Elizabeth rose late the next morning to find that Jane had had breakfast sent to her room. She had just finished eating when Kitty swirled in, her face smelling of lemons and her brown curls tied up in rags.
"Would you look, Lizzie? Georgiana loaned me this for the ball! She said there is a matching bracelet as well!" she exclaimed, brushing her neck to show off the thin silver necklace inlaid with diamonds. "Are they not beautiful?"
"They're beautiful and they go wonderfully with your gray eyes," agreed Elizabeth.
"Don't they?" Kitty rushed over to the mirror to gaze at herself, trying different smiles and quickly discarding them until she found one she liked. She turned to Elizabeth.
"How does this one make me look?" she asked, showing her sister her smile.
"Very becoming," complimented Elizabeth.
"But it doesn't show off my dimples," Kitty sighed in despair. She turned back to the mirror and began the process all over again.
"I wonder where Georgiana got such a beautiful necklace," she chatted gaily as she smiled and decided that she was showing too much of her teeth. She tried another smile and batted her eyelashes at herself.
"Darcy and I gave them to her for her birthday," Elizabeth answered absently as she rested her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her palm, curling her fingers toward her lips.
Kitty's new smile fell as her eyes narrowed and the ends of her lips turned downward in a pout. "Oh. It was a suitable birthday gift. She absolutely loves them."
"Then it was kind of her to lend them to you," said Elizabeth.
"Indeed," said Kitty, as she simpered at her image but let the smile fall, no longer interested in how she looked. She turned to her sister to complain about the length of her dress when she noticed the slept in bed and the absence of Elizabeth's clothing.
"This isn't your room, is it Lizzie?" she asked, her eyes lighting with curiosity.
"I slept here," answered Elizabeth, sighing internally and for a moment wishing that Kitty were Lydia. Her other younger sister would have swept in, admired herself, and left again, only half noticing that Elizabeth was in the room. Unfortunately Kitty was far more observant for all her chatter and attention to her appearance.
At that moment Darcy appeared in the doorway. "Good morning, Kitty, Elizabeth," he said. "Georgiana told me that I would find you here."
The sisters remained silent, Kitty unsure of whom he was addressing and Elizabeth only nodding coldly in response. Kitty looked between her sister and her husband, noticing the chill that wafted between them. For once she kept her thoughts to herself, though she could not wait to relate the exchange to her mother. Kitty bobbed a curtsy to Darcy, for despite her relation to him, she still found his presence to be austere and formidable, and crept from the room.
Darcy shut the door behind her and Kitty paused wondering if she should listen at the doorway. Before she could come to a decision, Georgiana appeared down the hall.
"Nan says it is time to take down your hair and wash your face," she said quietly.
Kitty linked arms with her. "Where is Darcy and Lizzie's room?" she asked conversationally.
Georgiana hesitated and Kitty kept her smile on her face, though she knew that Georgiana knew exactly what was going on between Darcy and Elizabeth. "Oh, never mind. Come along."
Darcy stood at the door, his hands clasped firmly behind him. The corner of his mouth twitched, revealing his discomfort.
"You did not knock," said Elizabeth curtly.
"You did not return last night," he said.
"I slept here."
He frowned and looked around the room, not knowing how to respond.
"Have you anything more to say?"
"For now, no," he said.
"Then would you please excuse yourself that I may get ready?"
Without another word he left the room, jerking the door shut behind him.
Elizabeth slumped in her chair as she stared moodily at the place where her husband had stood, dwelling on the events of the previous night. An urge to rush after him and ask for his forgiveness swept over her but a stubborn voice in her mind told her that it was time for him to become accustomed to apologizing. After all, of the two offenses, his was the worst. Was it even an offense, or a truth which Elizabeth was not yet ready to face? Either way he had no right to say what he had about her family. Why had he come to her room anyway? Was he expecting an apology? Well, he is not going to receive one.
"Am I just being stubborn or petty?" she asked to the air. No answer came and she pushed herself out of the chair with a groan. She would go mad if she sat in the room all day and dwelled on last night.
Elizabeth knocked gently at Georgiana's door. It was opened by Kitty whose face was now covered in a white creme.
"I thought this was Georgiana's room," she said as Kitty pulled her in.
"It is, but she said I could ready here. Come I need you to recommend which slippers I should wear this evening."
Kitty shut the door and dragged Elizabeth over to her trunk. She sank to the floor and pulled out four pairs of slippers.
