Author's Note: So heres chapter 11. I quite like this chapter, I only just finished it, but that's besides the point, i really like it and i hope you do too. I won't say anymore or I'll ruin this chapter for you. But I would like to thank everyone who went on adn did my poll. Thanks
Chapter 11
Understanding
Bella's Point of View
The unnaturally bright sun glared threw the Cullen's huge front room floor to ceiling windows.
I was sitting in one of corner that had one wall that was actually a wall, reading my very, very old, falling to pieces Wuthering Heights.
I'm rather attached to this book, not just because it's a great, but strange story, but it has been with me from when I was still human. It was in the bag I had been carrying when I was turn into a vampire. So for this reason I can't bear to part from it no matter that I have to wrap two rubber bands around it when I'm not reading it to keep it together and not to lose pages of it. That and it has my name written in it in writing that is not my mine. I wonder who wrote it.
I ran my finger of the faded print, thanking the heavens for my Vampire sight, for if I was reading this as a human, I wouldn't be reading it at all, for some of the pages were so worn out that they where unreadable to anyone but vampire.
It's really peaceful here at the Cullen's house, when the boys aren't fighting, which they do often even when Esme tells them to quit fighting in the house.
Not that she's afraid for them, she's afraid for the house…me too.
When I say fighting, I don't mean yelling fights, though there is a bit of that too, but more like wrestling. They do this in this main room, though Edward usually threaten them to stay the hell away from his piano or they'll have a real fight on their hands, of cause then Emmett will do anything to get near the piano and that's when the windows start breaking and Esme sends them outside to fix the windows then orders them to stay outside until they calm down. All that, pretty much happen this morning, my stomach still hurts from laughing so hard.
The other source of destroying the peace is my cat, still currently unnamed and by the looks of it, she will be living the rest of her life known as being Cat.
Now how a cat so small can destroy the peace so easily is actually not really hard, especially when that cat is more of a kitten then cat, in a large room with long windows that look into trees that birds fly by and into to nest, you get the picture. What was going on outside was enough to send any young cat or any cat of any age, wild. Every so often there is a slight thud from when Cat suddenly jumped up from her stalking a bird, running full speed towards it, jumping and crashing into the window and bouncing off it and wandering around for the next ten minutes completely dazed.
Every time she does it, I can't help but laugh, she just so cute when she glares at the glass demanding to know why it was stopping her grabbing a tasty bird.
THUD
"Give it a rest Cat. Geez you're not going to get the bird." I sniggered not looking up from my book.
"Mew"
"Silly, did you crash into the window again?"
I jumped and looked up and over my book to stare across the room at the stairs where Cat had wobbled over to, to get a bit of sympathy from Edward, who had just come down from his room, which from the lack of sound now; he must have gotten sick of his music.
He bent down by the bottom stair and reached out an unsure hand to stroke Cat's soft fur. The first stroke she was purring, arching her back, begging for more. I swear that cat's demented. What animal in their right minds would happily hang around with vampires? Even Emmett doesn't phase her and he's actually tried to scare her. He's come to the conclusion that she's a me in animal form. I don't get that, but everyone else did and they laugh, well everyone except Edward and Rosalie, but nothing about me makes Rosalie laugh and Edward was just disapproving of the idea that they where laughing at me.
After stroking her for a bit, he actually cautiously picked her up and cradled her in his arms against his chest, still stroking her with one hand with her purring contently.
He had a gentle smile on his face as he stared down at Cat. You don't see Edward smiling that smile often, and I've only seen it a few times and that's only when I notice him watching me from the corner of my eye.
As if sensing my gaze, Edward looked up from the Cat, the smile vanishing for a moment, then returning into a crooked smile that always makes me feel good inside, since that smile and the gentle one seemed to be reserved to me and Cat. Though mainly me.
Though that smile didn't last long either, since his eyes narrow and he stared hard into my eyes.
I felt my self conscious raise it head, though I fought to keep it under control and not to look away from him.
I tilted my head slightly and asked.
"What?"
He gave his head a slight shake and smiled his crooked smile though his eyes still looked troubled. I sighed, I seemed to always cause him some sort of trouble.
"Nothing, it's just your eyes look different… never mind." He said and suddenly he was sitting beside me with his back leaning against the wall, Cat sitting contently on his lap. I reached over and scratched her ears and she purred in delight. Double pamper, what a life!
"Have you thought up a name for her yet?" he asked. I pulled a face, he knew I hadn't, so why was he asking?
"There are names I've been tossing around, like Kit and Kitty…" he understandably pulled a face… "Elizabeth. I like the name but it's so formal for a every day Cat name. Jane was a real goer until I remember that girl in Italy name was Jane." I cringed at the memory of that evil little girl. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at Edward for any sign of anger or pain, but there was none, only, strangely relief. I sighed; I was never going to get this guy.
