Sunday April 29 - Night - Cloudy

For the most part, once they'd gotten to the river, the two had just sat in silence, lying in the grass, watching the stars and listening to the water babble around. Yu could almost hear each breath Yosuke took, and could see his friend's chest rising and falling with each sigh. What can I say to him? Yu had no idea how he was going to broach this topic with Yosuke. He didn't want to say something now and risk the entire trip being awkward...but if he waited until the end, he'd probably either chicken out and not say anything, or it'd almost be worse to drop that on Yosuke and then vanish on the train. Just leave his friend to deal with the falling out after finding out that your best friend actually has a crush on you and that's a little awkward because he's a dude and so are you and then what? Just expecting everything to work out while they were miles away from each other? That seemed almost cruel.

Of course, there is another alternative that you don't seem to want to consider.

It was true, of course. And it wasn't that he didn't want to consider it, but more...he didn't want to get his hopes up.

Because what if he actually...likes me back?

Even if it wasn't easy, if it was awkward, if Yosuke ran himself around in circles for hours about it, there was still a distant chance that he'd turn to Yu and say "well partner, I...I don't know about that, but...I mean...maybe we can just play it by ear?" That would be better than a denial. That would be better than seeing his face crumple into something from Kanji's Shadow's bathhouse. Yu wasn't sure he was strong enough to watch Yosuke look at him that way...and know it was because Yu had told him his feelings.

Whatever those feelings were. God, how was he going to say anything when he didn't even know what to say? He'd never really needed to confess to anyone before. Chie and he had figured it out on their own-and really, she'd started that more than him-and Naoto and he had never much said a word about feelings if they could avoid it. It wasn't something he'd needed to think about. And certainly...there hadn't been anyone who made him as nervous as Yosuke.

Yu turned his head, looking over at his friend as Yosuke's eyes tracked something in the night sky. He looks so calm. So...happy. Was it because Yu came home? That was a pretty arrogant assumption. But...Yu also remembered what Yosuke had looked like when he'd shown up in the city. How easy everything had felt then. How natural the smiles felt, after the days of forcing them for his parents...for his school...

Yosuke noticed him looking and glanced back. "What's up, partner?"

Yu snapped back to the present. "Nothing. Just thinking about when you came to visit me."

Yosuke grinned. "That was a fun trip, man. I wish I could have stayed longer."

"I wish you could have too." Yu let a beat of silence pass. "I wish I didn't have to go back."

Yosuke blew out a sigh. "Yeah, me too, partner. I mean, I guess I kinda understand what your parents are on about? But at the same time, it's not gonna do anyone any good if you're just miserable and moping. Not...not saying that you are, but...you know what I mean," he stammered out.

Yu chuckled. "Yeah, I know what you mean. And trust me, there's been more than enough misery and moping that I can't take offense."

"Exactly. And I know how hard it is to try and pretend school matters at all when you don't want to be where you are." Yosuke's voice had gotten softer, and he looked back up at the sky. "I spent so long trying anything I could to get out of here. I wanted back in the city, I wanted the excitement and the bustle and everything. I was bored. I mean, not like I really wanted a weird god interfering with our world and murdering people to make it more interesting, but...it got me a good group of friends, and that's really what made the difference."

It was a thought that had occurred to Yu more than once. The fact that Inaba could be as boring as anything else...but that it was his friends that had made everything worthwhile. Maybe, if only someone had reached out... "I wonder what would have been different if someone had tried to talk to Adachi."

Yosuke scowled. "He was an ass from start to finish. I don't think talking to him would have helped."

"I don't mean when we really knew him," Yu clarified. "I tried more than once to talk to him, try and be friendly...both before and after I knew what was happening, really. But he showed up to Inaba bitter, and Izanami just took advantage of that. From what I remember...there never really was anyone there for him, at any point in the matter. What do you think you would have done if you'd never met me? Hadn't ever become better friends with everyone else? Hadn't faced your Shadow or anything like that?"

"I wouldn't have gone around killing people," he grumbled.

"Yosuke, I'm being serious."

"I know." He huffed out a sigh. "I don't know, really. I mean, if I'd been faced with something like that...and I'd been all alone? Pushed aside, treated badly...yeah, maybe I would have done something stupid. But you said it yourself. You tried to reach out to him, and he wouldn't listen. But when you showed up and you tried to be my friend, I reacted to that. I learned to appreciate what there was in Inaba, and not focus on what it didn't have. Adachi never managed to do that."

"I just wonder what might have happened if he'd had someone step into his life earlier." Yu looked up at the sky as well, focusing on the stars. "Maybe he'll change once he's out of prison."

