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BELLA
I couldn't believe how heavy it seemed to weigh that Edward was staying away for another two weeks. Nathan ran happily through the room but he was yelling just too loud.
'CUT IT OUT, NATHAN!' I yelled he looked at me, smiled then just continued.
'FOR GOD SAKE! CAN'T YOU LISTEN FOR ONCE!' I yelled feeling even more frustrated as I grabbed hold of his sweater. He looked at me with sad eyes but I was just too upset to care. I took a deep breath and realised how hypocritical I was being towards Nathan. It wasn't his fault that Edward wasn't coming home on the planned date. But I was over reacting over the whole Edward situation, there was something else bothering me but I just couldn't put a finger on it.
'Ale we gonna eat?' Nathan asked as he sat down next to me. I looked at him though realising not overly kind as he looked away before heading towards the corner with his cars. I shook my head and stood up.
'I'm sorry honey. What would you like to eat?' I asked walking his way. He stood up and smiled widely while heading in my direction.
'Pizza?' he asked cutely as I smiled at him.
'Pizza it is.' I winked as I grabbed our jackets.
We arrived at the pizzeria and Nathan was rambling on and on, though even if I tried to stay focused my mind drifted off often too little things. I saw a worried look on Nathans face and only then did I realized that a tear had escaped from my eye. Nathan stood up and placed his hand on mine. I dried my tears and smiled quickly. I realised I started crying after I heard someone call out the name Renee. They gave us our pizza and I noticed that Nathan was still quiet and looked confused/ worried at me.
I decided to pass by Esme and Carlisle's in the hope to get a little calmer again. However things just seemed to get even worse. Esme gave me a worried glance before making me sit down in the kitchen whilst Carlisle entertained Nathan.
'You seemed tired.' She began as she sat down in front of me.
I shrugged my shoulders and played with my cup of coffee.
'I think it's everything at the moment… I'm nervous about the interview with Enterprise Friday, Edward's staying two weeks longer in Belgium. Nathan's asking for more attention from me lately.' She placed her hand on mine and smiled weakly.
'These extra two weeks will be nothing compared to those two months, honey.'
'Maybe…but six weeks is just too much.' I sighed as she nodded.
'I know I miss him too. And about your interview I'm sure you'll do great.'
'That doesn't mean I'll get the job though.' I replied.
'I think you need some time alone. Why don't you leave Nathan here for the night?' I looked at Nathan who seemed to be having a good time with Carlisle and that made my decision since I haven't been very nice to him today.
Now Nathan was at Esme's and Carlisle's the house seemed even colder. I began to think Esme was wrong when she thought that some time alone would do me good. The walls were just coming in towards me. I sat down on the stairs as the room spun around me. I realized my breathing had become heavier and then I lost it. I couldn't control the crying. I was sad and mad and scared. Now after all these months, after everyone said how well I was coping with Nathan I was more scared than ever to fail. I was sad because I missed mum and dad so much and I was mad because they left me and Nathan alone. I needed some fresh air so I ran outside and took a walk down the street. I couldn't calm myself down and then bumped in too Emmett and Jasper. Before Emmett said a word his wide smile disappeared. He placed a hand softly on my chin so that I would look him in the eye.
'What happened?' he asked as my eyes flinched from him to Jasper, fresh tears rolled down my cheeks as Emmett pulled me against his chest.
'It's alright. It's all going to be fine.' He mumbled.
Emmett and Jasper took me home. While Emmett made me some soup, Jasper pulled a blanket around my shoulders. He sat down in front of me whilst Emmett sat next to me.
'What happened? You and Edward are ok, right?' His panic that, that would be the problem made me smile. I nodded quickly and stared straight ahead.
'Then what's going on?' he asked softly. New tears filled my eyes which made my vision blurry.
'It's just a difficult day.' Was all I managed to get out.
Jasper nodded once and sat down next to me on the other side. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer.
'May I say what I think?' I looked at him and nodded.
'I think you've been tough for way too long. First you did it for Nathan and then all his problems became your biggest concern. While he was struggling with it you met Esme, Carlisle and Edward and they somehow were able to get you through. Now the bad news that Edward has to stay two weeks longer has caused everything to become too much.' I looked at Emmett who looked confused and surprised at Jasper which made me smile again.
'There were also you two and Alice and Rosalie who have helped me through.' I mumbled as the two of them smiled.
"You might be right. But tomorrow will be much better.' I said as Emmett raised an eyebrow.
'You mean… Tomorrow you will be able to hide it again?' he said as I didn't respond.
