Changes
July 2005
"Draco, dear, what are you staring at?" Narcissa asked at dinner as Draco worked to get his words to come out. He wasn't having much luck. There was a reason he was terrified of telling him mother about Hermione. She was ice cold and scary as hell when she wanted to be.
"Mother, what is it about Muggle-borns that disgusts you so much?" he asked, chickening out. He couldn't bring himself to tell her his true feelings for Hermione, even if it was what she needed. Not yet, at least. So, he went for making inroads on the issue.
His mother looked shocked by the question. "What are you on about?" she asked, her brows furrowing together. It was a rather strange question for the dinner table, but it floated out of his mouth all the same.
"I'm just trying to understand why someone like Voldemort could come to power. I mean, what is it that is so bad about Muggles and Muggle-borns." This was the most honest conversion he'd ever had with her about the issue of blood purity, and his heart was racing.
"I should think it would be obvious," Narcissa said, her nose in the air.
"But it's not," Draco pressed. "They don't differ in power. In fact, many Muggle-borns have shown greater power than Purebloods. Voldemort himself was a half-blood, and Harry Potter is too. Potter's mom was able to thwart Voldemort with the oldest magic, and she was Muggle-born. Hermione Granger was the top of our class, and the brightest witch to pass through Hogwarts in 100 years, and she is a Muggle-born," he reasoned.
"Why are you asking about this? You know very well that Purebloods are of better stock," she said, her tone clipped and irritated.
"But that's not true either," Draco continued boldly. "In fact, Pureblood marriages produce more squibs than any other kind. Miscarriages are normal for most women in our society, and marriages are based on obligation and not love which leads to children who don't know how to love or show that love," he pointed out. He was starting to sound a little sappy, but he found it hard to believe that any parent really wanted their child to be emotionally stunted.
"Enough," Narcissa said, her voice stern and cold. "Things are the way they are. It doesn't matter how many N.E.W.T.'s that Mudblood got, or how much power Potter has. Purebloods will always remain on top of our world."
It was then that Draco figured it out fully. There was no reasoning with blind hatred. And that was what his mother was, a hateful, prejudice blood purist. He'd never be able to reason with her. It wouldn't matter if Hermione saved the world 10 times over, she'd never be accepted by his mother, and the thought killed him.
He was too close to having her not to consider the possibility that he might have to tell his mother the truth, but how could he when she was this blindly ignorant of facts? Then again, why did he want the approval of a woman who hated the woman he loved for no other reason that who her parents were? Was that Hermione's point all along?
"Fine, Mother," he said, sipping from his wine glass. Part of him wanted to tell her that Hermione Granger was the greatest witch in the whole world and he wanted to make her next Lady Malfoy, but the loyal part of him couldn't get the words past his teeth.
August 2005
Draco stared at the machine in front of him, wondering how the hell to turn it on. He really wished he had Hermione right now. She was probably an expert on these...computers. But he was doing this for her, and she wasn't speaking to him at the moment.
He'd wandered into a Muggle library in hopes of anything that might help him with his business and would get the ancient Pureblood investors out of his hair. If he was going to make his plan work, he'd have to come up with a completely new way of doing business. The only problem was, he only knew of one way. His father's way.
Even if he didn't have intentions to woo Hermione - which after the speech she gave him at their last meeting, he did - somehow, he had to fix the business. As it was, he was a figurehead, and he was far too smart to be merely a face and name. He had ideas for the business, he just didn't know how to make them work. One of his ideas was to incorporate Muggle investments via the stock market.
Hermione had told him a great deal about it in their Seventh Year, and he'd been fascinated. He devoured every bit of information there was on the NYSE and others. If he could get the business to cross over into the Muggle world, he could get all the money he needed to invest in both Muggle and wizarding products. The problem was, he didn't know how to do any of this on his own. Which brought him back to the computer.
It couldn't be that difficult. Looking around, he saw children as young as seven playing around on them. Biting the bullet, he decided to flag down a librarian. Maybe if she just told him how to turn the buggering thing on, and a few basics, he could figure it out.
Ostracized was too nice a word for what Hermione was going through. Well, not completely. Her friends at work had taken her side, with the exception of a particularly snotty receptionist on the main floor - but she didn't care about her. But, by her real friends, she was on the 'no contact' list.
It had been over three months since she'd left Ron, and the Weasleys just pretended she didn't exist. It hurt, if she was honest about it. She had made a huge mistake, but she never really thought that her membership in their family was contingent on her relationship with Ron. It turned out she was wrong.
One thing she was enjoying was the single life. As she couldn't bear another doomed relationship; and Draco had made it clear that she still could only serve a sexual, and secret, roll in his life, she'd finally spent some time with herself and with the few friends she did still have.
Those friends included Luna, who was very understanding of the whole situation, and, surprisingly, Pavarti Patil. They both agreed she'd made a right mess of everything, but also agreed that love couldn't be denied, and though she should have made better choices, she couldn't be hated for not loving Ron even if he deserved it. Neither pushed her to tell who the mystery guy was, even though she knew they both were dying to know, and she appreciated that as well.
She missed Ron though...and Harry. They were the biggest part of her life for so long, and being totally cut off from them was harder than she thought possible. Ron was her husband, after all. She'd spent nearly every evening and morning with him. Waking up alone was hard. Doing everything alone was strange.
