ECW On Sci-Fi
Episode 10 - August 15, 2006
From the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York
It was the night after a history making Hardcore Heaven. The new ECW World Heavyweight Champion Tommy Dreamer made his way to the ring. He had bandages all over him as the crowd gave him a standing ovation. He grabbed a mic and held his title up high. "Thank you. Just a couple of days ago, I was in one of the most vile, gruesome matches ever seen on ECW or a wrestling show in general. And I said it, I was gonna win the ECW World Title, and I did. And first up-" Paul Heyman's entrance music played as he came to the ramp.
"I hate to cut your celebration short, but that crazy bastard Sabu wants a rematch! Now, as you found out today, our next pay-per-view, Anarchy Rulez, will take place in the James Griffin Stadium in St. Paul, Minnesota. Since it's and open roof venue, Sabu's taken the oppurtunity to challenge you to not just any match, but an Exploding Barbed ire Cage, Ring time bomb deathmatch!" The crowd went crazy upon hearing this.
"WHAT?! Joey Styles exclaimed. "Does Sabu have a death wish or something?!
"I've seen these type of matches in FMW." Tazz said. "They're insane."
"Well all I have to say to Sabu is," Tommy Dreamer said, "bring it on! I'm not scared of him!"
"It's your life." Paul E. said casually. "But hey, this will get us big buyrates, so what the hell? At Anarchy Rulez, you'll defend your belt against Sabu in said exploding barbed wire cage match!" Paul dropped the mic and left. Tommy smirked and left the ring as ECW went to a commercial.
Mike Knox vs. Balls Mahoney
AC/DC's Big Balls played and Balls Mahoney made his entrance to huge cheers. Then, Mike Knox made his entrance.
"For the past few weeks, Mike Knox has been on a path of destruction..." Joey Styles said.
Mike had developed a small fanbase, thanks to his matches. The two locked up, and Balls got a headlock. Mike Knox got up and sent Balls to the ropes. He irish whipped him and went for a clothesline, but Balls ducked and gave him a neckbreaker. Balls then gave him a snapmare and dropkicked the back of his neck. Balls grabbed his signature chair. He tried to hit Mike with it, but he ducked and gave Mahoney a German suplex. Balls got up, and then Mike Knox clotheslined him out of the ring and followed with a suicide dive! Knox whipped Balls into the guard rail and went for another clothesline, but was met with a boot to the face. Balls gave him a couple of punches, but then Knox gave him a punch of his own. He got a table from under the ring and set it up. He lifted Mahoney up, but Balls gave him a stiff punch to the face and brought him back in the ring. Then, Balls gave him the punch combo...
"BALLS, BALLS, BALLS, BALLS, BALLS, OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH BALLS!"
Mike Knox stumbled around, dizzy. Balls gave him a clothesline and a leg drop. Balls grabbed the chair and went for a shot, but Knox ducked, ran, and gave him a running elbow. Mike dragged him to the apron and lifted him up, but Balls DDT'd him. He covered, 1...2...NO! Balls grabbed his chair and went for another shot, but Knox moved out the way, and the chair hit the top rope, rebounded off of it, and hit Balls in the face! Balls stumbled to the center and dropped his chair, and then Knox DDT'd him onto it! Knox whipped Balls into the ropes and gave him a powerslam. He followed with an elbow. He lifted Balls up, but was given a low blow. Balls gave him a couple of clotheslines. He raised an arm up, and then gave Knox a monstrous chairshot! He then brought Mike to the top rope, and then gave him a spine buster off the top rope, through the table outside!!!!
"OH MY GOD!!!"
"ECDUB! ECDUB! ECDUB!"
"Don't go anywhere we have to take a break!" Tazz said.
ECW came back on the air as Balls had Mike on the top turnbuckle. He tried a superplex, but Knox pushed him off. He climbed down the turnbuckle, whipped Balls into the ropes, and planted him with a spinebuster, he covered, 1...2...Justin Credible came and broke the pin! With a singapore cane in hand, Justin waited for Mike to get up and hit him with in the head with the cane, busting him open. Balls then grabbed the chair, and then cracked Knox in the head with it so hard that he fell on his face instead of his back! Balls pinned him, 1...2...3!
Justin raised Balls' arm up and left the ring. Mike Knox got up and then marched backstage. Then the camera cut, as Joel Gertner was about to interview C.W Anderson.