"If he ever gets out of prison," Yosuke responded. "I don't even want to know. If I never see that jerk again, it'll be too soon."

Another beat of silence passed between the two, and Yosuke broke the silence again. "What...what do you think you're gonna do after high school? I mean, I kinda assume you're doing the whole college thing, but..."

Yu nodded. "Whatever I do, I'm making sure I can come back closer to here. I know my parents want me to get into Kyoto or something, but I don't care about the name. I care that it's a good program, and that it's close to home. My real home."

"Man. Did you ever think you'd call this place that?" Yu could hear the grin on Yosuke's lips. "When you first showed up and didn't know anyone or anything...did you ever think this would feel like home?"

"No." That was a simple answer. For as much as he loved Inaba now, that wasn't how he'd seen it at first at all. It was nice to be away from his parents, but... "I'm glad it is, though."

"Me too, partner."

The pauses were killing him. Just say something. But he couldn't. What if it goes badly? No, I can't say anything now. I have to wait. I'll tell him before I leave. I want to make sure I get as much time with him...before everything gets awkward.

He must have zoned out for longer than he realized, because when Yu came back around, Yosuke was sitting up and staring at him. Yu blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"

Yosuke laughed. "I asked if you'd fallen asleep over there. I'm not sure if I was right or not."

"No, just...just thinking." He coughed. "Preoccupied, I guess. Sorry, Yosuke."

"Nah man, it's okay. You've got a lot to think about. I may be greedy, but I suppose I don't need you to pay attention to me all the time."

If only you knew, Yosuke... Instead, Yu just smiled. "Should I cut back on my Yosuke shrine then? I was planning on making it bigger, but..."

Yosuke choked, and Yu had to laugh. "Dude!" Yosuke shook his head, still smiling, much to Yu's relief. "You have the weirdest sense of humor, I swear." His smile softened. "Honestly though, I'm really happy you ended up coming here, just in general. I don't know how I would have gotten through last year without you."

Yu felt a twinge in his chest and he swallowed. "There's no telling how much of what happened last year would have still happened if I hadn't been there. Maybe you would have been in my place. Who knows. But even so...I'm glad I came as well. I couldn't ask for a better best friend."

"Same here, partner. Same here."

Yu sat up to match Yosuke. "Do you want to go anywhere else? I mean, I don't really care where I am, so long as it's here in Inaba."

"Well, I figure it's too late to tell anyone else you're here, so you're stuck with me for the night."

"Oh no. Whatever will I do. How could you."

Yosuke cracked up. "Uh huh, sure. But I mean, we can stay here or we can go back to my place and just chill...I don't really care. We've got all week. I mean, I know everyone's going to want a piece of you, and I don't blame them." He grinned. "So I guess I have to enjoy tonight while it lasts."

Yu couldn't respond to that. Nothing he thought of was even close to anything he'd want to say. At least...not right now. "I'm sure we'll all spend time together," was finally what Yu came up with. "Just like old times, except maybe we don't always have to be at Junes."

Yosuke groaned. "Please, anywhere but Junes. I'm there too much working as it is, and it's only going to get worse once I graduate. Did I tell you Dad's trying to make me a manager?"

"No, you didn't. That's a good thing though, Yosuke! I think you'd be an excellent manager. You always did well when we were in the TV world, helping me manage everyone and get everyone in and out safely."

Yu thought he could see a trace of a blush across Yosuke's cheeks at that. "Well thanks, partner. I'm not so sure about it myself, but I'm not expecting to get much of a choice." He shrugged. "Whatever. It'll all do whatever it's gonna do, and I'll figure it out as I go. It's not like I have a better idea of what to do with my life after high school."

"You really haven't thought about it?" Yu looked over at him. "You don't have any ideas?"

"Eh." Yosuke shrugged again. "I don't really think I have too many skills that would be useful in the rest of the world. I mean, you've been talking about doing like counselor work, and that'd be perfect for you, but I wouldn't do well at that at all. Naoto's gonna be a detective, Kanji's got the shop and his knitting or whatever... Chie wants to be a cop, Yukiko's got the Inn...everyone's got something except for me. I don't even know what I'd want to do. I mean, I like music, but I'm not really a musician. The store is fine, but I don't really want to be there for the rest of my life. I don't know, partner. I'm at a loss."

"Well, you've still got a little time. At least you have the store to fall back on for now."

Yosuke nodded. "Yeah, that's true." He leaned back on his hands. "So what do you think? Stay at the river, or go back home?"

"Mmmm." Yu leaned back again. "I get the feeling that if we stay here, I'm going to fall asleep on the grass and you're going to have to figure out how to get both of us and both of our bikes home on your own."