"The blue," said Elizabeth immediately not allowing Kitty the chance to point out the pros and cons of each pair.
"That is what Georgiana said," replied Kitty as she stuffed the other three pair back into her trunk.
"Where is she?" asked Elizabeth.
"I'm here." Georgiana sat curled up in a chair, a book resting in her lap.
"I told her she mustn't read so often," said Kitty. "How ever will she understand young men if she does not review each one and compare them? Now that Mr. Errington was quite attractive, his—,"
"I believe Georgiana is trying to read," interrupted Elizabeth shortly, not in the humor for Kitty's senseless chatter.
Kitty fell silent as her mouth became a thin line. "I can see why Darcy won't share a bedroom with you. You're insufferable!" She tossed her hair and stalked from the room.
"Does anyone else want to be angry with me?" asked Elizabeth.
Georgiana shifted uncomfortably. "Elizabeth I—I heard you last night. I went and got Jane," she admitted quietly as her face crimsoned.
Elizabeth sighed and sank onto Georgiana's bed. "I'm sorry," she said, unsure of what else to say.
Georgiana nodded and played with the end of one of her curls. Suddenly Elizabeth realized why she must be so quiet. Georgiana was also Darcy's sister. It was not fair to make her feel caught in the middle of their argument.
"Well, I suppose I had better begin preparing for this evening. I do not want to be late." She tried to smile, but her lips did not cooperate and her smile turned out to be more of a grimace. Elizabeth left Georgiana's room and decided to do as she had said she would and returned the room that had been given to her and Darcy to prepare for the evening.
Elizabeth emerged from her dressing room hours later, dressed for the evening. Darcy rose when she entered the room.
"One of the servants summoned us downstairs."
She nodded and took his proffered arm. His glance revealed that he had noticed that the distance she maintained between them was that of a courting pair. He said nothing and made no motion to move closer. They left the room together and descended the stairs to the first floor as guests flowed into the foyer. Elizabeth moved slightly closer to Darcy, not wanting anyone to recognize and interpret the space between them.
Darcy and Elizabeth shared three dances the entire evening, though Elizabeth was delighted to see that Georgiana danced frequently with men of her choice. Kitty of course tried to dance with every man available.
She was standing at the refreshment table when she caught sight of Caroline Bingley standing next to Darcy, deep in conversation, though it appeared one sided. She saw Elizabeth watching her and smirked prettily before turning to her sister, Mrs. Hurst, and saying something that made the both of them laugh.
The long awaited moment of the ball arrived when the time came to slice the Twelfth Night Cake. Jane stood beside Charles as she took the knife and sliced the first piece as the gathered guests burst out in applause. She blushed and slid the piece onto a plate and handed it to Charles.
She sliced the next piece for herself and then the servants swept in, slicing and distributing slices to the eager guests. Every young woman searched eagerly for the bean and prayed that she had not received the villainous clove or the foolish twig and secretly hoping, that if she did not receive the bean, she would get the tarty rag.
Jane came to Elizabeth's side, carrying a second plate. She handed it to Elizabeth.
"And when you finish that one, you can eat this one," she said.
"Don't you want to find the bean?" asked Elizabeth, taking her slice.
"Not at the risk of being indisposed for the rest of the evening because the cake was too rich." Jane wrinkled her nose, making Elizabeth laugh.
A burst of exclamations rang out as a young man found the hidden clove in his slice. All the young women around him giggled as the young men applauded him and clapped him on the back.
Another young woman burst into sobs as she found a twig.
"People put far too much concern into what they receive," observed Elizabeth.
Jane's lips quirked into a small smile. "If I recall correctly you were quite excited when you received the bean last year."
Elizabeth imitated Kitty's indignant sniff and Jane giggled.
A quarter of an hour later, the bean had still not been found. The young women forgot about the proper lady's appetite and returned to the table for second, third, and even fourth slices of cake as the young men urged them on.
Elizabeth started on Jane's slice of cake, savoring its rich taste. She decided that even should she be with child at this time next year, she would rather be sick for the rest of the evening than miss it.
She took another bite and her lips puckered.
"Is something wrong?" asked Jane in concern as Elizabeth raised her hand to her mouth.
Elizabeth shook her head and spit the bean out into her hand, her eyes widening in surprise. Jane was about to call attention to her when she grabbed her sister's hand.
