The kids always go insane. It's time we watch the teachers lose it.

Glynda

Glynda seemed like a very strict teacher who was just a little stuck up for her job. Truth of the matter was that she was the second most important person in the building, aside from Ozpin. Her semblance allowed her to fix almost any object as long as it wasn't too complicated and all the pieces were there. In a school full of people with erratic powers contained within teenagers, this power was needed a lot.

It was only a month into the school year, but she was already about to pull her hair out Just this morning she had fixed on bookshelf, one door-frame, a sink, and Ozpin's prized coffee mug. When she was reading the teacher's lounge, her one chance for a break, she was angered to find Ozpin standing there, waiting. When she noticed him, he spoke.

"Can you fix a wall?" He asked like it was a test.

"Which one?" She asked in a voice that sounded a little short of sane. Team RWBY's. Apparently the brawler had a nightmare and punched it.

"A nightmare?" She asked, smiling in a bad way. "I'll be right on it." She said, and laughed. Glynda never laughed. She stormed out of the room and left Ozpin holding his coffee mug with shaking hands. "Oh dear."


Glynda did not head to RWBY's dorm. She instead walked in what seemed like a calm way to the teacher supply closet. Inside she found tape, caulk, and a scraper. With these in hand, she made her way to the dorm. A few students in the hall gave her strange looks as somewhat deranged laughs escaped her.

She knocked on the door three times, hearing shuffling on the other side as someone made over to answer the door. A flash of blonde hair was all Glynda saw as Yang opened the door. "Good morning Miss Goodwitch. Uh, sorry about the wall." Glynda didn't answer at first as she walked in, nearly pushing Yang out of the way.

"Don't apologize to me. You're fixing it!" She just about threw the supplies into Yang's arms. The brawler stood there in stunned silence at Glynda's outburst. She was normally so quiet. "O-okay."

Glynda left the room with a slam of the door. Speed walking down the hall, everyone got out of her way. She was on a straight line for the training room. A teacher wasn't above letting off stress in a violent way. Just as she was about to enter, Ozpin came around the corner. "I trust it went well?" Glynda almost shook in anger at his calm attitude towards everything. "It went swell."

She said this as she grabbed the coffee mug out of his hands and crushed it. Then she entered the training room.

Oobleck

Being as fast paced as Oobleck was wasn't as easy as it looked. While he felt that he was going normal speed, the world snailed by. He noticed this when a not so bright student took a second to answer.

"So tell me Mr. Arc. Name one faunus trait having to do with the eyes." Jaune's words dragged on.

"Uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh, night vision?" While that one syllable dragged on, Oobleck's stare only intensified and he jerked upwards when he finally answered. "Thank you." He zipped across the classroom, alternating between coffee, whiteboard, and painfully slow students. For as fast as he was, one man could only have so much patience. One student was up at the chalkboard after being asked to draw a faunus appendage. Oobleck was watching and hoping that the student would speed up. Every single stroke of the chalk was so slow it felt as if it lasted years. Finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"Screw it." It was barely audible and the student at the board looked at him only to have his fingers pried open and the chalk taken from him before he could blink. 'You are much too slow."

He drew twelve different faunus appendages on different bodies across the board in just a few seconds. When he came back, he was talking so fast that almost nobody could understand him. "You-better-take-some-notes-on-this-because-it-will-be-on-the-test!"

Everyone shot for their notes, but thankfully he wrote it all down on the board in a few seconds. He took a few breaths and talked at normal speed.

"You have, ten seconds."

Port

Sure he caught Grimm all the time for his class instructions. It was in his job description. That didn't make Port's life any easier. He came to this conclusion while hunting for a few Beowolves to take back. The first few he tried to capture were being... difficult. They had to die. Besides, catching them was risky business. He was currently trailing one Beowolf that was more of a Grunt than anything else.

