We stayed in for a while, mainly enjoying each others company as best we could with us both being distracted by other thoughts as we sat side by side on the couch, his arm around me as I leaned on him.
But eventually my anxiety got the better of me as I couldn't stop worrying about Amy, Rae and the kids, I had to see them and I had to see them right now before I was driven with madness.
I tried to convince Brendan to stay behind, I felt this was something I should sort myself but Brendan insisted on being there for me for support.
Eventually I gave up letting him tag a long so long as he stayed well back once we arrived at mine so that I could talk to them without Brendan distracting them, thankfully he agreed.
I didn't bother to try and ring either of them on the way, knowing they would probably not answer anyway as I made it to the flat nervously with Brendan close behind. When we arrived he hung back a little as I reached up to ring the door bell shouting Amy's name as I did. To my surprise she answered the door but looking pissed off.
"What do you want Ste?" She asked not sounding pleased to see me at all, it seemed she wasn't gonna be up for forgiving me anytime soon and I guessed Rae would be the same.
"Can we talk, please?" I said quietly not wanting to freak her out in case she slammed the door on my face.
"We can talk here, your not coming in." She replied, her face was set in stone making my heart sink with grief.
"Amy, please I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, just please forgive me?" I started begging her as tears threatened to fall and I tried desperately to compose myself.
"It's not me you need to apologize to!" She yelled back in my face making me wince slightly. She was right, I needed to speak to Rae.
"Is she in?" I asked hopefully, I didn't want either of them to hate me, I was sure I could hate myself for the both of them.
She looked at me with that same stone expression, cold with her lips set firmly into a tight line as if she wanted to tell me to fuck off, which I guess she did want to.
"She's gone to live with her gran." She said and went to shut the door on me but I put out a foot and stopped her making her look back at me, her expression never changing.
"She okay?" I asked hoping to try and get onto Amy's good side showing her how sorry and concerned I really was.
"She wants you to stay away, so take the hint." That hurt, a lot. I glanced at her as she waited for me to move but I held my ground not moving my foot.
"Please don't kick me out Amy, I need you and the kids, please." I was aware I was begging again but instead of answering she slammed the door on my foot hard making me yelp and jump backwards as she slammed and locked the door.
What really would be helpful is that if I didn't often leave my keys at the flat locking myself out, I don't know how I ever survived before I thought as I nursed my injured foot jumping on the spot.
I went back to the door starting to pound my fists on it while calling her name but Brendan pulled me back by the arm making me limp along with my now injured foot.
I fought against him telling him to let me go as he dragged me along trying to tell me to try again some other time and let her cool off.
"I wanna go see Rae Brendan." I said as he let go of me only to have me stagger not being able to put my weight onto my foot and I cried out making him take a hold of me again and supporting me.
"Not with you like this, Stephan." He said and I began to cry, it seemed like all I did lately was fucking cry I just couldn't get a fucking break.
"Brendan please." I really had to stop begging too but I couldn't help myself as he continued to drag me back to his house.
When we made it back he sat me on the couch taking a hold of my ankle and trying to make sure it wasn't broken which I don't think it was.
"It's just a bruise Stephan." He said taking a seat next to me and looking me over as I wiped my eyes drying them.
"She's not gonna let me see my kids again Brendan." I said feeling really down as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Give it time, yeah?" He replied keeping his voice soft and soothing and I nodded not really believing time would make this better. I'd fucked up big time and I wasn't sure anything would change it, she would never forgive me but I wouldn't give up either, my kids where everything to me.
We sat for some time, mainly chatting about anything but this weeks events. I realized he was trying to distract me and I was grateful for it, I tried to laugh a long to his jokes and tried to forget about the things I had done wondering if things could get even worse.
About five minutes after thinking this, Cheryl and Warren strode in chatting away before looking and noticing us and the smile from Cheryl's face dropped.
Shit, I had forgotten she wanted to chuck me out and with Warren and Brendan here to I wasn't sure this would be a great outcome for any of us.
"What you doing home sis?" Brendan asked looking wary, his eyes hooded and dangerously dark.
"Jaqui and Rhys are covering. Whats he still doing here?" She asked annoyed and I kept my head downcast as I was once again a liability.
"I won't kick him out Cheryl." He answered her both refusing to look away from each other first.
"Thats okay, I'll do it." She said turning to me before yelling "Out now!" at this Brendan stood up telling her to calm down and see reason.
Warren hung back watching the two of them squabble not knowing what to do but enjoying the drama all the same making me seethe with anger.
Before me or Brendan knew what was going on she was telling Warren to get me out of the house making him stride forward and pull me off the couch and pulling me towards the door.
Brendan cut in trying to prise him off of me and I felt like I was in a game of tug of war only I was the rope. At this Cheryl also cut in screaming at Brendan to get off of Warren and Brendan and Warren also screamed at each other making me snap, I'd had enough of being treat like crap.
"Just get off me, all of you!" I struggled out of their grip kicking and punching until they both let go.
"You heard her, get out rat boy." Warren seethed at me trying to grab hold of me again but Brendan stopped him looking ready to attack with rage.
I turned to Cheryl surprising her when I hugged her breaking down hoping she would change her mind. She stood in shock but didn't push me away before she began to hug me in return not knowing what to say or do.
"He can stay, but he's not my problem, got it?" She said talking to Brendan before turning away from me beckoning Warren to the couch.
"I want you in work tomorrow, no more bunking off or I'll dock your wages." Warren said pointing his finger before moving to Cheryl's side.
I saw Brendan glancing at his turned back looking manic and I couldn't help wondering that if Cheryl wasn't there would he kill him?
He seemed to snap out of it when he noticed Cheryl looking over before taking hold of my arm and directing me towards the stairs, I was getting a bit sick of being pushed and pulled a long but I didn't know what else to do.
As we went up stairs I heard Warren say something a long the lines of "anyone would think that those two where gay or something." And I silently laughed, oh Warren you really have no idea...
