Hi everyone, I cant even begin to thank you all for the reviews! I know I left the last chapter on a rather dramatic cliff hanger, and I am not sure this one is too much better but I really enjoyed writing it. I want to throw a special thank you out there to Jess1308 who has helped me write, edit, organize, re-edit this chapter many times, particularly the letter, which I am very proud of the length. My first draft it was like 300 characters so, you have her to thank for that lol. I received some great insight and I think it really helped pull this chapter together, although it does seem slightly shorter than I thought it would be. I hope you all enjoy and please review! Your reviews make me want to continue and show me your still interested! Enjoy - Courtney

"Marry me" Alex repeated softly. Her voice lingered in the quiet air. Her knee bent onto the cold sidewalk. The night sky was filled with bright lights coming from the incredibly tall Eiffel tower. Her emerald eyes pierced the blonde's, leaving her speechless, her words caught in her throat. The second request sounded more of a statement than question.

"Please?" She continued; the blonde stood there, shocked. The blonde smiled brightly, moving in for the acceptance before she was yanked back by a short dark haired man.

"Piper!" He yelled out, breaking the moment between the two women. The blonde frowned before turning to see the disruption. The man didn't stop to look at Alex, his brown eyes focused on the blonde woman, towing her away.

"Piper, what are you doing, we have to get back to the hotel, let's go!" He dragged her away from Alex. Alex didn't move from her position, her hands stretched out, cradling a small black velvet box. The box was opened upright, showing a beautiful diamond ring. There was one large diamond in the middle, surrounding by four smaller diamonds, each holding a breath taking beauty. The gold band was thin, making the stones sparkle and look enormous. Piper's expression was twisted into despair; she wanted to stay but didn't have the courage to stop the man.

"Larry… let go!" She protested gently.

"We will be late, come on, we have to get back!" he continued pulling, hardening his grasp on the blonde's arm. She didn't stop him or fight any further. She was torn.

"Pipes…" Alex pleaded softly, tears forming.

Piper's eyes filled with sadness, her arm stretched out for Alex as distance built between them. They finally broke eye contact when the distance was filled with people passing bye. Alex stood from her position, sobbing. She searched in the crowd for the blonde… she was nowhere to be found.

Piper sat in the blue leather chair quietly, her heavy eye lids starting to close. It had been three days since Alex's surgery and Piper had spent majority of the time in tears. Piper replayed the moment in her head repeatedly until it became too much and she broke down again. Her hands fell to her sides; her left hand hit something hard in the crease of the chair. She wiped her eyes to focus them on what she had touched. There was a small white envelope with the name Piper written in Alex's script. Piper struggled to open it, her hands were shaking. She accidently tore the sides of the white envelope open to pick a piece of white stock paper out. She cleared her tears from her face once more and focused on the writing. Her mind was fuzzy and tired but she pushed through it to read the letter.

