-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
"And it's true, I can't go on without you - your smile makes me see clearer - if you could only see in the mirror what I see." --Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade
"Light-kun."
He shifted slightly, then opened his eyes, giving up the pretense of sleep. He hadn't wanted to sleep, as he knew exactly what sort of dreams awaited him. And, simply, he couldn't fall asleep, as whenever he began to drift off, he would suddenly jerk awake, startled by some fleeting memory of the night's events.
"Good morning," he greeted darkly. "Waking me up so that I can pack?" He didn't mind that his tone was edged with a bitter question, or that undeniable venom bubbled over in the last word.
"Hmm. That too," Ryuzaki admitted, hovering curiously at the foot of his bed. "Mainly, though, I was wondering how it is that Light-kun got covered in scratches while he was supposedly asleep."
"Maybe I sleepwalk," he supplied with an uncommitted shrug.
"Light-kun," Ryuzaki demanded.
He gave a heavy sigh, dropping his gaze to stare at the floor. Why was it that he'd never noticed how clean the floor was before? Especially considering the fact that Ryuzaki was always munching of crumbly sweets of some sort or another… He was going to miss this floor.
"I went outside and fell in a thorn bush." There. That was as truthful as he could possibly be without telling the whole story.
There was a long pause, then, "What on earth possessed Light-kun to break curfew for the sole purpose of falling in a thorn bush?"
"I was depressed okay?" he snapped, sitting up furiously. "So I went for a walk, and fell into the goddamned thorn bush!"
"Light-kun does not know the meaning of the word 'depressed'."
"I think I do, actually."
"And what was Light-kun depressed about?"
"You're making me leave, aren't you?!"
"Seventy-two percent. I think it might be best if you pack your things immediately."
"Fine," he growled, getting to his feet. Immediately, a wave of exhaustion crashed over him, but he ignored it.
"Hang on - you don't have the authority to make me move out. This is just as much my room as it is yours!"
"Ah, but Light-kun, I have seniority."
"I don't care! What if I refuse?"
"Eighty-one percent."
Unfortunately for him, it seemed that lack of sleep had severely impairing Light's judgment, as the next thing he knew, he was sprawled out on the floor, arms wrapped around Ryuzaki's legs, actually begging to be allowed to stay.
Oh, how mightily thou hast fallen.
"Light-kun! Let go of me!"
"No! Please, Ryuzaki, I swear I'll never cuddle you again! Please, you've got to let me--"
There was a heavy thud as Ryuzaki overbalanced and was sent tumbling to the floor, struggling furiously against the grip Light still held on him. Twisting and squirming, he somehow managed to make it to the door, dragged himself to his feet, and, upon turning the doorknob, they both sprawled painfully out into the hallway, Ryuzaki still protesting, Light still begging.
"Light-kun! Get off of me!"
"Ryuzaki, please--"
He broke off, suddenly acutely aware of a watchful silence in the hallway…
As one, they froze, and slowly looked up.
A small group had assembled in the hallway, watching the struggle. Expressions ranged every from shocked, to amused, to disgusted, to annoyed.
Light had heard the saying "any attention is good attention". At the moment, however, he couldn't agree less.
"Awe, dude," chuckled a voice from the crowd. "That's what's up."
This earned a nervous laugh from the rest of the congregation, which began to slowly disperse.
"You can thank me later," Matt dismissed as he approached. Light glanced up, noting that the gamer was closely followed by a dark shape that could very well have been a shadow had it not moved independently. His heart sank - Beyond Birthday.
"Hmm," Ryuzaki agreed, shoving Light away and getting to his feet. "Thank you, Matt-kun."
"Yeah, yeah." He waved a hand, then looked away. Matt had never been down-right cruel to Ryuzaki, but he clearly didn't like him, either. "How's life treating you, Light?"
He shrugged. "Oh, you know… Beautiful… complicated… unpleasant…"
"That's what's up," Matt agreed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cigarette before seeming to remember that he was indoors and replacing it. "Listen - oh, hang on, I haven't even introduced you yet… Light, Ryuzaki, this is B."
Beyond Birthday nodded, offering Light a friendly handshake with a slight smile that did not reach his eyes. That smile quickly turned to a frown as he noted the thick gloves Light was wearing. "Nice to meet you."
"Yeah," Light agreed darkly - when Ryuzaki shot him a warning glance at this unfriendly greeting, he sighed and elaborated, "So, what exactly is your gift?"
"I…" As he dropped his hand away, B made it a point of not-so-subtly brushing his fingers across Light's wrist, and as he did so, a look of bewilderment suddenly crossed his pale face. He blinked, tilting his head to the side in confusion he squinted at something hovering above Light's head. Light followed his gaze, slightly alarmed, but saw nothing. "…can see the name and lifespan of everyone I touch."
"Well, isn't that convenient," Light muttered, gesturing at Ryuzaki.
"Yes," Ryuzaki agreed blandly. "Please do not touch me, Beyond. Everyone I touch dies of a heart attack within forty seconds. It's most troublesome."
