Chapter 12: Attack Of The... Bunny?
Carlisle's Point Of View
Juicy smiled and asked, "Have any of you seen Monty Python And The Holy Grail?"
Edward rolled his eyes and said, "Who hasn't?" Bella looked slightly uncomfortable and raised her hand saying, "Um... I haven't."
There was a collective gasp throughout the room. Bella blushed. Well, she would've. She didn't really... but they got the point.
"Bella! Shame on you!" Emmett yelled. Jasper sighed and looked around sheepishly, then said, "I... um... well, you see... I haven't either..."
Yet another group gasp was heard.
"Well, then this will be more fun than I had originally thought..." Juicy said with a smile. "But first," he continued, "we have to show you that dear old Alice is fine." He quickly disappeared. After a few seconds he was back, holding a flailing Alice by the arm.
"I don't wanna come back!" she screamed, trying to get away from him. He rolled his eyes and said, "Look, just tell them you're fine and you can go back!"
She stopped, turned to the others and calmly said, "I'm fine. Roberto and I were having a great conversation." She turned back to Juicy and said, "Now, if you don't get me back soon, I can see you having some painful falls."
He smiled at her and said, "Anything for you darling..." and they disappeared.
"What was that? Did he just hit on her?!" Jasper asked angrily. "I'll kill him!" he yelled.
"Wait," Emmett said, "if we play this right, you could be the next one out... and you could keep him away from Alice."
"What do you mean? We want out too! Alice can take care of herself!" Rosalie said. Bella nodded, agreeing with her.
"Look, we can just pick who wins each time. It will be over so much quicker. Jasper here should go first, because I'm willing to bet that he won't just happily go along with anything. Like he said, he'll kill him... Heck, I'll join him." Emmett said.
The girls sighed and Bella said, "Fine, but—" She didn't get to finish, as Juicy chose that moment to come back.
He was holding a small box. A look of dread came over everyone's faces as they remembered what the last box had contained.
"So, is everyone ready to begin?" Juicy asked.
"Um... no." Jasper said. He turned to Emmett and whispered, "I just remembered I haven't seen the movie... I don't know what to do!"
"It should be fine... probably. Just go with the flow... don't mess up, because if you prove me wrong, Rose will laugh at me..." Emmett replied.
"So?" Jasper asked.
"Just do it!"
Jasper sighed and said, "Fine, you big baby." He turned to Juicy, who was tapping his foot very quickly in impatience, and bravely said, "We're ready now... Do your worst."
Juicy smiled and said, "I plan to..." He set the box on the ground, opened it, and disappeared quickly.
Bella frowned. "Well, that was creepy. I wonder what's in the box...," she said as she walked forward.
"No Bella! I have to do it, remember?" Jasper said.
She rolled her eyes, but stepped back. Jasper walked slowly towards the box. He stopped when a shuffling sound came from within the box. He stood there for a few moments before a small, white bunny hopped out.
He let out a breath. "That's the challenge? A bunny? Psh... easy," he said as he advanced towards it again.
Edward leaped forward and pulled him back before he could reach the bunny yelling, "No! Jasper, don't you know what that is?"
Jasper rolled his eyes. "No. How many times must I tell you people, I haven't seen the movie! Besides, it's just a bunny." he said angrily.
"It's no ordinary bunny! It's the most foul, cruel, and bad tempered rodent you'll ever set eyes on!" Emmett said.
"Well, really, what could a bunny do? It wasn't even bitten...," Bella said.
"Look, that bunny's got a viscous streak a mile wide! It's a killer!" Emmett told her.
Rosalie rolled her eyes and said, "Emmett, stop quoting the stupid movie!"
He huffed and said, "Fine, but I'm warning you! Right after everyone ignores that dude's advice, they all get killed."
"... Right. Well, that's why it was a movie. Not real life, Emmett," Jasper said.
"Fine, ignore me, see what happens, stupid!" Emmett yelled.
"Guys, break it up," Edward said. "Look at the box the bunny is chewing on. There's a piece of paper on it."
"Hey, you're right! I knew there was a reason I married you!" Bella said happily.
"Um... besides my looks, smarts, and dazzling abilities... right?" he said nervously.
"Um... sure. Anyway, who volunteers to get the paper from the supposed rabid rabbit?" Bella asked.
"I suppose I will...," Jasper said. He looked around at the others and said, "Oh, no, don't stop me from meeting my untimely demise or anything..."
"Jasper. Go. Now," Rosalie ordered.
His shoulders slumped in defeat, he trudged cautiously towards the box.
The bunny stopped chewing on the corner of the box long enough to decide that Jasper wasn't a threat, then went back to chewing.
Jasper tip-toed to the box, bent down slowly, then grabbed it quick and ran as fast as he could back to the others.
"Got it!" he yelled triumphantly.