He had been following for about an hour and his patience was wearing thin. So much so that he didn't hear the other growls before he jumped out of the tree and pinned the wolf to the ground under his weight. "Haha! I have caught you." He was getting the rope when he looked up to see the rest of the pack, snarling and angry. Port was already done with the day, but this pushed him over the edge. He finished tying his wolf before standing up and looking the Alpha dead in the face.

"You better run, meat!" He snarled out. It wasn't often that someone scared a Grimm, but the Alpha took a step back. Dropping his signature BlunderAxe, he pulled a gold hilt out of his jacket. Out from it extended the golden blue blade that no one knew about. The details are too gruesome, but let's just say that the Alpha and his pack didn't get the chance to run. Covered in ichor, Port put away the hilt and put his other weapon on his back.

He gripped the still snarling and trapped Beowolf by the face and dragged it out of the forest. It kept keening out whines and growls that were starting to give Port a headache. "SHUT UP!"

Ozpin

Ozpin. Easily the most sane man in the building. Or so everyone thought. Ever since he had summoned that demon for extra coffee, he was put into an intervention and a strict no-coffee diet. Just a day in and he was already searching for a new drink to sate his need for caffeine. Then he found something called "Red Bull".

He was sitting calmly at his desk, on his twentieth can, when the door opened. "Excuse me Ozpin?" Ruby asked nervously.

"What, what what what whatwhatwhatwhatWHAT!" He said way too many times than he had meant to, slightly scaring Ruby. "Uh, Yang can't figure out how to fix the wall and, well. We're afraid to ask Glynda right now."

Ozpin's face went slack while his figure blurred around the edges as he shook. Faster than Ruby could see, he pulled a hammer out of his drawer and sped past her, yelling words she barely understood. "I'll show you how it's done!"

Ozpin was at the elevator in a few milliseconds and the breeze from his speed hit his own back. He pushed the elevator button a couple hundred times, broke it, fixed it, and opened another can of Red Bull before the doors opened. He stepped in and soon decided it was too slow. The emergency hatch was ripped from the hinges and Ozpin jumped out of it, falling from the tower elevator and down to the ground. His aura took the entire impact without a catch.

The problem was that with the emergency door opened, the elevator mechanism went limp and the metal room came crashing down. Ozpin stared up at it as it gained speed in his direction. Draining his can, he threw it to the side with enough force to blow a hole in the wall. He stuck his hands in the air and caught the elevator like a superhero.

"Get back up there." He threw the one-ton elevator back up and it hit the ceiling. Ozpin sped out of there before the debris could hit him. Inhumanely quickly he got to the school. He was going to take the stairwell up to the dorms when two voices caught his attention.

"Dude, it's possible"

"It is so, not possible." Ozpin was immediately sidetracked and found himself sitting in front of Sun and Neptune at a lunch table. "What isn't possible?"

"I'm just saying that if you were fast enough, you could go around the world and hit yourself in the back of the head." Neptune punched Sun's arm. "And I say it's not. What do you think?" Ozpin thought for a moment before gripping both of their arms and dragging them outside.

"What are we doing outside?" Sun asked, still in a daze from the sudden change in location. Ozpin pulled a Red Bull out of his pocket and drained it faster than gravity would allow. "Finding out of course." A sonic boom blasted as Sun and Neptune watched incredulously as a second Ozpin punched his after-image in the head and then promptly fell over from the hit. Neptune continued staring, but gave Sun twenty Lien.

Ironwood - In Atlas

ironwood was teaching one of the classes as a special volunteer thing. Everything was going well except for one student in the back of the room, muttering to himself.

"Son, you've got to speak up if I'm to hear you." He looked up upon being called out, seeming nervous. "I... do you know why a Raven is like a Writing Desk?" The boy asked. It was the strangest question ever, but Ironwood was always prepared. "Because if you try hard enough, they can both be made into a stew.

I hope you got that reference.

Punch in the back of the face by running around the world

Tip his hat to Salem for no reason.