it was over. All she needed right now was to get away. So, she ran. As her legs pumped, her brain slowed down; concentrating on the muscles in her legs as they were met by the familiar burn. The castle was void of students, all of them in their common rooms getting ready for the Halloween Ball. This was perfect, as Hermione could no longer keep the tears at bay. They fell freely and painfully as she slammed through the front doors and ran down to the lake.
Without stopping, without thinking, she plunged into the freezing lake, swimming as far out as she could. She didn't know why and certainly didn't understand it, but she needed water now. It was like it was calling to her, singing out for her presence, just like the rain did during her fight was Draco a few days earlier. The cool waves kept her soul at bay and she swam deeper and deeper into its depths. No one saw her go in, and no one knew she was there.
"Pansy would you stop pacing! Raven will be back soon enough. No need to get your knickers in a twist."
Pansy stopped her pacing to shoot a glare at Blaise as he reclined on one of the chairs next to the fireplace. He had been watching for the last ten minutes and while she generally wouldn't have minded getting his attention, she wasn't appreciating him jumping down her throat. Granted, she was probably pacing a whole in the common room floor, but she couldn't help herself. Not to mention the fact that she couldn't stop herself from glancing at the magical clock over their fireplace. Raven went to the Headmaster's office for disciplinary reasons not thirty minutes ago and was not back yet.
While this was not unheard of when students were sent away for this same reason, it didn't do well to calm her nerves. Her father would have her head if Dumbledore somehow managed to ensnare Raven into the Order. She was entrusted to keep Raven with them, on their side of the war, and was not going to let some old man destroy this for her. Also, it wasn't just her duty as a Parkinson that kept her nervous about Raven. While she only befriended her to begin with strictly because she was told to, that was not the case now. She had truly started to care for the girl and thought of her as a sister; making her all the more willing to keep her on their side of things.
"Blaise, don't you worry about this?" She started to pace again.
Blaise looked back up at her with his eyebrow raised. "Should I?"
Pansy tossed up her hands in exasperation. Really, the boy could be so thick. "Yes, you bloody well should! We were both told to keep her away from the Order. And yet, Dumbledore sends for her all of the time for either disciplinary reasons or to see that she is settling well. Don't you ever consider what would happen to us if she were to change sides? Besides, I don't want to lose my new found best friend."
Blaise looked serious for a moment before he laughed. He laughed! "Oh, Pansy, you worry too much. This is Onyx Raven we are talking about, remember? Do you honestly think she would go to a bunch of Gryffindorks? In all honesty, she's probably more Slytherin then both of us combined."
Pansy thought this over as she continued to pace. Supposing he was right, she managed to calm down a bit. Raven was very sly and hated to be toyed with, so perhaps she would see right through what the headmaster was saying. Her thoughts were stopped cold by Blaise's not so funny remark.
"Or she could be a spy. Working for the Order and only getting close to us to tell Dumbledore everything we know." He even sounded serious when he said this… something he never was.
This stopped Pansy dead in her tracks. She never even considered that thought and looked to Blaise in a panic. Then, as the two stared at each other for a moment, they burst into rhythmic chimes of laughter. That thought alone was ridiculous. There is no way anyone could fake life in the form of Raven. She was truly one of a kind and in no way sensitive. That's why she fit in so well with the Slytherins and why she was wanted by the Dark Lord so bad.
She sat on the arm of Blaise's chair. "That is by far the funniest thing you've ever said."
Blaise smirked at her. "I know. There is no way Raven is a spy. She's much too tough. Dumbledore can drill at her all he wants and the most he'll get is a sock in the—"
Pansy held up her hand to interrupt. "Yes, Blaise I get the point."
With a small smile, he laid his arm across the back of the chair. "Pans?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Do you happen to have a date for tonight's ball?" He sounded serious again… wow, twice in one night.
She almost choked on her words. "Actually, no; why do you ask?"
He shrugged. "Just wondering if you wanted to go with me as it seems I'm going stag as well."
She smirked. This was exactly what she was hoping for, but definitely did not want him to know that. "I suppose I could accommodate you."
He smirked again and stood up from the chair in one swift motion, nearly knocking Pansy off the arm in the process. "Good."
Pansy watched him walk out of the common room with a smile on her face, Raven's absence completely forgotten.
Blaise walked out of the common room with a little more bounce in his step. Ever since fifth year, he had a little crush on Pansy. He had even planned on asking her out on their first day this year. However, seeing Raven had postponed that decision for a while. After all, she was dark, alluring, and something to chase. He couldn't help himself, for he was a man who loved the chase.
That was the main reason he didn't object to getting the Dark Mark as soon as they were finished with school. He so wished to follow in his father's footsteps and hated that he was forced to wait until graduation to do so. All the while, Draco Malfoy gets a Dark Mark the summer before sixth year and given a task that was outrageously important. Had Blaise been given the task, he would have carried it out quick and swift.
Don't get him wrong, Blaise wasn't all bad. In fact, he was one of the nicest Slytherin's around. He just wanted to be powerful, an asset to the Dark Lord. While Draco was his best friend, he couldn't help but envy the guy. Sure, he might have been tortured a little here and there, but that was to be expected. When you were given a task the Dark Lord himself, you have to pull through.
Blaise himself might have been a little frightened of being given the Dark Mark for a while, but after a sit down with his father, it was decided it was the best thing. If his father thought so, he wouldn't question it.