"Cathy was a name I tried too." I continued. To my surprise Edward rolled his eyes. He let out a snigger when he saw what book I had been reading.
"I can't belief you're still reading that." He sniggered, gently taking the battered old book from me, careful not to let any of the pages fall out.
"Remind me to fix this for you sometime, or will you just let me buy you a new one?" he asked me, grinning in a knowing way, as if he already knew the answer to his question.
"There's nothing wrong with it, it's just a bit old, that's all." I grumbled, pouting at him. He just laughed knowingly and I could have sworn I heard him mutter under hid breath between laughter "I knew you'd say that. Still, so predictable."
"So what other names have you come up with apart from the ones you've stolen from books?" he asked, his mouth twitching to keep back the chuckles that where fighting to escape. I stuck my tongue out at him. Then I thought for a moment. Somehow, something about what he said got to me. It seemed familiar, though it wasn't about names that he had been teasing me about when he had asked me if I had stolen things from books or comics or movies. What had I stolen? Theories? Theories, about what? About him?
I frowned, the answer was just beyond my reach, then it was gone. I sighed heavily in defeat.
"Giving up?" he teased, though as soon at I looked up at him, I could see the worry in his eyes. I wondered how I had looked when I was trying to remember. I ducked my head in embarrassment.
"Come on, one more name." he asked, his eyes still smoldered at me. That also struck a cord in my mind, too. But I shook the feeling away.
"I tried Twilight for while, and nicknamed her Twi. But Twilight seems somehow more like a boys name then a girl's, but I really like the name for some reason. Maybe if I get another Cat or Dog, who's a boy, I'll call him Twilight." I shrugged, wondering if I had bored him with my rambling. I snuck a look in his direction. He looked, however absolutely fascinated.
He looked even more fascinated as he watched my face.
"What?" I asked, my self consciousness was making me wanted to look away, but my heart couldn't… wouldn't stand the thought, so I kept staring at him.
"You almost seemed to be blushing." He said his smile soft and he looked absolutely delighted at the idea.
"What is it with you people and my blushing." I asked, looking away, completely embarrassed.
"You blushed so easily." He explained calmly, but I detected the hint of sadness in his voice.
Sadness! Ok, enough, was enough. I was going to get to the bottom of this. I was sick of hurting him and making him sad and not knowing the exact, full details as to why and how I was doing it.
"You miss me, don't you?" I asked him. I was nervous, I knew we needed to talk, but I wasn't sure how this was going to go. He looked at me in puzzlement.
"When I was human, when I could actually remember you and everyone else? You miss me?" I bit my lip as I saw him realise that we had finally come to the long awaited and dread conversation. He shifted unhappily beside me, but he didn't run as I had half expected him too.
"Yes, I do miss you as a human." He finally sighed. My head dropped and I started turn away from him. Now I was tempted to run! However he prevented me from doing what I planned. He gently, but firmly took hold of my chin, lifting it up and pulling it, so that I faced him.
"Let me finished." He told me sharply; though I could see the strain this conversation was already taking on him.
"I miss you as a human, because, yes one, because you remembered and knew all of us and your family and friend and your whole life. Two, because I wanted to keep you as a human for as long as possible for my own selfish reasons, I thought that you being human and being able to live as a human would the right thing for you, clearly I was wrong in a lot of ways." He thought for a moment. "Scratch two out, two is a reason why I left not a reason why I miss you as a human." He sighed. "It's hard to explain, exactly what I miss about you being human, it's just a lot of little things really, like your blushes, they just made my day, to see you happy with me and still being alive to be happy with me. It's hard to explain." He looked out the window, looking broody.
It was hard for him to explain and I was grateful that he was actually trying to.
He looked back at me sadly.
"I'm sorry you had to go threw what you did by yourself, that wasn't what I had hoped for you. I wanted you to be happy and I thought I was holding you back from true happiness. I thought if I could take myself out of your world, you'd get over me and continue living a happy, healthy life. I was wrong and I am truly sorry." His voice was thick and sad and the regret in his eyes was almost more then I could stand.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked quietly, unsure exactly how he would take this. He sighed.
"Well, since we're on the subject and neither of us can back out now, yes you can and I'll answer as I know I must."
"Don't go formal on me." I grumbled, he smiled slightly.
"What's your question?"
I took a deep breath and my brain started thinking up lots of excuse to back out, but I needed to know WHY.
"Why did you leave?" my question came out rushed and if he wasn't a vampire he wouldn't have understood what I had asked
"Because I thought it was the right thing to do." He muttered.
"For who?" I asked though not exactly him. "Why?"
"Like I said before I wanted you to have a normal human life. I didn't want you to be damn because of me."
I sighed.
"Well, it's looks like I'm damned anyway, despite your efforts." I waved a hand up and down my body. I looked down into my lap again, despite his best efforts of keeping my face up. "I'm sorry I stuffed up your plan."