Then there was the issue of Draco. The longer he avoided her, the more she had to accept the fact that he wasn't willing to make her a priority in his life. She'd sort of held out hope that her ultimatum would be enough to get him to admit his love for her to the world, but after he left her apartment that night, he never contacted her again. She missed him too. Maybe most of all. She was proud of herself for not seeking him out, though. If he couldn't handle all of her, then he didn't deserve her, she kept reminding herself.
There was a knock at the door that pulled her from her kitchen cleaning. She wasn't expecting anyone, so she went to the door, confused. Her breath caught and her eyes grew wide when she saw Harry standing on the other side of the door.
"Can I come in?" he asked when she just stared at him.
"Umm, of course," Hermione said, moving aside to let him in. She led him to the living room and offered him a seat. "I'm glad you came."
"I'm still not sure if I am," Harry sighed.
"Why did you come then?" Hermione asked.
"I had to," Harry said, looking down at his hands. "I have to understand."
"I'll try to help you, but I fear you aren't going to like any of my explanations," Hermione said sadly.
"You're probably right. But...Hermione, why did you do it?" Harry finally asked, looking up at her.
"I love him," she said, swallowing hard. "I was completely wrong for cheating with him. There is no excuse for what I did. But that's why I did it. That's the whole reason. It wasn't because I wanted to hurt Ron or because I had some evil plan to break his heart."
"Who is it?" Harry said. When Hermione started to protest he shook his head. "No, I'm not going to take your vague denials anymore, Hermione. I want to know who he is."
Hermione sighed. "I can only tell you if you swear you are never going to tell anyone. Not Ginny. Not Ron. Not anyone."
"Why are you so scared of people finding out?" Harry asked.
Hermione sniffled. "I'm not. He is," she said. "That's why we broke up to begin with. He didn't want anyone to know about us."
"And you didn't kick his arse?" Harry asked, almost amused. The Hermione he knew would hex a guy like that into next week.
"I was in love, and stupid. He broke my heart, but I couldn't help how I felt about him anyway," Hermione tried to explain. She sounded so...girly. But, perhaps that's what loved did to you.
"I swear I won't tell anyone. But for me, your best friend, I need to know. I have to understand." Harry was pleading now. She knew it wouldn't make anything easier for him to understand, but she understood his desire to know.
Hermione was trembling now. She wanted to tell him so badly. Telling him would make it all real. And she knew she could trust him. If Harry Potter was anything, it was trustworthy. "You aren't going to like who it is," she warned.
"I don't like any of this," Harry pointed out.
"Draco," Hermione whispered. "Draco Malfoy." Harry's silence caused her to look up from her lap. He was just staring at her. Disbelief crossed his features before he schooled them.
"All of this for Draco Malfoy," he asked, finally. He tried to keep her voice nonjudgmental, she could tell, but he wasn't totally successful.
"You don't know how he really is," Hermione tried to explain.
"I'll tell you what I do know, Hermione. He broke your heart because he was afraid for anyone to find out that you were together. Then, when he knew you were married to someone else, he seduced you into cheating with him." Harry enumerated Draco's crimes and she couldn't help but feel a little protective of Draco in the moment. It wasn't like that, exactly. "And, I'll bet he didn't feel the least bit of remorse about it."
"I can't answer that," Hermione said. "But let me ask you this, Harry. Do you love Ginny?"
"Of course I do," he said.
"Imagine if she told you that she loved you, but she couldn't be with you in the open because her family would never accept it. Imagine that her career would be ruined if she openly dated you," Hermione said. "Would you be able to cast her aside?"
"No," Harry said, "but I also wouldn't have married someone else."
"Touché," Hermione said with a nod. "I was selfish and wrong when I dragged Ron into this mess. I know you and the Weasleys will never forgive me, and I deserve it."
"You don't need my forgiveness," Harry said. "You didn't hurt me. And I love you no matter what. But you have to know that Ron will probably never forgive, especially if he ever finds out what Malfoy is the other guy."
"I know," Hermione nodded. "I miss him. How is he?"
"Not too good," Harry admitted. "He's trying. I think Ginny makes it worse, honestly."
"I'll bet my name is thrown around a lot at the dinner table," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"I'm trying my best to get her to see reason, but he's her brother. She loves him," Harry explained.
"I get it," Hermione assured him. "Maybe one day they won't hate me."
"I don't think Ron hates you," Harry said. "He loved you very much, and you ripped his heart out. He just needs time." Hermione nodded.
"You better go before your wife has you castrated for talking to the enemy," she laughed hollowly.
"I'm Harry Potter," he said with a smirk. "I see who I want. But you are probably right. I'd better go."
"Please don't be a stranger," Hermione said hopefully.
"I'll try."
November 2005
Draco finally got it. It was a dream that brought everything together for him. In the dream, he and Hermione were together, married, happy, with children surrounding them. When he's woken up, he felt so overwhelmingly happy and terribly disappointed that it wasn't real all at the same time.
He wanted that. He wanted it so bad he could tasted it. He wanted it so bad, he wondered how he'd ever been content with having Hermione sporadically. He was stupid. He was shortsighted and selfish, and he only hurt himself in the end...and Hermione of course.
It all had to change. He couldn't live without her. He couldn't go on one more year without her by his side and in his life. Really, truly in his life this time. The company was nearly ready for the transition anyway. And, so what if his mother wasn't happy for him. He was nearly twenty-five years old and the breadwinner of the family. Would she really give up the lifestyle just to stick it to him? For the first time in his life, he didn't care anymore. He wasn't living a lie anymore.