'Why don't you call Edward and talk to him about this? He would feel so bad if he saw you now and you didn't talk to him about it.' Jasper said. I shook my head quickly.
'I don't want to worry him.'
'It's your choice, but if you keep feeling like this you should talk to him.' Jasper said seriously. I nodded quickly and smiled.
'Thanks, by the way. I don't think I would have felt better without the two of you.' I mumbled as they both hugged me.
'That's what friends are for.' Emmett said.
EDWARD
My choice was easy. I packed my clothes into my bag after I had booked a flight back to Milford. I walked to Caius's room and knocked on his door. He took in the whole scene and shook his head.
'I have to go back.' I said.
'You are needed here, Edward.' He mumbled.
'But I'm needed more in Milford.'
'This is your job, you signed up for this project and I believed in you.'
'I know, and I understand you aren't pleased with this, but I really have to go. Bella isn't doing well at all." I explained
'And I understand that you want to be with her, but I cannot let you go.' I looked furiously at him as he seemed to be annoyed with me.
'I already booked my flight.' He nodded and sighed deeply.
'Well then I guess you should go. And pick up your stuff at the office when you get home.' My mouth fell open by his reply. Was he serious? I said my girlfriend wasn't well and he fires me? I shook my head in disbelieve and just walked away
The flight home was way too long I wanted to know how she looked. Jasper said she hadn't being well for a few days now, that they couldn't see her suffer like that anymore without telling me. I tried everything to remain calm, ilistening to my Ipod, reading a magazine, watching the movie they played. I even tried sleeping… but nothing seemed to help and I still had hours left.
I finally sat on the second plane towards Milford, Just two hours to go. Dad would pick me up and take me straight to Bella's place. They women who sat next to me seemed to ignore the fact that I tried to ignore her and kept talking about the weather and her husband, who passed away three years ago. How she enjoys visiting her son and grandchildren. I was able to force a smile here and there. After fifteen minutes she stopped and another five minutes she sighed deeply and looked at me.
'Did you know that talking about it can only be positive?' I gave her a confused gaze as she shrugged her shoulders.
'I'm just saying… we are stuck on this plane, I can listen.' She said as she made me smile. She was just the grandmother type.
'My girlfriend is dealing with some stuff and she really isn't doing well.' I said as she patted my hand.
'What kind of stuff?'
'Well, she moved to Milford a few months ago after her parents past away. And now she is responsible for her brother who's three. And all this time she's been holding things together only now she's grieving.'
'Finally.' The old lady smiled.
'It's good that she finally allows herself to grieve.' She continued as I could tell she was trying to read my mind.
'It is.' I sighed.
'But…?'
'I don't know how bad she's doing, and what I could do to help her.' I said as she smiled and nodded.
'Being there will help her.' She said as I sighed and looked at her.
'I'm not sure we haven't been dating that long at all. Actually…' I told the woman everything. From the accident, the way she and my parents got along, How Nathan never spoke but slowly came out of his shell, the trip to London, just everything….
'She will be fine, because she has people like you. She will figure out that there are people who will help her through it. She just has to learn to talk. That seems to be her problem.' She said while she patted my hand again.
'Thanks, for listening.' I smiled as the plane finally landed. She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal at all.
'I'm old and we were on a plane, what else do I have to do?' she said. I shook my head and smiled. We walked together to get our bags. I helped her get hers and walked her to her taxi.
Dad wasn't there yet when I landed which really annoyed me, I walked out of the airport and waited by parking.
'The road was blocked.' He said as I climbed into the car. I just nodded and sighed deeply.
'So how is she?' I asked as he smiled and shook his head.
'Good to see you too, son. She isn't doing well. Alice and Rosalie are with her now. Nathan is with us. We think its best, since he is doing better and we are all a bit scared that he might stop talking again.' I just nodded and stared to the road ahead.
'Isn't he too much trouble?' I asked as dad raised his eyebrow.
'No of course not. Why?'
'I don't know. Are you still dropping me at Bella's place?'
'What about your mum?'
'Tell her I'll come by soon, and I'll fill you in.' He smiled and nodded as he stopped at Bella's place.
'Thanks, Dad.'
'Edward?' Rosalie smiled surprised to see me. I smiled back and hugged her quickly as I saw Bella standing up. She seemed to be a fraction of the Bella I used to know. I walked her way and placed my hands on her face.
'What are you doing here?' she whispered.
'Why didn't you call me?' I asked as she looked down whilst she shook her head.
'We…'Rosalie began as she pointed to the door. I nodded and looked at Alice who stood next to her.
