Previously:
Naruto felt a hand harshly grab his shoulder and spin him around roughly. He heard the muffled voice of Sasuke yelling at him, and Sakura throwing around medical terms to describe what she was currently seeing.
Sakura and Sasuke then watched in horror as Naruto slammed into the ground, darkness clouding his vision as his body seized violently on the ground.
"I told you, Uzumaki Naruto...
If I can't live...
Neither will you."
Current:
"Where is he?" Tsunade barked as she burst into the room. Stress and worry was written all over her face as she roughly grasped Naruto's face with her hand. She peeled his eyelid open and began waving her flashlight across his lifeless pupils.
"What happened Sakura?" Tsunade asked urgently as she struggled to diagnose the unconscious blonde.
"He..." Sakura bit her lip in hesitation. "He fainted."
"He fainted?"Disbelief rang through Tsunade's exclamation as she rounded on Sakura. Sasuke looked back and forth between Sakura and Tsunade as both teacher and student seemed to be having a silent conversation between themselves.
"Yes. We did too much today...I-I shouldn't have pushed him so hard." She trailed off as she averted her eyes to the wall. Sasuke noticed the unimpressed look Tsunade sent Sakura's way after her explanation.
"Were there any other symptoms?"
"He was shak-" Sasuke tried to reply before Sakura suddenly cut him off.
"No. He turned very pale, as would be expected with someone suffering from dramatically low blood pressure." She sent a sympathetic look towards Sasuke whose face was a mix between surprise and annoyance that she had so blatantly cut him off.
"How low was his blood pressure at the time of his collapse?"
"It was ninety over sixty." Sakura said carefully as she saw the alarm flash across Tsunade's face.
"That's dangerously low, Sakura. Medically speaking, he should have been showing other visible symptoms as well."
"I'm sorry Sensei, it just happened so fast that I didn't look for obvious symptoms until after it happened. He gave no indication that he was feeling at all sick, and just five minutes before he collapsed, his color was fine and he was speaking normally."
"Is he okay now?" Sasuke abruptly interjected between the two arguing medical ninja. Tsunade's expression softened as she and Sakura ceased their debating and turned their attention to the annoyed Uchiha.
Sakura knew that Sasuke had always prided himself on being unconquerable in high-stress situations. It came naturally to him, and he was good at it. But now, even though it was a small inkling of a hint, Sakura could tell that he was aware of the fact that this didn't look good.
Tsunade crossed her arms and spoke in a sobered voice at the Uchiha:
"He'll be fine for now. He's unconscious, but not dead. The only thing he needs now is rest. Reckless brat..." Tsunade remarked softly as she turned and lightly brushed Naruto's sweat-dampened bangs out of his eyes. Sasuke noted the conflicted expression flash across Tsunade's face as she ran her fingers over his forehead and down his cheek. The only movement that could be seen was the soft heaving of Naruto's chest.
"Why are you doing this..." Tsunade whispered to herself as she continued to study Naruto in obvious frustration. Sasuke glanced quickly at Sakura, who looked away just as fast.
Sasuke watched as Tsunade craned her neck towards a distracted Sakura.
"Sakura, may I speak with you in the hall please?"
"Yes, sensei." Sakura remarked quietely and in what Sasuke could only identify as defeat.
Sasuke moved forward to walk out with them when Tsunade placed her hand on his chest, inhibiting his movement. Normally the Uchiha would have considered this a threatening and ill-advised gesture, but the seriousness in her eyes distracted him from any defensive reaction.
"You stay here, Uchiha. I just need to have Sakura file a medical report for our records. Be here when he wakes up."
(Naruto's POV)
"What happened?" Naruto thought groggily as the remnants of a headache raged against his skull. He slowly opened his eyes to a warped and blurry room.
"Am I drunk?" He mused as he struggled to come up with a reason for his present misery. As he sat up, he could feel his eyes darting around what he now recognized as a hospital room. He could feel his eyeballs throbbing lightly with the pain in his head as a wave of nausea overtook him.
