Enjoy.
(Vox)
My fist sinks into the other girl's flesh and the room winces at the noise. I watch, convinced that Rita will make me pay for that, soon. Hawthorne stands to the side, with the other trainers, nodding in approval.
He's barley spoken to me since our talk last week and I've refused to acknowledge how much he hurt my pride.
Rita charges and I duck.
The scene plays through my mind as Rita circles me, smiling like a dog playing with it's toy. Gale's words play back.
"It meant nothing. I was on my way to find Johanna and you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time."
"It did not feel like you were looking for someone else."
"You misinterpreted. I don't feel that way about you."
"My mistakeā¦Cousin."
The kiss had been⦠better than I could ever imagine. But more than that, the kiss was my first since being an Avox. I had agonized for some time, wondering if I'd ever kiss another man, worrying how it would suffer from what I'd lost. But in that moment, kissing Gale, none of the worries had come to mind. It had been so long since I've felt that wanted, that needed.
Despite, being completely overwhelmed, a shimmer of hope had wormed it's way into my heart. Hawthorne meant something to me and until that kiss, I hadn't realized how much I wanted him.
His brush off and harsh words however, had quickly killed that hope. To say I felt like a stupid schoolgirl was overstating it. I was disappointed, mortified, embarrassed and above all, I was pissed, pissed that he made me feel like this, pissed that I'd had hope- no matter how fleeting.
Since that morning, we had taken to train with the other Grinds, something that Gale had been hesitant to do since my sparring was so weak.
Rita ducks down, swinging her legs beneath me. Distracted, I fall to the floor, on top of her. We rool and with anger fueling my moves, I pin her. My forearm presses against her throat. "Tap out," I say.
She bucks beneath me, trying to throw me off. I dig my arm deeper against her neck. "Sumbit."
Rufus, the general trainer barks out a command, "Don't be stupid, Rita. She has you."
Rita taps the mat and numbly, I realize I've won. Blood drips from my nose and my left eye is swollen, but the victory is anything but empty.
I glance toward Gale, who is standing there, frowning at me. Rita sneers, "I'm feeling parched Avox, go get me some water."
Rufus snorts, "Rita. Wise up- Vox's skills are above yours."
I watch Rita's face flare red and worry that winning this match may kill me. He barks another command and I make a move to stand next to the other Grinds. Gale's eyes burn into me from across the room, but I wipe away the blood, choosing to ignore him.
"you are like, my hero right now," Cair whispers and I smile around the blood.
The next week we choose weapons. I try the bow but it is too large and I am too clumsy to shoot straight. Gale looks relieved when I put it back on the table, but he says nothing. Next, I pick up the club, the axe and the knives. I'm convinced I am not brave enough to sink the weapons into flesh, so I place each one back on the table.
Gale hands me another weapon, electrified darts. The darts take practice but after some time, I get the shooting down. They suit me well as they merely incapacitate and can be shot from a distance away. Gale nods as I finally get the aim down, but I ignore his approval and the happiness it causes within me.
The blow catches me while I am asleep. I wake, stunned and dazed, only to be knocked back again. I try to push myself up, only to realize something is holding me down. The room is too black to see anything. I am elbowed in my face and this time pain blooms throughout my body. My nerves light on fire as I struggle to push the weight away. A hand muffles the cuff, drowning out all sound, as my hips buck and my legs kick.
Someone leans down, whispering in my ear. A blade touches the skin on my hand. "Let's see what else we can cut off, hm?"
Rita's voice sends terror through me. The knife splits the skin above my knuckle, then raises to cut across a cheek bone. I will my mouth to make noise, for my voice to return. Nothing comes out except soft exclamations, nothing loud enough to wake anyone in the room. Rita hits me again and this time I'm sure I loose consciousness for a moment. I awake to a blinding pain in my left hand. I scream, but nothing comes out. I push and pull and try to break free. The cutting continues and the pain threatens to make me faint. I fight it, willing myself to survive. Not knowing what else to do. I lean forward and bite down on some piece of flesh. She shrieks, pulling away, I roll over, falling from the bunk. The knife clatters next to me and I grab it just before someone grabs my arms from behind.
"Are you okay?" the whisper calls out and I realize it is Harrison. Pain from my hand nearly blinds me. I start to answer him before I realize again, he is not speaking to me. Through the darkness I hear Rita answer. "You were supposed to hold her, you fool!"
He shakes me, bending my arms behind me tighter. "I was de-wiring her Cuff." He leans donw, whispering to me, "It doesn't work sweetheart." Pain and anger burn inside me. The knife is still gripped in the right hand. The left hand brushes against the front of Harrison and It feels like it may lay in shreds. It burns like I have dipped it in flames. I breathe, fighting to remain conscious, waiting for Rita to come closer.
She does and through the darkness I can hear her smile. "poor Avox" she whispers. "And you actually thought you were better than me."
My hands ache and my blood is dripping down my face. I grip the knife, lifting it toward Harrison. I lean forward, bring the knife up and lean back, putting my weight behind the blow. It sinks into Harrison's gut and I hear him grunt. Stirring from some of the other bunks begin to occur. I ignore them, convinced Rita will kill me if she gets the chance.