"Hmm." B nodded, still looking at something that Light could not see. After a moment, he gave a small, twisted smile. "Would you like to know when you will die, Yagami-san? It's surprisingly soon. "
Light flinched. B's use of his last name confirmed that his talent was real…
Surprisingly soon?
Then again, maybe he was lying. It wasn't as though there were anyway to know for certain…
"I think I'll pass," Light finally decided, straightening up. "Let it be a surprise."
"Have it your way," B shrugged. "Perhaps that's a good idea… often, people cause their deaths by trying to prevent them… knowing too much might be dangerous…"
"Ahem," Matt interrupted loudly, breaking the tension. "Yeah. So. Anyway. B was supposed to be my new roommate. Problem is, we don't like each other. Like, at all." B nodded again, slightly more enthusiastically this time. "As you can see, that's about the only thing we agree on… Then I thought, 'Hey, maybe he can stay with those dudes'." He gestured vaguely to Light and Ryuzaki to indicated that they were the said 'dudes'. "So. You up for it?"
Light scoffed. "Not really."
"If I remember correctly," Ryuzaki deadpanned, "Light-kun was just moving out. So, technically, this is not his jurisdiction."
"I'm not leaving!"
"To the contrary, I believe that you are. You can stay with Matt."
"Oh, sweet, roommate exchange!" Matt chimed in, raising his hand to Light for a high-five. "That's what's up!"
Light ignored him. "No! Ryuzaki--"
"Eighty-eighty percent."
"Fine! Just quit with the percents!" He gestured at Beyond Birthday. "But you can't seriously be considering having him stay with you instead. You don't even know the guy. He could be like… a mass murderer or something."
Beyond snickered. Light shot him a glare.
"I seem to recall that at first, I did not know Light-kun either."
"That's different!"
"How so, Light-kun?"
"…Forget it." He cleared his throat awkwardly, turning to look at Matt. "But… doesn't that mean… aren't Mello and Near your roommates…?"
"Huh? Oh… No, thankfully." He scowled, and did not elaborate.
Thank God for small mercies.
"I suppose that I shall finish packing for Light-kun," Ryuzaki muttered, eyes on the ceiling as he turned and disappeared back into their room-- no, his room…
"So, B," Light began in an awkward attempt to break the silence, "how'd you find out about your… death's eyes thing?"
B looked at him briefly, before going back to contemplating whatever he was seeing floating above Light's head. "Funny story. I always knew the name thing. The rest just looked like a jumble of numbers… until, when I… er… when someone died… and the numbers hit zero… Well, I put two and two together." He gave a dry laugh, and for some reason Light was suddenly reminded of a small snake - small, but nonetheless lethal. "It was wicked awesome."
"Death isn't entirely something I would call awesome, B."
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." He met Light's eyes again, smirking. "Such as… The graveyard. It's always cold, no matter what, and you can smell death in the air. I find it sickeningly beautiful."
"Holy-carrot-cake-on-a-kitten," Matt breathed, edging away from B, as if he too had caught the suddenly fiendish look in those black eyes… eyes which almost flashed with a sort of reddish glint for a moment, like some sort poisonous insect…
Oh, no way in hell was this guy going to get along with Ryuzaki…
At that moment, said roommate reappeared in the doorway, holding out a hastily packed suitcase to Light. "Here."
"Thanks," Light replied sarcastically.
They stared at each other.
"This is goodbye, then," Light muttered, suddenly regretting his irritability. If he could take back all those wasted moments he'd spent smarting off to Ryuzaki…
"You're forgetting something, Light-kun," he replied in measured tones, holding up a hand. "You won't be needing those gloves any longer."
"Oh. Right." Well, that would be a relief. Not having to wear gloves everywhere…
He quickly tugged them off, and handed them to Ryuzaki… who in turn passed them along to B. "Just to be safe."
Somehow, that made the arrangement seem all the more final.
"Right. Cool. Let's go," Matt suggested, walking off without a backward glance. Sighing heavily, Light turned to follow him.
"Goodbye, Light-kun."
"Yeah." His voice choked, and though he regretted how moody he was sounding, he couldn't bring himself to elaborate.
Instead, he focused on staring at the floor, until he could take it no longer and shot a look back at B… who stood eying Ryuzaki, obviously longing to touch him.
Back off, buddy.
…Did I just think that?
Whoa.
"I think B and Ryuzaki are going to get along well," Matt commented cheerfully. "I mean, they're both creepy… Not to offend you or anything… but seriously, they're like, made for each other."
"You think?" Light growled under his breath.
Huh. Yeah, regular match made in heaven there… I'll give it two days, tops…
"Hey, how'd you get all scratched up like that?" Matt asked suddenly, as if having just noticed.
"Thorn bush," was the automatic reply.
"That sucks."
"Yeah. Yeah, it does."
