Confessions of the Five De Silva Girls

By: ChocolateEclar

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with the Mediator Series by Meg Cabot/Jenny Carroll, including Jesse (coughIt would be a great present…cough).

Claimer: I may not own the fact that Jesse has five sisters (ages 6-16 when he died), but I do own who the five girls are – i.e. their personalities and names. In short, I own Juanita "Nita" De Silva, Estefana De Silva, Felicidad "Felly" De Silva, Dolores "Dolly" De Silva, and most of all Carmen De Silva. I also own their parents, uncles (except Ricardo's name), aunts, and cousins' personas and names.

To UnangelicHalo & happydrummergal: Thanks for reviewing, guys.

A/N: Oh my God! I am in Advanced Geometry as a freshman, but I stink at math. I only just realized I had made a mistake with Dolly's birth year in chapter 2…NOW! Argh. I fixed it now though.

Chapter 12: Dolly's Diary – Numero Tres

2 de enero del año 1900 Mis 62nd Cumpleaños!

Querido Diario,

Today is my sixty-second birthday…and don't I feel old saying that! I have lived a full life though. I regret having less time with Jesse and my husband Alejandro than I had hoped, but I still have Carmen, Felly, and my children.

My daughter Alana is pregnant again. I'm not sure if I said that yet. As Carmen keeps remind me, my memory is fading. I'm lucky if I remember the birthday of my son Armando's daughter Dolores the II! I think she'll be marrying soon… Or was that my niece Julia's daughter Lucinda. Oh, I don't know anymore! Without Carmen and Felly I'd be lost.

Felly is still very sharp. She loves babysitting her grandchildren. She can catch them in a lie before one can blink. I miss Estefana and Nita though.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


9 de enero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Estefana would be sixty-four-years old today if she were still with us. Carmen, Felly, Estefana's widower Pedro, their children and grandchildren, and I went to rest flowers and paint supplies on her grave today.

I polished Estefana's little De Silva nameplate charm. It hangs from a hook inside the De Silva mausoleum. Beside it are the charms of Jesse, Nita, Mami, and Papi among generations of other De Silva.

Carmen was whispering to Jesse's ghost. I find it strange that he was never moved on, but I am partly glad. It's as if we have our own guardian angel.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


13 de febrero del año 1900

Querido Diario,

It has been many days since I last wrote, and much has occurred. One good thing is Carmen's fifty-sixth birthday. She is much more energetic than I these days. She also still has a husband though…unlike Felly and I. Felly did not much like her ex-husband Arturo anyway. I believe he died two years ago. He never remarried but had several mistresses over the years.

The bad news is I had to go to Doctor Tamson in Carmel for dizzy spells. He told me to drink more fluids. I feel much better, but I feel my time is drawing near. Now both and Felly and I are living with Carmen and William. It's an odd arrangement. William is only fifty and doesn't look very aged except for his white hair. It makes me miss my Alejandro.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


29 de febrero del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Today my granddaughter Daniella was wed. The party was very amusing, considering EVERY De Silva and Daniella's husband's family member were invited.

So that meant Maria and Diego were there. Old bats. Maria has aged gracefully. I expected her to look like a withered old grape, but, alas, one cannot have all their wishes. She is still a great prude. Carmen said nasty things to her face about being "a murderer in silk and lace."

That's my dear hermanita.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


18 de marzo del año 1900

Querido Diario,

It was back to the mausoleum and cemetery a few hours ago. It feels like I do that more and more as I age. Nita would have been sixty-six if she had not died in child birth all those years ago. It always amazes me knowing she died at the age of fourty-three! But, by then, she and Owen had had twelve successful childbirths. The thirteenth was not so lucky. Neither mother nor child survived.

I remember the funeral like it was yesterday, so I suppose I atleast don't have long-term memory loss. On that day, Carmen – only thirty-three – said, "Nita would not have wanted to die this way. No, she would have wanted to die doing something more daring than continuing the "big family" tradition we have, such as riding a bronco or swimming across the Rio Grande. Instead, we stand here in mourning over the unsurpassed, most beautiful, intelligent De Silva girl. And that is only half of her accomplishments."

Dios, Carmen has a way with words. I remember Felly breaking down then. I had been weeping for a long time, but I cried out and buried my face in my hands. Estefana was wringing her hands and letting out little whimpers through her tears. Even Carmen could not continue her speech for several moments, sobbing into William's chest as he stroked her hair.

Then, she persevered.

"When Owen asked me to do this speech," she said, letting her tears fall freely, "I was skeptical. I'll admit I hate public speaking. It scares me to death, but I love Nita, and it tears me up inside knowing two of my siblings are gone now. I pray that Nita will be at peace though, and I hope she knows how much we're going to miss her down here.

"Oh, and she'd better put a good word in for us up there," Carmen said, smiling through her tears. Then, she bowed and whispered, "Thank you."

I will never forget that.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


28 de marzo del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Dios, Pedro showed Carmen, Felly, and I the most beautiful painting Estefana has ever done. He found it not quite finished and hidden in the back of Estefana's old messy art room.

It shows the four sisters – Carmen, Felly, Estefana, and I – with two young angels hovering above our heads in the clear blue sky. One is Nita. The other is Jesse. We're all smiling with our charms glinting around our necks.

