Hermione cried herself to sleep and woke up feeling dehydrated and weak as a result. She thanked Merlin it was Saturday. She would be able to get done what she needed to do.

Hermione got dressed quickly and headed out her door.

"Hey Hermione" Ron called out her name before she was able to reach the portrait hole. He had a bright smile on his face. It quickly disappeared when he saw how miserable Hermione looked.

"You alright 'Mione?"

Hermione couldn't even lie as she shook her head.

Ron didn't ask her what was wrong he just pulled her close and hugged her. She broke down and cried in his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it? You can talk to me" said Ron.

"I-I don't want to talk about it. I just- I want everything to do with this stupid war to be over"

"The war hasn't even really started yet" said Ron regretfully.

'I know" moaned Hermione. She pulled herself closer to her friend. "I'm an emotional wreck right now, Ron. I'm so sorry I'm blubbering like this"

"It's alright 'Mione. I'm here for you whenever you need me" he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.

She took it graciously from him and dried her face. "Thank you". She presented it back to him when her face was as dry as it was going to get.

Ron put his hand up and refused it back. "Keep it. I have more"

"Thank you" Hermione repeated. She was going to need it she had a long day ahead of her.

"What are you doing today?" asked Ron.

"I was about to go for a walk"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I need sometime by myself to just clear my head, you know?"

"Yeah, I understand" Ron gave her another quick hug. "Just take care of yourself, alright?"

"I will. I promise." She did her best to give him a smile. It was weak but it was as genuine as it was going to get. She meant it with all of her heart but she just didn't have the strength to feel any kind of joy that day. "I love you Ron"

"I love you too Hermione" Ron replied without hesitation. What she wouldn't give to get that kind of reaction out of Draco. Even if he didn't mean it romantically. Even if it was just as a friend it would be enough for her to know that he loved her in some way. She wanted to hear it from him. But that was never going to happen.

"I'll see you later" said Hermione, waving goodbye to Ron.

"Ok. Enjoy your walk"

Hermione turned around and walked out of the portrait hole. She thought over the address in her mind, 428 Knockturn Alley… She read the card a million times over and had it committed to her memory.

Since Hermione was of age and it was the weekend she was allowed to sign herself out of the grounds. She wrote down that she would be going to Diagon Alley for school supplies. She would give anything to have that be the truth.

On her way to the front of the grounds she stopped at the owlery. She knew Draco had asked her not to tell him when she went to do this but she felt he had a right to know. She wanted to tell someone.

She pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote her message quickly, and sen tit off. It simply stated,

I'm Going

Hermione felt as if all the butterflies that had once fluttered about in her chest had set themselves on fire and turned into ash. Her mouth felt dry and her stomach was queasy. She shook it off and focused on getting past the apparition point.

She turned and found herself standing at the edge of Knockturn alley. This was it.

Just do this Hermione. Don't over think it. It will be over faster than it started.

/

Draco was sitting in the Great Hall with Pansy eating breakfast when the owl reached him. He pulled the note out and read the two simple words.

I'm Going

He shot up out of his seat immediately, startling Pansy.

"Draco?"

He ignored her and read the note again. What was she doing? He'd spoken to her once about the possibility of them having this child. He didn't think that what he'd said or what she'd said really held any permanence. He figured that it would have all blown over by that night and they would be able to try to discuss everything again.

She was serious and she was on her way, that very moment to have an abortion.

Draco still wasn't sure what he wanted to do. But he didn't want the decision to be ripped out of his hands two days after finding out he had a choice. He didn't want her to do this. Not today.

He felt a sense of panic and rushed out the great hall and practically ran to the Gryffindor commons leaving Pansy stunned and confused in the Hall.

/

Hermione didn't like the feel she got walking down Knockturn Alley. It was full of dark magic and underground business exchanges. She made sure to keep her head down, only lifting her eyes to follow the numbers posted on the buildings.

422…424….her eyes searched for her destination. She reached 426 and it immediately led to 430. She stopped there and realized she had to walk down the alley between the two shops. It was cold, wet and narrow. She practically had to turn her body to fit down it. The door was attached to the back of the shop next to it. It didn't look like a business; it looked like the door to someone's run down patio.

