hapter 12

Nicola POV

The small clanking of forks against plates and the steady banter between our parents is the only thing keeping me from letting my head fall into my plate of food. Mom keeps giving me her infamous look of discipline and then gives a soft smile to Jax's parents. Rather, Jaxson's parents. That's a topic that will be discussed later. I twirl my fork along the plate, until I hear Mom clear her throat, "let's talk about this then."

Robert nods, "I'm interested to hear about this." Robert sets his glass down. "I am quite interested in how my son met his girlfriend."

Mom looks to Jax and I, "it's your relationship you can tell them."

For once I let out a breath of relief, Jax gives me a glance telling me to go ahead and narrate the story. "We met in class, nothing special really. We kind of just hit it off. That day, we walked each other home. And it just progressed from there."

Jax's mother nods, "and may I ask. How long did this go on?"

"From that point to the Choosing Ceremony." Jax says.

I wish I could literally just shrink and disappear. Out of all the ways to answer that question he chooses the most honest way. I can feel Daddy's stare boring into my skull, Mom's glare heating my cheeks. Daddy drums his fingers along the table, "somehow, I recall you stating that this ended much before the Choosing Ceremony, Nicola Beatrice."

I nearly wince at my full name. "That may or may not have been a twisted statement."

"So you lied to your mother and I?"

I look to Daddy with pleading eyes, please don't do this in front of his parents. This is the first impression his parents will get of me, I wanted this to be a nice event. "Not exactly, although I think this could be discussed at a more agreeable time, Daddy?"

I can see the debate in his mind, the hesitation of what to do. "Alright. Fair enough." He looks to Robert, "so there you have it, the two of them have been dating for a long time. I didn't know that you two had no idea it was going on."

Robert shakes his head, "I didn't." He stands and shakes hands with Mom and Daddy, "Six, Four the dinner was lovely. It was very nice to meet you Nicola. We should be heading out, the walk to Amity's gates is long and I don't want to be out in the dark."

Jax stands up, "I'll walk you out the compound. Nicola I will see you tomorrow after training." He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing out the door. I start picking up plates, hoping my parents will let this go. "Nikki, this was going on even after we asked you to end it?"

I set the plates down, "I did. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You could have gotten yourselves into serious trouble if you got caught." Daddy says.

"Well, we didn't." My fingernails press into my palms, "we are safe and that's all that matters,"

"You lied to us, Nicola." Mom stands in front of me, "you deliberately disobeyed us, you blatantly disregarded what we told you. How do you know no one saw a boy clad in bright yellow or red in a Dauntless train car!"

A sharp breath is all it takes for me to lose control, "we didn't get caught Mom! Even if someone saw us they wouldn't know Jax was from Amity."

Mom raises her voice too, "how? You can't be naïve enough to believe that no one could connect the dots!"

"Because we dressed according to the Faction we were in."

Daddy stares at me, his voice always quiet, always in control. "You what?"

I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose, something Daddy does when he is under stress. "When Jax was on the trains he changed into a black t-shirt and jeans. When I visited Amity I dressed in yellow and red." I look at their expressions before going on, "it was a flawless plan. No one ever questioned us, we looked the part. Acted the part. If I wanted to I could have switched to Amity and fit in. Why do you think Jax is here? He catches on fast, he always did." I lower my voice, "we know what we are. Instead of being afraid of it, instead of allowing the fear to define us, control us. We turned it into an advantage."

Mom's jaw hangs open, "did you tell him what you are?" They told me not to tell anyone what my results were, they made me swear not tell anyone. Daddy is pacing the floor, another sign he is stressed and upset.

"Yes, because he is just like me. Both of us, Daddy you always said not to trust anyone who didn't have as much at stake as me. He has as much at stake as I do. We both have the same consequences facing us if we aren't careful. Don't think that because we are young and because we aren't as experienced as you are we can't protect ourselves. At 16, Mom you were ranked first. You had been attacked, threatened, beaten. Daddy you ranked first, you did many things that were not exactly safe to the kind of people we are. You knew the stakes when you did what you did, you knew that what you were doing was dangerous. I'm just following in your footsteps."

"We were stupid teenagers, Nicola! We made plenty of mistakes and regret many of the things we did." Mom says, "we put ourselves in so many near death experiences. Even after you were born, we found ourselves making a string of stupid decisions in regards to our Divergence."

Daddy takes a slow breath, "we will discuss this later. We all have a lot to think about. Be careful, Nicola. If you keep pushing the boundaries like this things are going to backfire."

I raise my chin, "I need to head to the dorms. I have training early tomorrow and Eric is the one running the class." I storm out the apartment before my parents can run after me. I know that when I see them next this whole conversation is going to blow up in my face.


Jax POV

My parent's are pissed. Not upset, not frustrated, they are seething. The pads of my fingers absent mindedly press the bruise on my cheek. "I'm glad you two were able to come."

My father turns to me, "what you did was dangerous. I hope you know that."

"I know. We were careful." I chew the inside of my lip.

"Careful? Everything about that was stupid, irrational, and rash." My father's voice lacks anything related to peace.

"You don't understand. No one knew we were from other factions."

It is my mother turn to speak, "I'm sorry, but that's not possible."

"It is if you are smart about it."

"Enlighten me," my mother crosses her arms, "please I am interested to hear this."

"We dressed in each others faction-"

My father's voice cuts me off, "son, I'm not sure if you have heard about this. Because you seem confused as to why this is such a problem." My father takes my arm and drags me out to the tracks, the trains roar making it nearly impossible to hear. "Son, there are people, who are killed for what they are because they are different. We call these people divergent."

"I know." My mother covers her mouth and stares at me, "I know, okay. I know what they are, why its dangerous, why I shouldn't even be having this conversation with you." If we were in Amity the way I am speaking to them would get me a nice shot of peace serum and a week in my room. "How do you know about it?"

My father frowns, "I'm one. Amity was the safest place for me to be."

I frown, "you didn't tell me? You didn't try to be somewhere where you fit in?"

"I was more worried about my safety, and I don't regret that. I didn't want to tell you. I was too afraid that you wouldn't understand the severity of it."

My hands slip into my pockets, "that was cowardly of you, Dad. You could have been brave enough to tell me, I had to talk to Nicola about it in order to calm myself down. I was stressed about it, I wanted to keep you and Mom safe. The least you could have done-" I shake my head, "no. It's over now. There's no use in dragging this out. Go on home, you need to get back before it gets dark."

My mother gives me a kiss on the forehead and my father pats me on the back, "I'm in Amity. Don't expect me to act like I'm Dauntless."

I lower my voice, "I expect you to act like a Divergent. You shouldn't cower in the face of fear, you should learn how to use it to your advantage." I turn on my heel and walk from my parents. A feeling of strength on my shoulders, like I stood up for myself as an adult. I make my way to my bed with a smile on my face for officially stepping away from Amity and embracing my life here in Dauntless.