I love it! Estefana never showed it to us and never asked us to pose, but it is perfectly life-like from about the time Estefana died five years ago. It must've been her final masterpiece, concealed under a canvas sheet to protect it.

It's gorgeous.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


5 de abril del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Pedro hung up Estefana's last artwork above his mantel – a place of honor for an amazing piece of beauty.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


16 de abril del año 1900

Querido Diario,

These days I do not write as much as I used to. It's amazing enough that I write at all considering I've been keeping diaries since I was six! I'm just too tired lately to do much of anything. This year marks fifty years since Jesse died. I'm so weary, but Felly, Carmen, and I are planning a De Silva (minus Maria and her family) gathering in Jesse's honor. I believe his ghost will be attending. A very strange thing indeed.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


3 de mayo del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Last week, oh God! Pedro died right in front of Carmen, Felly, and I! It was horrible. He just went rigid and keeled over! I thought I might have collapsed myself. The next thing Felly and I knew, Carmen was talking calmly with Pedro's ghost over our forgotten coffee and cakes.

Sometimes it is very odd having a spirit shaman sister.

May Pedro's soul rest in peace.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


8 de junio del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Our hermano would have been seventy today. Dios, he would have been seventy!

Why? Why did Jesse have to die at age twenty? Why? WHY?

Tu amiga,

Dolly


9 de junio del año 1900

Querido Diario,

I CANNOT STAND THIS!!!!!

If I am struck down for saying this, then I do not care!

Dios, why did you take Jesse, Nita, Estefana, and my Alejandro away????

Tu amiga,

Dolly


14 de junio del año 1900

Querido Diario,

I am too tired for such heat. Is this my punishment for speaking out?

Dolly


2 de julio del año 1900

Querido Diario,

De Silvas gathered at Carmen, William, Felly, and my residence today! It was a depressing reason to assemble, but Jesse was dear to all…but Maria and Diego. They were not invited though, so it matters not.

Part of the time was spent in the cemetery polishing charms and praying over gravestones. Then, we went to the house and ate together. The old and young supped as one.

The eldest there was Felly. All our cousins were either younger or not invited or deceased. Felly took it upon herself to sit at the head of the table and talk with everyone atleast once that evening.

I will never forget those moments together.

Tu amiga,

Dolores


5 de septiembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Alana gave birth to her seventh child today – a bouncy baby boy named after my Alejandro. I love being a grandmother.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


13 de septiembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Felly became sixty-three today. She has been talking less and less these days. She only speaks with her daughter Ana, Carmen, and I and then very little. I fear her mind is finally going.

It seems strange that three old ladies and a fifty-year-old man are living under one roof speaking about our youth and our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. I remember the days when we all used to run around in the fields surrounding the old ranch.

Those days are gone. I fear we are all dying. Then, what will become with my over seventy collection of diaries from when I was six until now?

I still read the first diary sometimes and compare. Here are the first words I ever wrote in a diary:

6 de enero del año 1844

Querido Diario,

Abuela gave me this diary today for Three Kings Day. She says I should start out by writing about my family, so I will.

Dios, that feels so long ago.

It is long ago though, so that's to be expected.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


20 de septiembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Carmen says I look pale and sickly. Do I? I think everything's turning gray these days.

Tu amiga,

Dolores


30 de septiembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

I went to see Doctor Tamson. He told me I'm doing well for my age. I don't look anywhere near as spry as Carmen though, and that has nothing to do with her being six years younger.

I think I'm dying. I don't care so much anymore. I'm ready.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


16 de noviembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

I couldn't get out of bed this morning. It wasn't that I didn't want to. It was just… I couldn't. Carmen fretted over me, while Felly made me snacks and brushed my hair.

William brought me my diary from downstairs. I had left it down there and forgotten about it.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


19 de noviembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Doctor Tamson made a house call today. He whispered to Carmen and Felly a lot.

I know what he knows though.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


20 de noviembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Doctor Tamson stayed the night in the spare bedroom next door. My vision is very hazy today. Carmen and Felly sat on either side of me in my bed and held my hand…

...like I was on my deathbed.

I am.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


21 de noviembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

Carmen offered to write for me, but I must keep writing. I believe that is the only thing keeping me alive. She promised to keep my diaries safe forever. I believe her.

Felly just looks at me and talks occasionally with tears in her eyes. Carmen stays strong when she is with me, but at night I can hear her frightened whispers with William. I can hear her say my name all too often.

Doctor Tamson barely comes into my room, but I know he is still in the house…waiting.

We are all waiting.

Tu amiga,

Dolly


22 de noviembre del año 1900

Querido Diario,

My hand is shaking as I write this, but write it I must.

Dios, let Carmen, Felly, and William know I love them. I know I haven't told them enough. I don't mind joining Estefana and Nita and Papi and Alejandro.

I hope I ca


Dolores Josefina De Silva Ramón

Fourth Daughter of Fernando & Jacinda De Silva,

Wife of Alejandro Ramón,

Mother of Armando & Alana,

And beloved sister of Hector, Juanita, Estefana, Felicidad, & Carmen

January 2, 1838 - Nov. 22, 1900

We pray there are diaries, ink, and quills in Heaven.

Our Dolly


A/N: Well, that was an even more depressing ending than the last! All the characters are old and dying! People just didn't live very long back then… More tearjerkers coming up… Next chapter: Felly's Files – Numero Tres!