It was true - the room did reflect its occupant. While Ryuzaki's bedroom had been as unadorned as the clothes he wore, Matt's was in a state of chaos. The walls were absolutely covered in posters of various movies, bands, and sayings. Across the floor, newspapers, empty cigarette packages, and crumpled paper was littered here and there. On a small, round table near the open window, somewhat used napkins obscured the actual tabletop, and a half-eaten piece of chocolate cake was precariously placed on the edge.
'Half-eaten cake' was never in Ryuzaki's vocabulary…
"Home sweet home," Matt announced, immediately sinking down onto the edge of his worn mattress and snatching hold of a video game. "Okay. Zombie Attack 3. Let's do this."
Light stared at him for a moment, before turning to examine his own bed. Empty video game boxes and discarded instructions lay strewn across it, topped off with about a dozen candy wrappers. In short, it looked as though someone had detonated a nuclear bomb in the center of the room, and then forgotten to send in a clean-up crew afterwards.
No wonder the arrangement hadn't worked out with B…
He gave a heavy sigh, set down his suitcase, and sat next to Matt, who didn't so much as look up, as he was completely absorbed in killing hordes of zombies.
"How many levels are there?"
"Fifty. Right now, this is like… a piece of cake. Oh, shit, one snuck up on me… there we go… Damn things. Pardon my French, by the way."
Another zombie bit the dust.
"What's the plot?" Light tried again.
"Okay, so there's this mad scientist, right? And he's got some sort of solution that resurrects the dead. Only problem, it turns 'em into zombies. So what you have to do, as the hero, is break into his lab and defeat him. It's a fifty story building, and you've got to get past his zombie slaves on each floor. Fairly simple, actually."
Light held out a hand. "May I try?"
"Yeah, go for it." With a shrug, he handed over the control piece.
"Hang on, how do I shoot them?"
"Center button."
"And how do I run?"
"Top button… WAIT! Don't press them both at the same time!"
GAME OVER.
They both stared at the screen as a small, animated image of a mad scientist appeared, laughing at them, and the game started to reboot.
"Whoa…" Matt commented.
Light frowned. "Did my little guy just die?"
"Yeah, weird… That was just the training level. I didn't even know you could die here…"
"…Oh."
"I've never seen the guy trip and fall before, either," Matt pondered, scratching the back of his neck in confusion.
Light handed the control back, hanging his head heavily. "I can't even defeat some crazy guy with the power to resurrect the dead."
Not that Kira could necessarily be equated with a mad scientist, but the general concept was the same.
Obviously, the mad scientist in this game believed he was doing the right thing. Bringing the dead back to life could be a gift - but it was hollow, zombie-like, and much more of a curse. Kira believed that he was bringing justice to the world. And he'd offered to help Light - but… the question tormenting him, nagging at the back of his mind was, simply: would benefits outweigh the cost in this case?
"It's cool," Matt reassured, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with a snap of his fingers. "There's always next time."
Light shot him a side-long glance, then went back to studying the stains on the carpet. "What if there isn't?"
"Huh? Of course there is. There's always a next time. That's the beauty of it. No matter how bad you fuck up the first time around, there's always a next time."
Well, no chance of deep philosophical conversations here…
"Shame that life isn't like that, huh?" Matt continued. "That'd be what's up, if it was. Bet Mello would have to redo last summer… that was an epic fail." He chuckled, then suddenly sobered. "Ah. Mello…"
"What?"
"Mello's… totally screwed up or something. He's like…" He gestured at the video game, which now displayed the leering face of a zombie, "like one of them. All quiet. Just sort of drifts through his day, like he's not really there or something."
Light raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like Mello at all."
"I know, right? It's like somebody cloned him, and the fake is a really bad actor." A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. "It's sort of giving me the creeps. We had a huge fight yesterday, too. You know how we always initiate the new kids?"
"I believe I know that better than anyone," Light muttered.
"Eh? Well, not anyone. We locked Teru Mikami in there on a Wednesday one time by accident. Haha, that was funny. Found in there on Sunday and he started screaming and threatening to kill us in Klingon. At least, I think it was Klingon. Might've been Xindian. You never know." He waved a hand. "Anyway, that's not the point. Well, you see, I suggested that we initiate that Beyond Birthday kid - which in itself it weird enough, 'cause Mello's usually the one to suggest stuff like that - and he said, and I quote 'maybe some other time'. Does that sound like Mello to you?"
Light shook his head. "Just because he didn't want to initiate one creepy kid doesn't mean he's been cloned, Matt."
"Yeah, well, that was just the final straw, ya know? He's been acting totally out of it for, like, a month now. But anyway, yesterday, I called him on it, and yelled at him a little, then he threatened me and stormed off - well, it was more of a trudge, actually. Haven't spoken to him since, and I don't really want to…"
A month…
A distant, faint memory tugged at his thoughts.
"Speaking of Mello…"
"Well," Matt began slowly when Light had finished recounting the incident, "that's pretty damn weird. Especially the blood part…"
"Yeah," Light agreed. "Definitely something going on there."
"Hmm… Perhaps more conclusive evidence…"
"What more do you need? He was randomly covered in blood that was most likely not his own, and then you notice him starting to act bizarre right around the same time? I think that's the most evidence we're getting."
