Chapter twelve

Over the next few days, everyone realised that Harry was getting more upset because someone was always with him. They finally relented and let him have some time alone, but they did check on him frequently. Severus and Minerva were sitting at the staff table talking quietly while they ate lunch. They both gasped as a green light floated towards them.

'Oh my,' Minerva glanced at Snape, 'You know what that means.'

'I'll check Harry,' Severus ran from the great hall and never stopped until he came to Harry's room. He raced in and found Harry sprawled on the floor, he looked dead. Severus put his hand to Harry's chest, then just under his nose, 'He's alive,' Severus called to the footsteps of the people coming into the room, then he moved back to let Poppy close so she could examine him.

'That was the killing curse, and he's alive.'

'How do you know he used the killing curse? There was no one in here with him. We only left him alone because it seemed to make it worse when someone was here?' Kingsley asked as he watched Poppy examined Harry.

'Just before Albus died, he had been working on a charm that would detect the killing curse. He wanted it placed around the castle and grounds. The charm would work on two parts if it was needed. The caster and it also lets the headmaster know by a green mist that someone had used it. He's portrait explained it to me and since we all know Harry's been quiet and depressed, I thought it might be a good idea to use it. I never bothered with the second part of the charm, just the mist that would alert me that it had been used.'

'He's fine, but I'd like to get him up on the bed.'

'I'll get him Poppy,' Severus stepped over to Harry's still naked body, bent down and picked him up. Minerva pulled the covers down and Severus placed him on the bed, then he covered Harry up, 'How did he survive?'

'Do you think it has something to do with surviving it twice already?' Glen asked as he stared down at Harry.

'It's the only thing that makes sense. But then again, those two times have been explained.'

'He's coming around,' Poppy said quietly and everyone waited until they saw Harry's eyes blink and finally open, 'How do you feel Mr. Potter?'

'Oh shit,' Harry blinked again, 'I'm dreaming, figures.'

'I have no idea why you would believe that. Now I'm going to ask you again, tell me how you feel?'

'Am I really awake?'

'You're awake Harry, why would you think you're not?' Kingsley asked.

'Because I can see,' Harry stared directly at everyone that was in his room, then his eyes found Severus', 'I can see and I can see perfectly, without my glasses.'

'Let me check something,' Poppy started to do more charms over Harry, 'The killing curse seemed to reverse the blindness that the other killing curse caused.'

'Will it stay Madame Pomfrey, I won't lose it again, will I?'

'No, they are completely healed. I would say you have better eyesight than anyone.'

'Why did you give up on me?' Severus sneered and everyone heard the abruptness in his voice.

'I didn't give up on you, I gave up on me. Can I have some privacy to get dressed?'

'We'll be in the other room, because we're not finished with you Mr. Potter,' Minerva said stiffly then left the room with the others, all but Severus.

'Don't look at me like that,' Harry threw the covers off, went to his wardrobe, grabbed some jeans and pulled them on before turning to face Severus, 'You know what I was seeing, you wouldn't take those memories away. I was going to do it myself, but I didn't want to forget everything. Then I realised I couldn't live with it, not seeing that all the time. You know, you saw it.'

'Yes I did, but you know what the healer said.'

'He didn't fucking live through that,' Harry yelled, 'So how can he know what he said was right,' Harry felt his face fall and turned his back, 'I was coping before they started, you helped Sev, you don't realise how much you helped. If they didn't surface, I would have been okay, I know it,' Harry turned back, 'You know I'm not a quitter, but I couldn't live with those memories. You should have trusted me and took them away.'

'I do trust you, but I also trust what the healer told me. He said he could take years but you would learn to live with them.'

'I couldn't live with that for years, why do you think I tried to kill myself. So please try and understand. You told me what happened to you as a kid, you have some idea what that's like to live with.'

Severus sighed, then stepped over to Harry, took his hand and placed it against his chest. 'I do understand, but I felt like you gave up on me, on us. You talked me into starting this relationship Harry, something I was reluctant to do. But I took a chance and you gave up on that.'

'I didn't, not on us. You're the only thing that's kept me going this long. I want us to be as we were, but I couldn't, not with those imagines always there. I couldn't think of us, I could only see that. I tried to be with you, I couldn't even kiss you without those imagines coming to me. Please Sev, I would never give up on you. You saw how painful that was, what I went through.'

Severus sighed and pulled Harry into his arms, 'I saw it Harry, it doesn't change how I feel, I felt helpless because nothing I said or did helped you.'

'You can never be helpless Sev. But before I go out and face the others, I need to know something?'

'Alright.'

'What happened,' Harry lowered his head, 'It doesn't change the way you feel about me? We got together before you knew about that.'

Severus finally realised what Harry was worried about, apart from what he was seeing. Harry thought he, Severus wouldn't want him anymore because of what happened. so he lifted Harry's head again, kissed him softly then looked into his eyes.

'No, it doesn't and before you ask, it doesn't disgust me. That was done to you, something you had no control over. You were worried about that, weren't you, that's another reason you tried to kill yourself?'

Harry nodded, 'I'm sorry, can you forgive me Sev?'

'Yes, now that I know everything. But finish dressing, I'm sure the minister and Minerva have a few words they would like to say to you.'

Harry grimaced, 'Do I have to?'

'Stop being a child Harry or there will be no sex if you act like that.'

Harry licked his lips, 'Does that mean we can?'

'We'll see, now dress,' Severus stepped away from Harry and pointed.

'Bossy,' Harry grinned then put his shirt and shoes on, 'You know Sev, we have to get you out of those robes and into some jeans. I've had a good feel of your arse, I'm sure it would look nice filling out a pair of jeans.'

'Don't try it Harry,' Severus took Harry's hand then led him out into the other room where Minerva and Kingsley were both glaring at Harry. Severus instantly put his arm around his partner, wanting to protect him from their anger.