My dearest Piper,
I wrote this letter several times trying to find the right words and I don't think I will ever get it just right. Words will never be able to describe the depth of love I have for you. I have always loved you and I always will.
From day one, I realized you were something different. 'Love at first sight' is such a cliché, but for some reason, I can't seem to disagree. I spent my whole life building walls and blocking emotions in order to portray a sense of control, but you saw through me. You accepted everything about me right from the beginning, loved me unconditionally, and allowed me to love like I never had before. I fell more in love with you every day, and although at the end I wasn't around for you, our time together was never in vain. You challenged me daily, called me out on my flaws, and most importantly you loved me more than I could ever love myself. After that first night, I decided I only wanted the best for you, kid. For a long time I thought I was doing just that. Though it seemed like I was selfish, every decision I made was to protect and provide for you. I thought buying you expensive gifts and taking you all over the world would make you happy. I wanted to give you so much more in life and I wanted a life with you. By staying in business I thought I could support us and give you the life you deserved. However, I couldn't separate my love and my work, which made me lose the only thing I have ever wanted... you. I let the cartel run my life and unfortunately you had to pay the price. I am so sorry my mistakes forced you to leave, I don't blame you. You tried to tell me over and over again you only wanted my time, but I couldn't see clearly. I realized too late that none of it mattered unless you were there to enjoy it with me and I spent every day paying for that mistake. Hindsight is always 20/20, I suppose.
I don't think I can say it enough, but I am so sorry. I continually fucked your life up and can't seem to stop. For eight years, I walked this earth lonely after you left hoping I could turn back time to fix our relationship. I regret every day not leaving Kubra sooner, but the past is the past and we both need to move on from it.
When you came back into my life, I figured it was for a reason. I was determined to fix our past and make a better future with you. From the moment I saw you in the hallway, I started to feel whole again, kid. After the initial shock of seeing you, I finally found my voice and approached you while silently begging to act calm (that's right, I'm admitting I was nervous). I couldn't help but smile when I said your name; I have always loved the way it rolled off my tongue (amongst other things of yours that I liked on my tongue). You were gone for so long and when I touched your shoulder, it was like electricity shot through my body and brought me back to life. My heart beat became dependent on you. I lived for your smile, your laugh with an occasional snort, your ramblings and hand movements when you were nervous, your temper, the way you would freeze and shamelessly rake your eyes over me if you thought I looked sexy, the way your eyes became hooded and full of lust with one sexual comment from me. God, the things you made me feel with your eyes. I am completely and utterly enamored by you. You have always had that effect on me, but I think you already knew that.
Other than my mom, you were the only constant in my life, Pipes. I wanted to be truthful to you, from the start and I think that was the one thing we got right. My mother always told me that you would be the one I would spend my life with and she also kindly let me know I was a dumbass for letting you slip through my fingers. I agree with her whole heartedly. Other than her, you are the only person I ever cared for. I know my track record is shit, but I really do love you. It was selfish of me to choose the cartel over you, and I lived with that regret every day of my life. You are the love of my life and I am sorry I didn't realize that in time. I enjoyed the money, adrenaline and power, but I enjoyed your love and company even more.
I planned on ripping this letter up as soon as my surgery is over, but if you are reading this, it means I didn't get the chance. I apologize for leaving you alone in this world and I don't think I have the words to make you feel better, but I am really trying. Piper, I don't care what happened in the operating room; just know that it was not your fault. I know you did everything in your power to save me and I don't want you to live with guilt on your shoulders. You are a great doctor, like really fucking brilliant; please never doubt that.
Not to beat a dead horse kid, but this is my final chance to explain myself. When you left me, I couldn't breathe properly for months. I spent years trying to move on, but no one compared to you. I never loved another. I drowned myself in my sorrows and started using to feel numbness. But your hold on me was indescribable. The heroin didn't penetrate through the pain of losing you.

My last request to you is that you don't live your life the way I have. There will be pain and sorrow, it's inevitable. Just don't stay in that place for too long, it will only eat you up. The only memories that involve eating should be of me eating you and you screaming my name... very loudly and breathlessly. ;) I want you to be able live your life and not feel remorseful about trying to move on.
When were together in the beginning, I named you as my beneficiary. Although we were separated, I never changed that because you were the only person I trusted besides my mother whom I am with now. Even in death you have all of me, you always have. In my Will there are instructions to give Nichols various things, but the rest is yours. Everything I've done has always been for you; please do as you wish with our belongings. When you get the time, I need you to go to my mom's house. The closet in my room contains all our memories, the books I read to you, our pictures, and the gifts you gave me and our worldly treasures. I could never bring myself to get rid of you completely. Most importantly, there is a box on the top self that contains one of my most valuable possessions. It isn't worth much, but it's been in my family for years and I need you to have it. I hoped that I would personally be giving you my family's ring, but this will have to do. The ring was always meant for you. You always had my heart, kid. I never stopped loving you and would dream about running into you, reconnecting, and asking you to be my wife. I know I said I wasn't one to nest, but I would have dreams of us with 2 children, one with black hair and your beautiful blue eyes, and the other with blonde hair and my green eyes, running around Central Park while I read a book to you with your head in my lap. I would wake from these dreams with tears in my eyes knowing and remembering I fucked everything up. Forgive me for not making you feel like I loved you at every moment of the day. Forgive me for not choosing you. Forgive me for dying. You are the love of my life; please forgive me for leaving yours.

