Once the bedroom door was shut, Arizona felt her nerves kick in and leaned back against the cool wood as she watched Callie crawl onto the bed and yawn.

"this conversation can wait… your healing and your tired and you need to get your sleep" Arizona sighed.

"don't you dare go anywhere Arizona Michelle… get you're a-s-s on this bed and talk to me!" Callie ordered, raising a challenging eyebrow at the blonde, daring her to not do as she was told.

"you know that Sof isnt here… you don't need to spell anymore" Arizona scoffed as she moved to the bed and sat at the foot of it, glancing at Callie nervously.

"smartass… so… that was a pretty impressive speech down there" Callie smiled playfully, not wanting the blonde to tense up and build her walls back up.

"you know how much I love to ramble" Arizona smirked despite berating herself internally for making a fool of herself.

"so you umm… you still love me?" Callie asked as she eyed the blonde, studying her face for any sign of dishonestly or confusion.

"I never stopped… I tried… I really tried… but I just couldn't… like I said, you're a hard girl to get over" arizona offered a sad smile.

"you know I never stopped loving you either right? I mean I want to be honest with you, its important that right now we are honest about everything… I did love Penny…. But I wasn't in love with her, I could never be in love with her because I will always be in love with you… but I forced myself to move on and just hope that one day everything would fall in to place for me and her" Callie admitted.

"I know… she told me" Arizona admitted, watching the confusion etch across Callie's face.

"she umm, she what? What did she say, exactly?" Callie asked in a tone that was equal measures of nervousness and anger.

"she told me that she could see it in my eyes that I still loved you… and that she knew the look because she sees it in your eyes even though you thought you hid it well from her" Arizona confessed as Callie's face softened as a guilty look took over. "she also told me that I should tell you how I feel because if you decided to stay she would walk away and let us be happy… but if you went back to her she would look after you and pick up the pieces"

"wait… when did she tell you this?" Callie asked a little hurt that it had been kept a secret from her.

"the night of the accident… she may have come back to the ICU to find me with my head on your chest listening to your heart beating and crying after begging you to just live" Arizona smiled shyly as Callie eyed her.

"you begged me to live?" Callie smiled coyly as Arizona nodded.

"I told you that... I could live waking up everyday without seeing your face next to me, I could fall asleep everynight knowing you were in someone elses arms, I could live knowing that im not your wife and your love anymore… but I couldn't live not knowing that you were still under the same sky, so you needed to live for me to be able to live" Arizona confessed as she held Callie's gaze and saw the tears building in the brunettes eyes.

"you said that?" Callie asked around her dry mouth, unable to believe Arizona could say something so beautiful.

"I did. Its actually the second time that day I said it… the first time was in the scrub room before I jumped in on your surgery and I broke down in Baileys arms… she told me to go and tell you exactly the same thing to help you make it through that surgery… but then you coded a few minutes after I got in there and Peirce, who is always so calm and collected, started to freak out so I jumped up to see what was wrong and the stitches she put in your heart had ripped and she couldn't get a good position to fix it, so I jumped in… without thinking… Bailey is pissed I did it but I didn't think… all I knew was your heart wasn't beating and if I didn't do something I would lose you for good so i grabbed some sutures and began stitching" Arizona confessed, wanting Callie to understand all the reasons her emotions were running so high at the moment.

"you fixed my broken heart?" Callie asked with a smirk as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I did… I made that exact joke that I couldn't wait to tell you that I had fixed your broken heart right after id finished and we made sure there were no more leaks… I think everyone in the room burst out laughing" Arizona offered a dimpled smile, noticing the fatigue on Callie's face as the brunette tried to remain seated despite the pain she was in, the blonde crawled up the bed, pulled off her prosthetic and laid down, waiting for Callie to relax her body and get comfortable.

"thankyou for fixing my broken heart" Callie smiled sadly.

"I never want you to have a broken heart… you know that day I was like a cardio god… Sof and you both had the same aortic tear believe it or not… when you guys arrived at the hospital… Penny was in the bus with Sof, covered in her blood and Sof was coding… I was rooted to the spot as my own heart broke seeing our little girl laid there… dead… the only thing keeping her alive was a paramedic who was working the bag and doing compresses…. I told Penny to go with you and not to leave your side or I would kick her ass and I jumped up on the gurney and started doing the compressions… nothing worked to get her heart started… twenty minutes Cal… that's how long I sat on that gurney with my damn prosthetic jamming into my hip because it wouldn't bend how I needed it too… everytime I stopped the compressions her heart gave out again… twenty minutes I sat there praying to anyone who would listen to just make her heart start again, Karev had to pull my hands away so Peirce could cut her open to fix it… I couldnt stop even though I knew I needed to I couldn't… because the second I stopped compressing, her heart stopped and I knew if we lost her…." Arizona trailed off as her tears took over as she sobbed.

"hey… come on you need to calm down… Sofia is just downstairs… she is fine… she is going to be ok… we both are, because of you… you fixed both of our hearts because you're a rockstar!" Callie soothed as she brushed the pad of her thumb over the blondes cheeks to wipe away the tears.

"I really don't know how I could have lived if I had lost either of you Cal… your both my world and just the thought that one or both of you may not have made it… I just.. it crushes me" Arizona sobbed as Callie pulled her into her chest.

"I want you to promise me something… everytime feel yourself starting to get upset because of this… I want you to put your ear against my chest… or Sof's chest… and you listen to the sound of our hearts beating… and you remember that the only reason that our hearts beat, is because of you… can you do that?" Callie murmered into the blondes hair, kissing her temple as she felt the blonde nod against her chest softly.