Hermione felt a surge of nerves go through her. She took a deep breath to steady herself and knocked on the door.

Every second seemed to slow down. The sound of footsteps approached the door until it opened before her revealing a very tall, slender, older witch with long dark hair. She looked very aged but couldn't have been far past her fifties.

"Can I help you my dear?" the woman snided down at her. Hermione realized how out of place she looked.

Hermione was surprised to hear how unstable her voice sounded. "I-I found your card…in a book at school" Hermione couldn't bring herself to look into this woman's eyes as a grin came across her face.

"Ah yes," said the woman. Hermione knew from her tone that she was at the right place and that the woman before her knew exactly why she had come. "Come on in my dear. Make yourself comfortable"

Hermione walked up the steps and followed the witch inside.

/

Draco didn't care if he was spotted as he rushed through the portrait hole. It was mere luck that no one saw him as he slipped down the hall leading to Hermione's room. He got up to the door and remembered he didn't know the password. He prayed she was inside.

He knocked, loudly.

No answer.

"Fuck"

He tried again.

Still no answer. Either she wasn't in there or she was ignoring him. He had no idea where she could be if she wasn't there. And he highly doubted that she'd told Weasley or Potter that she had left school to get an abortion so it wouldn't do any good to ask them where she was. His only hope was that she was still inside her room, angry with him and ignoring his knocking.

He prayed that was the case. She could hate him all she wanted as long as she was still in the school; as long as she didn't leave.

He decided he was going to try to guess her password. It was all he could do. He felt frantic and helpless.

"Uh…damn you Hermione…let's see…Potter?"

No reaction. He tried again, spitting out a series of guesses.

"Harry Potter? Weasley? Ron Weasley? Lavender is an idiot? No, that was stupid…um… I hate Pansy?"

He pulled at his hair and he tried to think of a more reasonable guess.

"Hogwarts, A History? I love homework. I don't know, I'm Hermione Granger and I'm an idiot for running off to kill my unborn child without permission" said Draco frustrated.

That wasn't true.

He'd given her permission. He gave up. He quit before he had even tried.

He shut his eyes tightly and scowled.

"Draco, you're an idiot sometimes"

To his surprise, the door clicked open.

Draco. The password had been Draco.

He thanked Merlin and pushed his way inside.

He didn't see her in his room, and her bathroom was empty. Her wand was gone as well as her coat. She'd left. He was too late.

He tried to not lose control as he thought of her alone somewhere getting the irreversible accomplished. It was chance that his eyes looked up and caught the business card sitting on her night stand.

Madam Infinity

Divination wares and supplies

428 Knockturn Alley

Madam Infinity? Divination? Hermione hated divination. This card looked like a load of croc but it was all he had to go on. He grabbed it, rushed back out of her room and flew out to get past the apparition point.

Nothing mattered more than getting to her as fast as he could.

/

Hermione figured that the tall witch before her was Madam Infinity.

"I assume you have a means to pay?"

Hermione nodded and handed her a small sack of galleons. She was sure there more than enough in there. She didn't care if she was overpaying. She just wanted it done and she wanted it done correctly.

"You've never done this before have you? "said the witch with a sly look on her face.

"Of course not!" Hermione realized how short she had sounded and rephrased, "No. this wasn't supposed to happen…"

The witch didn't seem offended; she just continued to smile at her as if she was amused with her misfortune.

"You needn't worry; it will all be over soon. The procedure won't take long"

"What will you do?" Hermione wouldn't deny that she was nervous and scared.

"Come with me" said Madam Infinity leading her into another room at the back of the store. The madam pulled a curtain aside and revealed a long couch. It was similar to couches Hermione had seen used for psychiatry patients. This particular couch had a deep red color and was covered in a soft velvet like fabric.

"Lie down" the Madam instructed.

Hermione did as she was told. Her heart felt as if it was going to beat out of her chest.

"Rita!" shouted Madam Infinity. There was a small pop and a tiny grey house elf appeared.

"Yes mistress?" asked the house else, her head bowed until her ears touched the floor.

Madam Infinity looked to Hermione with an eerily sweet smile on her face.

"Can Rita bring you anything to drink my dearest?"