"Damn. What the hell did I do?"
"You passed out."
Naruto rounded on Sasuke who was standing to his left; a smug look plastered on his face as he crossed his arms casually.
"What are you doing here?"
"Babysitting your sorry ass."
"Tch!" Naruto spat half-heartedly as he ignored the Uchiha's insult. A throbbing headache and a raging sense of disorientation weren't enough to completely cripple his verbal challenges with the bastard, but they were enough to take the fun out of it.
His hair, still damp with sweat, hung around his face and neck. "What the hell happened to me?" Naruto asked as he winced through the pulsating waves of pain.
"You tell me."
Naruto deadpanned at the Uchiha who was now beside his bed.
"You know, it might just be me, but normally when people ask what happened to them, it usually means they really don't know." Naruto replied sarcastically.
He smirked when he saw Sasuke resist the urge to fight back. An evil smile spread across Naruto's face as Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the amused blonde. With a cheeky grin, Naruto beat him to a response:
"What is this? Uchiha Sasuke isn't kicking someone when they're down? Satan must be pulling the sled out at this very moment."
"Shut up, usurakontachi. You passed out, and you better have some kind of explanation for it." Sasuke remarked with uncharacteristic vigor. Naruto raised his eyebrow as Sasuke visibly back-tracked from his somewhat assertive tone of voice. Naruto nearly laughed out-loud as he watched the Uchiha try and disguise the urgency. Sasuke cleared his throat and spoke up:
"She's already mad that you left AMA*. She'll be equally pissed if you don't cooperate with her at her attempts at a diagnosis."
"A for effort, I guess." Naruto thought as he mentally judged Sasuke's cover-up for the concern.
He couldn't deny it. It felt good to know that Sasuke was even marginally concerned for him. It had been years since Sasuke showed him anything but animocity, frustration and bloodlust. It was nice to see an indicator of what Sasuke used to be; the Sasuke he thought he'd never see again, and the same Sasuke he was still trying to get used to.
"Well when did I collapse?"
"When we were walking home. You stopped and just...stared. Then you collapsed. Sakura and I brought you back he- what does that look mean?" Sasuke abruptly asked in annoyance as he caught the unimpressed look that Naruto was sending him.
"I stopped and stared? At what? The clouds?" Naruto asked through a smile and concealed laughter. The explanation sounded ridiculous coming from the Uchiha. He smirked as Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"No, you idiot. I don't know what you were staring at, but it was something in the North training ground."
Sasuke caught the visual shock that reverberated off of Naruto's face at his suggestion, indicating that the blonde now remembered exactly what had happened.
"Ugh. Fuck." Naruto replied to himself as he closed his eyes and fell back into the bed.
That same feeling of dread washed over Naruto as his conversation with the Kyuubi came back to him: He was going to die. He lost his chance at life, love and happiness, and he was going to die quickly and painfully. That was it. There was no more negotiating or window of opportunity to save himself, and no divine intervention or ancient jutsu that had the power to rival the Kyuubi. Naruto Uzumaki had willingly signed his death wish.
"Well, I guess that's it. I did the right thing, and when things start to get...bad...at least I'll die knowing that they..." Naruto let the thought die on its own. He wasn't sure he had a resolution to it anyway, and dwelling on death wasn't something he willingly wanted to participate in.
"Well?" The Uchiha asked as he interrupted Naruto's inward ramblings. Naruto sent the Uchiha a conflicted look.
"He doesn't need to know. No one needs to know. I don't want their last memories of me to be influenced by this. I want them to think of me the way they always have.." Naruto thought with surprising vigor and determination. Everything he and Sai had tried to hide may have fallen hideously apart, but this was the one thing he would not allow to crumble. He couldn't let his last few days, months, years, whatever, be spoiled by the irrational attempts of people trying to save him and killing him with their worry. If he could handle this burden alone and allow them to think that he was just leaving for a roguesque lifestyle, he could deal with the uncertainty that death inevitably brings. For now, ignoring was the only real solution to the crippling fear and anxiety.
