Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Total Drama series characters, episodes, seasons or anything. They all belong to Teletoon, Cartoon network as well as the creators of Total Drama themselves.

Note: Cameron has won Total Drama Revenge of the Island! Some may disagree with me but I think he truly earned it and is a far more deserving winner than Lightning. I would have liked it if Dawn had won, but we can't have everything. Here's hoping that season five will be just as awesome as this one has been! I also TRULY hope Scott never recovers from his current state; that would be exactly what he deserves. Harsh? Yes. Justified? Most definitely! And now … on with the show!

Going on a date is just like eating an orange; there is a rough outer layer and a sweet center!


The tweens had been led to what seemed to be a shopping district. Four clothing shops had a 'reserved' sign hung outside with the Total Drama logo on the sign as well. There had been no stalling as each team had been led into a different shop. The guys of each team were sent to one part of their respective shop and the girls to another.


(Airplane Confessional: Date night!)

Amy: On one hand I wanted to be chosen for the date as I love fashion and France is known for its extremely high quality cloths … on the other hand I don't really like the selection, I could have been paired with Gareth! (Amy shudders).


(Buzzing Bees Guys)


"So Pablo, your first date huh?" Said Oliver in an attempt to strike up a conversation. "I bet this isn't exactly how you thought it would happen huh?"

"Not quite." Agreed Pablo. "But for what it's worth I don't really have any aversions to it, Ling's a nice girl … but she did seem pretty unnerved earlier."

"I suspect she does not have much experience in dating; I'm the oldest on the team and I've never had a girlfriend either, we're a bit too young for it." Said Terrence while looking over a display of cufflinks.

"I've had a date before." Said Robbie proudly.

"Really?" Asked Pablo with interest.

"Yep, they taste god and have a satisfying crunch, get it?" Joked Robbie.

"Ok, I will admit that was a good joke." Laughed Terrence. "So … does anybody have any idea what we are supposed to do?"

"I think we should pick out an outfit for Pablo; it is his date after all." Said Oliver while adjusting his glasses.

"Maybe we should get a tuxedo selected." Suggested Robbie while looking over a rack of tuxedos. "I like the look of this green and orange one; we could score big points for originality."

"I was under the impression I wasn't a clown." Said Pablo flatly.

"Well it's not like I'm making you wear a red nose." Replied Robbie. "Anyway, your hair style should be fine already, as fine as the Fine Bros from YouTube. Care for a breath mint?"

"No thanks; I brushed by teeth this morning." Denied Pablo politely. "Boy, this date is going to be so awkward."

"When is a date not?" Stated Oliver. "Say, how about this?"

Oliver held up a golden yellow tie with small printed pictures of peasants on it.

"Great idea Oliver, I like your thinking." Said Pablo with a clap.

"Are there any army cameo ties?" Asked Terrence.

"They aren't really the sort of thing one would wear on a date." Said Pablo while picking up a small box containing two fifteen carat gold dollar sign cufflinks. "These look pretty cool."

"I'm no expert at dating, but money talks on a date and wearing dollar cufflinks is surely a step in the right direction." Nodded Robbie. "Ok, I think we've got about an hour to get Pablo ready … so let's get to it!"

Robbie began looking over the tuxedo's again while Oliver looked over a rack of a few pairs of fancy and posh shoes. Terrence meanwhile passed Pablo the tie Oliver had picked out.

"I think we stand a good chance in this challenge cadets." Said Terrence confidently. "All we have to rely on in that Privates Pablo and Ling don't get cold feet when they kiss."

"Yeah, hopefully we … wait; what?" Blinked Pablo in shock. "You mean I have to … kiss her?"

"Well yeah, that's kinda the point of a date cadet." Nodded Terrence.

"I … can't do that." Gulped Pablo. "I don't know Ling well enough, and forcing people to do that isn't right."

"You'll do fine Pablo; kissing is easy, just ask Geoff and Bridgette." Chuckled Robbie.

"They are teenagers, I am ten years old." Said Pablo while shaking a little.

"Do not worry Pablo; a life without failure is a life without experience." Said Oliver wisely.

"Thanks for believing in me." Said Pablo sarcastically.

"… Hmmm, I probably could have given better advice." Admitted Oliver.


(Airplane Confessional: Yeah, you really could have!)

Pablo: I would have preferred it if the challenge was to eat snails, it wouldn't have been as emotionally shaking as what I'm supposed to do now.

