Ulquiorra preferred a black and white world. He liked when things were a simple matter of yes or no, do it or don't do it, etc. He especially liked it when he only had to choose between two sensations, irritated or neutral. Ever since Aizen had taken control over Hueco Mundo, his expectations had been met and everything had been perfect, thus he had no qualms following the man even if he was planning to use the hollows in a war they cared nothing about.
Yet in an instant, everything was warped and things were beginning to change.
The once beautiful black and white were now merging and forming many different shades of gray that were leaving Ulquiorra reeling. He had thought the days when he would make decisions based on his instincts were over ever since he obtained logic and sense but that was unfortunately, not the case. The reasons? A fragile, weak human woman and a boy straddling the borders between hollow, shinigami, and human. Both were twisting everything out of the norm and creating new foreign things Ulquiorra wasn't sure he wanted to accept.
The boy instilled a peculiar fury of a nature he was unused to. He wanted to kill Kurosaki Ichigo but it wasn't because of an order by Aizen or out of survival instincts since his current state certainly posed no threat to Ulquiorra's wellbeing. It was something he simply wanted because for reasons beyond his understanding, he was envious of the boy. Not because of his power and not even for monopolizing his lord's time and thoughts. It was because of the woman known as Inoue Orihime and that was where everything always seemed to lead up to.
She was, to put it simply, a walking oxymoron that pulled him in two different directions. Weak and yet strong, timid but bold, naïve but nevertheless wise; she was all of this and so much more. He loathed her and at the same time, desired her. He both looked down on her as an inferior species and also admired her. She was a piece of trash and the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on.
She had him captivated but she didn't belong to him.
Her heart, her smile, her emotions, everything was given to that ignorant boy and it ignited the rage he thought he had buried deep inside himself after he had obtained power. That insolent whelp had everything he inwardly craved to have and it was both a humiliating and infuriating thing to have continuously shoved into his face. The only thing that kept him from snapping the neck of his 'nemesis' was the order by Aizen to keep both humans unharmed. The hate he felt towards the child was even greater than the spite he felt towards the trash known as Grimmjow Jaggerjacques. It was a bitter feeling like he had never felt before and it was chipping at his formerly impenetrable walls trapping his emotions.
So what compelled him to tell his lord that the boy he so desperately wished to be dead was heading towards trouble in the form of one of the most violent espada?
There was no doubt he hated Kurosaki Ichigo with every fiber of his being, that much had been established. It would have been far more beneficial for him if he had simply let Nnoitra do as he pleased and then take the fall for doing irreversible damage to the boy. It would have been an ideal win-win situation and it would have left a feeling of great satisfaction in him. But he hadn't let things proceed like that and it was frustrating that he didn't know why.
'Perhaps my subconscious recognized that Aizen-sama would be furious if his toy was damaged in any way and that compelled me to take the proper procedures to ensure that such a thing didn't happen…'
As much as he wanted to believe in his thoughts, a nagging tug in his mind insisted that he analyze the situation further. Apparently his subconscious refused to accept the easy way out, thus compelling him to think more deeply. However, no matter how many times he replayed the scene, be it in his mind or through his eye, the puzzle remained unsolved. The pieces were there, they just refused to piece together sufficiently enough to satisfy him.
And so somehow, this all resulted in him heading over to see his charge and the origin of all his problems. Why he thought visiting her would clear everything up, he would never understand but his instincts were telling him that the trip would be more enlightening than if he tried figuring it out on his own.
He became alarmed to a certain extent however, when the detestable silver-haired, right-hand man of his lord stepped out of the woman's room and the reassuring grin he received, at least that's what he believed it was, did nothing to ease his suspicions. The suspicious man had the audacity to wave to him and then to even speak to him despite the number of times Ulquiorra had specifically told him never to talk to him in any way. He even used that ridiculous nickname to address him.
