Half-Pay
Supremacy Incident Report #1897
Location: Supreme Leader's Chambers
Classification: Code Yellow
Description: Loss of valuable cargo
Cause: System malfunction
Additional details: Occurred during skirmish on Crait
Subject Name: Mo Phead
Age: 67
Position: Custodian
Status: Unharmed
Summary of incident:
During all the hullabaloo on Crait, I was called down to Snoke's chambers to clean up a mess. I remember not wanting to leave my closet after that darned Resistance ship tore the Supremacy a new one. But when you're close to retirement like I am, you really don't wanna make your bosses angry. So I sucked it up, grabbed my mop and headed up to Snoke's place. But once I got there, things got a bit tricky.
I'd just finished ironing out the old man's robes earlier that day. And now, he was dead. Cut through the midsection and left to rot on the floor. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren told everyone it was that girl from Jakku who killed Snoke. And she didn't go easy on his guards either. Those guards were so stiff and droid-like I couldn't tell if they were actually alive or not. And if they had been, they clearly weren't anymore. For a second, I thought about peaking under their masks to see what the hell they were. But I decided against it and got straight to work.
The girl's lightsaber cauterized all their wounds, so there wasn't much blood to clean up. But moving the bodies was tough, especially for someone my age. The guards were scattered all over the place, and bits of their armor had been chipped off during the struggle. Nearly cut myself trying to pick up all those sharp bits of plastoid. And don't even get me started on the weapons. The whole time, I was scared one of those things was gonna turn on the moment I picked it up.
It almost took me an hour, but I finally got those guards cleaned up. Now there was just Snoke. The whole time I dragged what was left of his body, I wondered how he'd let himself get killed. I rarely saw him in person, but judging from the stories I'd heard, he seemed pretty powerful. I once heard he even used Force lightning on someone. A lot of the stormtroopers thought he was one of those Sith Lords from back during the Clone Wars. I even heard a rumor that he might've been that Muun one; Plagueis. But that'd be ridiculous.
A few more minutes of manual labor later, I had all the bodies piled up in a cart. Protocol states that all personnel are to be cremated upon death. So I started pushing the cart down towards the ship's crematory. But once I reached the escape pods, the weight of the cart caused me to throw out my back. Taking a minute, I sat down on the floor and laid my back against the cart. I was just starting to relax when I felt the cart starting to move. And then, my back hit the floor as it rolled away.
Fighting against the pain, I tried to get back up and stop the cart from going too far. But by the time I'd gotten on my feet, it'd rolled right into one of the escape pods. I mustered every bit of strength I had left and made my way towards the pod. Once I reached it, I went to grab the cart's handle. But then, there was a loud noise. And a bunch of sparks started flying out of the pod's controls. I put up my hands to keep the sparks from hitting my face. And that's when the pod's door closed.
I watched helplessly as the pod full of dead bodies jettisoned out into space without a set destination. With my back still in pain, I limped toward one of the windows to see if it'd gotten far. Luckily, it hit a small chunk of debris from one of the Star Destroyers and stopped dead in its tracks. I breathed a sigh of relief and reached for my comm unit to let security know where the bodies were.
But before I could call them, this big whale-looking creature appeared outta nowhere, grabbed the escape pod with its mouth and then vanished into thin air. I was so shocked by what I'd seen that I dropped the comm unit on the floor as I stood there with my mouth agape.
I did eventually contact security and let them know what happened. Though most of them think I'm either lying or just plain nuts. But I know what I saw, and that Snoke's body is still out there somewhere. Though in terms of where it might be, I gotta be honest.
I don't have half an idea.
