Chase: We're sorry that Reza can't say hello to you for this chapter.
Jack: She probably won't be able to for a few chapters. So we will.
Lamia: Yeah, she has the laptop, but she has to push the keys with a pencil. The jacket won't let her use her hands.
Jack: I swear, when she gets out, I'm stealing her straightjacket and using it for a new outfit. This one is black. She once had a glow in the dark one.
Chase: How does this chick pull of such weirdness? Whatever, please enjoy her random tales about us.
Advisor-
Chase glared, "Wuya, get the hell out of here now. Your presence is unwelcome."
"Is that anyway to talk to Jack's personal advisor?"
Chase smirked as a pale hand touched Wuya's shoulder. The red-haired woman spun and met a fist rather quickly. She fell backwards onto the floor and held his now broken nose.
Lamia readjusted her gloves, "I'm Jack's advisor. But I'll give you some advice, too." She stepped closer to loom over the woman ominously, "Go. Away."
She glared and ran off.
Lamia smiled at Chase, "Nice job keeping your cool. I can't do that."
"I've noticed." Chase smiled, "But it's what makes you… you."
Jack walked in, looking over his shoulder.
"Hey, Wuya just ran past me… I think her nose is broken. She's bleeding a whole lot… what did you do?"
Chase pointed at Lamia. Lamia smiled in pride.
Jack sighed, "You two make my head hurt… but I love you."
Unafraid-
Chase sighed, still in dragon form from training, and curled up to rest a little before going to make sure Wuya wasn't screwing around his home.
He didn't realize he had fallen asleep, though.
And he had the craziest dream. A dream where someone-he couldn't tell who it was- loved him for who he was and not because he was good in bed and easy on the eyes. One that wasn't afraid to see his dragon form and didn't care if he was all-powerful or just another guy they met.
His dream was abruptly stopped when he felt a small warmth in his arms. He opened his eyes, ready to span off someone's head when he saw Jack, smiling and curling up next to him. He smiled and held the small youth closer, making him jump.
"What are you doing in my home, Spicer?"
"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chase… ah… I… um… I…. I'l leave now!"
Chase tightened his grip on the child.
"Ch-Chase?"
"Yes, Spicer?"
"Am I gonna die?"
Chase chuckled, "No, Jack… quite the opposite."
Thursday-
'Is this thing running? Okay… hello, Jack… I just wanted to say… I hope you're happy. You won. Omi's gone… We can't find Dojo… Master Fung is completely lost… Kimiko was shipped off to Japan… Clay was crushed by his own element… Raimundo was murdered last week. I don't think I have to mention Wuya. After all, you were the one who blew a giant hole in her stomach. Ashley was found on the beach the other day, too. Half gone and her head is still missing… but you don't care. On the up-side, Jermaine became a professional basketball player. I'm still at Chase's Citadel, waiting for something. Though, you're probably just going to listen to this message and laugh. You read the paper still, right? If you do, you might see a new headline… Lamia Spicer, sister to the ruler of the world, found dead. I hope you're happy.' Beeeeep 'Thursday, April first'
Jack sighed and looked at the morning paper. He never answered the phone. Not since Chase decided to betray him and try to kill him in bed. He thought it could be Chase coming back. He couldn't bear that.
He stared in shock at the headline.
LAMIA SPICER FOUND DEAD IN LAND OF NOWHERE. SUSPECTED HOMOCIDE.
Retarded-
"Please tell you have a mental deficiency and you're not just retarded." Chase groaned.
Lamia glared, "Shut up, boy. Hannibal Bean brought you to me to learn. Not to be a smart a-"
"Then teach me!"
A small voice rose out the of darkness, "Um… can I help?"
Lamia summoned her blue flames in defense but saw it was only a child. She didn't lower her defenses completely, but she lowered them enough for him to approach, "What is your name, child?"
"My name is Jack Spicer… I was sent into the past but both of you… to stop you from killing each other and destroying the future."
Lamia glared, "I have had enough of time travelers! The last one almost got me murdered!"
"Tohomiko didn't know anything about the Heylin side! How could she have stopped you from becoming evil when she didn't know you?"
Lamia blinked, "You… you know Tohomiko?"
"Her name was Kimiko, but yes. And Chase, you must listen to lamia and do as she says. Everything…. Will you stop staring at me like you're going to eat me! I get that enough!" Jack crossed his arms in defense, "I'm not dragon food!"
"How do you know of Chase's dragon form?" Lamia demanded, grabbing the boy roughly and summoning her cold fire.
"I am your future Master, and you my Guardian."
"You are lying, boy! Do not tempt me!"
Jack smirked, "Ha, but you've already told me how to convince you. Your name is Lamia, you have no last name, you became evil by drinking the Gé lǐ fēn soup, which enables you to turn into a Griffin form, which is completely red with orange eyes and some battle scars. Your favorite color is red and you love playing card games. After killing you fellow monks you swore to Hannibal Bean you would never love again. Must I continue?"
"No, I believe you." Lamia said and let him go.
"Damn right you do." Jack smiled, "Now how about a little lesson in evil for my dear Chase?"
Chase smirked, "How about I teach you a lesson in my room?"
Lamia groaned, "Dude! Seriously! You have, like, the largest sex drive in the world!"
Spleen-
"I'm gonna say a word, and you tell me the first thing that comes to mind." Jack smiled. Chase nodded and Jack began, "Corn."
"Radish."
"Tuberculosis."
"Squirrel."
"Sex."
"Jack."
"Spleen."
"Blood."
"Dragon."
"Crocodile."
"Griffin."
"Annoying."
"Wuya."
"Murder."
"Cat."
"Chicken."
"Turkey."
"Cheeseburger."
"Teddy bear."
"Ninja Fred."
Jack paused. "What the hell is Ninja Fred?"
"Sometimes I wish I didn't know so much."
Salami-
"Chase?" … "Chase?" … "Chase!"… "Chase!"… "Dammit Chase, answer me!"
Chase blinked out of his trance and looked at his consort, "Hm?"
"What the hell was that?"
Chase shook his head, "You and Lamia are wearing off on me."
"How?"
"I just imagined destroying the Xiaolin with a giant salami."
Advisor- Cont. of Aid and Self-employment. Wuya was fired, but won't leave the job… Well… wouldn't. I think Lamia convinced her well enough.
Unafraid- Before Wuya moved out and teamed up with Hannibal and before Lamia jumps in. Chase had a dream about Jack!
Thursday- Again, in a depressed mood. And, for some reason, I always have my characters either get murdered or commit suicide. Lamia was talking to Jack through his answering machine. She had left the message at midnight that day, on Jack's birthday, called the police, and decided to get in a fight with Hannibal and not try to win.
Retarded- Jack goes to the past on order of Lamia and Chase. Turns out Chase has always been horny for Jack.
Spleen- Have you ever played this game? Some of these reactions are mine. Like Turkey-Cheeseburger and Tuberculosis-squirrel. Oh, and he says dragon-crocodile because of Lamia and her yelling 'Glorified crocodile!' every time she hears someone talking about Chase's dragon form.
Salami- Gotta love it!
Chase: WTF is up with Salami?
Lamia: Jack, swear to me Thursday will never happen in real life. SWEAR IT!
Jack: I swear!
Chase: Well, you know the drill.
Lamia: Reviews feed the hobos.
Jack: Flames burn Chase's hair.
Chase: WHAT!