"Hello Ulqui-kun! Are ya visitin' Orihime-chan too?" Not even waiting for a reply, he added, "Good timing! She has somethin' she wants to tell ya too~" That piqued his interest marginally but he was more concerned that the sly fox had messed with the person he had been assigned to watch. Subtly increasing his pace, he passed by the smiling man without a single response and entered the woman's room.
He would never admit that he felt relieved when he saw nothing wrong with her other than the familiar sight of concern in her eyes that he just knew was caused by that reckless boy she cared so much about. Releasing the inconspicuous tension in his body he had unconsciously formed, he silently approached her.
"Woman, what did-"
His words were cut off when the strange woman suddenly jumped up, tripped, and somehow smacked her head on the small cushioned chair in her room all in one flowing movement. He watched impassively and just a bit unsure of how to react as she clutched her forehead in pain. "Ow… Oh Ulquiorra! I'm sorry; I didn't hear you come in." Her usual chirp seemed a touch bit edgy as she leaped to her feet, rubbing the slightly red spot decorating her head.
Deciding not to comment, he was about to repeat his question when she unexpectedly answered it albeit unknowingly and in a peculiar manner. She was still facing him but she had changed her position so that her head was tilted down as if she was embarrassed and her tone had become slightly nervous, like she wasn't entirely sure of what she was about to say. Strangely enough, a bubble of anticipation formed in his chest, just below his hole, almost as if he was expecting her to say something that would be somehow pleasing to him.
"Um, I just heard from Gin-san… Kurosaki-kun was attacked recently by one of the espada wasn't he?"
Oh, she merely wished to talk about the boy again. Ignoring the small twinge that replaced the little bubble that felt oddly like he had been hurt, he feigned disinterest as he silently nodded, confirming her suspicion. He then said, in a rather cold tone, "Such trivial matters mean little to me. I am only here to check up on your welfare and to ensure your relative comfort. Since it seems you are in no need of anything in particular, I will be taking my leave."
He turned and was about to head out, a heavy feeling settled over the area where his heart would have been, when a slim delicate hand grasped his arm. "Wait! That's not the only thing I wanted to say…" He didn't look at her but he also didn't make any signs of moving again so she continued, "Gin-san also said that you helped him." Had Ulquiorra been unrefined, he would have scoffed at the sheer ridiculousness of that comment. Instead, he settled with saying indifferently, "I did no such thing. I simply told Aizen-sama the whereabouts of Kurosaki Ichigo since the boy has a natural talent of getting lost and it would have displeased my lord if he had to waste time to go hunt down the trash."
The hand on his arm tightened a bit. "But you still helped him even if it was inadvertently. No matter what you say, that fact won't change." Annoyed that she insisted on believing that silly notion, he turned and was about to say something harsh when she suddenly lifted her head and formed the second most breath-taking smile with her lips he had ever received.
For once, he was speechless and it wasn't because he deemed the situation unworthy of words. The smile didn't change as she softly but whole-heartedly stated, "Thank you Ulquiorra." He could only stare into her sparkling gray pools as she added, "I know you don't like Kurosaki-kun very much but if you hadn't told someone he was close by a dangerous person, then he might have been hurt very badly."
As she spoke, everything clicked together and he suddenly realized the reason why he had discreetly taken measures to ensure the boy's safety. It most definitely wasn't to protect his fellow hollow from receiving what would have been a very unpleasant punishment. It wasn't even because it would have displeased Aizen if the boy had been defiled in any way. It was just so he could preserve this smile. It was to keep that spark of pure joy from disappearing even if it would never be solely for him. It was for the sole reason of protecting the radiant light that was steadily purifying the darkness in his monochrome world.
The sudden epiphany struck Ulquiorra like a thunderbolt and its effects were a swirling mess of conflicting emotions- pride at having solved the difficult mystery yet disappointment that it had taken so long to figure such a simple thing out. It had also caused something akin to happiness to erupt in him but with it came a feeling of terror.
