Hey :), sorry for a long time since an update, it feels like forever although I think it is just over a week :).
My mind went blank for a while hence the reason it has literally taken me 5 hours to write only 2,000+ words. Its annoying because it looks like a lot more when you write it using Word :(.
Anyway hope you enjoy :D and please review with any typo mistakes, criticisms or whatever you'd like to say in it :).
So here is chapter 12.
Missing Him
Finn couldn't sleep that night. He spent night sitting in his bed not being able to sleep. He couldn't get the thought out of his head, he really wished he could but he couldn't. He sat there and watched Sam sleep, if you could really call it sleeping. He would toss and turn until his covers were so tightly wrapped around his body Finn worried he may not be able to breathe properly. Not that he'd dare touch try and unwrap him. A normal person would probably have a heart attack if someone was suddenly touching them while they sleep but with Sam he'd probably have a huge fit and crawl into a ball again. It was so frustrating watching him like this.
Finn knew this wasn't good for him but he would never leave Sam. He just hoped they could get through this, he felt they could but the more Finn watched his boy sleep the more he wondered if it was possible. Sam seemed to be getting worse, Finn knew he had nightmares but he'd never spent the entire night watching him while he sleeps. He mumbled a lot, sometimes the words were inco (however you finish that word, Finn's brain hurt and if he was honest with himself he wasn't even sure if he was thinking of the right word anyway) but other times he could make out words, the words that broke Finn's heart and put him back into his mind state of anger and sadness were when Sam would mumble the word stop. It would come out almost pleading.
It really did sicken Finn to think some disgusting man, like the man who had taken all of Sam's stuff, had forced him to do stuff he didn't want to do. Forced him to t-take it like the bitch he is. Stop thinking like that Finn; he couldn't stop battling with his own thought. He needed sleep but it wouldn't come and he just sat there watching him.
It was about 4am when Sam started getting sweaty, he was moving a lot. He almost fell off the bed a few times. Finn wanted to go over and hold him or hold something cold to his forehead to help him cool down or something. It was when Finn saw and heard Sam hitting against the wall his bed was against that he decided he had to do something.
"Sam." He scrambled out of bed and went over to crouch down next to the blonde's. He could see Sam's eyes moving beneath his lids (it was strange to think we did that, Finn never understood why), his breathing was getting heavier and he appeared to be crying.
"Sam, wake up." He wanted to wake him but without being able to touch him Finn couldn't see anyway, he didn't want to shout at him because it'd wake up Mom, Burt and Kurt and he didn't want them worrying too much. It was then that Sam started screaming.
His screams or yells were so loud Finn was sure his parents would definitely be awake. The screams were defining, not always words often just blood curdling screams. When it was words Finn couldn't help but want to cry at what he was sobbing out.
"N-No, I-I do-don't want to. P-Please." He kept saying this over and over quickly followed by a loud yell of what Finn hoped wasn't pain but sounded like it.
He could hear his parents moving in the room next door. He had to wake Sam up, screw it he's shake him. Sure there'd be consequences but fuck it. As Sam's pleasing turned into sobbing desperation and Finn heard his parents' voices as well as Kurt's Finn stood up and shook Sam.
The reaction was immediate, Sam yelled again and shot awake and crawled into the corner of his bed away from Finn.
"Don't touch me, I don't want to. P-Please."
Finn didn't know what to do so he just stood there, did Sam think Finn was going to hurt him? Did he think he would ever do that? His head hurt so much right now. Did Sam think Finn was someone else? Finn really did hope so.
"Finn what is going on?" Burt and Mom were in the door way to his bedroom, he hadn't even realised they'd opened the door. Kurt was standing just behind them staring straight at Sam. He'd forgotten that Kurt knew as well because he was at glee club. Oh god, glee club. What would they all think? Surely they wouldn't turn on Sam. Santana hadn't and he was pretty sure that Blaine and Kurt wouldn't. Mercedes, Rachel and Quinn wouldn't either he didn't believe, he had no idea about Mike but Tina was cool she'd always been supportive before. But what about Lauren and Puck? He'd been friend with Puck since he was little and he knew that he was close to Sam, as was Artie for that matter. Finn hoped to god that this wouldn't affect that friendship but they all now knew he was gay. Fuck. Not to mention they knew what happened to Sam now, if any off them even tried to be horrible to Sam he'd kill them. He would like to think they wouldn't as they are his friends but you never know how people will react right?
"Finn?"
"Oh, urmm…" He turned back to Sam; he was curled up in the corner still. He'd started rocking now, crying into his knees.
"Was he dreaming?" Kurt had pushed past Burt and Mom. He was standing next to Finn now looking at Sam.
"Yeah, he was."
Kurt was nodding his head, "I thought so, I was pretty sure I heard him the other night as well."
The family stood there for what felt like forever, no one moving. Finn presumed it was because no one knew how to react or what to do.
