A/N: TOTAL APOLOGIES FOR NO UPDATES ON THIS OR THE GUIDE! I HAVE GOOD REASONS! For once. Unfortunately, I'm in the hospital, where I will be for God knows how long. So bear with me, it's hard to write when I'm all hooked up to machines. I hope this chapter is epic enough to make it up to you all. Again, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me.
The Ink Awards
(Part 12)
Authors from all over the fandom sat impatiently awaiting the results. They had all desperately published silly little ficlets in hope to become Best Category Author. A few had potential, but most of them downright sucked. Oh well, they got points for trying.
A few of the Inkheart characters (namely Dustfinger) were being mobbed by authors with notebooks and pens, taking notes about proper characterization and thoughts. Fangirls chattered excitedly, and the Authoress sat in the corner typing furiously on a small laptop with a machine holding medicine and nutrients hooked up to her arm. No one payed her much attention, which suited her just fine.
Taurey waltzed onstage, wielding her trademark clipboard.
"Kay guys, show's cancelled. Can't find any bubble wrap. We have a stituation here. Call in reinforcements. This is a code red. I repeat: code red."
The Authoress scowled from her corner.
"I didn't write that! That's not supposed to be in my story! It's in your pocket! Moron, your supposed to do the Macarena!"
Taurey shot the young author a sympathetic look, "Sorry, love. You no longer control this fic."
The Authoress grumbled something and continued typing. Taurey sighed.
"Anyway, I was just kidding. Show's going ahead as planned."
Several Inkheart members moaned audibly.
"Sorry guys!" Elena chirped, "Just hang in a little longer, okay? We're almost done."
"Then you go home for a week. Then your back!" Ali added.
There was a silence.
"What?"
"But...we're not due back for another year!"
"This is awfull!"
"But...but...the roadtrip, guys! We missed last year's, so Elena figured two this year would make up for it!"
"How--considerate--of--her." Elinor growled through gritted teeth.
"I know, right?" Elena grinned broadly, "I knew you'd love the idea."
There was an awkward silence.
"Ahem. Shall we present the crane, Elena?" Ali asked her co-host. Elena shrugged, pulling one from her pocket. All authors in the room perked up, watching with great interest, hoping their name would be called.
"And the winner is..."
"Pink Pigeon!"
There was a surprised silence, followed by clapping, cheering, and a good amount of curses. The Authoress glanced up from her computer.
"Wait...what?"
"The winner is Pink Pigeon." Elena repeated.
"Hey, that's me!" the Authoress grinned and started muttering things under her breath as she dragged the machine towards the stage. "Ha. It worked. Total guilt factor. Say they can vote for the best author...morons. This was brilliant."
A few people she passes gave her odd looks and nasty gestures, but she ignored them.
Ali passed the Authoress a crane.
"Alright...acceptance speech? Ahem." Pink Pigeon took a deep breath, looking over the crowd dramatically. "Hi."
There was a silence, while they waited for her to continue.
"Er...is that it?" asked Taurey.
"No, course not. Um, thanks for the award, guys. But I think it's only right to inform you all you were brainwashed--in a sense. It was all part of my master plan to, uh, well, uh, y'know."
"Win?"
"Yeah. Win. Anyway, love you all (and keep reviewing!)" She hurried off back to her computer to finish the chapter, so no lovely readers would strangle her for taking far too long to post.
"What an odd girl." Tommy commented from the sidelines.
"Next award is Best Catagory Story. Vote for yourself, a friend, an enemy, someone you don't know, that girl with the creepy machine."
"DON'T INSULT ME! I CAN CONTROL YOU!"
"Vote!" cheered Elena.