"No… I mean…" Matt half-heartedly killed off another zombie slave, frowning, and cast a sideways glance at Light. "We need to find out if this sort of thing has happened before."
"Why do we need to do that?"
"Because if there's some sort of devil worship crap going on, then the same thing must have happened some time in the past. That's how it always goes." Hr shrugged, as though this should have been obvious.
"In movies, maybe! Listen, Matt, I don't see how we'd find out even if something did happen in the past I mean--" He broke off suddenly at the look that had fallen across Matt's face. "Oh no. Why do I sense the phrase 'I have a brilliant plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?"
"I didn't understand a single word you just said, but I just had a great idea."
"Matt!"
"What?"
"You're humming the Mission Impossible theme again. Quit it."
"Sorry… You know what, this is like, one of those locks that it's impossible to pick." He sighed, fidgeting with a paperclip and straightening it out again. "I say we kick the door down. That'd be what's up."
"Matt." Light ran a hand over his face, taking three deep breaths before continuing, "The point of this is that we don't get caught. Breaking the door down would increase the likelihood of getting caught!" Likelihood. Great, now he was even thinking like Ryuzaki…
"Yeah, well, I'm getting frustrated with this damn lock! It's never so difficult in the games…"
Light rolled his eyes, and turned away, instead self-electing himself the look-out. However, seeing as this hallway was only used by teachers, who were currently preoccupied with teaching class, it seemed to be a pointless precaution. Light knew full well that he was going to be in trouble for skipping Chemistry, but that sort of added to the thrill.
Yes, they were entirely alone as they scrambled desperately to pick the 'impossible lock' - alone until a tall, ghostly figure drifted through the wall, shooting them curious glances.
Light lifted a hand to give the ghost a cheerful wave and a smile.
"What? You can see me?" it barked immediately, already huge round eyes widening ever further.
"Yeah."
"What?" Matt asked, looking up briefly.
"Dead person."
"Oh. Right. That's creepy."
"Odd. Most people just… sort of ignore me," the ghost sighed, approaching them. "What are you two doing?"
"We're just… Actually… you've been around here a long time, right? Have you seen any sort of weird, occult-looking rituals that involve a lot of blood?"
"Light, this is bizarre," Matt pointed out, looking around as if hoping to see whatever his new roommate was talking to. "Really bizarre. I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were completely mental."
Light ignored him, instead waiting for the ghost's answer
"I'm not entirely on your side, you know. So why should I tell you?" he replied after a moment.
"I don't know… because you want to be helpful?" Light frowned - most dead people were typically well-mannered, pleasantly surprised just to have someone to talk to. This guy…
"Ha, no," he replied, shaking his head and beginning to walk off. "Nice try."
"Well, you're entirely useless," Light shot darkly.
"Hey!" Matt straightened up. "I'm doing the best I can! You want to be the one to pick the lock? Go ahead, be my guest!"
"Not you!"
"Oh."
Another five minutes, however, confirmed that it really was in an impossible-to-pick-lock. Light still adamantly refused to allow Matt to kick down the door, and, for the time being, they were forced to leave it be.
Then, more for the sake of avoiding the teachers who would likely have noticed their mysterious absence, they both made the apathetic agreement not to go to the dining room for lunch. Rather, Matt spent the afternoon teaching Light the finer points of Zombie Attack 3, and by the time dinner rolled around, he was able to get out of the training level - in fact, he almost got past the second level before 'the little guy' suddenly dropped dead.
"Hang on - what just happened? That zombie didn't even bite off my head. It just crashed into me. Why did I die?"
"Your stamina got depleted. Don't worry, at least you're improving…"
"You have to worry about stamina, too?"
"Well, duh."
Light yawned hugely, not bothering to point out how completely ridiculous it was to assume that he knew that sort of thing. He consoled himself with the fact that if he hadn't been so tired, he probably would have mastered the game already…
Yes, even in real life, zombies and evil powers weren't the only things you needed to worry about… stamina was important, too.
Another yawn.
Yep, that was important.
"Tired?" Matt asked as the game began to restart.
Light fought back to urge to say something bitingly sarcastic. "Just a little hungry," he lied.
"Well, eat something," was the practical word of advice.
"Yeah, but what's the excuse for skipping all day if one of the teachers corners me?"
"Say that… I'm trying to quit smoking, so I made you stay with me all day so you could… er… help?"
"Please, Matt, not even I buy that one."
The gamer shrugged, smirking playfully. "You're on your own then. Hey, bring me back something to eat."
"Why don't you get it yourself? How am I supposed to know what you even want to eat?"
"Hmm, you know, something good. Surprise me."
Light glared. Perhaps he'd gotten used to Ryuzaki's detailed instructions when it came to food ("A larger slice of cheesecake. With cherry flavoring. Not so much cherry as to be overpowering, and not so little that it doesn't off-set the taste of the cheesecake, bearing in mind that the slightest mistake either way, and it's ruined."… To which Light had sulkily replied, "Oh, whatever shall we feed the duchess?"), but this vague order of "something good" was rather annoying.
