Mustang looked like he'd recently been on bad terms with the wrong end of a meat grinder, and Townsend couldn't hide a smirk despite his predicament.

"Making friends as usual, I presume?"

"Losing them, actually," Hughes grinned. "You just can't keep yourself out of jail, can you, Marc?"

"Doesn't seem like it," the man shrugged. He looked remarkably calm for a man charged with seven counts of murder. "I just keep in mind the morals of the people imprisoning me, and it all makes sense. Speaking of which, how have you been?"

"Life's been wonderful," Hughes gushed, oblivious to the insult.

Roy was glad he had good relations with the prison officials, as Hughes spent the next half hour of their visitation blinding Townsend with various images of one adorable Elysia Hughes.

Townsend looked at Roy in growing terror, and Roy smirked to the best of his ability with a split lip. He had discovered potential leverage.

To the accute irritation of Hughes, Roy gently shuffled the photographs into order and handed them back to the proud father. "I'm fairly certain you haven't killed anyone, Townsend. I'd just like to hear it from your own lips, please."

"I didn't kill anyone," Townsend said simply. "I never have."

The alchemist rubbed his gradually swelling knuckles, but not to ease any discomfort. "I...didn't think so."

Townsend smiled easily. "Well, I'm glad that's settled."

"Not yet," Roy cleared his throat. "Call off your demonstration."

Townsend's smile refused to fade. "Nope."

"You can't very well lead it if you're not there," Roy pointed out in alarm.

"Oh, sure, and your men can't carry out your orders unless you're breathing down their necks."

"Are you just looking for company, Townsend," Roy spat, "because that's all this is going to achieve."

"Well," Townsend drawled, "maybe if a certain powerful, infamous alchemist were to denounce the military and switch sides, we'd have a little more leadership."

"Okay, that's enough of that," Hughes smiled uneasily. "You're depressing the man, Roy. He needs more Elysia."

"I don't think that's necessary," Townsend said.

"I do," Roy replied. "Proceed, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes."

"Visit's over!" Townsend called out to the guard.

The guard strolled over and looked at Roy. "Colonel?"

"Not quite yet, Private Hausse. How's the wife?"

The younger man grinned. "She's doin' pretty good since ya' got her that job with the florist. We're havin' a dinner party next week, an' the missus' says yer more than invited."

"I wouldn't dream of missing it," Roy looked humbled. "Thank you, Private."

The man nodded and shot a pointed look at Townsend. "This guy saved my life in Ishval. There's lots of us willin' to repay the favor, whatever you civilians think of him."

"Thank you, Private," Roy said quietly, "but Townsend's a good man. I'd appreciate it if you took good care of him."

"Yes, sir," the private saluted and returned to his post.

Roy returned the salute and focused his attention back on Townsend. "Where we we?"

"Elysia's first play date with the Reed's little girl. She had chocolate all over her face, lookhowcutesheis!!!"

"Very cute," Roy supplied obediently.

Townsend barely glanced at the pictures as he studied Roy. "I thought you were entertaining delusions of grandeur, but you really intend to do this, don't you?"

"Who else could?" Roy asked, his voice bereft of the inherent arrogance of that particular rhetorical question.

"My god," Townsend sighed.

"See?" Roy said quietly. "You've got a lifetime of protest opportunities available."

Townsend chewed it over, and shook his head. "Even if I thought you were right, which I don't, I couldn't call them off now."

"Don't make me do this," Roy pleaded.

"We'll both do what we have to do," Townsend replied, "and perhaps we'll balance each other."

"Fine," Roy conceded. "Hughes, I've got to take care of something. Please entertain our friend."

"With pleasure," Hughes waved as the guard let Roy out of the visitation room. "Now where were we?"


Havoc limped into the building in a haze of disbelief. He hadn't really punched the colonel in the face and gotten away with it. Well, he thought as he rubbed his aching ribs, he felt like he'd been hit by a truck, but he wasn't in jail yet. Maybe his luck wasn't as terrible as he'd thought.

"Just who the hell are you calling a bean on a plate waiting to be eaten by giants?" a boyish voice accused darkly.

"Huh?" He looked down. "Oh. Oh. Hey, Fullmetal Boss. What's up?"

"Did you think I wouldn't know," he growled dangerously. "Did you really believe I'd never discover this injustice?"

Unlike the colonel, Havoc doubted that the teenager had many reservations against using alchemy in a fight. He shuffled his feet nervously and used his best excuse, even though he wasn't quite certain what he'd done to anger the young man. "Um, it was the colonel's idea?"

"But you carried it-" Edward broke off. "What the hell happened to you? You just get back from the war in the south or something?"

"Something."

"Lieutenant! Are you all right?"

Havoc turned to salute the colonel. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry-"

"Nonsense," Colonel Breaker waved away his apology with an angry sneer. "Mustang had it coming, and then some...and then to fabricate that excuse to the general, just to avoid the repercussions of his actions...if any blame touches you, Lieutenant Havoc, please be assured that I will do everything in my power to see that his abuse of authority will not stand."

Ed looked interested.

"Thank you, sir," Havoc's lips split into a bloody, gruesome smile. Mustang had loosened a tooth or three, apparently.

"You're dismissed for the day, Lieutenant. Please get yourself checked out at the infirmary, and let me know if you need any more time off to recover."

Havoc thanked the man again, sincerely. Colonel Breaker wasn't quite the paragon of evil Mustang had built him into, he thought, and for the first time he felt a twinge of guilt for his role in potentially destroying the man's career.

Once the colonel had retreated back to his office, Havoc also turned to leave, and rammed his thoroughly bruised torso into a metal hand.

"Oof!" Havoc bent in pain as the alchemist made sense of this new information.