Jane looked at her in surprise. "What is it? You found the bean!"
"I—I don't want to be Queen," replied Elizabeth.
Jane looked puzzled. Elizabeth and Kitty had always competed for the bean as children. She remembered how sick Elizabeth had been after eating seven slices of cake to find it when she was thirteen.
"I shall return shortly," said Elizabeth and she hurried off before Jane could stop her. She skirted through the crowd, searching for Georgiana. She found her in a chair surrounded by young men, urging her to get a third slice of cake.
"You'll be the most beautiful Queen," said one.
"The crown shall become you," insisted another.
"Yes, Georgiana, I do not see the harm in a third slice," added Elizabeth. Georgiana looked up, her cheeks flushed from all the attention. "Come, we shall get another slice together."
Georgiana rose and followed Elizabeth to the table which was surrounded by a crowd of young men. When they turned from the table, there were no more slices left.
"There's no more," said Georgiana, sounding relieved.
Elizabeth sighed. "I suppose not."
Georgiana looked at Elizabeth, her eyebrows arching in surprise. "The bean, you have it!"
Elizabeth's lips parted as Georgiana took her hand and opened up her fingers. The small, white bean rested in the middle of her palm. Her eyes met Georgiana's and the girl smiled as she realized what her sister had attempted to do. Before either of them could say anything, the young woman beside them noticed the bean in Elizabeth's outstretched hand.
"She has it! The bean! Mrs. Darcy's found the bean!"
Guests rushed to their side, the young women to examine it and offer their sincere congratulations as they attempted to hide their envious expressions, and the young men in the hope of being selected as King.
Charles and Jane approached Elizabeth, Jane carrying a beautiful crown, woven of ivy and beautiful blue flowers. She handed the crown to her husband and he set it gently upon Elizabeth's head and bowed. Jane dropped into a deep curtsy as Charles straightened and announced loudly,
"I crown thee, Elizabeth Darcy, Queen of Twelfth Night."
Caroline draped an ethereal mantle of sheer, white material upon Elizabeth's shoulders and handed her a scepter of wood wound with ivy and the flowers that matched her crown.
"Your majesty, please name your king," said Charles.
Elizabeth looked about the room and found Darcy. For a moment her anger at him pulsed through her and she was urged to select another as King.
"I name Fitzwilliam Darcy as my King."
After Darcy had been crowned they led a dance and then Darcy excused himself, much to the disappointment of the young women who had waited to dance with the King. As Queen of Twelfth Night, Elizabeth was asked for dance after dance. The young Mr. Errington approached her and bowed over her hand.
"May I have this dance or shall your king have my head?" he asked, his blue eyes twinkling up at her.
Elizabeth smiled. "I am Queen and therefore possess the right to give my consent to whomever I would care to dance with. I would be delighted."
Mr. Errington swept her out onto the floor.
"Mrs. Darcy, that crown certainly becomes you," he said.
Elizabeth's lips twitched. "Why, thank you. Georgiana said you were a wonderful dancer. I see she was quite accurate."
"And Miss Bingley said you were but a mediocre partner. I see she has not danced with you as you dance wonderfully." He frowned. "I apologize, I should not have spoken ill of Miss Bingley."
She grinned. "Do not worry; your slip is safe with me."
He grinned back. "I believe you are quite capable of keeping a secret."
"I find that the highest compliment I have received this evening," Elizabeth jested. "A compliment exempt from the limitations and expectations of my sex."
Mr. Errington laughed. "You are the most delightful conversationalist I have encountered this evening, perhaps barring only your sister, Jane."
"I have seen you quite often with Georgiana."
He faltered, unsure of how to respond. Elizabeth's eyes crinkled with amusement.
"But she's quiet. It is difficult to converse with her, though every time she speaks it is to provide the most delightful conversation." Elizabeth leaned closer to him, her eyes shining. "Do not worry; neither shall I reveal how you found conversing with a young lady difficult. It is quite obvious it would raise questions of your reputation. I would not want to be the one responsible for tainting it!"
Mr. Errington threw back his head and laughed, making Elizabeth blush. When the dance was over, he bowed over hand once more.
"Mr. Darcy is fortunate to have a wife such as you. I only wish I should be so lucky to find such a woman."
Elizabeth stood speechless as he kissed her hand and sauntered away. The man was a shameless flirt! A shameless, charming flirt.
