Because of Small Things
Chapter 12


For weeks, my training was increased. Everyday, it was harder than the previous day. I went to my room limping and usually stayed in a really hot bath all night, instead of my usual roof sitting. I was too exhausted and the warm water soothed my muscles. But after training, I'd sit in an ice bath, which was Yusuke's idea. It worked, really well. I was thankful for that. I had started to become stronger. I managed to throw Hiei to the ground, once. It was enough for my ego to rise. I haven't been able to do it since and it's been two weeks since that incident.

That bastard hasn't talked to me again in my head because everyday Hiei would penetrate my mind and everyday, I got better at blocking people. I don't think anyone below an A-class status could get into my head now. Hiei had some difficulties now, but I could tell I impressed him. That was an ego boost as well. I did used to be some scrawny girl from the asylum who couldn't control her emotions. Nowadays, I really didn't have that many emotions. I was beginning to become myself again; it was amazing. I requested Kurama get protein shakes (which he did) and I've been drinking those instead of milk or juice with dinner and my tiny, barely there body was turning back to what it used to with hearty meals and some protein shakes.

My rib cage didn't show unless I sucked it in and raised my arms above my head. My thighs actually jiggled, slightly. I was pretty content nowadays. I didn't think of how quick I'd start to be myself more. I was talking a bit more, even though it was just mere whispers. My regular voice still sounded like a cat was clawing my vocal cords but I was audible when I whispered.

Currently, the boys and I were walking into Koenma's office. He looked grim, as usual. "Boys, I just received something in the mail now and I don't think it's going to…suit with you all!" Koenma turned in his seat and a TV (appearing out of nowhere; I've never noticed it before) flicked on, becoming fuzzy at first. The screen changed and a chuckle echoed on the screen, sending chills up my spine. A familiar, broad, handsome face appeared on the screen. He was wearing a professional looking blue suit and his hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His golden eyes seemed to pierce mine even though he was on TV.

"Good evening, Koenma. I bet you remember me…" he began. "And hello spirit detectives and Etsuko…" My eyes narrowed. "Names are of no importance here… I've sent this as an invitation and it's an invitation you can't RSVP. It's a mandatory appearance. I have built a tournament called the Torneo Di Morte. That's right, the Death Tournament. Frankly, it sounds better in Italian!" He chuckled and his golden eyes seemed to brighten. "It has taken me almost a year to establish this tournament! Your group has been invited and you need five participants, one of which will be Etsuko." He paused and Koenma looked at me. I was glaring at the TV screen.

"The rules are simple: kill your opponent. The only ways to win are killing your opponent or knocking them cold. If they get knocked out of the rings, the match is still on. I've sent Koenma the map to where this tournament will be located and if you are not that in a months time, I will send my most powerful hit men to destroy you and your band of spirit detectives, Koenma, after, of course, I rape Etsuko in front of you..." My eyes narrowed more as my anger boiled. "So, I'll see you in a month's time..." The TV flicked off and everyone looked toward me. My anger was radiating off of me as my body shook with it. My demon side was shifting dangerously inside of me and if it weren't for my slight concentration, she would've busted out and destroyed Koenma's office.

"So, you see, I can't not accept...for your safety, Etsuko," Koenma stated. I glared at him, my face tickling.

"My safety has nothing to do with this!" I snapped my voice almost like a growl. "I would enter this tournament just to find that bastard and murder him myself..." Koenma frowned but nodded. Yusuke walked over cautiously and laid his hand on mine, smiling reassuringly. I looked at him and sighed, taking in a deep breath afterwards to try and calm myself. Ever since that time when Hiei saved me, I've been so angry at that man. He had scared me so badly that I couldn't move. I was embarrassed and therefore, I didn't want to ever see him alive again. I know I sounded murderous and probably evil right now, but that man didn't deserve to live. He killed my parents and I'm destined to kill him. I think that's the only reason why I've stuck around so long with the boys. I was destined to be trained by them and then murder that son of a bitch so I can start living again.

"I suggest you all start training now, instead of just Etsuko," Koenma stated. "In a month's time, I will make sure you all are safely placed at this tournament!" A portal appeared and I walked through without another word. I didn't want to speak. I wanted my silence. I wanted to think. I wanted to train, to get stronger. I'd have to get stronger so that we could win this tournament and I could have my chance at revenge by finding that bastard and murdering him. I walked upstairs but a hand caught my wrist. I looked behind me to see Kurama, eyeing me.

"We all need to talk, Etsuko," he stated, motioning to the three boys behind them. I sighed but nodded. "Usually Koenma doesn't comply with letting being such as yourself fight with us in tournaments. We're not exactly…nice." I narrowed my eyes, tapping my foot. "The last tournament we placed in, we lost a dear friend named Genkai. We got her back, in the long run, but we suffered great loss for the moments she was gone." I frowned. They were…worried about me?

"What are you saying?" I said in my normal whisper. Kurama sighed.