"Naruto." Sasuke urged.
"WELL, Sasuke, I think this is all a little ridiculous." Naruto chirped as he sloppily threw his legs over the bed and stretched dramatically.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked as he straightened up. Naruto avoided his gaze as he pulled his shirt over his head.
"Uhh...leaving? All I did was pass out. I do it all the time, it's not that serious."
"Are you an idiot?" Sasuke asked in disbelief.
"Probably." Naruto laughed. Sasuke watched as Naruto shook his wild hair like a wet dog and peered straight at him with his usual dopey grin. "Well, I guess there's nothing more to be done. See you tomorrow, Sasuke. Tell Granny-Tsunade that I'm going back to my room, ne?" Naruto ordered as he started for the door.
He blanched as the Uchiha suddenly stepped between he and the door.
"As a Jounin for the Hokage, I cannot allow you to leave without direct affirmation from the Hokage." Sasuke replied robotically. Naruto cast Sasuke an unimpressed look.
"Well that's cute. How much do you get paid to say that?" Naruto asked in sarcasm as he again reached for the doorknob, only to be beaten to it by Sasuke. He would have considered this a playful challenge if it weren't for the seriousness in Sasuke's eyes. Naruto suddenly felt uncomfortable at the closeness between he and Sasuke. There was only an inch between his hand and the door, and even less between he and Sasuke's faces.
"Sasuke, you're being-"
"I don't care."
Sasuke asserted before Naruto could finish. He winced as Sasuke's warm breathing fluidly framed his eyes. Sasuke's eyes were half-lidded, but his body was alert.
Naruto had never in his life been intimidated by Sasuke, but upon closer observation, it was easy to see how others could have been. His eyes were dark. Darker than night, and twice as intense. His hair was just as black and jutted out in angles. His skin was pale enough to appear ghost-like, and his voice was too deep and intense to be considered anything short of diabolical. It may have had the potential to scare some people, but it also had the same potential to be highly attractive, and Naruto found the latter to be more realistic.
He froze.
"What the FUCK, Naruto? You did not just describe that bastard as being attractive. It must be the disorientation. Yeah, that's definitely what it is." Naruto rationalized to himself out of pure self-defense. Sasuke had never been attractive. Never.
Naruto suddenly felt the need to get out of the room as quickly as possible. He reached for the door handle again, but before he could grab it, he was halted by Sasuke's hand firmly pushing on his chest. Naruto glanced at the hand, then back into the Uchiha's still-defiant eyes.
"I can't let you leave. She told me to stay here and wait."
"Damn, Sasuke. I'm fine, and you know it too."
"I don't know that." He somewhat growled.
Naruto caught the slightly frustrated tone his sentence carried.
"But I do, and that's all that should matter right now. I would hate for this to get physical." Naruto replied through a cheeky-yet-mischiveous grin. Sasuke snorted.
"Right, dobe. You're too disoriented to find your own ass right now."
Naruto scoffed, but mostly to hide the fact that he knew it was true. He was currently describing Sasuke as being attractive. He was obviously delirious.
Needing to be free of all of the tension, Naruto advanced into Sasuke with the intent to stifle him. When in doubt, show yourself to be the alpha right?
Wrong.
Sasuke wasn't easily intimidated. But as a missing-nin who had a fragile reputation to protect, Sasuke wouldn't allow himself to make a scene.
Naruto smirked as he suddenly felt Sasuke tense under what he figured was defiance to the blonde's advancements. He leaned in closer to Sasuke as he felt himself hit with a wave of heat at their ridiculous closeness. He could feel the Uchiha's hair tickling the side of his nose as he put his mouth a mere centimeter away from Sasuke's ear.