He gave up on arguing, however, and walked off before loosing his temper completely. Ah. This was going to be a tricky arrangement.
He found Ryuzaki and B sitting together at the end of one of the tables.
This wasn't surprising to find, but…
It was somehow painful…
"Hey," he greeted glumly, sitting opposite them and making it a point of directing his attention at only Ryuzaki.
"Where were you all day, Light-kun? We did not see you or Matt in class today."
"Er… well…" He was drawing a blank, and finally decided to go along with Matt's excuse. "Matt has decided that he wants to quit smoking… and I had to stay with him because of… withdrawals?"
"Hmm, really? …You do realize that you probably should have stayed with him all day then, rather than joining us down here for dinner?"
Well. That was surprisingly easy…
"I think he'll be fine alone for a few minutes…"
"Obviously, you have never experienced an addiction before."
"…It's fine…"
"Well, do whatever it takes to help him," B put in. "Drugs, straightjackets, electroshock…"
Light firmly decided to ignore that.
"So… did I miss any huge assignments today?"
"Nothing you can't go and ask about yourself," Ryuzaki replied calmly. "I'm not going to promote any further rule-breaking to Light-kun by making it easier on him… no matter how honorable his intentions."
"Good to know I can count on you."
B sighed impatiently. Light shot him a dark glance, noting with a sharp jolt of horror that the new student was still staring at some point over Light's head with an expression that was not quite sadness or interest, but something of a mix between the two… As if he were…
Watching a countdown.
Light shivered, and abruptly changed the subject. "So, why is it that so many of these 'gifts' rely on touch anyway?" he chuckled nervously.
"Actually, Ryuzaki and I have done some research into that very question," B supplied brightly, his gaze unmoving. "Apparently, only the most… 'powerful' of gifts really work without actual physical contact. Such as yours." He blinked. "Wonder why that is… It does seem, however, that Ryuzaki's gift is designed deliberately to block out other, similar gifts, such as mine. Like a poisonous toad's defense mechanism - a sort of look, don't touch thing. Odd. This suggest that there may be a genetic strain which triggers such gifts, as the odds of one such as Ryuzaki's appearing at random are very low…"
Light missed about half of this spiel, as the very first sentence sent his imagination into overdrive. Research? They're reaching stuff together? They've barely known each other for eight hours! That's ridiculous. Ryuzaki isn't that friendly. No way… no way… Hang on - Ryuzaki NEVER researched anything with me… Could it be that he likes B better?
"Light-kun looks distracted," Ryuzaki pointed out, leaning forward slightly, as if analyzing him. "It doesn't seem likely that he is having a difficult time following this conversation, but…"
"It's fine," he growled.
He hates me. That's the only logical explanation. He never even said that we were friends. He was probably just tolerating me that whole time. Yes, and now B comes along, and they're suddenly the best of friends. C'mon, what's so special about this guy? We don't even know anything about him. Where did he come from? How'd he get sent here? He could be one of those weirdoes who goes around poking people with pins for all we know…
"Light-kun… There is only a two percent chance that you're telling the truth with that statement." He chewed his thumbnail pensively, eying the ceiling. "Perhaps Light-kun's crankiness can be attributed to the fact that he is obviously sleep deprived."
Sleep deprived? Gee, you think? This is all your fault. You and your double-chocolate-whatever-the-cookies. Ha. Speaking of cookies, what was all that crap about not liking baked goods? You obviously like B. Oh, yeah, B's good-looking, isn't he? Good-looking in that sort of sickly, dragged-back-from-the grave, never-seen-the-light-of-day way that you're SO attracted to…
"It's fine, Ryuzaki. Yeah, I haven't slept in a while, but…" He momentarily forgot what he was talking about, and finished lamely a few seconds later, "Yeah, I'm fine."
Yes, everything is as it should be. You're happy, and I'm one of the popular kids now. So everyone gets what they want…
And, suddenly, grim realization hit. He was going to have to take Kira's deal.
So they didn't exactly see eye-to-eye when it came to the morals regarding killing criminals. So he was going to have to dig up some centuries-old evil. Whatever. He could do that.
What he couldn't do, was continue with this torment. It couldn't have hurt more if some insane doctor had dripped acid into an open vein - all that he cared about at the moment was getting this to just stop. One thing after another - if not one hopeless dilemma, then the next…
"Hello, Light," a new voice interrupted.
He turned slowly, recognizing that voice and absolutely dreading it. "Near."
"Where's Matt?"
"…In his room?" Light suggested darkly. Near, of all people, wasn't going to by some crap about Matt trying to quit smoking.
"Why did he skip class today?"
Damn it.
"He has his reasons…" Light muttered evasively. How was he going to get Matt's excuse past someone who actually knew him?
"Light says that he's trying to quit smoking," B put in cheerfully.
Light cringed, and made a mental note to teach B a small lesson about discretion later.
"Did you kill him?" Near asked immediately, though his tone remained just as flat as ever.