'I'll come by soon, say hi to Emmett and Jasper.' I said hugging Alice.
'We will, and it's good to see you.' Alice said.
Bella looked at me with a little smile as I walked back to her. She hugged me tightly whilst releasing a deep breath.
'I missed you so much.' She whispered.
'I missed you too.' I said as I made her face me. Seeing her like this was painful. She had lost weight, looked pale with dark circles under her eyes. Her facial expression seemed empty even though she was happy to see me.
'Why didn't you call me?' I asked again as she look at me this time. She pulled her shoulders up and shook her head.
'I didn't want you to worry for nothing.' She said as I raised my eyebrows.
'This isn't anything Bella.' I said as she rolled her eyes.
'It will be over soon.' She said and tried to turn around as I stopped her.
'Why don't you talk to me?' I asked as she looked seriously at me, she stood more up and crossed her arms over her chest.
'Talk about what Edward? How I feel?' she said madly.
'Yes.'
'Just like Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and your parents are asking. I'm tired of hearing this. Guess what, I don't know what I feel.' She ended in tears. I wanted to hug her again as she pulled away. I stood there helplessly watching the girl I loved cry. I wanted to run to her and tell her everything would be ok. And on the other side I wanted to run away and talk to mum about this because I was totally clueless on what to do next.
'I just….'She took a deep breath while trying to control her tears. She swiped them away with her sleeve and nodded.
'I know I'm sorry.' She said quietly. I shook my head and walked closer to her. This time she didn't push me away. She continued crying and I just held her in my embrace.
We sat down on the couch after I had made her some soup since she was shivering. She looked at me and smiled weakly. Her eyes were still swollen from crying.
'I don't get it.' She suddenly said as I just waited for her to continue.
'I should have been happier. I have you, Nathan is doing better…' I stroke her cheek and looked her in the eyes.
'You've been taking care of Nathan all this time and you see he is doing better and you are able to worry about other things…like your own grief.' She nodded in agreement before she looked at me.
'Do you think this will affect Nathan?' I smiled and shook my head because even after all she is going through she still manages to think about Nathan.
'I think he will be helping you like you helped him.' I said and kissed her.
'I miss him, but I don't know if it would be good for him to be here right now.' I looked around and then back to her.
'Let's try this. First I'll take a shower, then I'll make dinner, and then sleep. Tomorrow we will go fetch Nathan and go to the beach or something, what do you say?'
'That I should take a shower too.' she mumbled. I took her hand and lead her to the bathroom. We stood together in the shower as she placed her head against my chest.
'I'm sorry.' She mumbled again.
'Why?'
'Because this isn't how you're supposed to come home.' I shrugged and kissed her forehead not knowing what to say.
Once we got downstairs I prepared our dinner. Whenever she noticed my starring she forced a little smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.
Bella
I was so happy he was here, and still I wasn't able to smile, unless it was forced. I could tell he was worried about me, just like the others. They were way too kind but they didn't understand. How could they? None of them had lost their parents at the same time and had to take care of their younger brother. They never had to move out from where they grew up because they simply couldn't afford it. If my parents were still alive I'd still be in Phoenix, I'd be working at the office a few streets from us. I would be able to save up for my own future. I would spend weekends with my friends…. Suddenly there was a whole shiver when Edward stood in front of me. He looked me in the eyes and smiled kindly when he gave me my plate. I shook my head and took a deep breath. If I still lived in Phoenix there wouldn't have been Edward.
'What are you thinking?' he asked as he sat beside me. I smiled and shook my head in 'it's no big deal' gesture. I ate a bit and placed my plate on the table. I sat closer to Edward and watched him eat.
'I thought you had to stay longer in Belgium.' I mumbled as he shrugged.
'Let's not talk about that now.' He said placing his plate on the table as well.
'What happened?' I asked as I could tell he wasn't happy I brought it up.
'Nothing.'
'You are a bad liar.' I smiled weakly and searched for his hand. It warmed my whole body by just holding his hand. It made everything easier to deal with just to have him here.
'Well. I'm fired.' He said as I looked surprised at him.
'What? Why?'
'Because I came home.' A feeling of guilt flooded me.
'You shouldn't have….' He stopped me by placing his finger on my lips.
'I had to because I love you. And I wanted to be here in the hope I can make it a slightly better for you. And if Caius wants to fire me for that, then he should. But you are far more important than work.' He said looking me in the eye.
'Even though you haven't known me that long?' I smiled touched by his words. He smiled as well and nodded.
'I have known you long enough to know that I love you a lot.' He said and kissed me.
'I love you too.' I said through the kisses as a tear rolled down my cheek.
