Chapter 12: Confusion
I walked down the school corridor towards my maths class. It was the furthest away class I had so it was taking me a little while. When I finally came into view of the corridor I was met with a surprise.
There he was, sat on the floor like he hadn't gone missing at all. There he was, staring at the wall like I wasn't there. There he was, he was definitely back! My heart sped up after it restarted from the shock of seeing him. I knew he would be back, I just hadn't processed that he would be back, sat like he had never been gone.
I noticed, I really, truly noticed how much I had missed him, a person I had only known for a week who I didn't even properly know yet. I couldn't understand how I felt the way I did when I saw him. I didn't know him, I still didn't properly know what he was involved in with Stella and Frank and the base. How could I love him so much? How could I miss him so much? How could I feel the urge to run up to him, crying from the fact that until then, I hadn't really, truly, properly processed that I might never see him again? For the first time in my life, I felt so very confused and alone. I had no one to talk to about him. I had no one to help me understand.
It was as I was debating this that Tom looked up at me and did a double take as he noticed that I was there. Or, more importantly, that I was stood still, looking at him almost sadly. Tom stood up with a smile on his face and I realized I was crying. As he walked faster towards me, his smile disappeared and he almost looked worried?
"Jess? Are… are you okay?" he asked hesitantly his hand reaching up to me.
"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine… just a little bit upset but other than that I am completely and irrevocably fine," I cried whilst hastily walking towards the classroom. Tom followed behind me.
"Are you sure? You look a little… you're crying?" Tom asked awkwardly. He obviously wasn't used to seeing random people burst into tears around him. Thankfully, I had calmed down a little and was crying quietly by the time I sat on the floor outside the classroom.
"Yes I am. I'm probably just ill. How have you been? You weren't at school on Friday," I said casually as the tears died down, almost as abruptly as they came.
"Well," Tom started as he sat down next to me, "On Friday I was… also ill like you are now so I should be apologising to you for infecting you with whatever disease I had on Thursday. Diseases can be transmitted before symptoms appear in the original person so…"
We sat quietly before I decided to say something.
"At least you didn't die, for some reason I thought something awful had happened to you and I was kind of a little bit worried," I said quietly, trying as hard as I could to say I missed him without sounding like the insane lunatic I was. Tom looked away from me. He looked upset, perhaps a little angry. I tapped him on the shoulder taking him out of the trance he was in. When he looked back at me, his big, sarcastic smile had reappeared but he looked almost nervous.
"I'm glad I didn't die too. But, while I was ill, I wondered if I would die and I thought," he paused as if he was reconsidering what he was going to say before he shook it off and carried on, "There is a new film coming out, tomorrow, and I was going to go and see it on my own but I would like to ask if you would like to come see it with me?"
I tilted my head slightly to the right as a small smile came across my face. He looked at me very awkwardly as if he was scared I would say no. For the first time since I had met him, he seemed fragile, as if he could break at any moment.
"What kind of film is it?" I asked him, even thought I knew what my answer would be no matter what he said.
"There is a book and game that has been turned into a film. It's called Blade Quest, you've probably never heard of it," Tom said while my eyes widened.
"You play Blade Quest!" I asked him.
"Yeah, you don't have to laugh at me for it," he said, obviously hurt by my tone of voice, "I know it's not as popular as it used to be and is quite nerdy but-" I stopped him by putting my hand over his lips.
"I wasn't laughing at you for it. I play Blade Quest too. In fact, it is my favourite game," I said calmly.
"Really? Have you read the books?" he asked, his voice muffled as my hand was still covering his mouth.
"Yeah, all thirty of them!" I nodded enthusiastically. I took my hand away from his face and immediately regretted it. The contact was nice.
"So… Do you want to come see the film with me?" he asked again.
"Of course! Why wouldn't I want to come?" I laughed.
"Well, you might not want to come with me if you were going with family or friends or… your boyfriend to see it," Tom said casually. I looked at him with a faint smile tugging at my lips.
"My family wouldn't like Blade Quest, you are my only friend and I don't have a boyfriend," I replied, trying to ignore the small smile he adopted after I told him that I was boyfriendless.
He went on to talk about his favourite Blade Quest book and his Blade Quest avatar and I listened. However, while he was talking very eagerly, I was looking at his lips and I thought about how nice they were and how they moved when he spoke and how pleasant it would be to kiss him if he tried to kiss me…
My thoughts were gratefully interrupted when the bell rang. I woke from my trance and stood up, heading into the classroom after Tom. I sat next to him but he didn't stay for long. Almost the second we entered the classroom, Tom's pencil flashed red and he left, dragging his friends, who entered the room after me, with him.
