Chapter 12:
Six months later and Ichigo was still waiting for any hint of Grimmjow reappearing. Nothing had popped up so far, but Ichigo wasn't giving up, he had promised the man he would wait, and wait he would no matter how long. Shiro thought he'd lost it when he confided in him, which wasn't what Ichigo wanted from his twin. He had tried several times to get Shiro to find Grimmjow, he would honour Grimmjow's wish and not look for him, but that didn't mean Shiro couldn't. But he was having none of it, refusing to get involved no matter how much Ichigo tried to persuade him. He had long given up trying with his twin, but was far from giving up on Grimmjow.
"You are hopeless." Shiro told him one afternoon on a drive home from yet another meeting.
Since his return Ichigo had been thrown back into the 'family business' as such. He hadn't had much time to think during the first few months, but that was a good thing, the less time to think, the less time to dwell on Grimmjow. Right now the less he thought about Grimmjow, the better.
It was a strange feeling, something he wasn't accustomed to. To be away from someone he loved so much, to not hear their voice or see their face, it made his chest ache with longing. Ichigo had only experienced this feeling once before, when his mother died and he couldn't see her any longer, never her her voice again to tell him it would be ok.
Only now did he realised it hadn't been ok until the day he met Grimmjow. And now Grimmjow was gone too. Ichigo had sworn to himself at his mother's funeral never to feel that way again and yet here he was, fifteen years later in the exact same predicament. But Grimmjow wasn't dead, it was his fault the man had left and was lucky to have been spared his life. He couldn't give up though, giving up was to admit defeat, Grimmjow would come back someday he knew it.
"I'm optimistic, not hopeless." Ichigo replied finally and Shiro snorted.
"Hopeless." He repeated. "He is not coming back, get over it." This was his latest technique. Shiro had tried being understanding, he'd tried yelling at Ichigo, he'd tried beating him, not that he got very far since they were evenly matched and now he was being an asshole about it.
"Say what you want, but I'm still going to wait." Ichigo shook his head, his lips twitching as Shiro groaned. "I get that you're worried about me. But there's no need to be, I'm not going crazy."
"You're waiting on an asshole who shot you, left you and said he's not coming back. Not to mention he's our enemy. If that ain't crazy then I don't know what is." Ichigo chose not to reply having more than enough experience to know it didn't matter what he said, Shiro wouldn't change his mind. "He shot you Ichigo, do you understand?"
"Yes I'm not stupid. I remember perfectly well what he did and in case you forgot, it was with a tranquilliser, not a bullet. He wasn't trying to hurt me." Ichigo was seriously considering recording his argument to just play on repeat, he had said these lines so many times. It was both a curse and blessing that they both have extreme stubbornness, neither would admit defeat and so this argument had spanned over six months and was still going. "And yes when I see him I will make him pay for that. It doesn't mean he's a bad guy. I doubt he's done any worse than you or me."
"That is not the point! If he can shoot you, he can hit you. If he can hit you he can beat you up and if he can do that, he can kill you." Shiro paused and exhaled loudly, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his already pale knuckles were almost translucent. "I will not stand by and let that happen."
"Grimmjow is not abusive! He's never hurt me and hell in the one who punched him! I can't believe you actually think I'd defend him if he was. You honestly think I would sit by and let him do that to me?" Ichigo asked indignantly, just who did his brother think he was. "I can take care of myself and if he dared raise a hand to me then I sure as hell would show him he couldn't so much as lay a finger on me and leave his sorry ass. I love him Shiro and he loves me, just like you and Gin."
"But it's not me and Gin is it?"
"No it's me and Grimmjow. He will come back I know it." Shiro just shook his head, thankfully not continuing the argument both could probably recite in their sleep. Ichigo was out of the car before Shiro had even turned the engine off when they returned home, keen to avoid further argument with his twin. He didn't enjoy being at odds with Shiro, but he needed to understand that Grimmjow was no more a danger to him than Shiro himself was.
His father thankfully was nowhere to be seen so Ichigo managed to get to his room unhindered. The first thing he did was change out of his suit into tracksuit bottoms and an oversized sweatshirt. He always dressed down at home to annoy Shiro because he hated the attire. Out of habit more than anything else Ichigo looked at his phone. Seeing he had a message he almost dropped it. Since returning home Ichigo had been given a new phone, the only reason who would contact him by this number was Grimmjow.
The number was unfamiliar, but Ichigo knew instinctively it was Grimmjow and opened the text. It was short, only containing an address and a time. Glancing at his watch Ichigo cursed to see the set time had passed a half hour ago, he had long given up carrying his phone around as it provided a very good distraction.
Running from the room he passed Shiro and robbed the keys from him. "I've gotta go ok Shiro, make up an excuse for dad."
"Wait, where are you going?"
He paused, turning to face his twin and grinned. Shiro looked at him in stunned silence which wasn't all that surprising, Ichigo himself could feel how long it had been since he'd really, truly smiled. "Grimmjow text me, I've got to go." Waving the phone Ichigo turned and continued downstairs back to the car. There was no time to explain, he was already late and could only hope Grimmjow was still waiting for him.
He put the address into his phone and followed the directions into town, ending up in front of a corner store coffee shop. Parking the car he went inside and to his disappointment, Grimmjow wasn't there. "Calm down Ichigo, it doesn't mean he's gone, he might not have been yet." He muttered to himself before ordering a coffee and he sat at one of the small tables to wait.