When the evening had slipped away and dawn teased across the horizon, Elizabeth retired to the room she had occupied the night before and after disrobing, fell gratefully in to bed.
A few awkward days passed at Blithebury. Elizabeth and Darcy hardly spoke to one another, and Georgiana, feeling caught in the middle, said little. Mrs. Bennet carried on constantly, much to the embarrassment of Elizabeth and Jane. Every time Mrs. Bennet graced them with her complaints of her nerves and the young men's' lack of interest in Kitty, Elizabeth wanted to cringe, remembering Darcy's words. Caroline constantly tried to attract Darcy's attention, but to Elizabeth's secret delight, he was unresponsive. Therefore Caroline spent much time with her sister, Mrs. Hurst, wondering as loud as she could why it was that Darcy was so quiet and why Elizabeth was hardly her usual spunky self. Jane tried to redirect the conversation, but Caroline politely refused to be diverted.
At the end of the week Darcy and Elizabeth decided to end their stay as it only made the others' time with one another uncomfortable. Charles and Jane protested but Darcy and Elizabeth stood firm.
Elizabeth embraced her father goodbye. She could see sadness within the lines of his wrinkled face. Now that she really looked at him, he looked so much older than the father she remembered. Older and lonelier.
"Are you happy, Lizzie?" his faded eyes looked deep into hers and she strained to prevent hers from looking away.
"It shall pass, father. We have a few things to sort out, but that is a part of marriage, is it not?"
Mr. Bennet nodded though he did not look as happy as Elizabeth fervently wished he would. She could feel her own heart sinking through her chest and loneliness filled her as she studied his face. Impulsively she flung her arms around him as tears crept into the corners of her eyes. "This summer, when Jane has her baby, she, Kitty, and I shall come to Longbourn to keep you company."
"I shall like that," her father said softly. Elizabeth stood back and nodded as she tried to smile at her father. She bade the rest of her family goodbye and Lon, the Darcys' coachman, helped her into the coach. She settled next to Kitty and turned as the coach pulled away. She waved forlornly to her father until he faded to but a spot before an ever shrinking Blithebury.
The ride home was silent but for Kitty's endless chatter. For once, Elizabeth was thankful for it because it kept the tense silence away.
That evening, at Pemberley once more, Elizabeth went to her bedroom and readied for bed, preparing to leave as soon as Darcy entered the room. She waited for two hours and still he did not appear. Setting her jaw, she went to the door and locked it. He would not come in if the door was locked. Elizabeth extinguished the lighting in the room and drew the screen in front of the dying fire. She climbed into the bed and drew the covers up to her chin and closed her eyes, forcing her body to relax.
Elizabeth felt as if she were falling into the darkness of a cavernous cave as she lay in bed, unable to sleep. When she finally did drift off to sleep, it was restless, and she awoke a short time later, the absence of warmth beside her drawing her from sleep. A feeling of nakedness descended upon her and she drew the covers closer about her. The dark, gaping hole of Darcy's absence rose above her, its head arched to strike as it threatened to swallow her. Elizabeth sniffed in the darkness and quickly scrubbed the tears from her face, chiding herself for crying. She tried to hold the sobs in but they pressed themselves from her chest, making her gasp as she clutched the pillow, her lips trembling as tears pooled down her cheek and soaked the soft fabric upon which her head rested.
She pressed her face into the pillow as warm tears flowed down her cheeks until the bittersweet release of sleep swept over her and she descended into a restless slumber.
Elizabeth had never realized how large Pemberley was, even when Darcy was away. Now it spread around her, its lonely halls seeming to span about her interminably. Her hands remained cold from the lack of contact that they had with his warm one, her arms tingled from the absence of his caresses, and her mind lamented the loss of the sound of his wife.
She tried to push the feelings from her; she never felt them when he was away. Her lack of a comfortable night of sleep left her with an irritable mood and a splitting headache. Elizabeth sat in a chair in a parlor after breakfast, attempting in vain to concentrate on a page of her book. Her mind constantly wandered to Darcy and what he was occupying himself with. She gritted her teeth in frustration. It had been like this since she'd returned home; her mind would not concentrate on the task before her, but wandered constantly to Darcy's whereabouts. She was about to fling the book from her in annoyance when she noticed Kitty before her, dressed in a warm cloak with her skates thrown in determined carelessness over her shoulder.
"Would you like to go ice skating?" she asked.
