Terminally Ambivalent: First off, like the name. Second off, yeah, Kakashi's on the hunt, and Naruto's on the run... My money's on whoever would have the better comedic value winning. I'm glad people liked the land of dead part, it was just something I felt I should give the poor kid, since I was driving him nutters. As for Iruka and Genma... I pity them, but I'd probably figure it was good that Kakashi got some sun on that skin of his... he's probably paler than a ghost.

Celtic Reaper: Thank you, I'm glad people liked it. As for Genno and son, since a few people asked, he was the infiltrating ninja from a village that had gotten wiped out during the war taking his son with it, he was working to complete his final mission (the destruction of Konoha), when he met and took a liking to Naruto. In the end, he had the Konoha 11 running around on a treasure hunt type deal. I think he was anime only, one of the filler arcs. Thanks for liking the fic thus far, and I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.

Kenta-Sonek-Raikiri: Why do we get so much pleasure out of tormenting the poor boy? Ara ara... now I'm feeling guilty... here's the next chapter.

spottedstar2: Heh, yeah it makes sense for him to have a sense like that. Again that sense is taken with requested, but not confirmed, permission from AceroTiburon on Deviant Art. If you liked it here, go check it out there.

geetac: Thanks! I'm glad that people are liking it.

Trinity the Kitsune Kunoichi: Thank you. Will do. Am now. Yes you can, but the wait's over for now. I thought it was from chapter 1... Yep, Naruto meets mommy and daddy, and grandpa Sarutobi. Zabuza & Haku are currently indisposed and will not be making an appearance... for now. See the note on Genno up above in Celtic Reaper's response.

Anonymous: I will find out who you are yet! Mark my words! Ara ara... Don't worry about it, I have a very short memory for details like that myself so I'm not entirely surprised that others don't. Don't let me get in the way of your academics my friend, they are important to your future. Speedos, the gift that just keep giving... sometimes for ill, others for good. Well, I'm not entirely sure about them being in them... they might just be going around in the buff... *cracks a whip* BACK TO WORK I SAY! FINISH THAT ESSAY!

Silver_Bells: I wish I could claim ownership of the porn senses, but I have to give credit where credit's due, and say it's all AceroTiburon from Deviant Art, that I'm hoping and praying doesn't mind me using the Porn Senses... if she's reading this, please let me know! I don't want to offend her by using her idea without her permission. Anywhosits, here's the update.

Elemental Dragon Swordman: Yep, Naruto's with his family. And don't worry the bad part you were thinking was avoided. Enjoy!

badkidoh: thank you, updated

Alyondria: 100th review! AND it's another cool name, I have a lot of reviewers with cool names. Yeppers, parental love, though Kushina seems the type to snap spines accidentally... nah Tsunade's just desperate for her little brother to be back. Wait... two of the perviest men? I didn't know Genma was a pervert... Iruka's like a brother to him... and Kakashi... well maybe he counts as two... hmmm... Anyways... remember one thing about ninjas... they can pick locks, so the whole chastity belt ain't gonna work, good thinking though. Here's the next chapter.

90MLLu: Well, I figured that there needed to be a chapter in which people can recover from the assault of humor, while not completely killing the buzz. Sorry if I did that to people, didn't mean to. Again, AceroTiberon had great material with the porn sense thing, and I hope that she'll give me her blessing to keep using it. *puppy eye no jutsu* pwease go and wead her comics too... *end jutsu* Yeah emotional and touching chapter, I hope that it helps balance out my karma with everything else I've done to the poor boy... I'm glad that everyone really liked it, took me a couple rewrites to script them out properly. Thanks for the praises by section. Here's the next chapter... PS. should I have a special reward for reviewer number 200? Ara ara... I dunno...

jolteonforever: I'm glad I found another fan of AceronTiberon's comics here too. ^.^ Makes me smile. Yep, Naruto meets his mommy and daddy, and cries them thar manly tears of manly, manliness!

Okay folks, that's all the reviews, and I loved each and every one of them. And thusly I merely ask for ya to keep them coming. But more importantly, go and read AceroTiberon on DeviantArt's comics involving porn senses. It's good stuff. And now... without further delay... here's the story!


Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism

Chapter 11

Naruto eyes peeled open slowly as he returned to consciousness, there was something odd about his location. It was warm, fluffy, and not the rocky ground he had expected. Looking around, he could only note one thing, it was his room, rolling off the bed, he went through his apartment with a look of wonder as he pondered how he had gotten back home after falling off that toad. That's when it occurred to him, everything before had been a dream, and he would have an entertaining tale to tell Konohamaru.

Laughing he took a cup of ramen from the yawning mouth of his toad cupboard and started some water to cook it. Yeah, it was going to be a great tale to tell his friends about it, Sakura might even laugh at it. Hearing a knock at the door he stood up and walked over to it, opening it to find that it was just the mail-fox dropping off more bad new, bills. Grumbling he sat back down and ate his magic self-cooking ramen. Oh sweet ambrosia, it was the richest, most delicious beef ramen he ever had. Finishing the surprisingly deep bowl of ramen, he went over to grab his brush, and started brushing out his tail with smooth even strokes.