When you miss me, just re read these last lines. It is the most truthful thing I have ever said in my entire life. Do not fret; we will be together again someday, until then, my sweet Pipes, be happy. I will wait for you, where ever that may be. In dreams or an afterlife, I will be there, waiting to be with you again. Think of the stories we'll have.

I love you Piper Chapman. Please forgive me for all my mistakes, and remember I heart you. I always have and I always will.
- Inevitably yours, Alex

Piper sobbed softly, clutching the letter to her chest. She couldn't control her tears; they spilled out, onto the paper and were unstoppable…

She thought back to the surgery room and played the memory in her head for the hundredth time before falling asleep in the chair. Her eyes were red and sore, they stung when she closed them but sleep crept on her brain slowly.

Flashback:

"Don't you fucking leave me Alex!" Piper screamed, staring at the screen with wide, panicked eyes. Her bloody hands shook violently, holding the two white paddles. "DON'T YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME!"

Piper felt her heart starting to tear apart, none of the staff said a word, not wanting to push the hysterical doctor further.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- ….Beep…..Beep….Beep.

Piper's eyes widen. She exhaled deeply; her chest felt like an elephant had been lifted off of her. She sank her head down, and began to sob. Morello moved to her side and removed the white paddles from her hands. Piper couldn't move, she broke down and was paralyzed.

Morello motioned for a nurse to stitch Alex back up while she tried to comfort the doctor.

"Were back up to 75 BPM" Bennett called out in a relieved tone. "She's stable."

Lorna nodded and pulled Piper away from Alex. The medical staff were wide eyed with the doctor's lack of composure. None of them spoke about the sudden outbreak of emotion, but they silently agreed that Piper must have had a connection with the patient.

She pushed her gently through the doors and took off the doctors bloody gloves before disposing of both. She reached to remove the mask which was soaked with Piper's tears. She couldn't stop the well of tears pouring down her face.

"Shhh, it's okay Piper, she made it!" Lorna pulled the doctor into an embrace and rubbed circles into her back softly.

Piper leaned into her and tried to stop the sobs rippling from her chest.

"I-I I almost lost her…" Piper managed to choke out.

"But you didn't, she pulled through, it's going to be alright now."

Piper watched through the window as the doctors removed the medical supplies and prepared to move Alex back to the hospital bed. They tried to wake her up from the anesthesia but Alex's heart rate started to lower again.

Piper ran back into the operating room.

"Let's keep her under and let her body heal a little longer before we wake her up." She called out.

The anesthesiologist entered more liquid into her IV and Alex's heart rate began to steady again. Piper stared at the brunette for a moment, letting herself calm down before she picked the pieces of her shattered heart off the floor.

Piper was jolted away by the touch of someone else.

"Hey Chapman, wake up!" Nicky called out, shaking her shoulder vigourously.

Piper opened her eyes disoriented. She blinked a few times before focusing on the wild haired woman before her.

"Hey, when is the last time you ate? Come on, let me buy you some food"

Piper started to protest, shaking her head.

"It will only be a few minutes, you will go crazy if you stay locked in this room all night and day, I know you have missed the last couple meals, so let's go, Vause wouldn't want this…"

Piper frowned before slowly rising from her chair. She stretched her muscles, moaning at the pleasure. Nicky cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

"Was that an orgasm Chapman?" She chuckled. Piper stuck her middle finger up and smiled.

Piper moved to Alex's bed side and kissed her cheek softly. She placed one hand on the brunette's cheek and caressed it softly.

"I'll be back soon baby, I love you" she kissed Alex's lips quickly and turned to leave. Nicky stared at her unconscious best friend, trying to keep her face composed. She hated to see Alex like that, but she knew she had to be strong for Piper's sake.

They walked to the cafeteria together. Nicky made a few sexual comments which made Piper blush. For the first time in days, Piper felt semi-normal. They were almost done eating when Piper's hospital pager went off. She jolted to her feet and ran from Nicky, towards the elevators.

"Chapman!" Nicky cried out, frowning at the sudden disruption.

"IT'S ALEX!" Piper screamed back, not slowing her pace. She debated taking the elevator but decided the stairs would be faster. She felt her legs burn as she sprinted up the three floors, her heart beat quickened as she reached the brunette's room.