"Hey Sasuke - why so tense?" He whispered quietely. But before he had time to react, he was suddenly shoved backwards by Sasuke who now had an insane look in his eyes. Naruto was surprised by his reaction, simply for the fact that Sasuke seemed to be genuinely upset.
"Back off, Naruto." Sasuke remarked darkly as his eyes fell into shadow under his onyx-colored hair. Naruto stood in utter confusion.
"What kind of reaction was that?" Naruto thought in legitimate confusion. Sasuke had never been threatened by any of his advancements, and even rose to their challenges to defend his pride. It was what they did. They challenged each other in any possible scenario that life threw at them, and then some. But Sasuke had never reacted so harshly before, and Naruto was too tired and too spent to try and decode the feelings of Sasuke Uchiha.
Before anything else could be said, however, both boys were jerked from their argument as a knock was heard on the door.
"Uchiha? Are you in there?" Tsunade's muffled voice called through.
"Hai, Hokage-Sama." Sasuke remarked as he stepped away from the door; his eyes silently berating Naruto to stay back.
Naruto instantly changed his mood as he saw Tsunade walk through the door. Tsunade halted when her gaze found Naruto.
"So, brat, you feeling better?"
"I feel like happiness personified." Naruto lied as he shot Sasuke a wary look for his audible snort. Tsunade raised an eyebrow at the Uchiha and the blonde.
"What?" Naruto asked innocently.
"Nothing. Naruto, I need to speak with you alone." She turned her attention towards Sasuke. "Do you mind? You and Sakura can see him tomorrow."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed as Naruto laughed and sent him the middle finger behind Tsunade's back. Sasuke was too uptight to react to Naruto in front of the Hokage.
"Hai, Hokage-sama." Sasuke replied as he walked through the door. Tsunade waited for his footsteps to fade before turning her attention back to Naruto.
"You're a damn liar, Naruto."
"I love you too."
"Cut the crap, Naruto. Sakura told me what really happened."
Shock riddled through his body at Tsunade's implication. Surely Sakura couldn't have figured everything out. There was no way. All he did was collapse under exhaustion by the Kyuubi. Sakura couldn't have had the time or skills to deduce the real reasons for his exhaustion.
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked hesitantly.
"She told me that you didn't pass out, Naruto. She said you were seizing." She stressed the word to try and make Naruto understand just how serious of an issue it was.
"Isn't that like collapsing?" Naruto asked naiively.
"Naruto, a seizure is nothing like passing out. Collapsing is caused by simple things such as low blood sugar or exhaustion. Seizures happen because of severe underlying causes affecting the brain."
Naruto could tell that she was trying her best to portray the severity of this to him, but when faced with the absolute guarantee of death, he found that he had a hard time being scared by anything less than death. Sure, he was surprised by the seizure, but he wasn't scared. "Scared" happened when the outcome or problem was uncertain. Naruto knew both the problem and the outcome. There wasn't a whole lot anyone could say to suprise him anymore. The only thing that scared him now was the possibility that they would try to fix him.
"Listen, Granny-Tsunade, I. Am. Fine. I've had two hours of sleep in the last day, and I have a gaping scar on my stomach. A seizure is actually probably the least of what I should be experiencing right now." Naruto reassured happily, however, nothing could have prepared him for what she said next.
"Naruto, I know you're sick." She replied flatly.
"Sick?" Naruto asked in pretend confusion.
"Something is deeply wrong with you. It's not the wound on your stomach, it's not your lack of sleep and it's not exhaustion. You are hiding something, and you need to know that I am aware and have every intention of finding out why."
Naruto was surprised. Surprised, and nervous. She didn't know what was wrong, but she knew enough. It was only a matter of time before things got uncontrollable, and he and Sai would have to cut their time short.
"Granny-Tsunade, please understan-"
"Do not lie to me, Naruto. I know you are suppressing pain beyond my knowledge, and it kills me to know that you won't say why. I figure that whatever this is, its responsible for you leaving three years ago, and it's the reason you're leaving now, and quite frankly, I don't understand what you're trying to do. Sakura tried to cover for you tonight in front of the Uchiha, because she knows somethings wrong with you too."