Terrence: I don't see why Pablo is so nervous; dates are nothing to be afraid of. There are plenty of scary things to be afraid of, like fire and injections.

Oliver: I have never been more thankful for being a nerd; no girl will want me … wait, that's not exactly something to be proud of.


(Buzzing Bees girls)


Calm was not exactly the word to describe Ling at the moment; maybe this was because she had shut herself in a dressing room and was refusing to come out.

"Come on Ling, it's just a date, it'll be fun." Said Karrie cheerfully.

"No it won't; I've only known Pablo for FOUR days, it'll be too awkward." Said Ling with a shameful groan. "Not to mention I don't know a single thing about dating."

"Come on Ling, I'm sure you and Pablo will get along swimmingly." Said Zora positively.

Ling didn't respond.

"Ling is *yawn* suffering from the pre date jitters, I've seen it happen many *yawn* times." Said Darby sleepily as she wearily zig zagged over to a rack of dressed and began to look amongst them for one that Ling would like.

"Ling, it won't be that bad; you're just going as friends. Be thankful you don't have to go with somebody like Lars." Said Karrie supportively.

"I know … but it's just too embarrassing, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do." Mumbled Ling.

"Ling, I may not be able to hear but I do know about how to make somebody look their best. I'm sure you're just overreacting; dates are just like hanging out except at the next level. Who knows; you might have fun." Said Molly sweetly.

Ling unlocked the dressing room door and walked out.

"Well, making my team lose because of my own cowardliness would be very dishonorable. Ok Molly … make me look pretty." Said Ling bravely.

Molly was silent for a moment; due to being deaf it took her a moment to know what Ling was meaning.

"I'm guessing you want a make over, not a problem. Let's make you pretty!" Giggled Molly as she led Ling over to a chair while Darby walked up sleepily holding a scarlet and golden kimono dress.

"Will this do Ling?" Asked Darby tiredly.

"That looks … really nice; where did you find it?" Asked Ling curiously.

"On the clothing *yawn* rack." Mumbled Darby very sleepily.

"We'll do your nails." Said Karrie as she walked up with a nailbrush and a few pots of nail varnish. "What color? Gold or green?"

"Gold will do nicely." Sa Ling as she began to smile … maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Good choice; it goes well with your kimono." Smiled Zora.

"Why can't I just wear my karate uniform?" Asked Ling. "Doesn't this all seem like a bit much?"

"There is no such thing as 'a bit much' when it comes to a date." Said Zora wisely. "Besides; don't you want to wear something fancier?"

"… If I must." Said Ling in defeat.

"Ok; somebody pass me two chopsticks; I know exactly how to make Ling pretty." Said Molly cheerfully.


(Airplane Confessional: Chopstick Fu!)

Ling: It goes against who I am, it goes against my principles … but I have to say that getting a makeover was actually rather fun.

Molly: Ling's hair was very easy to work with … it was a lot of fun!

Karrie: It's true; blonds do have more fun … Molly does anyway.

Darby: (She is leaning against the sink fast asleep).


(Rotten Roaches Guys)


"Boy Jarvis, you sure are lucky." Said Dil cheerfully. "You get to go on a date with a really nice girl and you get t eat fancy food in a restaurant, I'm jealous."

"I'd switch places with you if I could." Mumbled Jarvis. "I'm not ready for something like this, and you saw Pandora, she fainted! … Chris is asking too much of us."

"Yeah, because a wimp like you doesn't know the first thing about girls; I'd be a better choice for a date with that crybaby." Smirked Lars.

"I would not stand by and let you bully Pandora; what you are doing is causing psychological harm to her." Growled Jarvis.

"I agree; she is an innocent butterfly flying freely in the wind but you are the bird that tries to snatch her up at any chance you get … that's not nice." Said Gareth softly.

"You don't scare me!" Said Lars challengingly.

"Maybe not … but would a swarm of flesh eating locusts scare you?" Asked Gareth not quite rhetorically.

Lars looked unnerved for a moment.

"Guys; we need to get Jarvis ready for his, ahem, 'date' if you can really call it that." Said Jethro as he looked over a rack of bow ties.

"What do you mean by 'if you really call it that'?" Asked Dil curiously.

"It's hardly real; pretty much everyone is missing the whole 'fake' concept of this challenge." Said Jethro with a shrug. "Not my point; we need to get Jarvis ready if we are to win again."