Emmett laughed. "It's just a bunny!" he mocked. "You weren't afraid were you?"
Jasper glared at him. "No! I was just being cautious."
"Uh huh."
"... Leave me alone. At least I got it instead of standing there like a chicken!"
"Just read it already!" Edward yelled.
"Fine! Impatient much?" Jasper glared. He rolled his eyes and opened the paper. After clearing his throat he said,
"To defeat this malevolent adversary, you must use the Holy Hand Grenade. Without it, there is not much hope…"
"Well, that's just great. Where are we going to get a hand grenade?" Emmett asked.
"Shush, Emmett. There's more," Jasper said. He read,
"Since you are all probably wondering how you will do this without a hand grenade, I will kindly give you a hint. I suggest looking deep, deep inside yourselves."
"You've got to be kidding me," Edward said.
"Hold on, I'm not done…" Jasper said. He continued,
"—specifically inside Rosalie. Possibly Bella, but more Rosalie…"
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?!" Rosalie asked angrily.
Jasper growled and said, "Will you people stop interrupting me?! I want to finish!" He glared at each of them in turn, and when he was sure he wouldn't be interrupted again, he read on…
"If that fails, you could always follow the advice of the Second Note. Which you won't find unless you look deep, deep inside… Rosalie. Sorry, Rosalie darling, it's not you, it's me…
Love, hugs, and coffee mugs,
Juicy J Dawg"
Jasper finished and looked up. "You can speak now… it's done."
"Again, what the heck was that?!" Rosalie yelled. Edward looked at her and said, "Well, it would seem that no matter what, we have to look... inside you."
Emmett growled and stepped in front of her protectively. "No one is going to look anywhere on Rose," he growled.
"Well then, what are we supposed to do?" Bella asked.
"We could try to capture the bunny without any stupid explosives..." Rosalie suggested.
"Hey, wait, Rose!" Edward exclaimed. "I saw something when you were talking... Open your mouth again!"
She glared at him and was about to say something when Bella interrupted with, "Oh, come on Rosalie, it can't hurt to try."
Rosalie sighed and said, "Fine. But no touching." She opened her mouth wide and Emmett looked inside.
He looked for a moment then gasped and said, "How in the world did he get that in there? And without you knowing!"
Rosalie's eyes widened in alarm and she said, "What? Get what in there? What are you talking about?!"
"Now, don't panic sweetheart, but you have a piece of paper... in your throat," Emmett said.
She was silent for a moment before screaming, "What?!"
"Calm down! It's fine, we'll just get it out!" Emmett said.
Jasper drew in a big breath and shouted, "Everyone just calm down!" Immediately everyone in the room had a dopey look on their faces and were so calm they nearly fell over.
"Emmett... go ahead... and get it out... before I come to and kill Jasper..." Rose mumbled.
"'Kay..." Emmett said sleepily. He reached out and... well, you don't need to know the details, all you need to know is that he came out with a piece of paper. He triumphantly held it above his head shouting, "I am the mighty... 'Paper-From-The-Throat-Grabber'!" It would have been more impressive had his words not been so slurred.
Jasper rolled his eyes and took the paper from him and opened it up. He read,
"So you found the second note. Good for you! Now, I would tell you how to find a Holy Hand Grenade, but it would be pointless seeing as the bunny is just... a bunny. That's what you get for watching so many movies. Now, the only thing that remains to be solved is... Who is getting out this time?
Toodles!
Juicy J Dawg"
They were silent for a few moments before Bella yelled, "You've got to be kidding me! We've been wasting all this time, just because Emmett here was afraid of a bunny!"
As they grumbled, Jasper ran over to the bunny and picked it up. "There. I win. Let me out now!" he called out.
Juicy appeared and said, "Congratulations! Now, if you'll just come with me..." He looked over at the four remaining vampires and said in a horrible Terminator impression, "I'll be back."
I turned from the screen and looked at Alice, who was still sitting on the floor in front of Roberto, talking to him.
"Alice, how in the world are you having a conversation with a turtle? You know he can't speak..." I asked.
"He is a tortoise, not a turtle! And he knows sign language. So there," she answered.
"Alice, he's not moving."
"So? I can see it before he does, duh. Sheesh," she said as she rolled her eyes. I was about to say something to her when Juicy appeared with Jasper in tow.
Alice jumped up happily and ran to hug him, than promptly went back to Roberto.
"Well, I've got to go torture them some more... Bye, y'all!" he yelled as he departed.
Um... yeah, I don't really have an excuse for why this is so late... Sorry... But it's another long chapter! ... Yay?
Reviews are much appreciated...
There's a picture of Roberto in my profile... I'm writing his chapter in his point of view. I might do Bunny's, but there may not be a point... He doesn't really do anything...
Peace out,
Mojo