Naruto said the only thing that mattered to him at that moment.
"Please don't tell anyone." Naruto remarked through resigned defeat. He caught the surprised look flash across Tsunade's face. Her fears had been confirmed.
"Tell me what's wrong with you, and I won't."
"I can't." He replied through gritted teeth. He felt his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands.
"Why?" She barked, her voice escalating to a dangerous level.
"Because there is nothing anyone can do!"
Naruto saw her visible suprise as she waited for him to expound.
"Sai and I...we spent the past two years looking for something, anything to fix this...and we just..."
"What, Naruto? Please just tell me." She replied, her voice softening with obvious hurt as she placed her hand on his shoulder. She knew this was serious, but not serious enough to have been happening for the past two years.
"I'm sorry, Granny-Tsunade, but I can't involve anyone. That would be the worst possible thing."
"Naruto."
"I'm sorry." He remarked so softly is was almost inaudible. He refused to meet her eyes.
He heard the soft sound of her foot-steps backing away as she took her hand off of his shoulder.
"I will not tell anyone, Naruto. But I do not intend to leave this alone. Just know that I will find out why you are doing this. The Naruto I knew, he wouldn't..." She replied quietely as she trailed off.
Naruto knew she was hurt. If anyone could have helped Naruto, it would have been Tsunade. She was legendary for her skills in Medical Ninjutsu, and had the knowledge and determination to back it all up. For him not to trust that she could do anything probably stung badly, and he knew it.
"Goodnight, Naruto. I'll let Shizune know you're coming back to your room." She remarked quietely as she opened the door.
"Good night, Granny-Tsunade." He replied quitely, but before she could hear it, the door shut; leaving Naruto with nothing but his guilt, frustration and discouragement.
(SCENE CHANGE)
It was now 2:00 am as Naruto made his way back to the hospital. After his conversation with Tsunade and he and Sasuke's strange behavior towards each other, his mood had taken a downward spiral. Confusion, frustration and fear were never a healthy combination.
As he walked along the deserted streets of Konoha, his thoughts raced back and forth between all of his current obstacles; leaving Konoha, Sasuke, Tsunade, the domestic arrest, Sai, Kakashi and his impending death.
He knew that all of Konoha had probably come to the conclusion that Uzumaki Naruto, the Village's Number One Most Unpredictable Ninja who swore to never give up, was giving up on life and everything he ever stood for. He cringed at the thought of it. He wasn't giving up. He would never dream of giving up. His desire to be Hokage was as strong as it had ever been, but it had been eclipsed by the possibility that if somebody tried to help him, he would endanger everyone and everything that ever meant something to him. No one could mess with the Kyuubi and get away with it. Naruto was living proof.
"I know they all think I've given up, but I just wish they would all..." He fell back against the wall and stared half-lidded at the moon; the same moon he had observed just weeks before on the night he and Sai had decided to come back. He cocked his head slightly as he observed the moon.
"Moon. Thank you for being the one thing in my life that has remained constant." He thought bitterly as he observed the pale purple patches of color on its exterior. The moon was such a stark contrast to it's dark, shapeless counterpart.
"Same color as Sasuke-teme's eyes..." Naruto thought before he instantly caught himself. To say his awkward thoughts about Sasuke that night had shocked him would be an understatement. He continued to attribute their origin to his disorientation, but he still felt uncomfortable with them. He had always admired Sasuke. He wouldn't deny that, and Sasuke knew it too. But admiring is nothing even remotely close to meaning attractive.
"Maybe I've just seen him in a dark light for so long, that now that the old Sasuke is resurfacing, I'm just overkilling my relief in seeing him like this." Naruto thought as a way to pacify his thoughts.