"you ok?" Callie asked several minutes later when Arizona's sobs has quietened.

"shhh… I'm enjoying this moment too much, just give me a few more minutes of it, it has been too long since you held me like this and I just need a few more minutes" Arizona confided and Callie complied as she tightened her broken body as much as she could, holding the blonde,who held her heart tightly in her arms.

"sorry… ijust.." Arizona trailed off as she pulled away from the embrace and couldn't meet Callie's eyes.

"you just needed to be lost in the feeling of my embrace for a few moments and forget where we are and why we are here and instead just bask in the warmth and the security and the love that only my arms can provide?" Callie asked, smirking when Arizona glanced at her shyly.

"I was going to say I just needed a few more minutes with my favourite boobie pillows… but what you said works too" Arizona played as she rested her head back down on her pillow and basked in Callie's smile.

"my boobie pillows? really?" Callie smirked.

"what? Your rack makes an awesome pillow" Arizona winked, her heart soaring at how easily their banter came to them.

"you know… I think that it quite possibily the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me" Callie smirked.

"oh really… after everything I have said to you in the last week and a half… that's what you think is the sweetest?" Arizona scoffed.

"no the sweetest was you telling me that no matter what your not letting me go again because everytime you let me go we always end up right back here so your not letting go this time" Callie sobered for the moment as she studied the blonde. "did you mean it?" Callie asked nervously.

"every word. I miss you so much. I love you even more. I miss the light that you bring into my world everyday by just being here, even if we arent together. I swear ortho hates me because everytime I page for a consult and you don't show up I throw daggers at whoever arrived for daring to not be you… you make life worth living Calliope" Arizona didn't blink, wanting for Callie to see the complete honesty in her eyes.

"so your telling me when I get back to work I'm going to have to convince my entire department that my girlfriend isnt a complete bitch who hates them all?" Callie smirked.

"wait what?" Arizona froze at Callie's words.

"what I cant have them thinking you're a bitch" Callie scoffed.

"no the other thing you said!" Arizona watched Callie intently as the brunette ran over her words in her head, trying to figure out what had spooked the blonde before her eyes widened a little and she glanced at Arizona with a light blush.

"wow I didn't even realise I just said that… how assumptious of me" Callie winked, trying to play off her blunder but as soon as she saw Arizona's face drop she mentally kicked herself.

"I don't know what the future has in store Arizona… I cant promise that from this moment forward its going to be all rainbows and unicorns, because we both know that's not how it works… but we both also know how amazing it can be for us… how when we are at our best, we are incredible… I mean we have a lot to work out, and I think we need to not rush into anything… but if you really meant all of those amazing things you rambled to our entire family earlier, then I think maybe we should explore this… and see where it leads… and I want you to know that I hope it leads to being able to call you my girlfriend again…. And without rushing anything, but with full disclosure in mind… I hope that one day it means that I get my wife back, because I really miss my wife" Callie confessed, her eyes never leaving the blue pools she was sinking in.

"so we are going to give us a go… one last time?" Arizona pleaded.

"one last shot" Callie smiled softly.

"that's all we will need… because like I already told you… im not letting you go again… I am SO done with letting you go" Arizona returned the smile, gasping as Callie leaned forwards and placed the softest kiss on Arizona's lips before it was gone.

"so out of curiousity…" Arizona trailed off thoughtfully.

"you can call me your girlfriend you moron, just remember that this is fresh and new and we have a whole list of things we need to relearn about each other and there are going to be things we learn about the last few years apart that are going to make us jealous and angry and hurt and were going to want to scream at each other… so we take baby steps, and if it gets too hard all we have to do is be honest and we work it out together as a team, and if for some reason we cant make it work, we go back to being friends" Callie smiled, knowing exactly what Arizona was thinking.

"friends with benefits though right?" Arizona smirked when Callie eyed her incredulously.

"you know the last friends with benefits thing I had going on resulted in Sofia" Callie mocked.

"well I promise to do my best to get you knocked up, but don't hold out much hope… I'm not as legendary as Sloan" Arizona smiled softly.

"so while we are on the topic of getting knocked up" Callie probed.

"baby steps" Arizona winked playfully causing Callie to let out a frustrated sigh as she rolled on her back.

"wait… you were being a smart ass there and playing with words and not chastising me for asking werent you?" Callie glared at the blonde who was smiling at her, her dimples on full intensity.

"oh you should have seen your face… your so easy" Arizona smirked.

"we will see how easy I am when I don't put out for a very long time for that… that was mean" Callie pouted.

"I'm sorry baby I just couldnt resist" Arizona scoffed at Callies threat.

"God I have missed that" Callie closed her eyes as a smile spread across her face, glancing at the silent blonde she noticed her questioning yet bemused smile.

"you called me baby. I forgot the butterflies I feel in my stomach when you call me that… as soon as you just said it I felt them… I missed those butterflies… which is ironic because I remember having to pray to find the strength to get over the fact that you had butterflies on your scrub cap" Callie smirked and nodded at the shock on Arizonas face.

"why didn't you just steal my scrub cap and destroy it" Arizona smirked eventually.

"because I was praying to find a way to love you despite our differences… I would never pray to change who you are or do something to change who you are. I have only ever wanted to love you for you and nothing less… all of your flaws make up the woman I have loved for years and I wouldn't change a single one of them" Callie admitted, smiling at the love radiating from Arizonas eyes

"what?" Callie smirked.

"you've gotten soppy in your old age" Arizona grinned.