"Ask Georgiana," replied Elizabeth without looking up. "I am busy."
"You are no fun," whined Kitty, her lips pouting.
Her older sister looked up, her brow creasing in irritation. "Your pouting shall not work on me," she said shortly. "You have been spoiled enough."
"Spoiled!" squealed Kitty. "Lydia gets to go to Brighton with the officers, Mary gets to stay home, Georgiana—,"
"Kitty," sighed Elizabeth in exasperation. Kitty's pitch only aggravated the dull pounding in her head.
"It's not fair! I never get to have fun," Kitty whined, her voice rising an octave.
"You've been to two balls in the past two weeks," said Elizabeth incredulously.
"And you watched me the entire time like a hawk watches a mouse," retorted Kitty. "You never watch Georgiana like you watch me! And you never tell her no or you're too busy."
"Georgiana does not bother me when I am busy," Elizabeth shot back, placing a hand to her forehead. Her stomach began to churn unpleasantly.
"It's because you love her more than you love me!" cried Kitty.
Elizabeth's mouth fell open. "That is nonsense, Kitty! You are my sister!"
"I've seen you with her. You always look so happy, like she is the perfect sister, the sister you always wanted," sobbed Kitty, letting her skates fall to the floor with a clatter, making Elizabeth wince as her cheeks reddened with shame.
She had thought that Georgiana was the sister she always wanted, besides Jane. But she hadn't really meant it. Kitty was her sister and Kitty had her merits, though it was sometimes difficult to name them immediately.
"Kitty, I will not speak to you while you speak of such nonsense," Elizabeth said sharply. "Why don't you go to your room and we'll discuss this when you are feeling rational."
"See, you just want to get rid of me! Since that's what you want Lizzie, I'm leaving. Living with Jane was more fun anyway," shouted Kitty and she turned and fled before Elizabeth could reach her.
Elizabeth winced and sank into a chair and buried her face in her hands. She sat for a few moments, trying to soothe her headache. Her stomach lurched as she tried to stand again, determined to go after Kitty.
A hand pushed her gently back onto the sofa. "You'd better stay seated," insisted Darcy.
Elizabeth tried to smile as her stomach lurched unpleasantly once more and her headache pounded in her temples. The room suddenly seemed very warm.
A rush of nausea swept over her and Darcy took one look at her face before he grabbed a decorative vase. He held it to Elizabeth's lips just as the contents of her breakfast rose and she vomited into the vase and burst into tears.
He set the vase aside, calling for Mrs. Reynolds as he wiped Elizabeth's mouth with a handkerchief and picked her up.
Mrs. Reynolds came running and Darcy instructed her to call for a doctor and empty the vase. She set to work immediately as Darcy carried Elizabeth up the stairs and laid her down on the bed. He helped his still sobbing wife into her nightgown. Meredith arrived with cloths soaking in cold water. He sent the maid away and wrung out on of the cloths, placing it gently on Elizabeth's forehead as she closed her eyes.
Her sobbing quieted and she felt the coolness of the cloth penetrate the heat of her face.
Elizabeth opened her eyes to see Darcy and the doctor standing over her, speaking in hushed words. Darcy nodded and escorted the doctor from the room. A few moments he returned and noticing that Elizabeth was awake again, he smiled gently.
"The doctor says you should be back on your feet come tomorrow," he reported softly.
Elizabeth reached for his hand and he took it. His dark eyes were sober as he looked at their clasped hands and sat upon the bed beside her.
"Elizabeth, I owe you an apology. You were trying to speak to me about an important issue and I refused to listen. Not only did I refuse to listen, but I insulted your family inexcusably. Please," he said, his eyes searching hers and pleading with her, "these last two weeks without you have been unbearable. I could not sleep, I was never hungry, and everything I did seemed so trivial. Please, please forgive me."
Elizabeth smiled weakly. "As Jane said, I believe we each spoke a little too truthfully for the other's liking. But I have not been able to sleep over the past two weeks without you at my side and I am exhausted. We may discuss this matter later." With her free hand she motioned for Darcy to lay down beside her.
He did so and tentatively, he reached out and gently wrapped his arms around her. Elizabeth felt his warmth and comfort surround her and for the first time over the past two weeks, she felt herself relax and release herself into the security of his embrace. As tender slumber crept over her, she felt her concerns drift to the back of her mind. Having her husband beside her once more was all that mattered for now.