Hermione shook her head. If she tried to put anything in her mouth she was going to get sick.

"What are you going to do to me?" Hermione asked with her eyes clamped shut. She tried to relax as her body lay extended on the couch. It might have been soft but it wasn't comforting.

"Just a bit of wand-work and potion is all. Drink this" Madam Infinity handed her a vial of thin pink liquid. It seemed to be boiling but when Hermione held it in her hand it was cool to the touch.

"This will allow me to make all of this go away. In summary, what I will do is reverse your pregnancy. Working backwards up to the point of conception. At which point I will vanish the fertilized egg until there's no trace anything ever happened." She said it so brightly, as if it was no big deal. The entire procedure reeked of dark magic. She would be erasing the possibility of life within her. Hermione shuddered to think of it.

"Are there any risks?" Hermione asked

"Only if I attempt to vanish the egg too quickly. If I try to remove it at a stage later than the point of conception…well let's just say, it hasn't happened more than once in the last twenty five years I've been doing this"

Hermione didn't ask how many of these she did each week. She didn't want to know. Her odds sounded pretty good and she needed to relax. She wasn't really killing anything she was just erasing a mistake. Everything was going to be okay.

"Are you ready?" asked Madam Infinity.

Hermione nodded, she tipped the potion back and let it move through her. She felt a cooling sensation flow through her entire body, within moments it switched its feel and began to warm her from her core, outward. She suddenly felt very relaxed as she lay her back down.

"I know you'll want to fall asleep, but try not to." Instructed Madam Infinity.

Hermione nodded her head slowly, her eye lids were heavy. She was so mellow, so chill and relaxed. Everything was going to be fine. She felt really good about this. Clearly, she had made the right decision. She wasn't even mad at herself or Draco. Everything in the world was alright.

Madam Infinity loomed over her with her wand raised over her core and began to mutter her enchantments.

/

Where was this damn place? He didn't have very long to find her. He hadn't wasted time checking himself out at the school and he was sure there would be a professor or a prefect sent to retrieve him shortly. Students who weren't granted approved clearance to leave the grounds were tracked.

Draco didn't care.

People gave him suspicious looks. Draco had gone down these streets all his life and still he felt unwelcomed wherever he went. The dark feeling that loomed the alley didn't bother him anymore.

He pulled the card out of his pocket and read it again. 428, that should be on the next block. He walked a bit faster.

/

Hermione felt like she could have been getting a massage at a spa. Madam Infinity had a concentrated look on her face. Clearly, what she was doing was very difficult. If it was, Hermione couldn't tell. She couldn't feel a thing.

"Almost finished" said Madam Infinity softly.

Hermione didn't mind how long it took. She could stay in this state for hours. feeling light as a feather, just floating over the soft couch beneath over.

Madam Infinity made a concerning face, her brow scrunched up as her eyes squinted a bit more. It didn't last long. Her wand made a quick knot like motion and then with a final swish Hermione came down from her cloud.

"How was that?"

"I didn't feel a thing"

Madam Infinity smiled sweetly at her. She opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by a loud banging at the door.

"Rita, get the door" she commanded.

Who on earth was at her door knocking like that?

The tiny elf was nearly flung across the room as the door burst open and Draco forced his way inside.

"Hermione?" he called out. "Hermione are you in here?"

"Draco?" Hermione called out. She tried to sit up but found that her body was too exhausted. She could barely move.

Draco followed the sound of her voice and found her in the back room.

He felt his stomach drop. "Tell me you didn't"

"It's already done" Madam Infinity simply stated. She hadn't appreciated the way he had barged into her store. "I assume you're the reason she's here"

Draco just stood there, stunned.

"Have a seat" instructed the Madam, snapping him out of his daze.

The house elf pulled up a chair behind him so that he could sit down next to Hermione.

He looked her over before he spoke softly, "I wish you hadn't done this"

"Draco," it hurt to talk, "we already went over this"

Hermione's voice was soft and strained.

"I'll give you some privacy" said Madam Infinity excusing herself. If Hermione's payment hadn't been so generous she would have kicked Draco out the moment he kicked open her door.

Draco didn't care anymore. He let himself get emotional and allowed the wetness push forward in his eyes.