When I got to PE, my second lesson, I found that Tom's friends Keri and Aneisha were there, a rarity as they were usually off doing something in the base. That wasn't the only strange thing. There was a group of women I had never seen before stood in a corner talking to Mrs King, the deputy head teacher. The women seemed to be nodding along with everything that Mrs King was saying.
Keri and Aneisha were looking around at the girls in the PE class, laughing and nodding, pointing at one girl before pointing at a woman in the corner of the room. I looked away as they pointed at me. I saw the woman they pointed at after me. She had short black hair tied up in a bun and looked very serious. She looked a lot like my mum, who looked nothing like me. I noticed some movement in Mrs King's corner of the room and looked up properly. The women, along with Mrs King, were walking over to my class.
"Right, class, today we decided to do something interesting in our lesson," Mrs King started, "We were offered a chance to participate in a self-defence class, provided free!"
All of a sudden, the class all started to whisper. I could hear people complaining while others boasted about how easy it would be for them. Mrs King gestured for the women to move forward.
"These women are highly trained in… self-defence and are the perfect people to teach you all how to protect yourself against anyone who may attack you outside of school," Mrs King explained as the women grabbed a girl and took them over to a separate area of the room. The woman I had seen earlier came over to me and took me to the nearest corner.
"I will get out of your way so that you can learn from the best," Mrs King began to walk out of the room before adding, "The boys are doing the same thing as you in the other room."
The woman with black hair looked at me slightly disdainfully as she pushed me to stand on the middle of the mat on the floor.
"This is so that when – I mean if you fall, you don't break your pretty little self," she said as she brought up her fists towards her face.
"Isn't it a little dangerous to start now before you've taught me anything? For all you know, I could be so bad that you kill me with one hit," I said carefully, the woman still stood in fighting position.
"Well, you'll just have to be good then," she said before luging towards me. I ducked to the left at the last second and she went flying into the wall. She turned around with a smile on her face as she saw me raise my fists up and bend my knees slightly.
"I never said I was actually that bad, you know," I said to her with a smile. Slowly, she walked back onto the mat, mimicking the way I stood.
"We still don't know if you aren't yet. You could just be lucky," the woman replied swiftly raising her leg to hit me in the gut. I twisted to the side, grabbing her leg and pulling, causing her to fall. Just before she hit the ground, she flipped backwards, narrowly missing my face. We both stood face to face before I sprang at her. She could see it coming and went to hit me, her fingers splayed. She was so predictable!
Before her hand made contact with my face, I ducked and rolled across the floor underneath her, kicking out my leg as I came up behind her. I heard my foot as it pushed her forward and I heard her as she turned to face my back. I also heard her as she jumped at me, so I turned with my leg in the air. She knew what I was going to do and pulled my leg like I had done to her earlier. I fell onto the ground face first. I winced as I felt all the air rush out of me.
As I turned onto my back, I watched as the woman turned her back to me and signalled something across the room. Silently, I got to my feet. The woman didn't notice I had moved. I didn't want to hurt her. I just wanted to show her what I could do. I wanted to show her that I could protect myself as that was the point of the lesson, wasn't it?
I hit the back of her leg at a point that I knew would cause a reaction. She doubled over and slipped onto the floor. I had managed to surprise her.
"My name's Jess, what's yours?" I asked in a friendly tone. The woman turned and looked at me with an odd mix of scepticism and happiness.
"Angie," she said, her tone of voice softening. She reached out to me, asking me to help her up. I frowned.
"If I help you up, you could pull me down. That would be silly of me in a self-defence class, wouldn't it" I said as sweetly as possible. Angie's smile widened as she got herself up. She sat down on the nearest bench and asked me to sit down. I looked at her doubtfully.
"Look, I'm tired. Just sit down," Angie said. I sat next to her slowly. I wouldn't let her surprise me. We sat in silence for a minute before she asked me a question.
"Where did you learn all that?"
"I used to take karate and my mum taught me self-defence. She used to take classes before I was born and she just loves protecting me," I answered. Angie looked at me with a smile.
"It's nice to be able to be protected," she said with a little sigh.
"I'm sorry," I said. She looked at me questioningly.
"Why are you sorry? What have you done?" Angie asked with a slight frown.
"I didn't let you teach me anything," I replied as we looked at each other. She laughed and I tilted my head.
"It's not your fault that you're too good for me," Angie laughed. I looked around me at everyone in the room. No-one was doing very well and kept falling over or tripping over.
"Wow. These lot are terrible!" Angie exclaimed as she pointed at the girls who fell over. I stared at her before she asked me what the matter was.
"Why are we really having this lesson?" I asked her. She looked at me with a surprised expression before she smiled again.
"Yes. You will be perfect," she said with a big smile. Before I could ask her what she meant, she got up and walked away. I leant back and sighed. I noticed that Keri and Aneisha were looking at me closely. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable with them looking at me.
Everything was so very confusing…