Considering Sasuke as anything more than a brother would completely jeopardize an already-fragile friendship they were sustaining. To even introduce the word "attractive" into the mix would be the most ill-advised move Naruto could even fathom. He had to give it to Sasuke though; if anyone could make him question his sanity and complicate matters beyond a human capacity, it would be Sasuke Uchiha. But the only person Sasuke considered worthy enough to be an equal was Naruto, and Naruto would be damned if he ever let Sasuke forget it.
Putting the thoughts of Sasuke into the back of his mind, Naruto continued to walk the streets of Konoha on his way back to the hospital. Upon closer observation, some things had changed, but for the most part, they were the same. He wanted to see the rest of the Rookie Nine, but he didn't know how he would explain himself.
"If everyone thinks I'm just surrendering to life for some half-assed reason, then maybe it's best that I don't see anyone else. I don't want anyone to think of me like that, but I'd rather them think of me that way than as a dying man."
Naruto suddenly felt anger flooding through his body for the trillionth time.
"Dammit!" He shouted harshly.
"Yo." Came the resounding reply as Naruto suddenly rounded on a very casual-looking Kakashi who was precariously balancing himself in a tree. Naruto looked up at him in surprise as he struggled to catch his breath.
"Kakashi-sensei? What...are you doing?"
"Just enjoying the scenery, I guess."
Naruto looked around and noted the buildings and dark alleyways that made up the only scenery Kakashi would have been able to see. He gave Kakashi the benefit of the doubt and decided not to pursue this one.
"Easy to please?" Naruto asked.
"Yepp." Kakashi remarked somewhat distractedly as he stared into the proverbial night sky. Naruto suddenly felt awkard. Kakashi had treated him strangely since the moment he had arrived. Naruto had concluded that Kakashi was unimpressed with his seemingly-cowardly behavior, which attributed to Kakashi's uncharacteristic avoidance of Naruto.
Kakashi was the initiator of Team Seven. Without him, he, Sakura and Sasuke might as well have gone their separate ways and never looked back. That's what would have happened if Kakashi hadn't been there to bring out the best in them.
Kakashi was most responsible for the glory of the Team Seven days that they all cherished. Naruto never knew how Kakashi felt about Sasuke abandoning Konoha, but he figured his behavior towards him now was the closest thing there was, but even more so. Everyone knew that Sasuke had a goal that superceded Team Seven, and most people assumed Sasuke would be the one to walk away. But Naruto was the one who said he would never do it; and he did.
"Ne, Naruto. How about we go for a little walk?" Kakashi asked he he continued to stare deeply into things that Naruto now figured went much deeper than the night sky. He lazily turned his gaze towards Naruto.
Naruto didn't especially want to talk with Kakashi about his behavior, but he trusted Kakashi and knew he needed to make amends before he lost his chance indefinitely.
"Uh...sure." Naruto tried. Kakashi landed gracefully in front of his most unpredictable student.
"I guess we can start by me asking how you've been."
"I've been pretty good, Kakashi-sensei. And yourself?" It sounded beyond fake.
"I've seen better days, but for the most part, I'm good."
Naruto could tell they were treading very thin ice, and he hated that people had to feel that way around him. Naruto was surprised as Kakashi suddenly stopped in the middle of their walking.
"There's no point in us acting this way, Naruto, so I guess I'll just come out and say it. Why did you leave?"
"I can't explain it." Naruto remarked for what seemed the hundredth time. "It's...difficult to understand..." Naruto could tell that Kakashi was dissatisfied with this explanation, but he carried on anyway. "I know you probably think I'm a coward, bu-"
"What?" Kakashi asked in obvious surprise.
"Isn't that why you've been avoiding me?" Naruto caught himself. "I mean, you always taught us to value loyalty to our comrades, and it probably looks like I didn't..."
"Naruto, I don't understand why you left, but I never once thought it was because you were being a coward." Kakashi said in a seriousness that Naruto had rarely seen. If Kakashi hadn't lost all faith in him for leaving, then what was the reason for his avoidance?