As much as it pained him to admit to himself, there was no denying that he was terrified of the woman Inoue Orihime. He was scared of the unknowingly powerful hold she had over him. She practically had him dancing on the palm of her hand, his emotions and thoughts being her puppets and she the puppeteer.
It was all so one-sided.
Finally re-establishing the ability to form coherent sentences, Ulquiorra stared down at the beaming woman and then asked, "Why are you thanking me?" She blinked at looked at him confused so he elaborated. "Regardless of whether my actions assisted Kurosaki Ichigo or not, my status as your enemy remains unchanged. Why would a prisoner such as yourself express gratitude towards the one holding you here against your will?"
Orange hair swirled elegantly as the woman turned so her back was now facing him as she said lightly, "You're right Ulquiorra, we are enemies and it is strange that I'm thanking you. I wonder why…" Even with her back to him, he did not miss the sadness that filled her voice as she quietly murmured, "I wonder why things are like this." Moonlight spilled in through her window, illuminating her figure as she turned back to him with serious gray eyes as she asked, "Why… don't I consider you an enemy anymore?"
Staring at the epitome of beauty, Ulquiorra found himself questioning her words.
"You… do not see me as an enemy? I could crush you with a single hand. If my lord wishes it, I could end your pitiful life right now. I could destroy you, physically… emotionally… spiritually… all with a single command. I am the chain that binds you from your freedom, the one who separates you from everything you hold dear. And you still believe I am not an enemy?"
Her own gaze didn't waver. "An enemy isn't always someone you fear or hate Ulquiorra. Defining an enemy is so much more than that." She lowered her lids as she said almost sadly, "An enemy is someone who threatens the things you believe in or in my case, threatens the people I care about. An enemy," her eyes closed and her tone turned a touch bitter, "is someone you feel you are obligated to defeat in order to protect the things you believe regardless of whether you hate them or not. It's just usually easier to consider someone as one if you don't like them."
Emerald green orbs widened just barely a fraction of a millimeter. "You neither fear nor hate me woman?"
Her eyes opened briefly and then closed as she smiled once more only this time, it was a pained smile full of grief and resigned acceptance. "No, I don't. And I don't think you feel any negative things towards me either. And that's why," a single drop of salty clear liquid slipped from her eye and trailed down her cheek, "it hurts to know that one day, we're going to be standing on opposite sides of a field, thinking only of defeating the other side while the memories of peaceful times like this… disappear."
Watery gray pools met his gaze as she said, "I know this. You know this. Ichigo and Aizen-san know this. We all know this but I can't help feel… that we're all fighting a losing battle and that we're all going to be hurt very badly at the end." Ulquiorra didn't respond so she said, "You know, for all the times Ichigo feels trapped by Aizen-san, I think there's something more between them. It's not even a bad thing but I know…"
"No matter what, it has to be stopped. Just like… this thing that's happening between you and me."
Giggling a bit at his stunned silence, she smiled and said, "You're surprised aren't you? Ulquiorra never shows his expressions but the shock is still there. I'm not too surprised, everyone thinks that since I'm a bit of an airhead, I'm also oblivious but I'm not. Understanding others… that's the only thing I'm really good at."
Ulquiorra could feel a pressure building inside him, instigated by two polarizing feelings. One was demanding that he flee, to run away before the woman could say anymore that would undoubtedly hit far too close to home but the other compelled him to stay, to hear what she knew and hopefully end the never-ending questions and confusion that muddled his mind. The "stay" instinct won out and he simply gazed at the woman, silently urging her to continue.
She seemed to receive his message since she smiled, painfully happy and happily pained. "Ulquiorra… you were jealous of Ichigo weren't you? The animosity you directed towards him, it was all because I paid more attention to him wasn't it? Because…"
"Because Ulquiorra really likes me doesn't he?"