"Yeah, because I don't want to stay in crappy Squalid Class again." Agreed Lars.

"Yeah, if you even survive the Drop of Shame ceremony." Stated Dil.

"I probably will; I'm a lot more secure in this game than you guys are." Bragged Lars.

"What do you mean by that?" Asked Gareth slowly.

"Figure it out and I may tell you if you are correct … but I probably won't." Sneered Lars as he picked up a pair of fancy shoes. "Jar boy can wear these, there, now I've done my part."

"Clearly he doesn't understand that ants work as a team." Said Gareth.

"We aren't ants." Said Jethro flatly.

"Aren't we? Humans live in a society that requires team work just like ants … but humans are ignorant and selfish, ants are pure and hard workers … and like ants they can be squished." Said Gareth somewhat poetically.

There was a short silence before Dil clapped.

"Great speech Gareth." Complimented Dil.

"Agreed, that was a very good on the spot monologue." Agreed Jarvis.

"Bah; I don't listen to white trash." Scoffed Lars.

Gareth was deadly silent as he looked at Lars.

"What did you just say?"! Asked Gareth softly but with an undertone of anger.

"I said you are white trash; I bet you and your family are the bottom one percent of society; why else would you be so dirty and wear ragged cloths? Poverty much?" Sneered Lars.

"Never talk about my family like that; we may not have much money but I would do anything for them, they are always there for me just like I'll always be there for them." Growled Gareth intimidatingly.

"We're going to lose again aren't we?" Muttered Jethro in annoyance.

"There is a positive to that possibility." Said Jarvis.

"What's that?" Asked Jethro.

"We can vote off Lars." Smirked Jarvis.


(Airplane Confessional: Jarvis is right, that would be great!)

Jethro: Yeah, that is a positive … or it would be if it weren't for the small fact that I'm allied with Lars! If I use my hypnotism to save him too often then people are gonna know something is up … and something tells me that if Lars goes down he's gonna bring me down with him; that's why I'll get rid of him one round before the finals because by then it will be too late for anybody to do anything to stop me from winning.

Jarvis: I could throw the challenge to make sure Lars is gone … but to be honest I'd rather just go on the date; who knows, it could be fun. Pandora's a good friend and maybe this could be the very thing that can make her smile.

Gareth: Ah, the old fashioned 'bully by wealth' … a low blow Lars. It's also why I don't like Amy that much. Neither of those two could last in my life for one day.

Lars: Gareth is poor huh? This could be a great opportunity for some hilarious bullying! Haw Haw!

Dil: Man; we've got some major clashing personalities haven't we?


(Rotten Roaches Girls)


"You seem to be taking this rather well Pandora." Noted Natasha as she looked over a wardrobe of pretty dresses to find one for Pandora. "I mean, besides fainting that is."

"I've grown to accept my fate; I already know how this is going to go. I'll completely blow it and then get voted off; well, I've already got further than I thought … but why prolong the inevitable? It's rather futile really."

"Be that as it may you might have a good time; do you want to be sad forever?" Asked Natasha nicely. "You may enjoy yourself; childhood is about having fun."

"It's a date … with a boy I've known for four days … on international television … and we have to kiss … I wish I had my teddy with me." Mumbled Pandora.

"I wish I could have gone on the date." Pouted Amy. "Not only would I know exactly how to put a fancy outfit together but I know all about going out; I own several dating books at home."

"Any reason why?" Asked Natasha.

"Mum got them for me." Stated Amy. "I love fancy dining and looking pretty; this is exactly my type of challenge … and I can't do anything; instead we have to rely on Pandora."

"I have full confidence in her; you should too." Said Natasha.

"I'll try … but I can't really take seriously somebody who wears a pink anorak." Said Amy with a tone of teasing.

"It makes me look cute." Justified Natasha. "And you can play a part in the challenge; we will be marked on the outfit Pandora is wearing, you can really help us there."

"Really?" Blinked Amy.

"Yes, that's what we were told earlier … remember." Said Natasha.

"… Oh yeah; ok, I'll find Pandora something that will make her look so pretty and fashionable that even Simon Cowell wouldn't be able to criticize her!" Declared Amy as she pulled up a rack of over twenty outfits and began to look over them as though she was analyzing them.

"Hey Jade, how are the cufflinks coming along?" Asked Natasha.