"Why would you think that?"
"Because that's obviously an excuse. If you killed him, it's fine, you know."
"No, Near, I haven't killed Matt."
"What's going on, then? Is he sick? Does he have cancer?"
"Near, why would you--"
Near suddenly seized hold of the front of Light's shirt, shaking him. "Tell me. Is Matt alright?"
Light looked at him curiously, amazed that Near would actually instigate physical contact of any sort. "Yeah, he's… hang on, you're not concerned, are you?"
"Of course I am. Matt is my best friend."
"…You don't look concerned."
"What?"
"…Never mind." He cleared his throat, looking down and studying the wood patterning of the table rather than meeting anyone's eyes. "In all truthfulness, he spent most of the day teaching me to play Zombie Attack 3."
"Light-kun," Ryuzaki warned. "You skipped class to play a video game?"
"Playing Zombie Attack 3," Near mused. "Not… doing something else?"
Light shrugged helplessly, unsure which question to answer first.
"That's… alright, then. But… Matt never even let me touch his video games…"
"Yeah, well, he's sort of protective of them… I guess it's a personal thing…"
"Thank you, Light," Near muttered, walking off without another word.
"That kid has issues," commented B, as soon as he was out of hearing distance.
And that made Ryuzaki actually smile.
Light firmly decided then and there - he hated B.
"Hey," Matt greeted, not looking up from his video game as Light walked in. "What'd you bring me?"
"Huh? Oh. Nothing. I forgot."
"You forgoooooot…?" Matt whined. "C'mon, I'm dying here."
Light couldn't muster up much sympathy for this problem. In fact, the two bites of an apple that he'd had suddenly seemed like two bites too many, though he hadn't eaten anything in quite some time now. "Sorry," he answered dully, slouching into the bathroom.
"Dude, you okay?"
"Fine."
He wasn't fine. He felt… miserable.
"You sure?"
Unable to respond aloud, Light only shook his head, though Matt couldn't see this gesture.
He pressed a hand to cold glass of the bathroom mirror, staring back at his reflection.
"I would hope that humanity is not so corrupt that it cannot see beyond appearances."
…True, Light had frequently been praised regarding his appearances. But what if that didn't matter to Ryuzaki; what if it was personality that really did matter to him?
Then… did B have a good personality?
"And what do you see when you look at me, Ryuzaki?"
"I see a kid who really needs to study for his calculus exam."
He gave a heavy sigh, turning away and rejoining Matt in the main room.
"…Light? You look a little pale."
"Turns out that I'm tired after all."
Matt gestured to the box-covered bed. "Go to sleep, then. You can clean it off - I don't need that junk anyway."
Light did just this, then apathetically flopped down, half-on, half-off the mattress.
After a moment, Matt's voice broke the silence again. "Hey," he muttered gently. "You've been here all day. You still haven't unpacked."
No. To unpack would be… to accept it.
Instead, with a shrug, he leaned over and began going through his suitcase, searching for something to sleep in. He was hardly paying attention, until his hand brushed some sort of soft, thin cloth that was oddly unfamiliar. Frowning slightly, he clenched his fingers upon it and drew it out, a surprised breath catching in his throat upon seeing what he was holding.
A plain white t-shirt.
One of Ryuzaki's.
How this had ended up in his suitcase, Light couldn't quite imagine. Ryuzaki never left clothes lying about, so the odds that it was a mistake seemed rather slim. But…
Without a second thought, he pulled off his own shirt, and instead tugged this one on. The cloth was soft and cool against his skin, and smelled sweetly of something vague and distant.
Ryuzaki…
Light drew in a ragged breath and buried his face against the soft fabric, his heartbeat quickening as he greedily drank in that delicious scent, as one would drink water after a long thirst.
Something hot and wet slide down his cheeks. With a shaky hand he reached up and brushed it off, and stared down at his hand as he realized what it was.
Tears.
He was crying.
Light couldn't even remember the last time he cried, except for the fact that it was quite a while ago. The idea shocked him, and for a moment all he could do was stare down at his hand in confusion, unsure of whether to laugh or cry harder.
Eventually, the second option prevailed.
He didn't sleep.
As exhausted as he was, he couldn't still the buzzing, hazy thoughts swimming through his mind long enough to relax. Kira, Mello, B, Ryuzaki…
Eventually, dawn made a sluggish appearance, feathering bleakly through the open window.
Ryuzaki never left the window open. It was as if he was afraid that some thin ray of sunlight might fall across his skin and burn him or something.
Also, Ryuzaki did not snore.
Sniffling, still trying to smudge away the all-prevailing tears, Light dragged himself out of bed, and reluctantly changed his clothes, removing Ryuzaki's t-shirt last and setting it neatly to the side. He vaguely registered that his normal hygiene routine, which involved showering and actually combing his hair had been entirely disregarded, but couldn't very much bring himself to care.
He sighed. Though he was loathe to do so, he knew that he needed to return Ryuzaki's shirt before it's absence was noted.