Eventually he finished, when something stuck his sleep ladened mind, he never got bills. And that was when everything fell apart, literally. His walls, the toad cupboard, everything was shattering like glass and collapsing around him in a cascading shower of noise. After all the noise died down, a familiar scent tickled his nose as a gruff voice called his name, he opened his real eyes after getting a paw padding on his forehead lightly. Directly above him was the perpetually unhappy face of Pakkun, as if the smell of Floral Green Shampoo wasn't enough to hint at who the dog was. "Hey boyo, what's with the napping place? It hurts my paws, see?" the dog asked while holding up his paw towards the flattened Naruto, looking offended.

Naruto reached out and rubbed the paw gently with his forefinger for a moment before he bolted upright. "Oh Kami-sama! Kakashi-sensei's here?!"

Pakkun snorted and shook his head. "No boyo, I was sent out in advance to scout for you and..." the dog started before sniffing, "Oh, that's why he wanted to find you first... he's drawn in by you being in heat..."

"I'm not! It's this stupid jutsu of Jiraiya's!" Naruto shouted defensively as he pointed wildly at the ears and tail he had not been born with. "Wait... why aren't you reacting like everyone else?"

"Simple, I'm canine, you're emitting human and vulpine pheromones," Pakkun explained off hand, before realizing the blank look on Naruto's face meant he'd lost him. "In other words, humans and foxes want you, not dogs like me."

"Oh... uhh... if I promise you a steak, would you mind leading Kakashi-sensei away from me?" Naruto asked nervously, knowing the dog's weakness.

"Make it two, and I'll only promise five hours, after that he'll know that I'm misleading him," Pakkun countered around the drool in his mouth. Loyalty to Kakashi was one thing, but this was beef, glorious delicious, ambrosia delivered by the all mother to Earth as succulent, moist beef. "I'll even give you a warning when we're getting near, deal?"

Naruto weighed the trade off in his head, realizing that it would mean that he'd be short ramen for a few weeks, but it wasn't anything a couple of missions wouldn't take care of. So with a smile he shook Pakkun's offered paw and took off.

Pakkun smiled as Naruto ran away, giving him a several minute head-start before turning back to go find Kakashi and lead him on his wild goose chase. After all, he was getting ten steaks from Kakashi for helping him out. Didn't mean that he couldn't get a few extra while he was at it, now did it?

Naruto cleared the ground as fast as he could, not really looking where he was going at the time. And that's how he ran into a tall blue haired female with a lip piercing. Sprawling out on the ground, he hurriedly offered an apology, and tried to run away, when he noticed her black cloak with red clouds. The shock on his face somehow translated into his feet growing roots into the ground.

The blue haired woman smiled as she got up, seeing Naruto and whispering that she got the nine-tails. As she sashayed close, panic filled Naruto's heart, finally breaking his shock and allowing him to make a run, only to find himself surrounded by six orange haired people, all with a vast array of piercings on their faces.

Naruto knew right then and there, he had either walked into the ugliest mosh pit ever, or he was in serious trouble. His mind locked onto the second option as husky breathing filled her ears and warm feminine arms encircled him, rubbing his front through his jacket. "Mm... so firm... you'd look good with a few piercings you know? Don't you think so, Pein baby? We've heard of his stamina... maybe the seven of us could share?"

Pein seemed to be the orange haired guy with three piercings through his nose, and a pair of fang like ones out his bottom lip. The cold, icy look seemed to alleviate some of Naruto's worries, until he spoke. "I don't know Konan... he looks like a virgin, it would take us forever to get him properly trained. And we still have to kill him for world peace..."

Naruto pounced on this tiny, if completely nerve wracking bid for freedom like the lifeline it was, because even now he could feel his zipper being undone, and Konan's fingers slipping inside, inducing a shudder from the blond virgin, who hoped to keep that status for right now, thank you very much! "Yeah! That's right, I'm a virgin," Naruto countered trying to slip out of Konan's grip, "Besides, I don't think I'd look good with earrings, or things like that."

"Who said anything about ear... rings silly boy..." Konan whispered huskily as she stalked after Naruto in the circle of Pein. "Why, I have about twenty piercings that you can't see right now."

Naruto's mind took that moment to run through the list of other places Jiraiya had told him about girls getting pierced, and the resulting twin geysers of blood was enough to send him flying into the air. Rather than passing out, or even worse, giving in to his sudden curiosity about what she had hidden, he turned around and bolted like a little boy from Orochimaru.

Back in Konoha, Sasuke and Orochimaru shared a sneeze, before returning to the tea they were sharing as part of the temporary truce.

Naruto's luck just didn't seem to be wanting to go in his favor today, as all seven of the piercing fetishists were already even with him. Summoning up one of his favorite tactics he crossed his fingers and let out a shout of "TAJŪ KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" he created enough clones to flood the entire rock valley with clones, most of them pinning down his pursuers, while he himself slipped away into the surrounding mountains, hopefully losing them. It was ten minutes later that he started getting the memories from his clones, and he really wished he didn't. It seemed that Pein, Konan, and the rest wanted him pierced, and not with rings only. He couldn't really fault his clones for dispersing before that happened to them.

Instead of waiting to find out if they figured out he had left them in the dust, he simply kept running, not caring where he went, so long as it was away from them.

Meanwhile, back with Pakkun, Iruka and Genma were still a little unnerved by the gleam in Kakashi's eye, when they saw him whip his head around and point off in the opposite direction they were heading. With a cry of "PORN SENSES HO!!!!" the speedo wearing man took off, followed after a while by Iruka and Genma, and then finally a grumbling Pakkun.

"At least I still get my steaks..."