He groaned.
"Like I care about that, now."
I raised my head and stared at him sceptical.
"I don't." he complained. "I was in shock, shoot me!"
"Sorry, but your bullet prove, so I can't." I said pouting. He rolled his eyes at me but his lips twitched upwards.
"I also left because I thought the family might be a threat to you." He said and looked away at the piano. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Jasper, in particular. At that time he wasn't as use to this way of life as he is now. Back then even the slightest sign of blood, would set him off and on your eighteenth birthday." He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "you being you, cut your finger on a birthday present wrapping paper and, well he attack and I stopped him, but the damage had been done and proved that further damage could be caused. You where ok, mostly, mainly shaken up, but ok. But I wasn't going to let that happen again. So not long after the party, I took you out into the forest behind your house and told you I had no feelings for you." He suddenly laughed, but it wasn't a nice one, it was bitter and cold, and filled with regret. He turned his face back to mine, his eyes filled with disbelief.
"I still can't belief how quickly you believed me when I said I had no feelings for you, that I no longer loved you. It seemed almost as if you expected as much. But I thought you would have held on longer to me, telling me that I was lying, but you didn't. So I left and now I've come back I think I find you are dead, I guess that's what I rightfully deserved." He laughed again without humour.
"But I'm not dead and I don't think you deserved to think that." I pointed out quickly and gave him a prod in the ribs. He smiled at me.
"Any other questions, Miss hundred questions a minute?" he asked me. I frown.
"Huh?"
He sighed and shook his head.
"Never mind, do you have any other questions?"
"Yeah, a couple, but I'll only ask one now. Why did you go to Italy and try to get yourself killed? Did I ask you to do that when I was human? Cause if I did, I don't want to remember being human, cause I must have been horrible. What where you doing going out with a horrible person like me?" I demanded.
He sighed.
"That's more then one question." He pointed out. I nodded and moved my hand for him to continue. He sighed again.
"No, you didn't ask me to go kill myself after you died, actually you where totally against it. You are hardly a horrible person, neither now or then. And…" his fist clenched, but he continued none the less, " I went to Italy cause I couldn't bear to think of living in a world that you didn't live in. it was to hard and hurt far to much, I'm surprised I managed to stay way as long as I did, I felt as if I was going insane."
I bit my lip. I wondered how I had couped with him leaving me, with the knowledge that he didn't love me. No, wait, he said he didn't love me, that didn't mean he didn't love me. Ok, now I'm confused.
Inside of me I could feel a hole. It had been covered and buried away over the years and now I was discovering it and the more I discovered the more it hurt and then it seemed to stop hurting and begin to heal whenever Edward was near by.
I looked back at Edward, who gone back to pampering my cat, who had been rather offended for being ignored for so long and was demanding his absolute attention.
He looked up and smiled at me; his eyes seemed some how clear and seemed far happier. Speaking of his eyes, they where almost black.
"Why not Isis?" he asked me out of the blue.
"Huh?"
He rolled his eyes.
"For the cat, how about the name Isis?"
"Um, ok."
"Name of an Egyptian Goddess that ruled over magic and nature." We both muttered. He looked at me in amusement. I ducked my head.
"I read it in a book." I muttered. I reached out and scratched the Kitten's head.
"Hey you, Isis. Is that going to be your name?"
The kitten looked up at me and hopped of Edwards lap onto the floor and arched her back.
"Well?"
Mew.
"Is that a yes, are you going to be Isis." I asked and she hoped up onto my lap.
"Oh yeah, defiantly demented." I sighed, scratching my pamper Isis. Edward burst out laughing. Then he stopped and sighed heavily.
"Hey Edward!" we both whipped around to stair towards the doorway on the other side of the main room, where Emmett and Jasper were standing, both grinning happily. Edward made a grumbling sound under his breath before answering.
"What?" Edward asked. Was it me or did he sound crabby.
"Were going to hunt, want to come." Emmett asked, grinning as he took in Edward and I sitting side by side in the far corner.
Edward open his mouth to say no, but I nudge him and rolled my eyes.
"He'll go, he hasn't been awhile." I said and gave him a playful shove to get up. We both got up, me cradling newly named Isis in my arms.
"Do you want to come, Bells?" Jasper asked me gently. I smiled and shook ,my head.
"I'm not hungry yet." I told them, Edward gave me a questioning look, but I just smiled.
They left and I felt empty again. My book no longer held interest to me and Isis wanted to go back to crashing into windows. I don't know why we didn't just name her Flat Face, cause she was sure going to get one if she kept this up.
"What are you doing?"
I jumped I had been so in my own little world of depression that I didn't even notice Rosalie come up to me.
She looked nervous and unhappy and I wondered what I could have possibly done wrong. Was talking to Edward so bad?