Hmm. Maybe that could pass an excuse to see how badly B had screwed things up…
He had to consciously remind himself to knock before entering. There was no reply, but neither was the door locked, and Light cautiously pushed it open. "Ryuzaki…? B…?"
No one.
He wasn't sure whether to be put out that he had missed the opportunity to see Ryuzaki, or glad that he did not have to see the new happy pair…
Huh. Jealously. Strange thing…
Sighing and fighting back another sudden, unwarranted outburst of tears, he crossed to Ryuzaki's bed, and gently set down the t-shirt, which he had folded with meticulous care. And that would have been the end of it, and he may have been allowed to escape with a tad bit of dignity, but…
His foot brushed something.
Looking down, his gaze settled upon a disheveled pile of papers, just barely visibly from beneath Ryuzaki's bed…
Frowning slightly, he knelt to examine them.
Light Yagami Sleep Pattern: Day Unknown
…Oh crap.
1:09 - Light-kun begins making odd sounds. Distinctly catch the phrase "No, Dad, everything's fine!"
1:10 - Light-kun has subsided into silence again.
1:45 - Movement! We have movement!
1:46 - It's over.
2:33 - Definite activity. Making very strange sounds, complete with tossing and turning. Wonder if he's okay.
2:34 - Hear my name thrown out there. Hmm. Wonder what's going on.
2:35 - I think he's mad at me. Has begun actually screaming my name. Repeatedly. It's quite frightening, actually. And… rather interesting… very interesting… though perhaps that is not the right adjective to describe it…
2:37 - Light-kun suddenly jerks awake. I am currently pretending to be asleep.
2:38 - All clear. Light-kun mutters something about "double chocolate sugar cookies" before resuming sleep. And I thought he didn't like them. Liar.
Light flinched. Damn. The worst possible time to have his sleeping activities documented.
He couldn't quite muster enough enthusiasm to be angry, however.
Flipping through the next few pages revealed nothing but a few unlabeled percentages, and complicated math formulas. At one point, there was a small drawing that may have been a line, or a deformed circle with feathers-- oh. An arrow. Well, no one had ever accused Ryuzaki of being a grand artist…
The last page, tucked away as if in hopes that it would never see the light of day, was something different, though…
It was titled:
9/24. Dear Diary…
…No. Freaking. Way. Ryuzaki kept a diary?
Glancing around to make sure that he was indeed alone, Light read on.
There is much that I would like to relate to you down, perhaps as a record, or perhaps as a confession, but I dare not, for fear that someone may read it. Paper can be read. Minds cannot. As long as I say nothing, reveal nothing, I am safe.
The bells are loud today. Sickeningly so. They make it difficult to think, which is why I am writing some of my thoughts down… it's difficult to stay organized otherwise.
I wonder if I should tell Light-kun about the bells. Maybe he can hear them too.
Then, perhaps I should not hope for that. I know that hearing things that supposedly aren't there is a sign of madness. I've been told again and again that's it's not a good thing. But I do not feel insane. Even though they are ill-omened, I am glad that to be able to hear them. The only constant thing I have, really. I would never say that I love the bells. No. Everything that I love, I destroy. It's much safer not to love the bells…
Or Light-kun, for that matter.
After that, an ink splotch, then nothing more.
Light stared at this last sentence, then, blinking, reread it. Maybe sleep deprivation had caused him to read that wrong. Or interpret it wrong…
No… there is was, plain as day…
This is a dream. That's what happened. I finally passed out, and this is a dream…
"Light-kun?"
He jumped, startled, whipping around to find that Ryuzaki was standing in the doorway.
"What are you doing?"
He quickly slid the papers out of view again. "I was just… Actually…" Perhaps lack of sleep was severely impairing his judgment now, but a plan was sluggishly beginning to take form, "I think I might've left a few of my clothes in the bathroom by accident. Would you mind going to check?"
Ryuzaki nodded slowly, hands in his pockets as he slouched into the bathroom. "Of course, Light-kun… I simply wish--"
Light slammed the door shut, and propped a chair against the knob.
"Light-kun?" The door knob rattled. "Light-kun, please let me out of the bathroom."
"No, no, I really don't think that's the best idea," he called back airily, going to the room's main door and locking it. "After all, why would I go through all the trouble of locking you in there if I was just going to let you out five seconds later? It simply doesn't seem logical, does it?"
"Let me out of here, Light-kun," Ryuaki growled. "I do not appreciate being locked in the bathroom."
"Really? Sorry. But you'll have to do something for me first."
"This isn't funny."
"First off," Light continued, ignoring this protest. "Did you put your shirt in my suitcase?"
"Light-kun, that is absurd."
"I notice that you didn't express confusion as to what I was talking about. Interesting. I'll take that into consideration. Second question - why did you tell me that you don't like baked goods? Is it that you really don't, or that you just don't want to encourage my attraction to you?"
"You admit it?" Ryuzaki shot immediately.
"It's my turn to ask the questions."
No reply.