"Then why have you avoided me?" Naruto asked in genuine confusion.
"I felt...guilty." Kakashi remarked as he turned away from Naruto. All Naruto could see was the completely-masked side of Kakashi's face.
"Guilty?"
Naruto noted the inward battle Kakashi seemed to be waging with himself.
"Sometimes, when I look back on my days when I taught you three, I think I might have given the impression that I valued Sasuke more than you or Sakura."
Naruto visibly faltered. Where had this come from?
"Maybe you did, but it never phased me. If anything, it helped me to try harder to prove myself just as valuable as Sasuke. I never thought you were showing favoratism or anything..."
"And I want you to know that I never would have intentionally. It's just, I saw so much of myself in Sasuke, and I think I made it too personal."
Naruto could tell this had been on Kakashi's mind for quite some time.
"Is that what this is all about?"
"Naruto, I know you well enough to know that you left this village for a good reason, but during all of this time, I couldn't help but wonder if you left feeling that you couldn't rely on anyone, and I feared that I had done you an injustice by making myself so exclusive to Sasuke. I don't know what it is, but I just want you to know that if something is wrong-" He didn't finish, and Naruto didn't need him to.
"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."
Naruto knew that Kakashi had never been emotional in his life. He wasn't as stoic as Sasuke, but he never openly epxressed his feelings, which probably contributed to the similarities he saw between he and Sasuke. Kakashi didn't have to say much, but Naruto knew that this was Kakashi reaching out as best he could.
This was the most honest that Naruto had ever seen Kakashi, and he didn't know if he liked it. Kakashi was the rock of their team, and many times, emotionally-stabile enough to have been considered Hokage-material by many people. Kakashi was trying to truly understand Naruto, and he was showing it as best as he could, but confliction didn't look good on Kakashi.
"Have you talked to Sasuke?" Kakashi asked bluntly. Naruto figured that since they were both being so honest, there wasn't really a point in holding anything back.
"Yeah."
"How'd that go?" He asked in somewhat of an elevated interest.
"Things are...better." He replied hesitantly. "Lightyears better than they have been, anyway. If you had told me a year ago that Sasuke would return to Konoha of his own free will, I would have sent myself into a raging fit of laughter. Who knew that all I had to do was back off..." Naruto remarked jokingly to himself, although Kakashi could tell that Naruto was struggling with Sasuke's return and had measured his self-worth by it. Sasuke always was Naruto's own personal mission, and his failure to bring him back had affected him badly.
"You know, when Sasuke returned, he almost left again."
"Really. Why?" Naruto asked through a yawn. This didn't shock him simply because Sasuke Uchiha was habitually indecisive about a lot of things.
"Because he found out you weren't here." Came the reply. Naruto faltered. That got his attention.
"Riiight..." Naruto remarked blankly.
"No, I'm serious. When he came back, he asked to know where you were, and when it was implied that you had died, he almost left."
"Why? Wasn't it implied that I was dead?"
"He didn't believe you had died. Especially since Sai left with you, he assumed you had left of your own free will and considered your departure to be too sketchy. He wanted to find you, Naruto."
"Why didn't he?" Naruto ventured against his better judgment. He was playing with fire, and he knew it.
"The Village told him that if he left before they put him on a fair trial, they would sentence him to immediate and permanent exile. By that time, Sasuke had formally surrendered to Konoha and announced his desire to revoke his title of missing-nin under the promise that he would re-affirm his loyalty to Konohagakure. In the end, it was made clear to Sasuke that if he waited out his two-year probation, he would be allowed to search for you and return home again as a citizen of Konoha. His two-year probabtion will end next week. His motivation to find you didn't stop until the night you showed up."
"Why are you telling me this?" Naruto asked quietely.
