February 2013
Sometimes the Universe finally gives you've always wanted and it's all up to you what you do when you get it or how you decide to feel about it. We can get so caught up in how we won't be satisfied until we get what we want but according to Socrates that's not the case. Maybe most of us already have what we want but we were so immersed in the feeling of dissatisfaction that it lingers into our subconscious and prevents us from enjoying the thing we've always wanted when it finally happens to us … that's my theory.
I realized that when I woke up this morning at around 4 a.m. feeling a heavy wave of loneliness wash over me. There I was, all alone when the one person who could fill that emptiness that I was causing to myself always jumped at every opportunity to be around me. And if I didn't get my head out of the clouds I'll probably end up forever alone.
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February 2014
Arnold never expected he'd see her again after high school. But there she was, standing in front of him at the baked goods aisle at the department store, her bright red hair was cut into a short bob. She wore a black blouse and black pants and had on really dark sunglasses, like she was hiding something.
"Arnold! It's really you." Lila smiled still not taking off her sunglasses.
"Lila, I barely recognized you!" Arnold said.
"I didn't have any trouble recognizing you." Lila giggled. "You live nearby?"
"Ya, my place is five blocks away. You?"
"Two blocks away, I just moved here a couple of weeks back."
"I guess that explains why I haven't run into you before."
"I take it you frequently shop here."
"They got the best produce." Arnold explained showing his shopping cart which had some fresh looking vegetables.
Lila chuckled, "I agree. So how are things on your end? You're married?" she asked.
"I was engaged once … just didn't work out." Arnold shrugged.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Arnold couldn't tell half her facial expression due her sunglasses. But her mouth frowned a bit. Her lips seemed dry and he noticed it start to bleed.
"Lila your lower lip, it's bleeding."
"Oh!" Lila immediately grabbed a crumpled tissue from her bag and dabbed it on her bleeding lip. "I have this cut on my lower lip that I thought healed already but … " She tried to smile a bit. "Which reminds me, I need chap-stick. I almost forgot I was all out. You know, we should hang out sometime, see what we've been up to all these years."
"Sure. Uh- why don't you take my number? Give me a missed call so I can save yours."
Lila smiled as she took out her phone and typed in Arnold's number.
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February 2006
"Hey Tim." Jordan greeted Timberly by her locker.
"Hey Jor." Timberly quipped with a smirk.
"What are you doing tonight?" He asked looking a little serious than earlier.
"Uh, maybe homework …. Why?"
"Wanna do it together?" Jordan looked at her dead in the eye.
"What?"
Before she knew it he grabbed by her arms and planted a kiss on her lips. Causing her to wake with a start and find herself that morning in her bed.
"Whoa." Timberly gave out a sigh of relief being thankful it was only a dream.
By the time she got to school, Timberly had already forgotten about the weird dream she's had that morning.
"Wow look at all the Valentine's decorations up in here." Kim noted at the fully decorated hallways of their school. "You got asked to the dance yet Timberly?"
"Nope." Timberly shook her as she put in the combination to her locker.
"Jordan never asked you?" Kim asked surprised.
"What?" Timberly turned to her friend.
"You two are always together." Kim replied.
"So? He's just a friend." Timberly said tuning back to her locker to get her books out. A funny feeling brewed in the pit of her stomach.
"Hey girls, what's up?" Leah came over to where her two friends were standing.
"She doesn't have a date to the dance next week." Kim answered tilting her head towards Timberly.
"What? Jordan didn't ask you yet?" Leah furrowed her dark eyebrows at Timberly.
"Ok!" Timberly snapped closing her locker door loudly. "What is going on?" she asked crossing her arms over books.
"We just thought you and Jordan were you know … together?" Leah told her.
"You are my closest friends, you think I wouldn't tell you if that were the case?"
"Ya but Timberly, you see, we thought we'd give you some space and time to be more clear about your feelings." Kim explained as they started walking to their classes.
"It's just so weird … "Timberly told them. "This morning I had this strange dream- about him."
Kim and Leah shrieked and begged her to tell them about it but were interrupted by the bell.
"Saved by the bell." Timberly grinned. "I'll see you girls at lunch."
.
Valentine's Day always seemed overrated to me even before I dated Arnold. When I was younger, every Valentine's, I'd dream of what it would be like when Arnold and I were finally together as a couple: romantic dates, valentine's day cards in my locker, flowers, large bar of chocolate or heart shaped candy, stuffed animals … all the cheesy lovey-dovey stuff.
But every year I notice that this holiday is more about buying overpriced themed items to prove their love to each other … which in reality is them showing off to the world how cute they are.
Arnold doesn't seem to mind it, in fact, I think he really enjoys V-day so I go with the flow. After all, I already have what I always wanted.
The Valentine's Day dance next week was all the girls ever talked about during lunch.
"Could we talk about something else already?" I huffed in exasperation.
"No we can't Helga, the dance is next week and we need to prepare." Rhonda said.
"Ya stop being a killjoy Helga." Nadine retorted.