He must have felt the tear as he looked at me in concern.
'What's wrong?' he asked worried as I shook my head a smiled.
'Nothing, it was just sweet that you said that.' I said and kissed him again.
By the time I woke up there was breakfast on the table. I looked at Edward who looked up from the paper and winked.
'Good morning.' He said and made a sign to sit down.
'Morning.' I mumbled back.
'We'll collect Nathan after breakfast. My mum will kill me already for not visiting her yesterday.' He smiled as I hadn't really thought about it.
'You didn't pass by yesterday?'
'No, I came straight here.' He said as if it was nothing.
'I'll go and get ready.' I said as I stood up, he stood up as well which made me stop.
'We have time, just eat first.' He said as I sat down and nodded. After eating a sandwich I went upstairs to get ready. Edward stood up as he heard me coming down and held my jacket all ready to slip on.
Esme hugged Edward for at least five minutes while she did her best to control her tears. While Nathan couldn't wait to get hugged by Edward either. He kneeled down to be on his height as Nathan wrapped his arms around his neck.
'You'le back!' he yelled with a pitchy voice.
'Yes, I am little one. How have you been?'
'gooood.' He smiled and then looked at me.
'Sis has been leally sad.' He said quietly as Edward nodded.
'I know, but we are going to make her happy, right? especially you.' Nathan nodded happily.
We sat down at the kitchen table as Esme made some coffee after sending Carlisle for a pie.
'So how was it?' Carlisle asked as Edward nodded, I remembered they didn't know he was fired yet…because of me. I looked at him and he looked at me and back to his dad.
'I got fired.' He said as they looked confused at him.
'He didn't understand why I wanted to come home, so he fired me.' He said as Esme looked at me and then back at Edward. I looked at my plate, too scared to move.
'Are you serious? And you told him everything?' Carlisle asked.
'Yes, as much as I should tell him, and we were almost ready anyway.' He said as Esme shook her head.
'What a selfish fool.' She mumbled.
'Of course, now someone is feeling guilty.' He smiled looking at me. I looked back at him and then at them.
'You shouldn't, some people just don't realize what you've been through.' Carlisle said as Esme nodded. So their son was fired because of me and they are still nice to me. Am I really the only one who sees the problem here?
Edward
Bella's facial expression looked as if she could cry any moment. She didn't react to anything we said. I knew she heard us by the way she sometimes responded. Mum gave me a concerned look as I just smiled at her.
'We should be going.' I said as Bella immediately stood up. She gave a guilty look at my parents and took Nathan's hand.
Mum led us to the door and whispered to come by soon. I could see the concern in her eyes whenever she looked at Bella.
After an hour being home Bella tried her best with Nathan until he went a bit too far, she yelled at him as he froze to the spot. I looked at Bella who seemed surprised by her own reaction and told Nathan to play outside.
I walked her way and kissed her forehead as she sighed deeply.
'I'm sorry.' She whispered.
'You should say that to him, not to me.' I smiled standing before her. I looked at her as her eyes got teary again. She looked back at me and shook her head. I assumed so she wouldn't cry. But the tears flowed down her cheeks. I held her close hoping to comfort her.
Nathan walked in to the scene he stopped and seemed confused to see her cry. After a few seconds he walked our way and wrapped his arms around her leg. Bella however didn't respond, which I found hard on Nathan.
I gave a fake cough and made a sign to Nathan as she dried her eyes and cleared her throat.
'Why aren't you playing outside anymore?' She sounded so different towards Nathan than I remembered. It was as if she did everything to keep him away from her. Probably because she didn't want him to see her this upset.
But that little boy knew well enough that his sister was hurt and why. He looked at me before walking back outside.
'You shouldn't...' I said as she broke me off with the look on her face.
'Cut him out?' she said harshly. I nodded as she looked down.
'He knows better than anyone what you're going through, Bella.'
'No he doesn't...' she mumbled as I stood next to her and just looked at her.
'He didn't have to run to doctors and stuff he didn't have to arrange a funeral by himself...' She said madly.
'Stop it, Bella. If he was your age and you were his, he would take care of you to because at this moment you are going through what he went through a while ago. And you can't blame him for the fact that you had to go through the funeral on your own.' I said trying to remain calm.
'You don't understand!' she yelled.
'Then explain it to me!' I yelled back.
'I can't!' She still yelled as new tears rolled down her cheeks.
'Then don't blame Nathan for the same thing.' I said as I stroke her cheek.
'I don't want him to be sad again.'
'I know.' I said as I hugged her tightly.