"Mustang did this to you?"

"I kinda had it coming," Havoc rued, "and he doesn't look any better, either."

Ed's eyes gleamed in sadistic pleasure. "You...you hit the colonel?"

Havoc just shrugged.

Edward enveloped the man in an awkward embrace, and Havoc winced in pain as automail bit into his side. "You ever need anything, you let me know."

"Uh. Okay?"

Ed stood back and examined Havoc with satisfaction. "How did it feel? Did he cry? Did you punch him in the stomach or the face? The face, right? He said something smug and you just-"

"Edward," Hawkeye called out from the hallway, "I need you in the office, please."

The alchemist frowned, but smiled at Havoc again. "See ya', Havoc."

"Yeah." Havoc looked at Riza, but she was already walking back to the office. "See ya', Boss."


The office had been quite productive without the colonel to distract everyone with his antics. Riza wondered if he had somehow sensed the mounting efficiency and had unconsciously arrived to upset it, just out of principle.

No one had been able to focus on their work after they had learned that the commotion outside had been caused by a certain colonel and their former comrade. Speculation rose to a fever pitch until she could take no more and had dismissed everyone early.

In retrospect, as she slaved over munitions supply forms from the last quarter, it hadn't been the most effective punishment, unless she had wanted to punish herself.

She inhaled deeply, and paused as she detected a whiff of smoke. Her lips thinned, and she turned around to confront her lover.

Mustang waved stiffly from the doorway.

Riza continued her work. "Have you done something I should be aware of, sir?"

"I don't think so,"he said.

"You rarely do."

He favored his right leg as he approached. "Where is everyone?"

"Their commander did something even more idiotic than usual, and they couldn't concentrate on their assignments."

Roy took some of the papers that sat in front of her and sat down at the desk nearby. He munched on some of Breda's chips as he quickly initialed the pages. "Speaking of which," he began, then hesitated.

Riza raised an eyebrow, but he didn't look up to catch her dexterous facial muscle display. "Yes?" she prompted.

"Ah, is there..." He shook his head. "You've had to put up with a lot, lieutenant. Would you let me make it up to you? Dinner, and I'll finish up my paperwork."

Riza considered his proposal as she reviewed the forms. He obviously had something to say that he didn't want to risk being overheard, and considering the whisper of smoke that tickled her nose...the information was probably quite essential.

On the other hand, he was being an idiot, and it would serve him right to have her just stand and leave him there to ruminate on the consequences of his actions.

She set her pen down with harsh click, and Roy looked like a child with his hunched shoulders. "Coffee," she snapped. "And you will finish all of your work."

"I already turned in my own report to the general," he informed her almost sulkily. "I even wrote it myself."

"Colonel..." she warned testily.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied quickly. "I'll behave."


Roy wasn't sure how he knew that flirting with the pretty waitress would upset Riza, but he refrained anyway, even when she slipped her number in the napkin beneath his mug.

It did not spare him a withering glare, but he suspected that he'd been working all day for that particular pleasure. He took a sip of his coffee for sustenance, and then, in an attempt to placate his angry lieutenant, he began to dutifully review a report.

"What do you want to tell me?"

"Mm?" He sipped some more coffee. It was good. He made a note to frequent the establishment in the future. "Oh. Yes, well. There are two things, actually."

"Well?"

"Do you promise you'll stay for both of them?" His good-natured smile faltered when she crossed her arms. "I...I just have visions of you leaving before I finish, and I can't really decide which one will make you less angry."

Riza just sighed.

"Okay. I, ah, delayed the protest for a few weeks."

"That's good." She knew better than to think that this would be good news. "How did you do that?"

"I might have committed arson," he muttered. "Several counts. Federal buildings."

"In the daytime."

He just shrugged.

If his face wasn't beginning to resemble a colorful bowl of mashed potatoes, Riza would have been sorely tempted to throw her chair at him.

"I've got an alibi," he said, finally, "and arson isn't suspected."

"Several federal buildings just randomly set fire at around the same time?"

"Must be the wiring," he said. "We'll need a complete overhaul of all public facilities, before anyone can be admitted."

"It wasn't worth the risk," she said, finally.

He didn't argue, but he clearly didn't agree with her analysis...which might have been the reason he'd avoided informing her of his little plan. "I'm sorry, lieutenant. There really wasn't an acceptable alternative. I tried."

"It's not my place to demand apologies from you, sir."

"You deserve them, in any case," he sighed. "Which brings me to my second point...more of a question, actually. Is there anything I should be aware of that might have happened last night that would cause Havoc to attack me?"

"Roy," she said, breaking formality, "did you know he was listening?"

"I... knew it was a possibility, at least. I wanted him occupied while you were at Madame Christmas to avoid a repeat of his antics, and then I figured that you were probably bugged if you were meeting with Townsend...and that Fuery was more than likely involved..."

"Do you remember what you said to me?"

"I meant it," he said. His eyes remained on his paperwork. "What I remember, anyway."

If there was ever a motto for the man, she thought, that was it. "And you made your little speech anyway," she pressed, "knowing full well how Havoc feels for me."

"Well." Roy cleared his throat. "I suppose when you frame the...situation...that way, Havoc's actions make considerably more sense."

"You suppose."

He looked uncomfortable. "Yes."

"I'm not excusing his actions," she continued. "He was an idiot. But you shouldn't have escalated the situation, especially not on military grounds."

"I know that."

She set some cens on the table and stood to leave. Roy stopped her with a gentle hand to her arm. "I have plans, Colonel."

He tucked her money back in her hand. "I'll speak with Havoc."

She left without a word, and he stared into his coffee glumly.

The perky brunette waitress kept him company as he finished his paperwork.