Jade gave the thumbs up while holding a small box containing a pair of cufflinks. Behind her were boxes and boxes of discarded cufflinks.

"I've found the perfect pair." Nodded Jade as she presented the box to Pandora. "What do you think?"

Pandora looked at the cufflinks and managed to smile knowingly. The cufflinks were shaped like lightning bolts.

"Thank you Jade." Said Pandora politely. "I really appreciate the effort you guys are putting into helping me … but … don't you think you're wasting your time on me a little?"

"Anything to do with fashion in any way is not a waste of time." Said Amy. "I happen to like your jumper; it'll probably be in style this winter."

"Exactly; and your hair would look even greater if it was shocked with electricity ... may I?" Asked Jade with a giggle.

"Err … maybe another time." Said Pandora while sounding flattered all the same. "I'm not used to being complimented on my cloths or hair … or being complimented at all."

"I don't see why not; you're really fun to talk to." Said Natasha. "Why be sad? Life's too short to spend feeling tearful."

"I know … but when I wake up each morning I have a new wave of depression … I want to be happy but my past haunts me like a ghost … and I don't like ghosts very much." Said Pandora nervously.

Before Natasha could ask Pandora to go into a bit more detail on this Amy let out a happy cheer of triumph.

"I have found a perfect dress." Said Amy as she took a dress off the rack. "What do you think?"

The dress Amy had was just Pandora's size; it was a frostily white and blue dress with a snowflake pattern on it and a few pearls around the wrists.

"Am I fashionably knowledgably or am I fashionably knowledgeable." Said Amy with a grin.

"Whoa … I really like that dress." Said Pandora with a smile.

"Me too!" Cheered Jade.


(Airplane Confessional: A wintery dress for a frosty princess or something.)

Pandora: I may feel happy now but my tomorrow I'll be sad again. Still, I'll try and enjoy myself while I can … this might actually be fun … but it doesn't change the fact my tummy is numb with nervousness.

Natasha: You know; Amy can actually be very tolerable and even nice if you involve her in stuff she enjoys … it's just a matter of knowing what not to do around her.

Jade: Who knew Amy could be nice … that's 'shocking'! (Jade zaps herself with her tazer).

Amy: Ah fashion, how could I live without thee?


(Sneaky Snails Guys)


"This is awesome; I've actually got my first date!" Cheered Craig with a look of excitement on his face.

"Yes we are so happy for you." Drawled Edgar. "Enjoy it while it lasts because it'll be only one that you will ever get."

"Hey, I don't want a date with anyone else; I'm a one women man … if that." Admitted Craig.

"Gee, I wonder why zat iz." Said Albert sarcastically. "Maybe it is because you are a complete womanizer and rather rude."

"You're kinda like Bender." Agreed Morton.

"Come on guys; I'm not like Lars or anything; I'm just a normal guy who has hit puberty." Said Craig. "Besides; we're supposed to be getting me ready for the date; we can't win if I don't look the part."

"I doubt we're going to win if we have to rely on you and Ramona getting along." Said Edgar with an eye roll. "She hates you."

"Hate is a really strong word; I just haven't won her over yet is all." Said Craig confidently.

"I reckon I won't be much help in this challenge; I don't know that much about girls." Admitted Vinsun. "All I know is that Craig should give Ramona some space."

"Easier said zan done my friend." Said Albert. "Still; we'd better get him looking as good as eez possible."

"Not that much in that case." Drawled Edgar.

"Look who's talking." Said Craig.

"Burn!" Laughed Morton. "But seriously. We don't have to argue like this; we're just as much a team as the unbeaten Koror of Survivor Palau."

"Yeah, but unlike Ulong our opponents aren't completely useless." Stated Albert.

"What are Koror and Ulong?" Asked Vinsun in puzzlement.

"They were the tribes in the tenth season of Survivor; I take it you don't watch it much." Asked Morton.

"Not much." Nodded Vinsun. "We don't got cable back home."

"You know; if there is ever a television trivia challenge Morton is gonna ace it." Said Edgar. "Too bad that's pretty much all he can do."

"What makes you think we won't vote for you?" Asked Vinsun.

"There is an even gender split; if you were to vote me off you'd lose that advantage and the girls would pick you guys off one by one, plus I'm the brains on this team; you can build a catapult with muscle but you need a brainy guy to make the blue prints." Said Edgar with an undertone of bragging.