"You know," Anderson began, "I haven't got a shot at the ECW Television title since Heatwave, and it's all because of a has-been that hasn't had a notable career since 1996! I'm not gonna let a curtain-jerker step in the limelight and steal my chance at glory, so Kurt, demand an ECW World Heavyweight title shot next week!" Then, 2 Cold Scorpio came in.
"Hey punk, I heard all the shit you were talkin' just a moment ago, and I couldn't help but notice that you've lost to Kurt before!" Scorpio said.
"Well you lost to him just a few days ago at Hardcore Heaven!" Anderson replied.
"Well, just take a wild guess to find out who I beat to even get a match with Angle! Kurt, you waste your time with this pathetic piece of shi-" Then, out of nowhere, Anderson attacked Scorpio from behind. Scorpio turned around and punched Anderson in the face, and then they began brawling.
Then, Kurt Angle came out. He was wearing a suit, and had gold around his waist. Unfortunately for Kurt, the fans had found out about his contract situation and were riding him hard…
"YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT!"
"You know, it's absolutely pathetic to see you two punks fighting over which one of you gets to lose to me again." Kurt bragged. He stepped into the ring; he was so confident that he felt he was untouchable in a ring with these two guys in it. "You guys are just losers from the past that my ECW fans don't care about!" The fans were pelting garbage at Kurt several times. CW Anderson and 2 Cold Scorpio looked at each other and decided that enough was enough and both took shots at Angle!
"Well this has turned into a fight!" Tazz said.
"And we wouldn't like it any other way!" Styles added.
Anderson and Scorpio were fighting over who would get a shot at Angle, and eventually started getting into a three-way slugfest. Finally, Paul Heyman came out to try and settle everything.
"Man, is the new ECW incredible or what?!" The fans cheered. "You know what, fuck control! How about you guys have a three-way dance for the ECW TV Title right here, right now?!"
Kurt wasn't gonna have any of that. "Bullshit!" Kurt protested. "These guys both lost to me- hell, I'm not even in proper ring gear!"
"Well you better get your ass backstage and get ready!" Paul said. "You have 3 minutes! If you're not in the ring by the time we come back from the commercial break, then you'll forfeit the title!" Kurt was livid!
"If I were Kurt, I'd stop complaining and get back there now!" Tazz said.
"Well, hopefully, we'll have a 3-Way Dance after this next commercial break!" Joey Styles said as ECW went to a commercial.
When ECW came back, Scorpio and Anderson were still in the ring. Kurt's music played and he came out…but he was still in a suit!
"What hell is he doing?!" Joey Styles asked.
Kurt came in the ring and grabbed a mic. 2 Cold Scorpio and CW Anderson didn't even want to be in the same ring as him.
"YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!"
"Let me tell you something – it was Vince McMahon's idea to put me here in ECW, not Paul Heyman's? I could really care less about Paul Heyman and this shithole of a promotion!" The crowd was throwing garbage at him and getting restless. "Shut up! To be honest, considering the kind of career I have, ECW was a step down! Now sure, I won a title, but I most of the time, I was treated like shit here. I know that someone was playing politics back there to keep me from ever getting involved in World Title competition, because they know I would've won, and they'd have no chance at getting the title! ECW, and this is the gospel truth, is the worst thing to happen to wrestling! It set it back 10 years, and I don't know what I was thinking when I was involved with it in 1996! Worst of all, its run by a piece of shit owner! Paul E. Heyman is someone who lets people run around and tie people on crosses, and when it happens, he just gives bullshit excuses like 'I didn't know it would happen!' Well I'm sick of being fed a bunch of bullshit! I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, a multi time WWE champion, and I could care less about the letters ECW!" Kurt threw the title down and left the ring.
"YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT!"
Kurt was swearing at the hostile crowd while he left the arena and ECW.
"Well don't let the doorknob hit you on the ass on the way out, Angle!" Tazz said, furious.
"You know, how pathetic was that promo just now?" Joey Styles asked. "Kurt was simply afraid of 2 Cold Scorpio and Anderson, and he just needed whatever excuse he needed so he can get out without saying he lost a title here! May he rot in that certain promotion in Florida!"
After the shocking turn of events, ECW went to a commercial break.
When it came back, a video promo aired for Raven. Him and his flock were celebrating their victory over Sandman.