"I know you consider Sasuke to be your greatest failure, and I know you are judging your self-worth because of it. But Sasuke's return had to be prompted by Sasuke himself, and there was nothing that you, or I, or anyone could have said or done to change that." A few minutes passed as Naruto allowed that to sink in. He wondered how this was supposed to make him feel better, but it was true. Before he could continue his thoughts, however, Kakashi spoke up again:
"But even so, Naruto, I don't think Sasuke would have returned had it not been for you. Even though he fought you every step of the way, you made him realize that he was valued somewhere whether he liked it or not. And when the time came, he fell back on that and trusted that you meant what you said. I guess I just want you to realize that it wasn't for nothing. You may have not physically brought Sasuke back home, but I dare say you were the only one who let him know it was always an option."
"Do you know why he returned?" Naruto asked in hopes of changing the subject.
"That's something you need to ask Sasuke."
"Yeah. I figured."
"Are you planning on asking him?"
"We have a spar-thing planned, and if I beat him, he promised to tell me why he returned. If he beats me, I have to tell him why I left. I'm fully expecting to dominate his sorry ass, though."
Naruto made note of the fact that Kakashi's interest perked up at this exchange.
"For the sake of this argument, let's assume that you win this spar. What happens?"
"Sasuke tells me why he returned, and life goes on." Naruto remarked matter-of-factly.
"And if you lose?"
"Uhm...psh, I guess I just move on and resolve that it doesn't matter why he returned, it's that he did return. That's good enough for me."
"...will you lie to him about your truth?"
"Probably."
"You don't think he'll see through that?"
"He probably will, but I guess it doesn't matter. I won't lie out of selfish gain. I'll lie for the good of everyone." Naruto heard a muffled laugh escape through Kakashi's mask.
"I guess if anyone could make lying an admirable thing, it would be you, Naruto."
"That's called skill, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto replied through a grin. After a few minutes of silence, Kakashi spoke up:
"But you know, Naruto, the worst part about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth."
Naruto felt discouragement slap him in the face.
That was a low-blow, and Naruto visibly stung from the remark. He knew his friends probably deserved to know the truth about his current stage in life, but does truth become a bad thing if it's blind to everything else? He wanted them to know the truth. He hated living with the scarlett letter of a missing nin. But with truth comes irrational behavior in the form of love. They would mess with the Kyuubi and theorize on ways to fix it, and had there been any available way to re-define the seal, Naruto would have done it already. But he and Sai never found a way, and truth wasn't always a black and white ethic. In his case, the difference between truth and a lie could mean the difference between life and death.
Being too tired to give this subject the amount of thought it required, Naruto decided to humor himself by asking for Kakashi's interpretation.
"What does that mean?" Naruto asked flatly.
"I don't know. I guess it just means that you have to decide if anyone in your life is worth the truth." Kakashi replied as he sent Naruto an understanding look.
Before he could reply, however, Naruto noted that he and Kakashi were standing in front of the Konoha hospital. The roller-coaster dynamics of he and Kakashi's conversation had distracted him from the theory of time.
"Well, I'm glad we had this talk, Naruto. See you around?" Kakashi asked hopefully. Naruto saw the obvious trace of desperation laced in that sentence. He was honestly glad, too. If death was truly on his door-step as everything around him indicated , then now was the time to make amends with the most important people in his life. It would be one hell of an uncomfortable experience, but he owed it to them.
Naruto smiled.
"Yeah. See you around, Kakashi-sensei."
(END CHAPTER)
Hey guys! Sorry I'm so late with updating this!
Anyway, I hope you guys like the chapter, and as you can tell, this is going to be a Shounen Ai. I got an overwhelming amount of votes for Shounen Ai, but for those who requested friendship, I'm here to assure you that this will stay a Shounen Ai. And by that, I mean the farthest we will go is making out and slight groping, simply because I want this to be focused on a deeper aspect of Sasuke and Naruto's relationship.
Thank you guys so much for reviewing and I truly appreciate each and every one of you guys thoughts! I wrote a timelime for everything that happens in this fanfiction, and then organized it all into chapters, so my updates should be more frequent from now on.
Until next time! - DaisyTango