"That eez of little importance; we haven't lost yet. We'll cross that bridge when we come to eet." Said Albert. "Now let's just get Craig an outfit chosen, I just know this night will end badly so we shouldn't prolong what will eventually happen."


(Airplane Confessional: Dysfunctional much?)

Craig: Those guys think I'm gonna blow this; well I'll show them! I happen to know a lot about dating, more than they do at least.

Albert: And here I was theenking that being in France was a good omen.

Morton: Boy, the other guys are as divided as the fan base is about Owen.


(Sneaky Snails Girls)


"Just my luck; I have to go on a date against my will … and it's with Craig." Said Ramona in disdain.

"Why not just use a joy buzzer on him?" Suggested Megan.

"Or your squirting flower like you did in Egypt?" Added Bonnie.

"Hmm, good ideas." Nodded Ramona.

"No! No! No! If you do that then we'll be disqualified; just suck it up and swallow your pride." Snapped Elvira.

"… Would you want to go on a date with Craig?" Asked Ramona.

"That is irrelevant; I'm not the one who was chosen to do it." Said Elvira with a haughty sniff. "Just get into a dress that'll make you look at least mildly presentable; the cloths you are wearing are simply not good enough."

"They're stylish." Said Ramona defensively.

"Yeah, just like Emily's hair." Said Elvira sarcastically.

"Thanks." Smiled Emily.

"I was being sarcastic you twit." Said Elvira flatly.

"Twit is a funny word." Giggled Emily while handing Ramona a pair of orange high heels that looked like they were studded with real emeralds … and they were. "What do you think of these?"

"Whoa; those are beautiful, I've never been a shoe girl but I really like those." Said Ramona as she took off her normal shoes and slipped her small feet into the fancy shoes. "I feel more upper class already!"

"Would you like to borrow my sunglasses?" Offered Megan. "That way you can unnerve Craig into behaving."

"No thanks; I've never really been able top pull off the sunglasses look." Admitted Ramona.

"Come on, you're a stylish girl! I bet your surname is style." Smiled Bonnie.

"Actually it's Tempest." Said Ramona. "My full name is Ramona Annie Tempest."

"Cute; now let's get you looking cute for Craig, for starters we've got to make both your eyes visible, Heehee!" Giggled Emily as she took out a hairbrush and sat Ramona in a chair.

"No, don't!" Pleaded Ramona.

"Why not?" Asked Emily.

"… I just don't want you too." Mumbled Ramona.

"Come o, your eyes are probably beautiful." Said Emily cheerfully as she moved Emily's hair away from over her right eye.

"Oh, so that's why you never reveal both eyes." Said Bonnie in realization.

Now that Ramona's eyes were visible it was clear why she did her right eye; her left eye was aqua blue but her right eye was dark green.

"If you want to laugh I suppose I can't stop you." Sighed Ramona.

Elvira laughed but nobody else did. Bonnie and Megan smiled warmly at Ramona as if to reassure her.

"We won't laugh at you for having non matching eyes I think it's cool, loads of cool aliens are isometric." Said Megan supportably.

"Exactly, and a lot of my favorite Pokémon are isometric like Magnetron." Nodded Bonnie in agreement. "Be proud of what makes you different; if we were all the same we'd be as boring as an electrode; it's not the very worst Pokémon but its design is a little bland."

"Thanks girls." Smiled Ramona. "Say, Emily, any chance of putting a few ribbons in my hair … preferably purple?"

"You got it Ramona!" Nodded Emily with a joke salute.


(Airplane Confessional: Eye see you! Bad pun I know.)

Ramona: It feels nice to be pretty; my hair is kinda hard to take care of since I let the fringe grow so long. I thought everyone would laugh at me if they knew; well, Elvira did but the offers didn't … they're really good friends to me.

Megan: I still say that Emily would have looked good with sunglasses; but if she doesn't want to wear them then that shows how confident she is … hopefully Craig will behave himself.

Bonnie: I advised Ramona to squirt mustard at Craig's face if he tries to squeeze her bum, but I hope it won't come to that … not if Craig wants to get to the next round.

Emily: I've only just noticed it but Elvira kind of looks like Dolores Umbridge.

Elvira: Ramona is as mismatched as a spots and stripes style.


(Spooky Spiders Guys)


"You feeling ok Tony?" Asked Henry while Tony sat in a chair while attempting to comb his blond hair into a tidy style.