It was gone. The possibility of creating something beautiful was gone.

Hermione reached out her hand. Draco slipped his hand into hers and squeezed.

"Don't hate me" Hermione whispered. "I had to"

Draco just shook his head and the pressure in his eyes increased. "I wish you hadn't" he repeated.

The first tear fell and hit the top of her hand. Hermione had never seen him cry before.

He had never felt this broken before. Draco had made a lot of mistakes in his life but nothing could describe what he felt in that moment.

Hermione didn't say anything. She just held onto his hand tighter as he softly cried beside her. When he finally opened his eyes she could see the water shimmering over his grey orbs.

"I should have just told you-"he said more so to himself than to her.

"Told me what?" asked Hermione.

"I-I should have just told how I really feel. This entire time, I shouldn't have tried to be something I'm not. I shouldn't have repressed how I honestly felt because of some stupid cause that I don't even believe in. I don't care if a war is coming up, I don't want to be on the losing side. I want to be standing wherever you are Hermione. Right or wrong, if I'm next to you it's where I belong."

Hermione was lost for words. Her body was so drained she couldn't have said much if she'd had the ability.

She felt a burning in her core. She assumed it was her body noticing the sudden vacancy. It felt terrible. She hadn't anticipated this. Her hand clenched against his sharply as reality crashed over her.

"Oh my god, what have I done" she gasped. She couldn't breathe. Draco pulled her up into a sitting position and held her close to him. They were both vulnerable, weak and filled with regret that they hadn't been strong enough to sustain the pregnancy that was just destroyed.

Hermione buried her face into Draco's neck and let her tears run free as she listened to the sound of his voice.

"I should have told you how I really felt from the first time I realized what you meant to me" he confessed as he held her closer.

"You are so confusing Draco" said Hermione angrily through her tears.

"I know. I'm an idiot" admitted Draco. He had stopped crying but there were tear streaks stained on his face and his eyes were still red. "I'm an idiot and I'm a coward. I could have prevented all of this by just having the courage to admit that I love you." He shook his head in disbelief as he said it.

Hermione almost didn't catch what he'd said. She knew she'd heard it but she didn't believe it, "What did you say Draco?"

Draco looked Hermione directly into her tear filled eyes. "I said that I love you and I'm sorry that I was never the man you deserve to be with. But I want to be that man more than anything"

"What about your parents, what about Pansy?" Hermione couldn't believe the things she was hearing.

"Fuck them. I don't care. All I need is to be with you. You make me happier than anyone I've ever known. Your personality fits with mine so well it scares me sometimes. I'm miserable when I'm not around you. I can't imagine leaving school after this year and not seeing you every day. I don't want to imagine it"

Hermione was distraught .All the reasons she had used to justify the decision she'd just made were crumbling apart. She had made a horrible mistake. She felt herself on the verge of hyperventilating again, "I hate you right now" she gasped.

Why had he waited until now to have an epiphany? Why had he waited until it was already too late to say something?

They both began to cry again. "I know that I should have said something before and that it's too late now" he let go of her hand and touched her stomach gently. His hand was shaking. The small bump was already gone. It was as if it never happened. He hated it.

"Can you forgive me? Hermione, I'm willing to be better. I'm willing to change." claimed Draco as he looked into her eyes. Desperation pleading behind those beautiful gray eyes.

Hermione felt so lost. Overwhelmed by his sudden declaration of love for her and the reality that she had just killed their child.

Before Hermione could answer him, Madam Infinity returned to the room. She handed Hermione a two vials. "Drink the white one now. It will give you the strength and energy to get back home. The Red one is for later. You'll get hit with another wave of fatigue and you may feel sore. I wouldn't take it until you're about to go to bed"

Hermione couldn't bring herself to thank her. She silently took the vials and drank the white one. Immediately she felt some strength coming back to her. She still felt weak through it. She knew that it was more so from being emotionally drained than it was from the physical effects of the produce she'd had one.

Draco helped her keep her balance allowing her to lean her weight against him as they walked back out onto the street.

"Come here" Draco turned Hermione to face him. She clung tightly onto him as he apparated them both back to the school.

A:N/ Don't hate me *Runs and hides* I was just listening to the muse! Don't forget to review!