It is the most annoying, irritated feeling! I really do hate it! I hate this… emptiness.
I mean, I still can't wrap my head around it.
I was on a backpacking with the guys. That I know for sure.
Then on the last day, I went to get a photo of the sunrise. That I'm sure of.
The next thing I remember is waking up in a hotel and being told I vanished for THREE YEARS?!
But I have no knowledge of where I was or what happened to me. The doctors checked me over and said I'd… umm… 'had intercourse' recently but… well, I can't remember.
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I don't think I was assaulted, when the police asked me, I had no memory but the idea made me feel repulsed, like the idea of being forced by… whoever… was sickening.
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I wish I could remember.
"Rin?"
Laura. "Yes Laura?"
"How are you feeling today?"
"Better."
She looks sad. "You still cried yourself to sleep."
I nod, knowing that I had. For some reason, something in my lost memories, whenever I go to sleep I find myself sad and crying but I can't remember why.
It's such a pain! So annoying! Like I've forgotten something very, very important. To me. Something close to my heart, that's how painful it is. How deeply I want to remember.
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"Laura, where do you think I was?"
"Rin, I wish I knew."
"But, if you had to guess?"
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"I have no idea Rin. The police searched for you, they checked everywhere. We flew out there as well, looking for any sign of you. But nothing."
"It broke mom's heart, didn't it?"
"Rin, you can't think that. The cancer didn't come along because of you. My sister loved you and never gave up hope of finding you. And you came back, alive and she got to spend time with you again."
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"I miss her."
"I know you do."
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"You still keep this?"
"Don't touch it!" She touched that outfit, the one I was found in. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."
"It's alright Rin, I know it's valuable to you. I'm sorry."
"I wish I knew why. I often find myself putting it on. There is a smell on it, something nice. Something I find… comforting."
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"Tell you what, why don't we go out today?"
"Oh?"
"Yes, there is a bird of prey exhibit down at the zoo, Penny has been asking me to take her to it. I think it will do you good to get out."
That does sound good. I've been stuck up in my room since the funeral. It'll be nice to get out for a bit. "Alright. Let me just grab my camera."
My camera…
Where did I…
Where is it?
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Ah, there it is.
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It feels warm… like… something lost. That warm tingling feeling when something good is about to happen.
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Narr, it's just my imagination!
Oh, better check the battery.
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Dam, battery's dead. Good job I have a spare!
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That's funny, that's dead as well…
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Oh that's right, I had it with me on my holiday! That makes sense. Well, if I put it on charge now, it should be done by after lunch. And while I do that, I'll download my pictures.
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Here we go…
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Wa?
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Where…
Where did these come from?
I don't remember taking these…
I… I don't remember taking any of these!
They are beautiful… but… where did I take them from?
And how did I take this one? I mean, it looks like it's a bird's eye view of a city!
Amazing but…
But…
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But where did they come from!
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"Rin? Are you alright?"
"Laura, come and have a look at this."
"What is it Rin?"
"Have a look. There are some… weird pictures on my memory card."
"Wow, that's beautiful."
"I know, but… I don't remember taking them. And here, look at the date stamp. This was right in the middle of when I was missing."
"So you must have taken these photos where ever you were."
"I don't know. I mean look at them, the shots are…"
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"Who's that?"
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I know him.
I know that man.
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There's more of him…
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Wait, go to thumbnail…
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There are more! And more! Hundreds! Hundreds of this same man!
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Why is my heart beating so fast all of a sudden?
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There… there's a picture of me. But who took it?
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And another!
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I look happy.
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I'm even posing.
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I look really happy.
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There's one of me and him… angle's a bit funny, must have been on the timer. But… that man… his arm is around me, holding me tight. He looks… a little blank but… happy at the same time.
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Wow, what a great action shot… me falling through the air with that man grabbing hold of me. He even looks a little shocked! Or maybe… worried.
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"Oh."
You said it Laura.
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I'm kissing him in this one.
He looks dazed, like I caught him off guard.
I was kissing him… not the other way.
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I clearly like this man.
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Is he what I forgot?
Is he why my heart feels so empty?
I think it is.
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"Who is he Rin?"
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"His name is Lord Sesshomaru." I blink, staring at him. "And I love him."
"Rin?"
"I love him… he was the one who looked after me."
I remember.
I remember the hotel. I remember working there. I remember Mass and the others and… and I remember everything!