"Tony is fine." Nodded Tony while trying to brush his hair. "This won't be to hard; all I need to do is eat a meal and Tony knows he can do that."

"What this stupid individual isn't telling you is that you have to kiss Suki." Said Dexter flatly while glaring at Henry.

Tony froze.

"W-w-what?" Blinked Tony.

"Yeah, on the lips … but don't worry, it's as easy as frenching a toilet." Shrugged Dexter.

Everyone was silent and stared at Dexter while looking slightly disturbed.

"AAARGH! I can't do this!" Wailed Tony as he can in circles and then hit into the wall. "Ow."

"Calm down Tony; it isn't that bad. It's just a date; I'd love to go on a date." Said Ted while helping Tony back to his feet. "There are some really cute girls this season, don't you guys agree?"

"I dunno." Said Tony dumbly.

"I guess." Mumbled Henry.

"I prefer bathrooms." Said Dexter.

"I don't want a girlfriend; I'd much prefer the million." Shrugged Benjamin. "Either way I'm not getting voted off tonight so the outcome of this challenge means very little to me … though I'd like to stay in first class."

"What makes you so confident?" Asked Ted curiously.

"Guess." Shrugged Benjamin indifferently.

"Err … you're wearing your lucky hat?" Guessed Ted.

"… No." Said Benjamin flatly. "Look; we've got one objective here, to get Tony ready for his date with Suki … so we may as well get on with it."

"Agreed; the first thing Tony is gonna need is a suit." Nodded Ted. "Hmm … would a sports jersey be acceptable?"

"No way; how about a bathrobe?" Suggested Dexter. "It tickles in all the right ways, just like a toilet!"

"Ok … awkward." Said Ted blankly.

"Welcome to my world; he's always hassling me." Said Henry.

"Only because you are insane." Shrugged Dexter.

"Look who's talking." Said Ted dryly.

SPLOP!

A moment later a toilet plunger was stuck to Ted's face; he took a deep breath and growled.

"Ok, not cool!" Glared Ted despite the fact he couldn't see.

"Heh, funny." Said Benjamin in mild amusement.


(Airplane Confessional: Plunger sponger! That rhymes.)

Ted: Ok, Dexter is really getting on my nerves now. I try to be patient and all but he just kind of … makes me mad. Plus he's almost as crazy as GLaDOS!

Dexter: I will leave them alone when they worship bathrooms like I do; the naïve fools, they keep denying how awesome and lovely bathrooms are when it is right in front of them.

Benjamin: I represent the neutral ground between the guys on my team. Most of them are stupid and I can easily get them to do my bidding. Ted may be a problem; but if I get him voted off we may lose more since he's a strong competitor. Meh; I'll think about it.


(Spooky Spiders Girls)


"This is gonna be fun!" Cheered Sophie as she held up two tie died outfits. "Which one do you prefer Suki?"

"Erm … they're a bit much don't you think?" Giggled Suki.

"They're loud outfits and I love noise; you know it makes sense." Said Sophie loudly and cheerfully. "Besides; you have to look nice."

"Can't I just wear my nurse outfit? This challenge is embarrassing enough as it is." Mumbled Suki.

"Come on; it's ain't that #bleep# bad. It could have been a #bleep# lingerie modal competition … even a million #bleep# bucks wouldn't compensate for that." Shuddered Bea.

"I don't even think that would be legal." Said Winter as she adjusted her glasses.

"#Bleep# the government; they're such a bunch of rich #bleep# phonies who live to leech off the hard workers they govern. They never #bleep#' care about those whop have problems; only those who have #bleep# money." Stated Bea. "That's what I think anyway … #bleep#!"

"Why did you add that last swear words? It didn't add anything to your point." Inquired Winter.

"Err, no reason." Mumbled Bea. "Anyway; we've gotta #bleep# make Suki look good, any got any #bleep# ideas?"

"We could give her a monocle." Suggested Sophie. "That or a whip, guys like that right?"

There was an awkward silence.

"Any got any other suggestions … suggestions that are actually #bleep# good?" Asked Bea again.

"How about we give her some lipstick." Suggested Winter as she held up a tube of purple lipstick. "Everyone likes purple."

"Agreed." Nodded Sophie in a loud voice. "Though green is better."

"Red is the #bleep best in my opinion." Said Bea. "So; let's get to work then girls."