Then, The F.B.I made their way to the ring, wearing suits. Little Guido grabbed a mic "See what did I tell ya? It's amazing what you can get with two big guys, huh? That makes a wide open mouth even more amazing, doesn't it Trinity?"
"I KNEW IT!" Joey Styles jokingly exclaimed.
Tony Mamaluke grabbed the mic. "Yup, fellatiataccio is amazing!" Little Guido grabbed the mic again. "You see, da four of us came in with a strategy, and we outsmarted Kid Kash and E.Z Money. They shouldn't even be trying to make a comeback and take the title from us!"
"WHERE'S MY PIZZA?! WHERE'S MY PIZZA?!"
Then, Money Ain't A Thang blasted and EZ Money came out by himself. He had a mic in his hands and spoke. "I have to hand it to you – you were smart. Kid Kash is injured, which means I can't even get another title match." EZ credited them. "How about we just end all of this bullshit now?" EZ walked in the ring and extended his hand toward Little Guido. Little Guido actually shook his hand, but of course, Big Show came in and attacked EZ Money.
"Oh come on!" Joey Styles complained. "He was showing you respect!"
The FBI laid a beat down on EZ Money. Big Show gave him the Cobra Clutch backbreaker, and then him and Big Guido gave him a Double Chokeslam in the middle of the ring. EZ Money was a shell of his former self as he lay in the middle of the ring lifeless. ECW then went to a commercial break.
When it came back, Joel Gertner introduced the Whole F'N Show, Rob Van Dam. "Rob, how do you feel about your match last night?"
"Hey, I've got respect for CM Punk." Rob replied. "But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm The Whole…Fuckin'…Show. CM Punk caught me off guard and he came in with a strategy, and gets points from me for that. But I'd love to wrestle to him again!" RVD said.
"And I'd love to see that match!" Joey Styles said.
"But we're about to have a match of the same caliber next!" Tazz said.
Sabu vs. CM Punk
It had been an odd night in the land of extreme. There was only one match, which went by quickly, and Kurt Angle walked out. But now, all that was about to change. The former ECW World Champion Sabu entered first. He was bandaged up as many people question whether or not he was even 100. But nevertheless, Sabu was going to give the audience a great show. CM Punk came out next to a standing ovation. He flashed the X Symbol as he stepped into the ring.
"The crowd loves CM Punk!" Tazz said.
"Well who wouldn't after last Sunday's match?" Styles added.
The bell rang, and the two locked up. CM Punk got an armdrag, but Sabu popped right back up. CM Punk went for another one, but Sabu landed on his feet. He kicked Punk in the ribs, whipped him into the ropes and went for a clothesline, but Punk ducked and went for a neckbreaker, but Sabu reversed it into a Hangman's neck breaker for 2. Sabu lifted CM Punk up and got a snapmare and followed with a dropkick to the back of the neck. He delivered several kicks to the back of Punk's neck and went for a cover, but Punk kicked out. Sabu stomped on Punks back and gave him a Camel Clutch. Punk got to his feet and backed Sabu into a corner. He Irish whipped Sabu into the opposing turnbuckle, but Sabu reversed into a whip of his own, but CM Punk hopped up to the top rope, did a corkscrew somersault, and caught Sabu with a neckbreaker!
"Wow!" Tazz yelled.
"CM Punk simply never fails to impress!" Joey Styles proclaimed.
CM Punk covered, but only got two. He gave Sabu a neck vice. After a few moments, Sabu got a jawbreaker to escape. However, CM Punk gave him a nasty step-up enzugiri, gave Sabu a snapmare, and gave him a stiff kick to the back of the neck for two. CM Punk lifted Sabu up and lifted him into the ropes, but Sabu springboarded off of them and got a leg lariat! Sabu then left the ring and grabbed a chair. He threw it at CM Punk, but Punk caught it and attempted to hit Sabu with it, but Sabu ducked and dropkicked it into Punk's face! Then, Sabu grabbed the chair, ran towards the ropes, and got a springboard chair-assisted moonsault! He covered, 1…2…NO! CM Punk cowered toward the ropes, and then Sabu threw the chair directly at his head, sending him out of the ring. Sabu then gave him a slingshot Somersault plancha! He whipped CM Punk into the railing and gave him a shoulder thrust, causing the railing to snap! Sabu grabbed a chair from a fan and hit CM Punk with it. Then, Sabu went to the ring, set up the chair that he previously used, and grabbed the chair he got from the fan. He then got a triple jump diving chairshot into the crowd, hitting CM Punk in the head!