Tears were now freely flowing down her soft cheeks as she buried her face in her hands and said brokenly, "You had such a painful secret and even though I knew about it, I still trampled on the feelings you were finally feeling after such a long time of loneliness and apathy. No matter how many times I apologize, I can't ever make up for doing such a horrible and heartless thing." Ulquiorra was about to deny her words and say that she had nothing to apologize for since he really didn't care when she added quietly, "And even worse… I want to try to reciprocate your feelings. I want… to deepen something that should have never begun. I-"
Ulquiorra suddenly found himself standing directly in front of her and for once, he acted before he thought. He wrapped his pale hands around her wrists, silently asking her to look up. When she complied, he spoke in his usual bland tone, "You wish to try something that will only end unhappily, correct?" Miserable gray eyes met his as she nodded as he said, "I am not simply a rebound for you?" Gently, she removed her wrists from his grasp so that she could hold his hands in hers.
"You're not a rebound from Ichigo's rejection. I accepted that he would never return my feelings long ago. I only told him about my feelings for two reasons, to cheer him up and to make sure I didn't regret never telling him. He's an important friend and it would have been horrible of me if I kept such a thing secret from him." Her tears had slowed and then stopped as she said softly, "The feelings I have towards you, they aren't very strong but they are there. Ulquiorra, if you can wait and give these emotions time to grow, then we can have something more sweet, more fulfilling, than what anyone else could ever give to us. In exchange, it will be unbearably short and we may feel pain more hurtful and far more excruciating than any possible torture. Is that okay with you?"
His eyes betrayed no emotion as he replied, "Ever since I brought you here, you have done nothing but pull me in two polarizing directions. One that could prove beneficial to me and one that could destroy me. I loathe how trash like you could do such a thing to a being of my caliber." Her eyes dimmed even further and she made to pull away as she said in a forced light voice, "Then I guess there's nothing else that needs to be said is there?"
Cold, pale hands held hers firmly, preventing her from moving, causing her to blink in confusion. Entwining their fingers together, Ulquiorra said, "I am also pleased by the power you alone possess over me. To engage in something that promises both freedom from longing and solitude and an untimely and tragic end, that is something I would agree to only as long as it was with a strange woman such as you."
The woman stared at him in shock before smiling with more happiness than sadness this time. Holding their clasped hands tightly, she said, "Then this will be our secret and no one else will ever know."
The black and white world, along with many shades of gray, now had a single bright red rose blooming with the color of passionate love and crimson blood, a foreshadowing of the future that lay ahead of them.
A/N: Strangely enough, UlquiHime is probably one of my fave hetero pairings XD I'm looking forward to continue writing about them. And no worries, AizIchi love will begine to fully bloom in a couple more chapters so keep reading~
Along with all the love must come humor so… Deleted Scenes!
The Fall
His words were cut off when the strange woman suddenly jumped up, tripped, and somehow smacked her head on the small cushioned chair in her room all in one flowing movement.
He watched impassively as she continued from there to leap to her feet, slip, fall backwards this time, and land in an undignified sprawled heap on the floor.
Silence.
"Woman, I do not believe the script included the second half of your… mishap." A muffled, "Sorry…" could be heard from the poor, embarrassed soul on the ground.
It's Important to Eat Breakfast
Entwining their fingers together, Ulquiorra said, "I am also pleased by the power you alone possess over me. To engage in something that promises both freedom from longing and solitude and an untimely and tragic end, that is something I would agree to only as long as it was with a strange woman such as you."
A loud gurgle noise echoed in the small pause that followed resulting in one blank faced Ulquiorra and a slightly uneasy Orihime. Trying to lessen the embarrassment, Orihime gently asked, "Um Ulquiorra, are you hungry for some reason?" His face remained stoic as he monotonously stated, "I was running late this morning and I was thus obligated to skip breakfast in order to arrive on time."
As Orihime lectured him about why it was important to eat breakfast no matter what, Ichigo whispered to Aizen, "I thought you were joking when you said Ulquiorra wasn't a morning person! How is he such a perfectionist if he's like that?"
Aizen chuckled before whispering back, "It's just one of the many mysteries that make up Ulquiorra. Let's leave it at that."