"Who says I wouldn't just leave you?" Yu glared over at Yosuke, and just got a grin in response. "Okay, home it is then. We'll just watch a movie or something dumb. And I promise I won't laugh at you if you fall asleep on me."

"It's been a long day," Yu allowed. "I'll call my uncle and tell him I'll be at your house for the night then."

"Oh, do you want to just crash at Dojima's then? I know my parents won't care."

"Are you sure? I can call him." Yosuke shrugged and Yu flipped open his phone to call his uncle.

"Dojima household," Nanako greeted him.

"Hey Nanako, is your dad around? I've got a question for him."

"Sure!" She ran off with the phone.

Dojima's voice came back a moment later. "Hey there Yu. What is it?"

"Do you mind if Yosuke came and crashed with us for the night?"

Dojima chuckled. "No, I don't mind. Your friends are always welcome over here, as long as I know they're coming. I doubt we could round up enough extra futons for all of them at once, but they're always welcome. Bring him over."

"Thanks so much, Uncle." Yu hung up and nodded to Yosuke. "Yeah, he doesn't mind. Do you want to head back to your house and get some stuff? Or do you want to just meet me back at my place?"

"It'll only take a second, if you want to tag along." Yu nodded and the two rode back to Yosuke's house, let Yosuke get his stuff and double check with his parents, and then they headed back to the Dojima house. After chatting with Dojima and Nanako for a little, the two vanished up into Yu's room and watched television until Yu couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. Getting ready for bed, while Yosuke was getting changed, Yu set up the extra futon and tried not to let his mind wander. It's crazy. I've barely had anyone in here for any reason...and now Yosuke's sharing a room with me. It's all for the best that I'm exhausted. I don't think I'd be able to sleep otherwise. How did I sleep when Yosuke came to see me in the city...? That was easy, the more he thought about it. Because he hadn't really accepted it then. It wasn't until Naoto made him say it that he'd really accepted that particular truth.

I'm in love with my best friend. God, Yosuke, how am I ever going to tell you that...

"Partner?" Yu jumped at Yosuke's voice, and turned to face him. Yosuke had changed into drawstring pants and a sleeveless shirt, and just looked amused. "You okay down there?"

"Yeah, just... Just tired." Yu chuckled and stood up. "I think your futon should be all set now."

"Thanks." Yosuke went and sat down on the spare futon, and Yu sat on his own. "It's really nice of your uncle to let me come on such short notice."

"I think Uncle just expects random things from me." Yu settled down in the futon, and Yosuke turned off the lights. "At least we're not causing problems for the police anymore."

"Hey, I don't think we were really the real problems for the police."

Yu chuckled. "Not really, but I still remember being the one who got locked in to one of the interrogation rooms."

He heard Yosuke groan. "Don't remind me. That whole night still shows up in my nightmares. Between you getting locked up, and Nanako vanishing...the whole incident with her in the hospital...if I never had to think about that again, it'd be too soon."

"Yeah, I agree with you on that." There was a long pause, and Yu could feel his mind drifting off, but a while later, a soft comment caught his mind again.

"Hey partner?"

"Hm?"

"I..." Yosuke fell silent again, and Yu's eyes opened. Yosuke's voice didn't come back.

"Yosuke?"

There was a long pause before Yosuke replied. "I'm really glad you made it back for Golden Week."

There was something different in Yosuke's voice, Yu noticed. Nothing major, but there was a lot more feeling in those words than usual. At least, as far as he could tell. Was he reading too much into it? Maybe. God knew that he wanted there to be more. But Yu couldn't shake the feeling that somewhere in there, maybe...just maybe...he had a sliver of a chance to hold on to.

"So am I, Yosuke. I really am."

"I wish you didn't have to go back to the city."

Yu sighed softly. "I wish I didn't either."

Another long pause. "Man, this sucks so hard. I mean, I left some friends in the city when my family moved, but no one..." He coughed. "I wasn't as close to them as I am to any of the old Investigation Team. And sure, most of us are still here, but..."

Yu didn't want to finish that sentence; he wasn't sure he could without sounding like an ass. "But it's not everyone," he eventually settled on.

"It's not the same without our leader." Yosuke paused. "None of this is the same without you."

Yu could feel a frog in his throat. "Yosuke..."

"Eh, I'm babbling. I guess I'm more tired than I thought." Yu heard Yosuke shift, clearly rolling to face away from you. "G'night, partner."

"...good night, Yosuke."

If his dreams weren't sweet tonight, he didn't know what else he could do to help them along.