"OH MY GOD!"
"ECDUB! ECDUB! ECDUB!"
"Don't go anywhere, we'll be back!"
When ECW came back on the air, CM Punk had Sabu in a seated position on the railing. He went for the running front kick, but Sabu moved out the way. He gave CM Punk a jumping clothesline, and then set him up on the railing. He grabbed a chair from the timekeeper, set it up, and got the Air Sabu! He then went under the ring and pulled a table from under it! He set it up, but CM Punk kicked him. They went back in the ring, and CM Punk gave Sabu a series of kicks, backing him up into the ropes. CM Punk bounced off the ropes and charged at him, but Sabu backdropped him over the ropes but CM Punk landed on the apron. Sabu turned around and CM Punk got an incredible springboard tornado DDT to huge cheers! CM Punk covered, 1…2…NO! The crowd was giving both guys a standing ovation for their match and effort so far.
CM Punk got up and went for a Shining Wizard, but Sabu grabbed his leg, put him in Electric Chair position, and dropped him down to the mat. Sabu left the ring and grabbed the chair. He set it up, and then ran off of the chair and got a triple jump moonsault press, since CM Punk had made it to his feet! He set Punk on the top rope, set the chair up and went for a springboard huracanrana, but CM Punk pushed him off and gave him a hulacanrana! He covered, 1…2…Thr-NO! CM Punk was wondering what he would have to do to take Sabu out. Sabu was slowly getting up to one foot, so CM Punk gave him a Shining Wizard for two. He lifted Sabu up, gave him the slap & kick combo and went for Uranage, but Sabu countered to a DDT! Sabu whipped Punk into the ropes, Punk went for a clothesline, but Sabu ducked, Punk kept running, and was met with a stiff leg lariat that drew blood from Punk's forehead! CM Punk rolled out the ring to recuperate.
"CM Punk really needs to rethink his strategy." Tazz said. "Wrestling Sabu is a whole 'nother ball game."
Sabu then climbed the top rope and got a diving clothesline! Sabu brought the chair in and whipped CM Punk into the railing. He set the chair up next top the table, jumped off the chair, ran across the table, and got a jumping leg lariat on to CM Punk! CM Punk crawled near the table and Sabu charged near him, but CM Punk gave him a drop toehold onto the table, busting Sabu open! CM Punk went back in the ring to rest, and then Sabu made his way back. He was laying halfway on the second rope, so CM Punk caught him in a vulnerable position. He climbed the top rope, and got a diving legdrop to the back of the neck! Sabu fell out of the ring again, and then CM Punk ran, and got a springboard splash!
"CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK!"
"These guys are just going all out!" Joey Styles said.
CM Punk brought Sabu back in the ring and covered, 1…2...THR-NO! CM Punk was pissed and argued with the referee. Sabu then rolled CM Punk up, 1…2…NO! CM Punk ran towards Sabu and went for a jumping clothesline, but Sabu caught him and gave him a fallaway slam! CM Punk left the ring, and Sabu gave him a baseball slide. Sabu rammed CM Punk's head in to the announce table and whipped him into the steps. He set CM Punk on the top of the steps, climbed to the top rope and went for a leg drop, but CM Punk moved out of the way and Sabu landed on his ass on the steps! CM Punk climbed to the top and went for another hulacanrana, but Sabu caught him and tossed him into the guard rail! Sabu then set CM Punk on the table. Sabu grabbed the chair and set it up in the ring. CM Punk got up, so Sabu ran and went for a triple jump tornado DDT through the table, but Punk caught him and gave him a pumphandle piledriver though the table!!!!
"OH MY GOD!!" Joey Styles exclaimed.
"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
CM Punk brought Sabu back in the ring and pinned, 1…2…3! CM Punk won his second ECW match!
"That right there was a great match!" Tazz applauded.
"CM Punk once again proves that he's cut out for ECW!" Joey Styles mentioned.
The crowd gave both men a standing ovation while CM Punk celebrating. ECW went off the air with the last thing that was seen being CM Punk flashing the X.
Sorry for how long it took for an update. I've been lazy and have been looking for inspiration.