"Harrison?" Rita whispers.
I spin, pulling the knife from his stomach and turn to face Rita as Harrison stumbles back in shock.
She comes toward me and I grab her shoulders, holding the knife against her throat. It kisses her skin and when she moves I dig it in deeper. She whines just as a light turns on in the room. I am frantic, bleeding and completely lost when someone stands in front of me.
"HELP ME!" Rita whines
The blade digs into her throat harder and she screams. A girl I don't know stands before me and I'm torn between protecting myself and keeping the blade on the one I hold. "V? What happened!" the girl asks.
A large man takes the scene in with horror eyes, he glances at the body on the floor and then the knife against the girls throat. "Someone get Hawthorne!"
(Gale)
The hall streams by as I run to the Grinds dorms. Jace is leading the way, frantically rattling on something about Vox and he is dead. I am frantic but above all I am scared.
I swing through the doors, taking in the disarray. Each of the beds are empty and light floods the room. The furthest bed's mattress is tipped off of it. Jorr and Tank stand next to a body of a boy. Blood pools around him and my fear grows. Beyond them, Cair stands hands spread apart as if worried to startle someone. That is when I see her. Vox is wild eyed, standing behind Rita, holding a knife to her throat. At first, she is unrecognizable. Blood and bruises line her face. One eye is completely swollen shut. A line of blood colors her cheek with a flap of skin hanging from it. Her left hand, though, is by far the worst. She makes it into a fist and blood is gushing from it. It looks mangled.
Rita looks scared and as Cair turns to me I see worry in her gaze.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. We woke up to fighting."
I look toward Vox and see no recognition in her gaze. I glance at Harrison's body, realizing he is dead and my worry grows.
"Help me, She' crazy!"
"Vox," Her eyes lift toward me but she digs the blade into Rita's throat, blood wells at the tip.
"Put the knife down." She shakes her head, frantically. I'm sure she doesn't recognize me.
"She attacked me!" I ignore Rita.
"Vox, it's Gale. Come back. You're safe."
Her head tilts and I'm worried she wont come back from this. The blood lining the knife and clinging to her fingers tells me she's stabbed the other Grind.
"Come back to me Vox."
A shudder works its way through her as the knife drops and she pushes Rita forward. The girl makes a startled sound and runs toward the boy's body.
Vox slumps to the floor as I walk toward her. The knife falls and I stash it in my belt.
"Harrison!" Rita cries.
"Quiet. Cair, go get Ryder and Banks. Tank, put a sheet over Harrison and Jorr don't let Rita leave. I'm taking her to medical, I'll be back"
I lift Vox, and smooth down bits of her white flyaway hair. Blood clings to some of the strands and my anger grows.
She's shuddering and I realize I'm muttering things to her. "you'll be okay. I know you didn't mean to. You're fine, little bird. Stop shaking, I'm here."
She hides her head in my neck and I make it to the infirmary just before she passes out.
Surgery on Vox's hand and face takes hours. The doctors come back saying that one finger couldn't be salvaged. It had been cut cleanly through and then broken at the bone. Her face was stitched and was drained for fear of loosing her eye. I speak to Banks and Rita they jumped Vox. My anger for her nearly makes me strangle her. I return to Vox before I do something I regret.
When Ryder visits, I am seething and stewing in self-pity.
He stand silently next to me, staring down at a sleeping Vox. "She's stronger than we thought."
I scowl. "She shouldn't have had to be."
"You couldn't have prevented this."
"I put her in the class. I set her against Rita."
"Just as you should have. It's part of training, Gale. Your feelings shouldn't have affected that"
"It was my feelings that put her in the group spar! I knew it was a bad idea, but because I was too weak to spend three hours alone with her I stuck her in there with a bunch of kids ready to kill each other."
Ryder sighs deeply. "she's not your girlfriend, she's your Grind. She's meant to be trained."
"No," I turn toward my friend in anger, "she's meant to be married, like a pawn. Nothing has changed."
Ryder glances around nervously, "Carful, friend. That sounds dangerously close to treason."
And in the silence of the infirmary, I say the words I decided the moment I saw her wild eyes tonight.
"I wont let her go. I'm not letting them marry her off."
Ryder looks confused for a moment but then frowns sadly toward me. "She's not Katniss, Gale."
"No," I glance toward her on the bed, stitches lining her cheek, white hair messed across her face. "She's not."
Ryder frowns but after a moment he looks sheepish. "I was the one to break into Banks' office."
"what?"
He shrugs, "I wanted to know who she was," he nods toward Vox, "make sure she wasn't sent to get to you."
"And?"
"You need to ask her about her father, Gale. If you're serious ask her."
The topic hadn't come up much, I admit. She had always been unwilling to share that part of herself, of course the curiosity would sometimes linger. Ryder looks like he wants to say more.
"What it is?"
"Ask about her dad and." He pauses, "ask her about Finnick."
The name surprises me as does the jealousy coursing through my stomach. "Odair?"
The last few chapters need some glossing but oh, well. I will get to them.