"We're thinking of declining this invitation, Etsuko… We can protect ourselves," Yusuke jumped in. "We defeated the Toguro team at the last tournament and they were described as the most powerful beings, still are! A couple hit men aren't going to make us suffer, Etsuko! We can defeat anything that comes in our way…"

"If you're not going, I'm going by myself," I snapped.

"Don't be stupid, onna," Hiei snapped. "You can never defeat those demons. You haven't defeated one of us yet, so what makes you think you can defeat a hundred demons?" I glared at him and went to advance toward him, but Kurama put his arm in front of me.

"We're not fighting right now, Etsuko. We're just worried about your safety," Kurama stated, frowning. I glared at all of them, my teeth grinding. I couldn't believe them. I had been training all this time to fight and to defend and they weren't giving me a chance. I was going to be in this tournament and no one's going to stop me, not even their petty worrying. I glared at them once more and rushed upstairs before any of them could grab my wrist again. I'd train myself if I had to. I could make punching bags out of trees or use animals as live opponents. I didn't care. I had to kill this bastard.

The door to my room echoed rather loudly when I slammed it and I was panting pretty hard from my anger. I wiped my angry tears away and plopped onto my bed, my teeth grit together so tight I was getting a migraine. I sat like that for a while before I had been able to calm myself, slightly. I was just now breathing pretty hard. I heard a knock and looked at my door. I waited for it to open and when it did, Yusuke walked in, looking very nervous. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Hey Etsuko," he stated with a nervous laugh. I glared at him. "Listen, don't get mad at us! We're just trying to look out for you." My glare intensified.

"I don't need you to look out for me," I hissed and Yusuke sighed, shutting my door and sitting beside me, sighing.

"Yeah, you probably don't with that demon inside of you waiting to pop out and kill any living thing that threatens you," he stated, looking over at me skeptically. I pursed my lips and looked away from him stubbornly. "You see, Kurama thinks of you as his little sister basically and do you know how much it would hurt him if you got hurt in this tournament? Especially by some blood-seeking demon?" I frowned. Hurting Kurama was like hurting a sibling. I was shocked he thought of me as his little sister; that was, surprisingly, comforting (without sarcasm). My face softened and I saw Yusuke smile slightly. "He knows how badly you want to kill this guy, he understands. We all do, but we'd like to do it on our own terms, our own turf basically." He paused. I looked at him and sighed. Yusuke was a good mentor too.

"Trust me when I say that I've been there with wanting to destroy someone who hurts your loved ones," Yusuke stated. "One time a demon used Keiko, my girlfriend, to get me to fight him. I don't think I've ever wanted to kill someone so much in my life." I frowned. He didn't tell me he had a girlfriend and that…her life was risked. "And everyday, I feel bad because if I wasn't what I was and didn't introduce her to my life, she would've never been harmed in the first place." I frowned and scratched the back of my head. "So listen to me when I say that going to this tournament probably won't be a good idea…" I looked at him and sighed.

"Yusuke, it's comforting that you all care about me, it is! But there's no way you're going to sway my decision on wanting to go. I'm sorry," I whispered. Yusuke sighed and looked away.

"Kurama won't like that but I was half expecting you to say that! I've been so bored out of missions nowadays, it's driving me insane. I'd kind of like a good demon ass kicking." My shoulders shook from laughter (my vocal cords haven't healed enough to laugh just yet) and Yusuke grinned over at me. "I guess I'll go be the bearer of bad news…" He got up and walked to my door but before he left, he turned and said, "Tomorrow, bright and early we're going to train… If you aren't awake by dawn, you're going to get a bucket of ice water…" I gave him a look.

"Like I sleep…" I whispered and he laughed, walking out with a click of my door. I sighed and looked out my window. I still couldn't believe how badly I wanted to fight in this tournament. I just wanted to glimpse at this bastard and when the tournament was through, I'd seek him out before he had a chance to leave and have our battle right there, at that moment. The only thing I was nervous about was…Hiei wouldn't be there to save me if I froze in fear. No one would be there to save me. I'd take off by myself to take care of something, by myself. I didn't want help, but I was more nervous about freezing in fear again. That was something I'd never get over. That fear had paralyzed me and I never want to feel that again.

I shook my head and walked to my window, staring out into the dimming horizon. It was nearing nighttime and I knew I'd be sitting outside for a while. I haven't done it in a while from the rigorous training I've been put through and tonight was probably the last night, for a while, I'd be able to sit on the edge of the roof and watch the moon make its way across the sky once again. I crawled onto my windowsill and sat against the wall, perching my knees up and staring out into the darkening sky. It was darkening fairly quickly, or I was zoning so badly time was flying. That second option seemed more realistic to me. To me, the moon was radiating tonight. It was bright and I was happy to say it was another full moon. That or really close to a full moon. All night, I sat on my windowsill, my window wide open to let the cool night's air soothing me, and stared at the moon's beauty.