"You could always just stay locked in the bathroom, you know. We've got hours and hours. And I happen to know for a fact that you can't go very long without eating one of those sugary snacks that you love so much - some times cookies, sometimes marshmallows, pretending on how deeply you're thinking about a problem. I don't know, can you go through sugar withdrawals, Ryuzaki?" he shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."
"Light-kun, I get it, you noticed that I don't always eat the same snacks. Now, would you please let me out of here?"
"True, I have noticed," Light admitted. "But you still don't get it. And your avoidance to the question once again simply answers it for you." He was pacing, a smile, unbidden, on his face. "Right. Next question. Have you noticed how truly beautiful you are?"
"Light-kun!"
"Not so easy to get me to shut up when you can't stare me down, is it? Now. Back to my question. Have you looked in the mirror lately? I mean, seriously."
"Light-kun, please stop this." Ryuzaki had softened his tone considerably, as if desperate. "I understand what you are trying to do, and it is completely unnecessary. I don't need to feel good about my appearance, of all things. And if you're just trying to point out that I have a great personality or something--"
"Nope," Light cut in. "You don't understand. You do have a wonderful personality, but it's really more than that. It's how you somehow pull off that just-rolled-out-of-bed hairstyle, even though you obviously comb it everyday. Do you know how I know that? Sometimes your hair is parted to the left - if you're in a quiet mood - or to the right, if you're obsessing over some sort of philosophical question that you can't wait to ask me. You see? I did notice. I have common sense after all. Ha."
There was a long, heavy sigh. "Alright, so you noticed that sometimes I look different, too. That doesn't change the fact that--"
Light interrupted gently, "Okay, okay, let me talk. I'm not finished yet. You don't get it, no, not just yet. It might help if you were to look in that mirror while I talk. You know, that's what your eyes remind me of - mirrors. You try to hide it with that expressionless facade, but really, your eyes absolutely shine. I think I'm the only person who's noticed that, including yourself. That's sort of a fun thought. That I'm the only one… Alright, I'm getting sidetracked. You still looking into that mirror?"
"…Light-kun…"
"Good. Now…" He yawned, then continued, "I already told you what I think of your personality. You asked me one time, I remember. Right after you said that didn't care about your looks. Well, I believe you, but now I'm telling you how you look, huh? Funny little twist there. Hmm. I'd like you to take a moment to appreciate how pale and soft looking your skin is. You know mountain lilies? Never cared for those flowers, no, not until I met you. That's what your complexion reminds me of. Not to get too poetic, of course, I'm just stating a fact. Also, why don't you examine your hair - how it's all silky and soft. I know that you wish it wasn't because that would make you less noticeable, but that's another one of those things you just can't really help. Then… Just think for a moment about how weird it is that you're still so thin. You're always eating, and I've never once seen you exercise. You have any idea why that is?"
"It you use your brain, you won't get fat," came a muffled, slightly broken reply.
"That's your reasoning? Doesn't seem very logical. Then again, you're always preaching logic to me, but then you go and contradict your own logic. Confusing as hell - I've come to accept that some of the best things in the world aren't logical." He smiled slightly to himself, leaning his head gently against the door, and continuing in a more matter-of-fact tone, "Alright, those are about the only constant traits that make you beautiful. There's other ones, like how you smile or laugh, how you get that dreamy, far away expression on your face when you're figuring out some sort of percentage, or how you look when you're asleep, but you can't replicate that right now. Too bad." A smirk made itself present at the silence that followed. "You seeing it yet?"
Another long stretch of silence.
"I know you're probably getting sick of being locked in the bathroom. Sorry about that. Well, regardless, I think it's best that I ask this next question to your face." He set the chair aside and pushed the door open. Ryuzaki, his head tilted curiously to the side, his hands in his pockets, was gazing at the mirror blankly, completely still, save for his soft breathing. Then, slowly, as if time itself had drawn to a crawl, he turned to look at Light. "Yes?"
"Do you love me?"
"Light." He'd dropped the honorary. "I think that it is best if we forget this conversation ever took place."
"I would try to forget my own name for your sake, if I knew that somehow it would bring you happiness," Light answered, his voice choked and ragged. "But I will forget nothing unless you can look into my eyes, and tell me that you do not love me in the way that I love you."
They stared at each other.
"Light. I do not."
At those words, Light's heart stopped upon a beat, only to resume at a furious pace as he tried in vain to deny what he had just heard.
He could not suppress a bitter, tearfully disbelieving smile. "Liar," he choked out, agonized, and clutching desperately at that thought. "Liar."
"Perhaps it would be the best if we discontinued our friendship," Ryuzaki went on, looking at the ceiling. "Because… any kindness from me would be…"
"Torture."
A slow, miserable nod. "Goodbye, Light-kun," he muttered, voice timid and broken now, his head hanging heavily as he brushed past, and slipped out the door.
"Kira?"
"Yes, Light?" There was definite satisfaction in the simple question… almost as if the creature already knew that he had won without having to hear Light's next words…
"I'll do anything you ask."
-
-
-
-
-