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Oh god, I promised I'd come back!
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"Rin, what are you doing?"
"I'm booking a flight. I'm going back."
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"Why?"
"I told you Laura, I love him. I swore to go back, to be with him. And I want to. I want to with all my heart. I want to be with him."
"This… lord Sesshomaru?"
"Yes. It's very hard to explain."
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"Rin, you are in love with this man. No matter how odd he looks, he clearly loves you too. And you must love him if his image brought your memories back."
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"Your mom would want you to be happy, no matter where that takes you."
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"Laura, if I go, I won't be able to come back… ever."
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"You'll be able to write?"
"Yes."
"Then that's enough for me. So… book yourself a ticket on the next flight. Sod the cost, just get back to him."
I smile as I set to work, booking a flight, the photo in view.
Sesshomaru, I'm coming.
~#~
"You came back."
The first words from his lips. My arms are so tight around him… I just want to hold him, listen to the rumble in his chest and the beat of his heart.
It's filling me with a warmth that… I can't believe I even tried to live without. Yes… "I came back."
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The rumble is growing… I wonder what it means but… but it's nice to hear. Like its just for me.
"Rin, don't cry."
"I'm happy, my lord. Happy to be back. To be back in your arms."
"Is that so?"
"Yes, and I never want to leave them again, if you'll let me."
"I will never let you go again Rin."
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Now the tears really won't stop.
But I'm smiling. Smiling as he kisses me. And it feels amazing.
Yikes, he's being a little rough but… it has been six months, I'm not exactly holding back myself.
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"Wha!"
"Keep still Rin."
He's carrying me, almost flying down the halls, up the stairs and to his room.
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Man, I didn't know he was that desperate! But still… it's nice to be back with him.
~#~
The next morning, Sesshomaru and I spoke. I told him about my mother and how she died. He listened intently and asked a few questions but then I told him of how I remembered. All thanks to my camera! It made him smile a little.
Then we spoke about the future.
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And he asked me to be his mate! For a demon, that's like being a wife!
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Well, naturally I accepted. But I was still human.
So he pulled out the cape from its box and put it around me, tying it.
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And he ordered me to change.
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God how it burnt! How my body was set on fire! How every cell in my body changed, mutated, pain filled me. It was agony! But though it all my tears and screams, I could feel him next to me, holding me so tight to his chest… rubbing my back and whispering that it was going to be alright.
The whole process took two whole days and he didn't leave me for a second of it.
But when it was over I was left with pointy ears, sharp canines and strength to push him onto his back. It was so strange! I was strong and a demon!
But most of all… I was Lord Sesshomaru's mate.
I became his lady and lady of the hotel, able to look over the people and walk around freely. No one brought up my past life as a human, not with my husband.
I send letters to my aunt and niece every week, telling them how I am and what's going on. I even sent them memory cards full of pictures about once a year. Well, they are no use to me when I don't have a computer or electricity. I still don't know how my camera never runs out of charge but hell, I'm not going to ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.
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And then Sesshomaru stopped sleeping with me. Well, I mean, he still slept beside me just not… well… we stopped. And I asked him if I'd done something wrong.
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"I don't want to harm the baby."
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Well that wasn't much of a shocker, we were at it like rabbits after all. But I still grinned and hugged him tight. A year later I was nursing our little boy and, I am very happy to say, we lived happily together for the rest of our abnormally long lives.
The End.
A/N: Right, its official, I hate this style! I hate it! I hate writing like this! Nope, not for me, this is a major failed experiment! I do not like writing 1st person. It was nice, it was fun at first but it just is not for me.
Do you guys know any other styles I could try writing in? Leave me a review and give your suggestions. If I like them I'll give them a try. Oh and any story ideas if you have them.
But do remember, I'm back at uni now and it is my final year… I'm going to slow down and have to concentrate on my studies *Groan* this dam lit review is a nightmare but I have to have it done by November 16th… or I don't get my honours degree… so yeah, I need to get a shake on with it. :(
I will try and keep up with my writing, it's a great way to distract from stress and procrastinate from important things. But keep an eye out for the next StoryLady35 Story! oh and PS, I'm putting these stories up on DeviantART now as well, so if you have an account on there, look me up. I'm silverlunasicata but if you search for one of my story titles, you'll probably find me. :D
Well, keep in touch and don't forget to leave a review!