Three hours later and Ichigo was still sat waiting. He had ordered another two coffees since his arrival more to keep his hands busy than anything else but now he really needed the toilet. Spotting the bathroom tucked away at the back of the shop Ichigo quickly went to relive himself. He came back to a shock on returning to find Grimmjow now sat at his table.
As their eyes met Ichigo stilled, frozen to the spot halfway across the shop. He wished he'd changed before coming out looking like he hadn't left the house in a decade. There were so many better options than tracksuit bottoms and oversized sweatshirts. But it was too late to change that and clearing his throat, Ichigo took his seat opposite Grimmjow.
"Hey."
Grimmjow sighed and looked down at the mug he was holding. "Hey." He murmured back and they fell into silence for a while. "You waited then?" He finally asked and Ichigo smiled.
"I wouldn't be sat here if I didn't." He nodded and Ichigo rolled his eyes, Grimmjow was never good at small talk. "Why did you come back?" He asked, reaching across the table to touch him but was surprised when Grimmjow pulled away quickly.
"I came back to tell you to stop waiting. You wouldn't believe a text or a phone call so I had to do it in person." Ichigo raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. It took a lot of effort to keep his face calm whilst inside, his heart was beating far too fast and his hands were starting to feel clammy. "It's over Ichigo and you shouldn't keep waiting for something that's never going to happen. I owe you this."
Another silence, longer than before as Ichigo sorted his thoughts out to form a coherent question. "I thought you said I was the one, that you'd never stop loving me. How can you say it's over when you feel like that?"
Grimmjow was shaking his head and he looked down at his drink again. "I thought that too, but I've met someone else." The words cut through Ichigo like a knife and he inhaled sharply, pulling away from Grimmjow at the words. "She's amazing Ichigo and… she's pregnant with my child."
What he'd said before couldn't even compare to what Ichigo felt at those words. He wanted to scream, to tear this stupid shop apart, to pull his gun out and demand answers from Grimmjow. But he couldn't, he couldn't loose himself to his anger like that. Never again. Only once had he done that, he had chased his mother's killers down and made sure they suffered and begged for their deaths before the end. After that Ichigo swore to never let his anger lead him again, he couldn't loose control now.
"What happened to me being the only person you'd ever love?"
"She happened Ichigo. It's over, accept it."
Grimmjow made to stand and the question left his mouth before he could stop himself. "What's her name?"
He stopped, finally meeting Ichigo's gaze. "Why?"
"Answer the question."
After a long pause he answered. "Sarah."
"How old is she?"
"Twenty eight."
"Where did you meet?"
"At a bar."
"What colour are her eyes?"
"…Brown." Grimmjow whispered and he sunk into his chair, breaking eye contact with Ichigo.
"Is she better than me?" Ichigo asked just as quietly and Grimmjow's head shot up again.
"What?"
"Is she better than me?"
"In what way?"
Ichigo let out a small laugh and shook his head. "In every way. Does she make you laugh, does she make your heart beat so fast and so hard it feels like it will burst from your chest. Is she the first thing you think about it the morning and the last thing you think about at night. Does she satisfy you, more than I ever could? Does she make you feel complete?"
"Why do you even want to know?"
"Is she better than me?" Ichigo repeated for the third time, punctuating each word slowly and clearly.
"Of course not!" Grimmjow snapped and he groaned, holding his head in his hands.
"You're a terrible liar." Ichigo snorted and shook his head. "She doesn't exist, does she?" Grimmjow shook his head too. "I should punch you for that asshole."
He finally looked up at Ichigo again and smiled. "I'd rather you didn't, I've only just recovered from your first punch."
"Good." Ichigo stated cooly and he folded his arms, fixing Grimmjow with a level stare. "What the hell were you trying to pull? Are you trying to make me forget you? Because it sure as hell ain't working. Although I really should after you pulled a stunt like that. What do you take me for?"
"Can't blame a guy for trying." Grimmjow sighed deeply and rubbed his face with a groan.
"Why?"
"You're better off without me."
Ichigo snorted again, he was doing that a lot today. "I will be the judge of what's good and what's bad for me. Why did you really come back? And don't lie again, you're a shit liar."
He chuckled and held out his hand. After a moments hesitation Ichigo placed his own it in. Grimmjow closed his over Ichigo's and brushed his thumb over the top of his hand. "Would you have said yes if I asked?"
Ichigo knew what he was referring to and although it couldn't be true, it felt as if the ring he wore around his neck suddenly gained weight. "Ask me and find out."
Grimmjow just smiled. "Now isn't the time." They lapsed into silence, a more comfortable one this time and Ichigo felt himself relaxing as Grimmjow continued stroking his hand. He would never get used to the man's touches, nor would he ever get used to being without them. "I came back because I didn't get to say goodbye properly last time. Shooting you wasn't exactly a good omen."
Ichigo's eyes narrowed at the mention of it. "If you ever do that again, you will pay for it."
"I don't doubt that for a second. You can be one scary guy when you want to be." Grimmjow murmured, looking down at their hands. He said it in a lighthearted tone, obviously not taking Ichigo's threat to heart. Not that Ichigo blamed him, he doubted he had it in himself to hurt Grimmjow like that. Love was both a curse and blessing, especially when you loved someone such as Grimmjow. But if he deserved it, for instance shooting him again, then yes Ichigo would make him pay.
Ichigo stood and pulled Grimmjow to his feet. "Let's have a proper goodbye then." He said quietly and he led Grimmjow back to his car.