"Look its early, we should all try and go back to sleep." Burt walked forward and looked as if he was going to touch Sam's shoulder.
"Don't touch him dad." Finn was shocked to hear Kurt say that, he hadn't realised other people had started noticing Sam's reactions. He knew Santana had noticed and he's spoken to his Mom about it but he never realised others had noticed as well.
Burt turned to Kurt and he seemed slightly confused. Finn didn't blame him; it took him what felt like forever to get used to not touching Sam. It felt natural to just want to touch him but he couldn't. Burt however seemed to accept it and instead just sat on the edge of the bed.
"Sam." Sam didn't respond at all he just continued sitting there rocking, he was no longer sobbing but was just staring at a spot near the end of the bed. "Sam can you hear me?"
"Honey, maybe Finn should try talking to him."
Burt looked up at Mom, Finn didn't understand how he could get through to Sam any better but Burt seemed to agree with her because he got up and nodded towards Finn.
Finn looked over his shoulder to her, "Why would he listen to me more than any of you?"
"Because he cares about you Finn, you're the one person he is close to. Surely you realise that."
Finn looked back at Sam; he wished he knew it was true. He knew Sam loved him, he knew Sam cared about him. But that was before; did Sam really still feel the same?
"S-Sam." Finn's voice shook slightly, he felt weird talking to Sam in front of his family. The thing that made Finn smile slightly was Sam did respond to his voice. He seemed to have been knocked out of his trance and stopped looking at the distant spot and stopped rocking. He didn't look at any of them but his eyes did flicker towards Finn quickly.
"Sam, its ok." Finn decided it would be easier to sit on the bed; he wasn't sure what to say again. He looked at his Mom who just nodded at him and she slowly left. Kurt and Burt decided to follow her. He hadn't meant for them to leave he just wanted advice on what to say but he guessed this was easier without an audience. As he heard the door shut he turned back to Sam who was actually looking at him.
"F-Finn…" Sam's eyes were teary and tired looking. He looked grey and dishevelled (another word he learnt from Kurt after saying dishovelled), he was still sweating slightly and his hair was in a mess. To be honest Finn thought his hair looked god damn hot but he couldn't think like that right now.
"Sam look it really is ok. It's early ok we can go back to sleep if you want or go down get breakfast, whatever you want."
"Finn don't be so nice to me please. I'm s-sorry…." Sam's voice was all quiet; Finn wasn't sure whether he was trying to whisper so everyone else could sleep or whether he felt small.
"Sam, seriously I am nice to you because I'm your boyfriend ok. I've told Burt and Mom about us, they're fine with it. We're together ok."
Sam just stared at Finn, "H-how much do they know?"
"What?"
"Burt and your Mom?"
"Oh," He realised he'd told them about Sam without even asking Sam if was ok. Finn thought it was right too though, the whole glee club knew why not them? But he didn't want to piss him off.
"They know about me don't they." Sam said it so blunt it shocked Finn, there was no emotion there whatsoever and yet with Sam you could always tell how he was feeling from the way he said stuff, or before you could.
"Yeah, I had to tell them Sam. The glee club all know and they're not living with you, it didn't feel right."
"So when do I have to leave?"
"Sam for god sakes you ARE NOT leaving!" Finn needed to get this into his head, he felt like every time he spoke to Sam he was running into a brick wall. He'd done this in real life and it was painful enough but to do it not real life (he'd learnt the word for that in English but he never paid attention so don't expect him to remember) hurt even more than physical pain.
Sam just stared at Finn. He said nothing and just stared, like he was trying to see if he was lying. Instead of even responding Sam just got under his covers and turned to face the wall. Finn guessed it meant Sam was done talking, so he decided he'd go downstairs. He had work to do anyway and there was no way he was going to fall asleep anyway he'd just drink lots of coffee and hope he doesn't fall asleep in class tomorrow.
Sam lay there in his bed; he could feel the tears falling again. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him; his head was so confusing at the moment. His thoughts were muddled. He knew Carole and Burt were good people and wouldn't throw him out but then again why wouldn't they? They had a good for nothing slut living in their house.
No matter what Finn said Sam knew what he was. He was or is, he likes to think was but maybe he still is, a whore, a slut, nothing but trash. He doesn't deserve Finn; he deserves nothing more than death. Would anyone really miss him? He doubted it, Finn would get over it extremely quickly and then he could be with a person he deserves. Someone who'll treat him right and not someone who takes all his kindness and throws it back in his face like he did then.
Sam wasn't sure how school was going to be tomorrow, he was nervous. People knew now, they'd hate him and want to beat him up for being a skank or something. No more than he deserved he guessed, he'd take what is coming to him. Maybe he'll feel better once he's been punished, that is what he hoped anyway.
So there is chapter 12, update soon I promise :). Please review :D