"Can I wear a tiara?" Asked Suki hopefully. "If I can't wear my nurse hat I'd like to wear one of those, gold colored if possible."

"Sure, why not." Shrugged Sophie with a nod. "I'll go get one. And with that, POW I'm gone!"

Sophie ran over to a wardrobe and began rooting through it for a golden tiara while Bea took out a tape measure.

"We should get Suki's measurements; that way we can #bleep' find just the right #bleep dress for her." Explained Bea logically.

"Sounds like a plan … but could you tone down the swearing, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable." Requested Winter.

"I would if I #bleep# could." Mumbled Bea.


(Airplane Confessional: Would that I could … would that I could.)

Sophie: Are tiaras even in style anymore? Didn't they stop being popular in the forties? Ah who cares, they still look cute I suppose.

Suki: I hope the restaurant has ice cream; maybe that would make this whole thing less awkward.

Bea: Maybe things would be easier if I just didn't #bleep# speak.


(The Sweet Pistachio Restaurant)


Owen was sitting at a table with what looked like a seven course meal in front of him. He also had a pen and a notebook at the ready. Noah was standing next to him running over the instructions one more time.

"Just judge them on how the act, how they get along, any awkward silences and how good their kiss is. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go back to the plane and read a book." Said Noah as he turned to leave.

"Don't you want to stay and watch the cute couples?" Asked Owen.

"Sorry; but this challenge does not interest me in the slightest bit." Stated Noah as he left.

Owen was silent for a moment but then shrugged and readied himself for the challenge.

"Ok everyone; you may enter the restaurant." Announced Owen.

The doors on the left and right side of the dining room opened and the coupled entered; girls from the left and guys from the right.

"Whoa Ling, I like what you've done with your hair." Complimented Pablo.

Ling's hair had been done up in a bun and it had two chopsticks in it; she looked very pretty with this in conjunction to her red and gold kimono.

"Thanks … I still feel humiliated though." Mumbled Ling.

"If it makes you feel better … me too." Admitted Pablo.

Pandora felt very nervous and out of place in her snowflake patterned light blue and white dress.

"You look very nice Pandora." Complimented Jarvis.

"T-t-thanks." Said Pandora nervously but with a shy smile.

Ramona braced herself for the worst as Craig approached her.

"Whoa Ramona; I really like your eyes." Complimented Craig.

Ramona blinked; she had been expecting Craig to immediately hit on her … but he had instead given her a simple compliment about the part of her she personally liked the least.

"Err … thanks." Mumbled Ramona.

Toy and Suki glanced at each other for a moment.

"Err … your hair looks nice Tony." Said Suki.

"Aw thanks!" Smiled Tony as he rapidly shook Suki's hand.

"Ok you guys." Said Owen from his table. "When I sound the air horn your dates will officially start and I will then mark you on your performance. I hope you enjoy the food; there is quite a selection on the menu, it's so good! Also; you each have a table allocated to you; your team's table will have a table cloth matching your respective team's signature color. So … have fun guys!"

"I'm sure we will." Said Craig cheerfully.

Owen took out the air horn and raised it above his head.

"On the count of three your date begins." Said Owen in barely contained excitement.

"One"

"Two"

"Three!"

Owen sounded the air horn and the tweens covered their ears; after the noise stopped they approached their tables and sat down. While most couples simply pulled out there own chairs Craig pulled out Ramona's chair for her.

"Ladies first." Said Craig politely.

"Err … thank you." Said Ramona as she sat down.


(Confessional: Let the dating game begin!)

Pandora: Me and Jarvis started by ordering our meals and then we … oh why am I even saying anything? This is going to be so embarrassing!

Ramona: Wait, I can't comprehend this … was Craig being a gentleman?

Craig: I've watched every dating show, dating movie and romance film ever created so I kind of know what to do on a date. Watch and learn everyone!


"So Ling; what are you going to order?" Asked Pablo.

"I think I'll order some sushi; I'm surprised they have it here." Said Ling while practically hiding herself behind the menu.

"Don't hide yourself Ling, this is no big deal; just think of it as hanging out except that it's not." Suggested Pablo.

"I'll try … it's just a little awkward for me; I may be a black belt in karate but I'm a complete beginner in this sort of thing." Admitted Ling.

"Don't worry; it isn't real, we're just playing pretend." Assured Pablo gently. "So you're having sushi … I think I'll try it as well."