All of this aside, he did truly care for Draco. He was his best mate and will always be. Even if the Dark Lord chose to never allow Blaise in his ranks and made Draco his second in command, Blaise would never hold it against Draco. He might be bitter for a while, but that was as far as it would go. He was even happy that Draco snared the best girl in the school. The poor bloke needed a little happiness. He just hoped it wouldn't get too far. In the end, they probably wouldn't be allowed to be together. If that happened, Blaise would be there for him.
See, Blaise Zabini isn't all that bad.
During the past few weeks, Draco had been more elated then he had been in his whole life. Not only had he fallen in love with the girl of his dreams, but she loved him back as well.
Sitting in the Room of Requirements—which he thought up to look like a grand bedroom—he thought over everything Raven had given him. Now, for the first time in his life, he had hope for the future. Before her it was an endless cycle of pain, death, and torture. With her by his side, he might be able to make it through the war after all. Perhaps, after all is said and done and they are still together, they could start a new life together just the two of them away from London.
However, now that he was alone without his light in the darkness, the shadows started to close in. Being with Raven had given him something to dwell on besides his life. Now that she was not by his side, getting ready with Pansy, he was forced to think about why he was really here at Hogwarts. Earlier this morning, he had gotten a letter from his father; one letter that said little but meant a lot.
Draco;
I'm certain you know as to why I am writing. The Dark Lord is getting anxious. You have not written any news back yet, and we are inquiring as to your reasons. We know you must have picked up something by now and would really like for you to inform us. You were given a second chance after your failure last year, and I hope you do not screw up this time.
Also, the date is still set for November 23rd. You will be sent a portkey that will transport you right to the mansion. As for Miss Raven, I do hope you have left all of the necessary hints needed to entice her, to make her want to be one of us. The Dark Lord is very stern in wanting her brought to him. He believes she will be his tool in triumph. Do not fail to bring her with you, or you will not like what will happen.
Do not disappoint me, Draco.
L.M.
While the beginning of the letter was business as usual, the minute he saw Raven mentioned his blood ran cold. He knew she was to attend the meeting, but that didn't make him any less angry. She was his—the love of his life, his other half—and hated that she would be used by the monster that is Voldemort. The Dark Lord would destroy her beauty, her light and turn her into an empty shell like he has done to him.
Draco lost everything the minute he was forced into being a Death Eater. He lost everything he enjoyed that brought him happiness. Every single light in his mind was dampened, turned to ash. All he could do was feel pain and loneliness. He would torture when told and received torture without fight. It was what was expected of him and what he would have to accept for the rest of his life.
Not Raven. She was full of such beauty and strength. While she was tough as nails, she was also as soft as they come when it came to him. After everything he had been through, all the pain he endured, she made him right again. They were fixing each other slowly, and the Dark Lord would take that from him, force him to watch as he slowly drained her of her beauty. There was a point in time where Draco would have loved to die. Although that had changed quite a bit in the last month or so, the moment his Raven disappeared he would want that fate again. He may even bring it on himself.
Laying himself back onto the grand bed, he stared up at the black ceiling, tears building in his eyes. While Malfoys never cried, Draco did on occasion, but only in private. Raven has seen him cry a few times and that was fine, for she still loved him for it. Draco Malfoy found months ago that it was just too painful to feel nothing at all but a black hole in his soul. From the moment he was branded, he got sucked into the hole. Crying a little was the only way he could ever feel anything. Now, he had that and the love he felt for Raven. While that is all he needed, he couldn't help but wonder how long it would last and whether or not it'll kill him if it ever ended.
"What do you think, Albus?" McGonagall looked worse for wear.
Dumbledore turned a sad expression to his old friend. "I'm not sure, Minerva. I have faith that Miss Granger will do what she is supposed to, that she will do as she has planned. That doesn't leave me unconcerned, however."
McGonagall nodded her head and looked to the ground in sadness. "I've never seen such love in the eyes of two so young. Not since poor James and Lilly Potter."
"I agree, Minerva. There is no doubt in my brilliant mind that Miss Granger had found true love in that of Mr. Malfoy. Despite how very much I do not want to take that from her, the war is more important than the love I feel for the child."
"Yes," the old professor McGonagall walked up to his desk with a small smile. "I love her like a daughter, myself. After all she's been through, losing her parents and her life; I hate to see that she will have the love of her life ripped from her as well."
Dumbledore looked at the photo sitting on the corner of his desk. To others it looks to be a picture of him with the old headmaster of the school. However, in reality, it was a picture of the current Order of the Phoenix, with the Golden Trio front row center. Dumbledore placed the three friends (Harry, Ron, and Hermione) in the front center, for they were the heart of the Order; their hope for the future. Now, staring at the moving photograph, he noted how Hermione would wrap her arms around the two boys one second and give them sisterly kissed on the cheek the next. She truly was the glue to the group and now that they thought she was dead, they lost a very dear spark that ignited their souls.
Soon enough, Harry, Ginny, and Ron had plans to leave the school and go search for the remaining Horcruxes, as Harry informed the Order the other night. Everyone objected, but knew it was necessary. Dumbledore knew he would need to tell Hermione, but decided to wait for as long as possible. She would undoubtedly grow worried and fret over her decision to leave their sides. Now that she was in love with Draco, he feared he might have to use that to keep her in the task.
Dumbledore just hoped the beautiful Hermione Granger prevailed in the end.
((I know, it wasn't much. Please review anyway! Thanks!))