"I…" she started, looking uncomfortable, "I wanted to apologize for how I've been treating you. It's unfair, you don't remember who you are and…" she closed her eyes. When she open them again, they where fierce "but you have no idea how much pain you've cause within this family, it had been fifty-six years and Edward and Alice still missed you like they had only just left you. Edward would go off on his own for months at a time, sometimes years and we wouldn't hear from him, because he was to busy sulking over you. He couldn't get over you and now your back with no memory of us and you're hurting him more and your not even trying."
I gulped; pain from the hole that was trying so hard to heal was beginning to flow threw. Dark memories flash threw my mind; known of them made any sense, but I could feel the pain from them.
"What do you want me to do?" I managed to ask her. She shrugged.
"I don't know."
"I'll go." I whispered, "I don't want to hurt anyone, least of all your family."
Rosalie looked surprised at my words. Clearly she had expected those words without some sort of fight.
"I don't think you can leave. Not now, it'd just hurt them more." Rosalie sighed, looking away from me.
"Then what do you want me to do?" I demanded, I could feel my anger rise.
"Try and remember." She walked off.
"What the hell?" I looked down at Isis, who had come and rubbed herself around my ankles.
I suddenly felt suffocated. The peace of this house was no longer working on me. I needed to get out. I needed to get away. At least for a little while. And with out much thought I walked out of the house and was running threw the forest feeling free.
They are coming!
Alice's Point of View
Bella standing off to the side, shaking. Emmett fighting with one of the older vampires in the group yet seems to still have the strength of a newborn. Emmett was really fighting to keep it from letting this one from ripping him to shreds. A chain with a Ankh swung from the vampires neck and in a desperate move on Emmett's part, he great fingers snagged the chain, pulling it so hard that it breaks. Silence. The vampire begins to change. He looks more human, but he is shaking with undeniable power and pain. His face was twisted in agony. He lunged at Emmett and sends him flying into a tree. Carlisle appears, as does Jasper, Edward, Rosalie and Esme. The twisted vampire is ready to lunge at them… but Bella.
"Alice? Alice, are you alright?" I could hear Jasper's voice close by. He was scared. Well he should be, something really wasn't right about those vampires. But why did they have to interrupt me, just as I was about to find out what Bella's roll in all this was.
"I'm fine, Jasper, really." I can see them now, all of them worried. I have never fallen down when getting a premonition.
"Alice?" Carlisle bent down beside me. I looked at him, only because I don't want to look at Edwards white face. Damn, I hadn't had time to think of something else before he had a chance to look; now he knew everything and he was freaking out major time.
He now knew something he really hadn't wanted to know but had suspected. And she doesn't even have a clue that she might have some major part in all this, I sighed. Speaking of which where was she? Hadn't I asked Jasper to bring her along? I looked around at the trees as if expecting her to just appear. She didn't of cause.
"She's back at the house." Edward said. I accidentally turn and looked at his face. It was worst then I thought. He hadn't just put some of the puzzle pieces together, he had put all the puzzle piece we had together and he was scared of what the puzzle picture was showing him.
"What did you see?" Carlisle asked, looked between Edward and me. I told him everything I saw, including Bella.
He just nodded when I mention her, as if expected as much.
He frown thinking.
"It makes sense, but it doesn't. She's very like them in many ways, but she isn't. She's different. I don't even think she realise the connection between them, though the ones in Italy certainly did."
"Er, so what do want to do? Ask her if she's join any armies lately?" Emmett asked unhelpfully. Carlisle sighed.
"I don't know there are things that still don't make sense and I want to be absolutely sure about this. Alice where is Bella exactly?"
I grinned unhappily.
"Running threw the forest as we speak, away from the house and…" I trailed off, frowning.
"What?"
"I… I can't see her anymore, it's like she suddenly became aware of me and shut me out." I crossed my arms across my chest and started to grumble incoherently. Carlisle gave another sigh.
"We'll go back and have a look for her, I think she'll come back on her own, but I want to make sense of something's."
Edward nodded. He really was freaking out, things really where turning out worst then any of us imagine.
I walked with him, watching him fidget. He didn't want to go home and wait, he wanted to go out and look for her.
"She might just want a walk." I told him, he didn't look convince neither was I.
Then I saw her running back towards the house, as if desperate to beat whatever was behind her. Wow, she can run fast.
Author's Note: So how was that? Things are beginning to start moving again. I swear the army will make an appearence soon, I swear. By the way, is everyone happy with Bella's cat being named Isis, it had the highest votes. 3. I was actually going for Twilight, but as I explained in this chapter it sounds more of a boy name then a girls. And see Edward has finally started to make things right between him and Bella. I had a nice happy feeling writing some of their parts in this chapter.
Thank you reading and please Review. Your Reviews are one of the main reason I am still writing this, even though at times it really, really hard. Thanks, see you in the next chapter.
