Clumsy Little Heart
Alex:
Rian passed out in the desk chair that he had been spinning around in and Zack and Jack ran off somewhere to find food. Now I found myself alone with Cadee.
We went into the other room that was connected to this one. I laid down on one of the beds and began to channel surf, looking for anything interesting. So far I had come up empty. I felt a shift in the mattress as Cadee joined me on the bed. I didn't bother to look over, assuming she was just watching TV with me before she fell asleep.
After a few minutes I glanced over expecting her to be curled up in a ball in an alcohol induced sleep. She had lucked out in our drinking game, not having to drink nearly as much as the rest of us, but she was always one of the first to fall asleep after our parties.
Instead, when I looked over I saw Cadee leaning against the headboard with her eyes on me. I smiled at the grin that came across her face when I turned. I turned to my side, propping my head on my hand.
"What are you smiling at?" I asked when I couldn't take the silence anymore.
"You," she said simply. I didn't understand what she meant by that.
"Why?"
"I can't smile at my best friend?" she asked with a hint of something I had never heard from her before in her voice.
I just smiled brighter at her response. I missed having her around. I was reveling in the fact that she was even here when she leaned in. I don't know what I was expecting but what I got was something completely different.
She laid her hand on my arm as she kissed me softly on the lips. I froze.
At my reaction, she pulled away slightly looking into my eyes. I don't know what she saw there. Confusion? Uncertainty? Want? Desire? Need? I'm sure any if not all of those emotions were present right now.
Whatever she found lead her to move in once again. This time when our lips met I kissed back. I didn't know why Cadee decided to kiss me now, but I wasn't going to let the moment pass.
I was hovering over her body, my hands tangled in the hair at the base of her neck, when I felt her hands move to the bottom of my shirt, where she began to play with the hem. My mind was racing. I had known Cadee for more than half of my life, and I had never thought she would get this caught up in just a kiss.
As much as I didn't want to I pulled back. It was my turn to look in her eyes. I needed to see what was going on in her head. She smiled sweetly, still playing with the hem of my shirt. Her eyes were boring into mine and what I saw there caused me to catch my breath. I didn't see the half lidded eyes, heavy from the alcohol that I had expected. Instead, I saw her own want, desire, and something else, hurt?
I couldn't understand the emotions playing across her beautiful features. I was the one who wanted this to happen, wanted us to happen. She had done everything possible to create distance between us, in order to keep our friendship the same as it had always been. She was the one who ran from my advances. Now she was turning the tables, who was I to say no?
I leaned back in, capturing her lips in another captivating kiss. Except it was more than a kiss. My mind was spinning and I didn't quiet care.
In the middle of our little make-out session we had reversed positions. She now lay atop me, her legs straddling my hips. I moved my hands down her back, loving the feeling of her in my arms. When my hands reached her hips she slowly sat up, momentarily ending our kiss. She had a small smile on her face as her hands moved from their previous spot at my neck down my chest. When her hands reached the hem of my shirt she toyed with the fabric before her hands landed on my belt. Again, I froze.
That's when my brain kicked in. She didn't really want this. She couldn't. She was drunk. She had to be. She didn't know what she was doing. I couldn't let her do something that I knew she would regret. As much as I didn't want to I had to stop this, before it went to far.
I grabbed her wrists gently as I tried to sit up.
"Whoa, easy there," I breathed.
"You don't want to?" she asked, looking down at her hands. I could tell she was upset.
I let go of her wrists as I lifted her chin to look in her eyes. "Oh, I want to—" I began. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?" I asked when I noticed a tear escape her brown eyes, which now wouldn't meet mine.
She was silent. I gently rolled us over so that she was lying on the bed as I grabbed her face in my hands, trying to get her attention.
"I'm s-sorry," she whispered, almost inaudibly.
"Sorry? Sorry for what? You didn't do anything wrong," I answered.
"I shouldn't have— I knew it was too late," she said as she pushed me away and scrambled off the bed. She had made it to the bathroom and was about to shut the door when I turned her around to face me.
"What do you mean you knew it was too late? Too late for what?" I know she's drunk, but she is always the rational one, and right now she isn't making any sense at all.
She was silent again, a sign that she was either embarrassed, anxious, or both. I pulled her into my arms. I couldn't stand to see her this upset.
She immediately wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest. I kissed the top of her head.
"Cadee?" I asked hesitantly after a moment. She didn't answer, instead she pulled back whipping the tears from her eyes as she turned away from me. "Cadee? What's wrong? Tell me."
She took a deep breath before turning back to face me. Looking into my eyes she whispered, "I love you."
I had heard those words before, but this time they sounded completely different.
"Cadee, I love you too, you know that." She nodded slightly before pushing past me into the other room. "Cadee? Come on tell me what's wrong. What happened back there?"
She was sitting on the bed staring at the opposite wall. I came around the bed, kneeling in front of her; I took her hand in mine.
"Please, talk to me," I begged.
"I. Uh, Alex, can I ask you a question?" she asked.
"Yeah, of course."
"Do you- I mean. Are you-"
"Am I what?" I couldn't tell what she was getting at.
"Do you still like…like me as more than friends?" she looked down at her hands.
I raised my hand to touch her cheek before forcing her gaze up to me. "Yes. I love you, Cadee. I can't get you out of my head," I admitted.
I expected her expression to change. I didn't know if she would run, like before, but she stayed exactly the same. Her expression didn't falter but she took her hand from mine.
"Then why did you stop me?" she asked as she locked her gray eyes with mine.
"W-What?"
"Why did stop us from… I thought you wanted to—" she said as another tear escaped her eye.
I whipped it away as I took her face in my hands. I rose up on my knees to kiss her softly. Pulling away, I answered her most recent question, "I didn't want you to regret it. I know you don't like me that way. I figured you drank too much and you didn't know what you were doing. I'm sorry."
"I'm not drunk," she whispered and I nodded. "And I do like you. Wait, no I don't." I nodded again. I already knew this. "No. I didn't mean it like that. I don't just like you, Alex. I don't know when I figured it out, but… Alex, I love you. Not as my best friend, but as… I don't know, I just know that I love you, and I want to be with you."
Cadee:
I cannot believe I just said all of that. I mean. I'm glad I did. I needed to tell him, he needed to know how I really felt. Everything was finally out in the open. We both knew how the other felt about the other. We wanted the same thing.
"A-Are you s-sure?" Alex stammered.
I smiled slightly before pulling him to his feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him to me. I kissed him with everything I had. I needed to convey just how much I loved him.
He pulled away slightly as he laughed, "I love you, too!"
I smiled as he leaned back into our kiss. This was one of the happiest times of my life. I had my best friend back; we no longer had any secrets to hide. Everything was out in the open.
"Holy Shit!"
"Well, Fuck me!"
Alex and I pulled away from each other to turn towards the voiced that had interrupted us. Jack and Zack were standing in the doorway connecting the two rooms with wide eyes. I could tell they were shocked.
"What? What's going on?" Rian asked as he ran up behind the other two.
"We just found Alex and Cadee making out," Jack stated with a smirk.
I blushed as I glanced at Alex. He was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. When he saw my face he wrapped his other arm around my waist, pulling me close.
"Why are you two so surprised?" Rian was asking the boys. "We all knew it was bound to happen."
A/N: This is the end, for now.
I am working on the sequel, so look out for that.
I hope you enjoyed the story. Please review, I would appreciate it. Also, let me know if there is anything you would like to see happen in the sequel, I could use some ideas. Thank you!