I just rolled my eyes at them and grabbed my soda can placing my finger on the ring and pulled it open.
"Is it that time of the month Helga?" Sheena asked concernedly.
"Sheena, I'm eating here. And no." I replied.
"Helga's like that every day." Rhonda joked and laughed with the rest of the girls on my account.
Over at the boys' table:
"Jeez Rhonda won't stop talking about the dance!" Sid sighed "I mean I love being able to celebrate V-Day with her, it's just, why complicate it with so much darn planning?"
"I feel you man," Gerald agreed with him. "I don't understand why complicate something as simple as dressing up and going to the dance and have a good time?"
"You know who's got it easy? Arnold." Harold pointed his thumb at the blonde boy sitting on his right. "I doubt Helga cares about any of this girl stuff."
"Watch out Arnold, halfway into freshman year at college and she'll want to break up with you because she changed interests." Curly air-quoted the last word.
The other guys laughed and Arnold just rolled his eyes at them.
"Helga's pretty cool about this stuff. She sees through it all, all she wants to do is be herself and just have a good time with me."
" … Regina wants me to pick her up in a limo wearing a fancy suit and holding a bouquet of Red roses." Stinky told them his tone full of defeat. "I can barely afford the suit let alone the limo, I don't know what to do." He sighed as Sid gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.
"That ain't right." Gerald said shaking his head.
"Break up with her." Curly coolly advised as he took a bite of his sandwich.
"Break up a few days before valentine's day, that's a great idea Curly." Harold sarcastically told him. "Regina won't let it go easy."
"I agree with Curly," Lorenzo chimed in. "I have observed Stinky being nothing other than a gentleman towards Regina but she has failed to see his love for her and just parades around with him using him as an arm candy. A man is not simply a bank account to buy his woman material things."
"It's ironic that you should say that." Harold said.
"I agree with Lorenzo," Arnold sided with Lorenzo. "Stinky, you were an awesome boyfriend to Regina but she's been taking you for granted. I say let her go, you deserve better."
"Ya Stinky, we got your back. Don't worry about it." Sid encouraged him.
"Thanks guys, I agree with you all of y'all. I'll walk to up to her right now and break it up with her." Stinky announced standing up from his seat but was quickly pulled back down by his friends.
"After school." Sid advised.
"Gotcha." Stinky nodded.
.
Timberly opened up the folded note in her hand to read its contents for the fifth time as she waited for him in the empty hallway by his locker.
Jordan had given her this note during the second period in class, what was written on it made her heart skip a beat every time she read it.
'Meet me by my locker at lunch'
Could it be that her dream actually meant something? That Jordan wanted her more than just as a friend? Just yesterday she never thought of him that way and then everything changed this morning!
So many questions raced through her mind: Was him being one of her closest friends actually a plan to get closer to her? Was his loyalty towards her all out of love? Was he going to ask her to the dance next week?
"Sorry I'm late." Jordan woke her from her thoughts as he stood closer to her looking around cautiously.
"It's uh … it's fine." Timberly tried to keep her composure. The suspense was killing her!
"I need to tell you something, I'm not sure how to say it." Jordan shifted nervously.
"What is it Jordan?" Timberly placed her hand over his arm to keep him still.
Jordan finally faced her, took a deep breath as he pursed his lips and smiled before finally spilling the beans.
"I wanna ask Kylie to the dance."
.
"What?!" Leah and Kim exclaimed in unison. The three had an emergency meeting after school at her place.
"I never felt so humiliated in my life!" Timberly groaned digging her face in her pillow.
"Aww Timmy it's not your fault." Leah assured her as she gave her a hug.
"Ya, we're sorry we put that idea in your head." Kim apologized.
"It's that stupid dream. Gosh! Why can't dreams just mean what they're supposed to mean?"
A few seconds of silence were interrupted by Leah asking, "Why Kylie?"
"Because she's hot." Timberly sourly replied.
"Na-unh," Kim shook her head at Timberly "She ain't hot, in fact, she ain't got nothing on you girl."
"Ya, you're ten times the girl Kylie is."
As much as Timberly wished that Jordan would see Kylie the way her two best friends saw her, that little white lie was what she needed to feel a little better … for now.
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Author's Note: Timberly's situation was based on something I went through in high school. I had a guy best friend who everyone thought we were cute together and then I have this random dream about him that made me see him in a different light and BAM! He texts me one day telling me about this new girl he met. It still seems crazy to me almost ten years later.
LeDawn: They really are cute aren't they? And as much as I love them as a couple it just didn't sit too well with me for turning them to a couple. But maybe I might reconsider it …? You'll probably find out in later chapters ;)
SandraStrickland: That's the thing about Rhonda, she was originally a stuck up yuppie but all those years in public school and with the friends she has grounded her a bit. I love to imagine that if The Patakis show was ever made this was how Rhonda would be portrayed. She may seem untouchable but she really is a teenage girl with insecurities just like any other girl her age.
And thank you for enjoying my writing and I don't mind that you find my use of language learnable. I'm not a native speaker of English myself and I learned a lot from other writers, that's how it is.