"Do you like sushi?" Asked Ling curiously.

"I'll find out after I try it." Smiled Pablo. "I love trying new foods; being that my parents are billionaires I have a rather large variety on the dinner menu back home."

"Why did you join the show if you're already rich?" Asked Ling.

"To make friends and have fun; I may not need the money but if I win I'll probably give it to those who need it. So if I win, others are going to win as well." Explained Pablo. "So … why did you join?"

"Well; I want to hone my karate skills and purify my chi in all four quarters of the globe." Said Ling. "Going on a date was not really something that I expected."

"You've got to expect the unexpected." Said Pablo.

"A wise saying." Nodded Ling.


Pandora was hiding herself behind her menu and wasn't really sure what to do. Jarvis could tell she was nervous so decided to strike up conversation.

"You look really nice in that dress Pandora; even if I was a girl I wouldn't look that good in one." Said Jarvis half jokingly.

Pandora smiled slightly and put down the menu.

"Thanks … I notice that you've still got your hat." Said Pandora as she noticed Jarvis's blue and red cap was still on his head.

"It's very special to me." Said Jarvis while looking wistful. "It belonged to my granddad when he was little … I wear it as a sign of respect to his loving memory as he has now started the journey in the next world."

"… That must have been difficult … I'm very sorry I asked." Said Pandora nervously as she hid herself with the menu again.

"Don't hide yourself Pandora; that won't score us points. And besides; we might as well enjoy ourselves." Said Jarvis gently.

"I suppose you are right … but I find it hard to enjoy myself; and this whole thing is a little bit embarrassing." Admitted Pandora.

"It's just a fake date; we're not actually going out." Said Jarvis as he realized why Pandora was so nervous. "Just pretend your over at my house eating diner with me on the sofa while we watch a cartoon."

"Ok, I'll try." Nodded Pandora. "So; what are you going to order? Hopefully not spaghetti and meatballs; I'm no lady and you're no tramp."

Jarvis and Pandora cheerfully laughed at the joke and Pandora started to forget her nervousness.


"So Ramona; what are you going to order?" Asked Craig.

"I think I'll have a tartiflette; I've never tried one but it's good to try knew things." Said Ramona. "Why are you asking?"

"I was going to order what you were having; it'll be new for both of us since I've never tried a tartiflette either." Said Craig politely. "Since I doubt they'll let us have wine I think I'll just have a bottle of coke for a drink."

"… I think I will too." Said Ramona. "Craig, why are you acting … gentlemanly? This isn't what I've come to expect from you."

"Hey, this is a date right? Dates have to be perfect … not just for the lucky guy but especially for the sweet girl. I'm not messing this up for you." Explained Craig. "It's Paris! I want you to enjoy yourself even if we do lose."

"… Thank you, that's surprisingly nice if you." Said Ramona in surprise.

"It's what I do." Smiled Craig.


"I'm going to order toast." Declared Tony.

"That's more of a breakfast food; why don't you order some pie?" Suggested Suki. "I'm going to try a prawn korma; prawns are delicious by themselves so they must be heavenly in a korma sauce.

"Okey dokie." Nodded Tony. "I'll order toast pie!"

Suki giggled at Tony's dimness and cleared her throat.

"How about chicken pie?" Said Suki. "It's not exactly a fancy food but it's still tasty."

"Ok; what are you having to drink? I'll have banana soda!" Said Tony while he picked up his spoon and began to look at it.

"Does it even come in that flavor?" Asked Suki curiously.

"It might." Stated Tony.

"I think I'll have grape juice; it's my favorite drink." Said Suki. "What's your favorite drink Tony?"

"I like strawberry milkshakes." Said Tony with a silly grin on his face. "Do you like pie?"

"Everyone likes pie silly." Giggled Suki cheerfully.


(Airplane Confessional: These dates are much more than simply a type of nut!)

Dil: I wish the rest of us had been allowed in … but you can't have everything I suppose.

Jarvis: So far so good, hopefully it'll stay like that.

Ling: You know; this challenge is actually just as relaxing as meditating in my Zen Garden back home.

Tony: I like pie!

Pandora: (She looks hopeful). … Maybe this won't be so bad after all.


Next Time: The dates continue and one team loses. After a follow up challenge that involves bungee jumping off the Eiffel Tower somebody else is voted off.